Persuasion IQ: The 10 Skills You Need to Get Exactly What You Want

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Persuasion IQ

© 2022 Kurt W. Mortensen.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by HarperCollins Leadership, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus LLC.

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ISBN: 978-0-8144-1025-7 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Mortensen, Kurt W.

Persuasion IQ : the 10 skills you need to get exactly what you want / Kurt

W. Mortensen.

   p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-13: 978-0-8144-0993-0

ISBN-10: 0-8144-0993-8

1. Business communication. 2. Persuasion (Psychology) 3. Influence (Psychology) 4. Success–Psychological aspects. 5. Success in business.

I. Title.

HF5718.M664 2008

651.7—dc22

2007049174

Information about External Hyperlinks in this ebook

Please note that footnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication.

I want to express my love and appreciation to

my loving wife Denita. She is the main reason

for my success. I also want to thank my children

Brooke, Mitchell, Bailey, and Madison

for their love and support throughout this project and

throughout my life. Family is what makes life a joy

and our dreams worth pursuing.

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

1 What Is Your Persuasion IQ? The New Rules of Success and Wealth

2 Persuasion Resistance: Ten Common Obstacles That Limit Your Persuasion Success

3 PQ Skill #1: Mental Programming of Top Persuaders

4 PQ Skill #2: Understanding How Your Audience Thinks

5 PQ Skill #3: Instant Rapport and Social Synchronization

6 PQ Skill #4: Establishing Automatic Trust

7 PQ Skill #5: Command Attention with Power and Authority

8 PQ Skill #6: The Ability to Influence Other People

9 PQ Skill #7: How to Motivate Yourself and Others Every Time

10 PQ Skill #8: Advanced Presentation and Communication Skills

11 PQ Skill #9: Preplanned Anticipation: The Secret Formulas of the Pros

12 PQ Skill #10: Self-Mastery and Personal Development

Final Thoughts: Time to Capture Your Greatness

Appendix A: Persuasion IQ Book Bonuses / Free Reports

Appendix B: Abridged Persuasion IQ Test

Endnotes

Index

About the Author

Preface

What makes someone successful? Why do some people achieve wealth, while others don’t? How can we predict who will make it big, who will barely make ends meet, and who will fail? How do we quantify the characteristics of highly successful people?

It all started in 1905. French psychologist Alfred Binet developed one of the first IQ (intelligence quotient) tests. Throughout the years many scientists have tried to predict future educational achievement and life performance by using tests to measure intelligence. The hitch was that a high score on this type of measured intelligence was no guarantee of life success.

Intelligence is an important trait, but there are many types of intelligences. Howard Gardner found there were multiple types of intelligences, with each individual exhibiting varying levels of these different intelligences. What types of intelligences did the successful and ultraprosperous have? Which ones were they born with and which ones were learned?

Eventually, the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) was developed. Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence, showed the world that success was determined not only by IQ, but also by EQ. Emotional Intelligence, often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ), describes an ability to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups.

My research on what makes people successful has revealed that success depends on something beyond IQ and EQ. My studies show that those who enjoy greater happiness and wealth in life possess a high ability to persuade, influence, sell, negotiate, motivate, lead, and understand human nature. These are not abilities learned in school, yet they must be mastered to achieve major success in life. Some call this street smarts; I call it your Persuasion IQ (PQ). Studies show that those who generate wealth and success always possess a high PQ.

Given that, increasing your PQ is critical for your success and this book will help you do just that. This book can change your income, your relationships, and even your entire life. Each chapter reveals the traits and characteristics of top producers in every aspect of life. This is based on over seventeen years of research. Not just theory or hearsay, but proven techniques that work in real life. In this book I’ve taken all the results of my research and made them easy to understand, easy to apply, and easy for you to use.

Deep down we want everyone to listen and do exactly what we want. Every day you either persuade others to your point of view or they persuade you to theirs. We have learned from society to use intimidation, coercion, control, force, or sometimes compromise to get what we want. Why settle for short-term compliance when you can have lasting long-term influence? Persuasion has changed and we must change our persuasion skills to adapt ourselves to the new world. Top persuaders persuade without detection and they persuade others the way they want to be persuaded. In today’s skeptical world any old-school persuasion attempts will be resisted.

Lack of persuasion, lack of trust, old-style persuasion, and lack of people skills cost business billions of dollars a year in lost revenue. How much has lack of persuasion or a low PQ cost you? Now is the time to upgrade your skills instead of relying on techniques of the past.

—Kurt W. Mortensen

Acknowledgments

Grateful acknowledgments and deep appreciation are due to all of the people who helped make Persuasion IQ a reality.

I want to express special sweeping thanks to all my customers and clients of the Persuasion Institute who made this research possible. I appreciate all my colleagues, parents, friends, teachers, examples, and associates who helped me along the way. Thanks for your help in teaching and testing these ideas every step of the way. Thanks to all of you who believed in me and all of you who didn’t.

Deepest appreciation also goes out to Steve Olson, Mike Ray, Tyler Ruby, Ellen Kadin, Dan Merrick, David Bird, Jake Simpson, Jason Denney, Jill Waters, John Sorenson, Russ Voght, Kiona Teo, Loren Peterson, Natasha Marcon, Perry Wakefield, Rob Wheeler, Seth Ellsworth, Kim Scott, Gavin Poulton, Mike Carter, Judd Simpson, Jarad Severe, Kurt Jacobson, Michael Jackson, and Jim Brewster.

CHAPTER ONE

What Is Your Persuasion IQ?

The New Rules of Success and Wealth

What does it take to persuade with power in any encounter? Think about it. When was the last time you didn’t get something you wanted? What happened? Did you fail to get your point across? Were you persuaded by someone else? Our understanding of persuasion and influence has changed dramatically over the past twenty years. In the past, we did not know or care how consumers thought or what prompted them to buy or take action. Most people in sales and marketing were shooting in the dark. We hoped that what we were doing was working. Dr. Antonio Damasio of Iowa College of Medicine sums it up best: More may have been learned about the brain and the mind in the 1990s—the so-called decade of the brain—than during the entire previous history of psychology and neuroscience.¹

At some point, every persuader has lost a client, a customer, or even a friend, has failed at a business, or has blown a new account. Setbacks of this kind have no doubt happened to you. Sure, it hurts, but the question is: Who or what did you blame? It cost you money, embarrassed you, upset you, and someone must be blamed for your discomfort. However, when you embark on a new career, start a new business, or attempt something new, there are risks involved. When things don’t work out as expected, the knee-jerk reaction often is: Well, this does-n’t work. I say, "No, it didn’t work for you this time. But I know you can make it work." There are thousands of people in your field or industry, in the same (or worse) circumstances as yours, with the same intelligence (and often less) who have made it work. It is not the vehicle(whether business, real estate, network marketing, the Internet, commissioned sales, or any other endeavor) but the gas (persuasion, people skills, self-mastery) for the vehicle that makes the difference between mediocrity and success.

The power of persuasion enables and empowers you to:

Read people instantly.

Create instant trust.

Get others to take immediate action.

Close more sales.

Win over your adversaries.

Earn what you are worth.

Get others to accept your point of view.

Repeatedly hear the magical word yes.

Accelerate the success of your business.

Enhance your relationships.

Win negotiations.

Get your way.

Persuasion is the number one skill possessed by the ultra-prosperous. If you stop and think about it, everything you want in life comes as a direct result of persuasion. Brian Tracy, a renowned expert in persuasion, says, People who cannot present their ideas or sell themselves effectively have very little influence and are not highly respected.² The converse of this statement is that if you can effectively present your ideas and persuade others, you will be highly influential and highly respected.

Did you know that more CEOs of major U.S. corporations come from sales and marketing backgrounds than from any other discipline?³ Being the CEO of a major corporation may or may not be your goal, but no matter what your career choices, dreams, or goals are, persuasion is the key to your success. Persuasion professionals—sales and marketing experts—are the most sought-after employees.⁴ Parents, teachers, leaders, managers, entrepreneurs, employees, and sales professionals all need persuasion skills. Regardless of our actual job title, we all persuade—we all sell—for a living.

Napoleon Hill spent twenty years researching success and prosperity, during which he uncovered the skills and habits of millionaires and discovered what the ultra-prosperous were doing that the average person was not. What habits, skills, and traits did the successful all have in common? Following the release of his famous bestsellers, Think and Grow Rich and Succeed and Grow Rich Through Persuasion, Hill dubbed the ability to persuade as the most important skill for reaching one’s greatest potential.⁵

Your area of persuasion might be selling a product, presenting an idea effectively, negotiating a better deal, getting a raise, influencing someone to become a better person, or reaching a troubled teenager. No matter what the setting, success in all these situations depends on persuasion. Persuasion is key in every aspect of life. Consider the following ways we use persuasion every day:

Role

Parents

Sales professionals

Account reps

Persuasion

Guide

Close

Sell

Audience

Children

Prospects

Clients

Role

Managers

Leaders

Coaches

Advertisers

Lawyers

Presenters

Entrepreneurs

Marketers

Mentors

Politicians

Corporations

Clergy

Doctors

Persuasion

Recruit

Influence

Train

Educate

Sway

Inspire

Win

Convince

Advise

Urge

Assure

Enlighten

Counsel

Audience

Employees

Followers

Teams

Shoppers

Juries

Listeners

over

Consumers

Students

Constituents

Shoppers

Members

Patients

The list could go on. The point is we constantly find ourselves in persuasive encounters, in every sphere of life, both publicly and privately. What is your persuasion IQ (PQ)? Where do you rank in the world of persuasion and influence? And how do you move from persuasive mediocrity to persuasion mastery?

The Man and His New, Shiny SUV: A Fable

After the purchase of a shiny red SUV, the new vehicle owner felt excited about his purchase but, at the same time, nervous about the large investment. It was a financial stretch to buy the car, but he felt so good behind the wheel. It just felt right. He was sure that this new car would open many doors—that it would be the start of something great. Things would be tight financially, but he felt the investment was worth every penny. Two weeks later, the gas light illuminated, and he automatically pulled into a gas station to fill up the tank. To his great dismay, he watched the counter on the pump go to $20, then $30, then $70 … it finally stopped at $82.77. That’s highway robbery! he thought. It wasn’t fair that gas was so expensive! He vowed never to buy gas again, and he never did. There his car sat, parked in the driveway, shiny and new and never moving because of his headstrong refusal to put gas in his car.

Meaning: No matter what type of vehicle (business) you have, it will go nowhere if you do not have the gas (persuasion and people skills).

Just as gas is critical to your car (regardless of cost), persuasion is critical to your business. Most people would love to be able to know how to persuade and influence others, on the spot, in any situation. Suppose you are talking to a friend, a client, or a prospect, and you can’t get your point across. Now imagine you could buy a spray can of persuasion, spray that person, and have her instantly change her mind to your point of view. What would that be worth to you? How much would you pay for such a spray can of persuasion? Imagine being able to persuade others with such power and ease.

YOU CAN MASTER THE ART AND SCIENCE OF PERSUASION

The good news is that persuasion skills can be learned and mastered. It’s amazing how little effort, time, or expense that individuals, companies, and corporations would have to spend on sales and persuasion training to equip themselves with these vital skills. Armed with such knowledge, the persuader’s income and the company’s profitability increases dramatically, and the client, customer, or friend is yours for life. The question I always get at this point is: How much will it cost me to acquire, learn, and master these persuasion and life skills? I want to shift the focus of that question. How much will it cost you if you don’t? As the billionaire Donald Trump said, Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding for its profound value across all areas of life.

Why have I dedicated my life to understanding, mastering and teaching persuasion and life mastery? The reason is that I was mad I hadn’t learned these critical life skills while earning my college degree or advanced business degree. Who/what had failed me? If persuasion is the skill of success, why hadn’t I learned it from school, or anywhere else for that matter? Why had I been given a pocket knife to chop down the tree of success and wealth? Why had I been given the wrong tools? Why did these critical life skills have to be learned through the school of hard knocks?

I desperately wanted to master the priceless skill of persuasion. I read every book on the subject that I could get my hands on, attended countless persuasion, leadership, negotiation, and sales seminars, read thousands of studies on human behavior and social psychology, listened to every audiotape or CD on persuasion, motivation, and influence I could find. I gleaned lots of great information, but found something was still missing. All the studies, programs, books, and speakers touched on good ideas, but I couldn’t find a source that tied it all together.

Frustrated, I decided to take my research to the next level. I sat through countless sales presentations, consumer intercepts, and surveys. I listened to telemarketing scripts, endured many offensive old-school persuasion tactics, and witnessed innumerable closes. I took sales and sales management positions to find what was working. I sought out the top professional persuaders to learn what makes them tick. I monitored not only top persuaders, but their audiences as well to determine what they did and did not like, why they were or were not persuaded.

Overflowing with my research results, I founded the Persuasion Institute to catalog my findings and share the secrets of persuasion with others who desire to reach their greatest potential. Since its inception, the Persuasion Institute has administered over 20,000 Persuasion IQ assessments. My role is to teach you the skills of top persuaders. What talents, traits, characteristics, habits, and mindset do top persuaders possess? How can an average persuader become a great persuader? I also help persuaders understand their audience. I talk to your customers, clients, and prospects after you do. Why are they lying to you, not calling you back, avoiding you, running away, or not buying? I find out exactly what happened and what you can do to improve your ability to persuade and influence.

Learning how to persuade and influence makes the difference between hoping for a better income and actually having a better income. Ask yourself this question: How much money and income have I lost with my inability to persuade and influence? Think about it. Sure, you’ve seen some success, but think of the times you just couldn’t get it done. Has there ever been a time when you did not get your point across? When you were unable to convince someone to do something?

I have asked the question, How much has your inability to persuade cost you or your business? across the world, online, and in seminars. The answers are staggering. Across the board, the average amount people felt they had lost totaled $4.3 million. Over time, all those lost opportunities—relationships, business deals, or promotions—take their toll. As I delved deeper into the subject, I realized that those who had mastered persuasion and influence were able to dictate their income and could almost effortlessly find employment, start a business, or lead others anytime, anywhere.

CRACKING THE PERSUASION CODE

Based on seventeen years of study, research, and experience in the field, the Persuasion Institute’s Persuasion IQ assessment has cracked the code. Our findings and information will equip you with the essential habits, traits, and skills you need to become an unstoppable power persuader. The intelligence gathering, conceptual organizing, and explaining are all done for you. It is the most comprehensive persuasion resource available today.

Do you think you are already persuasive? Think again. Research shows that most persuaders use only three to four persuasive techniques, over and over again. Even high producers typically use only seven or eight persuasive techniques. What a waste of talent! Did you know that there are over one hundred persuasive tools and techniques that you can have readily available, right at your fingertips?

If you look at persuasion as if it were a piano, then most people only use a few piano keys and are playing Chopsticks when they could be using all the keys and playing Mozart.

Understanding that yesterday’s persuasion training no longer applies in today’s fast-paced, educated environment is the first step to mastering persuasion. Your audience does not want a product pusher, and they don’t want to hear those cheesy one-liners. True persuasion is about creating customers and friends for life; it’s not about getting that one quick sale that’s all too likely to turn into a dissatisfied customer, a return, or a refund. It’s not about getting short-term compliance. That type of persuasiveness will generate long-term resentment, rebellion, and frustration.

People aren’t won over by tactics and gimmicks. In fact, they’re all too weary of them. A New York Times poll found that 56 percent of respondents felt you can’t be too careful in dealing with most people, and 34 percent said that most people would try to take advantage of you if they got the chance.⁶ When asked what they thought about persuaders or salespeople, only 32 percent of respondents said, I have a positive attitude toward salespeople.

The challenge is that most persuaders are certain they possess most of the persuasion traits they need, but when you ask the people and prospects they interact with, you get a completely different picture. Whatever your area of persuasion, most of your audience (whether prospects, employees, or clients) will describe you as:

One-sided

Time waster

Fake friend

Greasy

Dishonest

Loud

Exaggerator

Pushy

Fast-talking

Devious

Condescending

Poor listener

Deceptive

Manipulative

Self-centered

Or they’ll complain about your:

Poor communication

Being misinformed

Lack of followthrough

Overpromising

Badmouthing the competition

Lack of interpersonal skills

Useless small talk

Getting personal too fast

Blaming others

Not really caring

Asking offensive questions

Attempts to get their wallet

Not understanding their business

Employing obvious closing tactics

Why all this negativity? First of all, the general public is more educated now than ever before, which means they are more discerning. Secondly, all of us are bombarded by countless persuasive messages every day. We don’t have to go looking for them—they find us. By the age of twenty, the average American has been exposed to approximately one million television commercials.⁷With such a constant marketing onslaught, who wouldn’t be sick of it? Everyone starts to go numb with the sheer volume of daily persuasive attempts.

So it’s best to know the facts up front. Most people think persuaders talk too much, overpromise, fail to follow through, are only looking out for themselves, and are greedy or manipulative. Sorry, no sugar coating.

What does all this mean for you as a persuader? It means out with the old and in with the new. Forget about the old tactics, clichés, and stereotypes. It’s not about having tricks up your sleeve and pulling a fast one. It’s not about coercing, nagging, bullying, or begging. These forms of persuasion are not really persuasion at all. They may work initially, but their effects are only temporary and your audience quickly becomes desensitized. As a society, we’ve grown to be more demanding and less patient.

Instead of learning techniques and strategies, think in terms of transforming yourself into a naturally persuasive person. You are what’s persuasive, not some tactic you employ. You’re the real deal. You are persuasive because of the traits, talents, and characteristics you have integrated into your life. Persuasion is the critical skill, and it’s transferable in any situation or career. Cultivating your natural persuasiveness will bring you success in any job, setting, or business.

While traveling on an airplane, I remember talking to a gentleman who was faced with a significant, but very common challenge. He had always wanted to be an entrepreneur and to own his own business. He knew that having his own business and being his own boss were the keys to his personal freedom and financial independence. He’d earned his college degree with honors and had done extensive research on his great business idea. He wrote the perfect business plan. Everyone said it was a great idea. It seemed he could not fail. But he made one vital mistake, which was thinking that his college degree and extensive research were enough to ensure success. As it turns out, studies show that there is no correlation between college grades and lifetime earnings.⁸

Furthermore, this airplane seatmate of mine had forgotten one crucial element—the one thing he had skimmed over in his haste to get to the good stuff, the nuts and bolts of his business—and it proved to be a major stumbling block. He thought he possessed persuasion and people skills, but that is not what his potential clients thought. He did not have the ability to connect with people. He could not persuade others to believe in his ideas or services. He told me he had suffered huge financial losses because of this one issue. It was extremely frustrating for him, because he’d gotten his degree, done his homework, and wanted to be successful. Every single possible detail was in order, but without persuasion, people skills, or communication skills, none of it mattered. We can be experts in our field, but still never see great success without these core skills we will be talking about in this book.

This oversight is a common trend in corporate America, and in particular in the entrepreneurial world. Did you know that 96 percent of all business start-ups fail within five years? ⁹ Why is this so? The U.S. government’s Small Business Administration and the Persuasion Institute (independently) set out to discover why. Both organizations spent considerable time and money trying to uncover the root of the problem, and in the end, they both came to the same conclusion: businesses fail because of lack of sales. Dun and Bradstreet found similar results and called this failure managerial incompetence, meaning that the individuals running these businesses did not know what they were doing. More specifically, they found that the