Mom the Toilet's Clogged!: Kid Disasters and How to Fix Them
By Lauri Berkenkamp and Charlie Woglom
()
About this ebook
In a household with children, disasters lurk around every corner. Laundry soap in the dishwasher. Baseballs launched through the neighbor's window. Heads stuck between stair railings. Sandwiches in the VCR. What's a parent to do? Mom, the Toilet's Clogged! takes on common kid-induced household problems and provides hands-on, rational solutions that work. Offering practical and funny advice in the bestselling tradition of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook and Hints from Heloise, this is the definitive guide to alleviating everyday trauma. Padded with interesting tips that most adults never thought they'd need—until they became parents—this book will help parents with whatever kid disasters befall them.
Read more from Lauri Berkenkamp
Explore Spring!: 25 Great Ways to Learn About Spring Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Discover the Amazon: The World's Largest Rainforest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBecause I Said So!: Family Squabbles & How to Handle Them Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTeaching Your Children Good Manners: A Go Parents! Guide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDiscover the Oceans: The World's Largest Ecosystem Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Mom the Toilet's Clogged!
Related ebooks
I Can Be Safe: A First Look at Safety Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStranger Danger: How to Talk to Kids About Strangers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Boredom Jar: activities and ideas to relieve summer boredom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings100 Amazing Facts for Kids : A Collection of Interesting Facts about Science, Animals, and History for Fun Times Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHouse Rules: A tired parent's guide to chores, bedtime, and other parenting trials Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Easiest Kids’ Crafts Ever: Cute & Colorful Quick-Prep Projects for Busy Families Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRubber Band Bracelets: 35 colorful projects you'll love to make Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOur Government: Local, State, and National: Idaho Edition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSugar Glider Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/514 Absolutely Horrible, Gross, Disgusting Facts About Animals: Educational Version Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Earth-Friendly Science Crafts Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Boredom Busters: Over 50 awesome activities for children aged 7 years + Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pizzas, Pirates and a Porcupine Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDragonolia: 14 Tales and Craft Projects for the Creative Adventurer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Crystal Gold Mine: In the Silver Valley of Idaho “The Big Blind Special!” Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 12+: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy: 2nd Edition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrayola ® Boredom-Busting Crafts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMother's Day Gifts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Dozen, Easy Rainy Day Kid Activities Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRepurpose It: Invent New Uses for Old Stuff Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChristmas Unwrapped: A Kid's Winter Wonderland of Holiday Trivia Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stop Picking on Me!: A First Look at Bullying Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Exploring with the Lewis and Clark Expedition: A This or That Debate Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen The Vet Is Away: A Comprehensive Health Handbook For Dogs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChristmas Elf Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Become a Babysitter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDiscover Christmas: Level 3 Reader Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChristmas Traditions around the World Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Relationships For You
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for Mom the Toilet's Clogged!
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Mom the Toilet's Clogged! - Lauri Berkenkamp
Handy
Just Say Cheese and Don’t Turn Your Head
It’s school picture day, and as your son sits down to breakfast, you notice he has something stuck to his head, making his hair puff up like a skunk’s tail. It’s really not his best look.
Oh, that’s gum,
he says, patting his hair and turning sideways to show you how it’s also stuck to his cheek and ear. I slept on it by accident. You should see my pillow.
As you assess the damage you wonder if the school photographer has ever actually refused to take a child’s photo before. You debate whether to look for the scissors now, or capture the moment on film. This will certainly be a picture to remember.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry—help is at hand. Mom, the Toilet’s Clogged!
Kid Disasters and How to Fix Them takes on common and not-so-common kid-related disasters, and provides hands-on, common-sense solutions that really work. This book covers everyday traumas in detail, from clogged toilets to heads stuck in between stair railings, complete with solutions, helpful hints, and interesting bits of information that you never thought you’d need—until you became a parent.
How to Use This Book
This book should be used as a guide; the disasters related in it have actually happened and certainly will again. The solutions are based on advice from qualified professionals and seasoned parents, and acknowledge that while coping with kid-related disasters may drive you nuts, they can also make you laugh— eventually.
The book is divided into sections that address related kid disasters. Has your son superglued his hands together or stuck gum in his hair? Look in Section 1: I Told You Not to Touch That for solutions to these and other body-related dilemmas. Plumbing problems? Section 2: Don’t Flush! addresses plumbing and appliance disasters from overflowing toilets to jammed garbage disposals. Section 3: What’s That on the Rug? offers aid to interior house disasters ranging from carpet stains to holes in dry-wall, and Section 4: What Did You Do to That Window? takes care of exterior disasters, from broken windows to dead car batteries.
And while you’re scrubbing marker off the walls or sweeping up the glass from that broken window, remember that while every day as a parent brings new opportunities for disaster, this book will help prepare you for whatever comes up, goes down, or gets stuck.
Section 1:
i Told You NOT to TOUCH That!
A Brush with Cactus Spines
You’re at the local plant and garden center picking up some mulch. Your children ask if they can go look in the greenhouse where the exotic plants are kept. Sure,
you reply, half listening, intent on making mulch decisions. After all, how much trouble could they get into in there? It’s just a bunch of plants, for heaven’s sake.
Plenty of trouble, it turns out. While you’re at the checkout your daughter comes up to you, whimpering, I had a little accident with a cactus,
and shows you hundreds of feathery prickers coating the back of her hand. You try not to wince, and mentally switch gears from an afternoon of happy mulching to hours of plucking (you) and crying (her).
Here’s What to Do
If the spines are big enough to see, try gently using cellophane tape to lift them off. If they are in too deep to pull off with tape, you should be able to remove them with a pair of tweezers. Don’t pick at them with a needle—it can cause infections and kids hate it. You need to be careful in any case not to break off the spine under the skin, since this too can cause infection.
Here’s What You Need
Cellophane tape
Tweezers
White household glue
Antiseptic
Warm water
Many cacti, especially the kind sold in plant stores, have spines that are practically invisible, and are very difficult to remove since you can’t see them to pluck