7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child

Praise for 7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child

"A great resource for parents who want their children to grow up bilingual. 7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child uses clear, accessible prose to present research-based information that debunks the myths associated with learning two or more languages from birth. If you have thought about raising bilingual children but find the prospect daunting, reading this book is an excellent first step in assuaging your fears and in turning the possibility into reality."

—Graciela Vidal, Editor, Scholastic News, English/Español

"7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child makes a very compelling case for the great benefits that come from knowing a second language. It’s an invaluable tool for parents who want to expose their children to a second language. The straightforward and informative writing style breaks down the process into small steps that make the goal of raising bilingual children seem completely attainable and, of course, absolutely worthwhile."

—Federica Della Noce, parent raising two bilingual children

"In my line of work, you quickly learn the importance of being multilingual, and we know it will only be more important for the next generation. Insightful and easy-to-digest, 7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child demystifies a complicated issue, dispenses with the common fallacies, and offers easy-to-follow strategies. I heartily recommend it to parents and teachers alike."

—Erik Church, President, EF Institute for Cultural Exchange

As a bilingual educator who has been involved in the field for over 30 years, I am thrilled finally to see a book specifically addressing the needs and questions of parents who want to raise bilingual children. Dr. Steiner combines solid research in second-language acquisition with practical ‘how-to’ steps to guide and support families. She dispels the myths surrounding bilingualism and offers sound advice. This book provides sensible and much needed guidance on this topic. Bravo Dr. Steiner!

—Susan McGilvray-Rivet, Ph.D., Director of ESL, Bilingual and Sheltered English Programs, Framingham Public Schools

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7 Steps to Raising a Bilingual Child

© 2022 Naomi J. Steiner and Susan L. Hayes

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by HarperCollins Leadership, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus LLC.

Any internet addresses, phone numbers, or company or product information printed in this book are offered as a resource and are not intended in any way to be or to imply an endorsement by HarperCollins Leadership, nor does HarperCollins Leadership vouch for the existence, content, or services of these sites, phone numbers, companies, or products beyond the life of this book.

ISBN: 978-0-8144-0176-7 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Steiner, Naomi, 1966–

7 steps to raising a bilingual child / by Naomi Steiner with Susan L. Hayes ; foreword by Steven Parker.

    p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-8144-0046-3

1. Bilingualism in children. 2. Child rearing. 3. Child development. 4. Language acquisition. I. Hayes, Susan L., 1966– II. Parker, Steven, 1947– III. Title. IV. Title: Seven steps to raising a bilingual child.

P115.2.S74 2008

404'.2083—dc22

2008021000

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Please note that footnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

STEP 1

Building the Foundation for Your Child’s Bilingualism

What Does It Mean to Be a Bilingual Family?

What Does It Mean to Be Bilingual?

7 Common Myths about Bilingualism

The Bilingual Advantage

STEP 2

Making It Happen: Defining Your Goals

Decide Which Languages Are Important to You and Why

Identify Your Motivations for—and Your Reservations about—Bilingualism

WORKSHEET 1 Language Questionnaire

Choose Which Language(s) You and Your Partner Are Going to Speak to Your Child

Set a Start Date

Determine How Proficient You Hope Your Child Will Be in a Second Language

Do a Reality Check. Are Your Proficiency Goals Realistic for Your Family?

Take into Account That One Language Will Be Dominant

WORKSHEET 2 My Bilingual Goals and Choices

STEP 3

Becoming a Bilingual Coach

Part One: Taking Charge

Part Two: Who Speaks Which Language When?

STEP 4

Creating Your Bilingual Action Plan

Part One: Maximizing Language Input at Home

Part Two: Making The Most of Community and Family Resources

Part Three: Finding School Support

Part Four: How Three Families Are Raising Bilingual Children

Part Five: Create Your Own Bilingual Action Plan

WORKSHEET 3 What Are the Key Components to My Bilingual Action Plan?

WORKSHEET 4 Our Family’s Weekly Bilingual Schedule

STEP 5

Leaping over Predictable Obstacles

Predictable Obstacle 1: I’m Not Sure That I’m Speaking to My Child in a Way That Will Help Him Become Bilingual

Predictable Obstacle 2: My Child Does Not Want to Speak My Language Anymore—She Only Wants to Speak English

Predictable Obstacle 3: My Child Keeps Mixing Languages

Predictable Obstacle 4: I’m Self-Conscious about Speaking My Language to My Child in Public

Predictable Obstacle 5: Because I’m the One Who Speaks a Second Language, I Feel Like I’m the One Doing All the Work to Raise Our Child Bilingual

Predictable Obstacle 6: My Work Schedule Has Become Really Hectic, and There’s Little Time for My Child’s Bilingualism

STEP 6

The Two Rs: Reading and Writing in Two Languages

Reading in a Second Language

The Write Stuff

STEP 7

Adapting to School: The Bilingual Child Goes to School

Part One: Public Bilingual Education Programs: Where We’ve Been, Where We’re at, and Where We’re Going

Part Two: Results May Vary: How to Handle Special Situations That Can Affect Your Child’s Bilingual Academic Progress

Conclusion

Bilingual Resource List

References

Index

FOREWORD

In 1995, a brilliant young pediatrician named Naomi Steiner came to our Division of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics at Boston University to do a fellowship. Of course, we were all struck by her impeccable English accent (sure to make anyone sound like a genius, no matter what they say). But Naomi—who grew up in Switzerland—spoke mellifluous French, imposing German, and, in a pinch, some Italian. We hopelessly monolingual professionals were in awe.

We saw first hand how her command of languages was a boon to her professional work. She could converse easily with our many Haitian families and read scientific articles in their original German. It was a skill we all envied.

Over the last decade we have learned a lot more about the advantages of growing up multilingual. Indeed, I now believe that promoting bilingualism is one of the best things a parent can do for his or her 21st-century child. Here’s why:

1. Knowing a second language will be a huge advantage in competing for and succeeding in jobs in our ever-shrinking, flat world.

2. Knowing a second language provides a more complex understanding of other countries and cultures.

3. There is evidence that learning a second language early in life confers other advantages for brain development:

• more cognitive firepower is devoted to language

• a better ability to deal with distractions

• easier to learn a 3rd language

• improved attentional and spatial abilities in the elderly

• improved memory

• more creative use of language.

And, best of all, there is zero potential downside. Your grandmother’s myths (such as, bilingualism confuses kids, bilingualism causes language delays) were wrong. Plus, you don’t need to be a superstar to become bilingual. Pretty much any child without a language disability can do so with ease. And the sooner the process begins, while the language acquisition areas of the brain are crackling, the better.

Of course, raising a bilingual child is easier if English is not your primary language. You can and should just speak your native tongue at home from the start. Don’t worry, between peers and school and the media, your child will learn accent-free English just fine.

But it’s not so easy if you, like most of us hopeless Americans, are a monoglot (the wonderful term for a single language speaker that vaguely sounds like an insult). Here’s what won’t work: having a foreign nanny for a few years or teaching sign language at 9 months without continuing your child’s immersion in that language. You’ll have to pick a language to which your child can continue to be exposed (hopefully for at least 5 hours/week), the earlier the better, for many years.

How to achieve this laudable goal in child rearing? Naomi Steiner is clearly the right person at the right time to guide you through every step of this important endeavor. I predict her book will become a classic of its kind. I for one will be recommending it to all my patients and friends. It’s thoughtful, wise, well-written, and sympathetic in tone, written by someone who has been there and who has the professional and personal experience and smarts to put it all together for the rest of us.

So, gracias, merci, vielen Dank to Dr. Steiner for providing parents with a guidebook on how to raise a multilingual child. It’s the right book at the right time by the right person.

Steven Parker, M.D.

Associate Professor of Pediatrics,

Boston University School of Medicine

Division of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics,

Boston Medical Center

INTRODUCTION

People are often amazed when my children switch from speaking English with them to talking to my husband in Italian, and then go off to converse in German with their grandmother. How can your kids be so comfortable speaking more than one language? they ask.

They live in an environment where more than one language is spoken, I answer. So that is what they’ve learned to do. This is true enough—but it’s only the tip of the iceberg.

The rest of the iceberg is vast indeed. Deciding to raise children who speak more than one language is like many other parenting decisions: You start off by gathering information from friends, experts, authors of books and magazine articles, and the Internet. Then, you make the best decision for your family and develop a plan to carry it out.

I first began considering the possibility of raising my children to be bilingual when I was pregnant with my oldest child. Although I was born in England, I grew up speaking four languages. My Swiss husband spoke five. How many languages, I wondered, could our baby learn?

As a developmental and behavioral pediatrician now living in the United States, I was initially confident that I could find the information I needed to make educated choices about raising my children to be bilingual, or even multilingual. After all, in the busy Boston hospital where I practice medicine, I have easy access to speech and language therapists, education specialists, child psychologists, and the most current research studies available.

However, I soon realized that there were enormously conflicting opinions. While some experts were certainly encouraging about raising bilingual children, others cautioned me not to confuse my child. In other words, I received the same mixed messages about bilingualism that my patients did!

This was more than a little surprising to me, since nearly 20 percent of the children in the United States are currently being brought up to be bilingual, and most parents—like me—have a gut feeling that teaching their child a second language is the right thing to do. As a result, I decided to explore the topic of raising bilingual children more fully. I have spent the past decade conducting my own research on the subject, as my children are growing and are learning multiple languages and as I have continued working with many families who are on the same journey.

In this book, I will take you on a journey of discovery, and I’d like to begin by telling a little bit about my own family’s journey. Be assured that my husband and I initially experienced some of the same trepidations that you might be feeling right now, not the least of which was can we really pull this off? But we cast away our fears and decided that my husband would speak to our children in Italian and I would speak to them in English. (This is called the One-Parent-One-Language method, which is explained in detail in Step 3.) Even so, my husband was unsure that he could speak to our kids only in Italian. Perhaps like you, he was not surrounded by family members who spoke the language, and he was not even speaking it himself on a daily basis. But I hope you’ll take heart from our experience. We were both surprised how fast he got into the groove, and how much he enjoyed it. Our children are now 11 and 9, and Italian is the only language that they speak with their dad. What’s been really wonderful for me to see is that by sharing a language not spoken by everyone else around them, they’ve developed a bond that goes so much deeper than simply using words to communicate. When our family returns to the village where my husband grew up, it’s as though the children are proudly going back to where they come from too.

I speak only English to the children, and continued to do so even when we lived for a few years in a non-English speaking country. My husband and I speak French to each other, and it has been fascinating to observe the effect this has on our children. One evening when my son was only a toddler, my husband said to me in French, He looks tired. I think he needs to go to bed, to which our son immediately answered back in English, I’m not tired! No secret language for us, I’m afraid! Both our children understand and can speak some elementary French sentences. (I will speak more about this phenomenon of passively learning a language in Steps 1 and 2.)

One thing I learned early on from my research and personal experience, however, is that people feel very strongly about bilingualism, no matter what their own background. The languages we speak have a huge impact on our personal and political identities. Multiple myths—which I discuss in the first chapter—about bilingualism continue to propagate various concerns regarding the adverse effects of raising children to speak more than one language. Even the pediatric residents I teach at the medical center where I work are surprised to hear that bilingualism is not only natural—the majority of people around the world are bilingual—but that it is a fabulous stimulation for a child’s developing brain.

Here’s another thing that might surprise you: Parents do not have to be bilingual themselves to raise a bilingual child. I’d like to take a moment here to specifically address monolingual parents. If you are monolingual, you can still raise your children to be bilingual! The step-by-step approach described in this book will work for you, too.

Fortunately, new advances in psycholinguistics and brain research have made it easier to bust these and other negative myths about bilingualism. We can now safely say that there is no scientific evidence to support the idea that giving up one language necessarily promotes the development of another. A child who stops speaking Spanish or Russian, for instance, will not become a better English speaker simply because he focuses his attention on one language.

In this book I will share with you the information I began gathering from professionals and research studies when I was an expectant mother and that I continue to gather today, many years later. Out of this information and my own experience, I have developed a step-by-step approach that will take you from thinking about raising a bilingual child to developing and carrying out a plan for making it happen to overcoming the challenges that can accompany raising a bilingual child. There are a total of seven steps, and each step is one chapter in this book.

In the same way that building a house atop a foundation makes it stronger, having a foundation for raising your child bilingual can make the process easier and go more smoothly. That foundation is understanding bilingualism. I have seen many dedicated parents fail in their effort simply because they did not know the basic facts about bilingualism. Moreover, having this understanding will not only help you teach your child to speak more than one language, it will help you weather the challenges that are inevitably part of the journey and stand firm in your conviction that this was the right decision for you and your child. I help you build the foundation for raising your child bilingual in the first chapter of this book.

The second logical step is to define your bilingual goals. Each parent can have different expectations of what their goals are for their children. Even the definition of bilingualism isn’t as obvious as you might think. Just the other day, a pediatrician I work with was surprised to hear that she was bilingual. She can speak some Korean and reads the Korean alphabet, but has difficulty making out the words, so she has never defined herself as bilingual.

Once you define your bilingual goals, the next two steps are to become comfortable in your role as a bilingual coach and to create a workable Bilingual Action Plan that will allow you to turn your goals into reality. Steps 3 and 4 are critical because children don’t just automatically pick up languages. Consistent language input is key, and as you’ll see, explicitly defined