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    What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter
    What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter
    What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter
    Ebook146 pages36 minutes

    What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter

    By Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman

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    About this ebook

    A mother's advice to her daughter--a guide to daily living, both practical and sublime--with full-color illustrations throughout.

    One sleepless night while she was in her early twenties, illustrator/writer Hallie Bateman had a painful realization: her mom would die, and after she died she would be gone. The prospect was devastating, and also scary--how would she navigate the world without the person who gave her life? She thought about all the motherly advice she would miss--advice that could help her through the challenges to come, including the ordeal of losing a parent.

    The next day, Hallie asked her mother, writer Suzy Hopkins, to record step-by-step instructions for her to follow in the event of her mom's death. The list began: "Pour yourself a stiff glass of whiskey and make some fajitas" and continued from there, walking Hallie through the days, months, and years of life after loss, with motherly guidance and support, addressing issues great and small--from choosing a life partner to baking a quiche. The project became a way for mother and daughter to connect with humor, openness, and gratitude. It led to this book.

    Combining Suzy's wit and heartfelt advice with Hallie's quirky and colorful style, What to Do When I'm Gone is the illustrated instruction manual for getting through life without one's mom. It's also a poignant look at loss, love, and taking things one moment at a time. By turns whimsical, funny, touching, and above all pragmatic, it will leave readers laughing and teary-eyed. And it will spur conversations that enrich family members' understanding of one another.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBloomsbury Publishing
    Release dateApr 3, 2018
    ISBN9781632869708
    What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter

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    Reviews for What to Do When I'm Gone

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    • 3/5
      I'm not big on inspirational and self-help books, but I stumbled across this one because I thought it was a graphic novel. It is generously illustrated on each page by the author's daughter and has a few word balloons scattered throughout, but it is mostly told in small blocks of typeset text.I found myself surprised by how much the mother's advice to her daughter aligned with what I would probably tell my own daughter. And it was pretty humorous throughout despite the heavy concept. Though it maybe didn't need so many recipes.
    • 4/5
      A delightful graphic novel about grief, a personal "to-do" list from a mother to a daughter in the event that she passes away. All of these daily suggestions could apply to any parent to their child, or anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one. It's funny, poignant and helpful. The book also brilliantly prepares the child (as they get older) to cope and prepare for their own end of life at the same time as grieving those who have gone before. Recommended.

    Book preview

    What to Do When I'm Gone - Suzy Hopkins

    This book is dedicated to our moms.

    Also by Hallie Bateman

    Brave New Work:

    A Journal to Help You Unleash

    Your Inner Artist

    Love Voltaire Us Apart:

    A Philosopher’s Guide to Relationships

    (illustrator)

    If Our Bodies Could Talk

    (illustrator)

    Contents

    Introduction

    DAY 1: Make fajitas

    DAY 2: Let people in

    DAY 3: Brush the dog

    DAY 4: Write my obituary

    DAY 5: Clean your house

    DAY 6: Visit an all-night diner

    DAY 7: Bury me

    DAY 8: Go Rollerblading

    DAY 12: See a blockbuster movie

    DAY 15: Bake brownies

    DAY 17: Smile and nod

    DAY 18: Throw something

    DAY 21: Take a hike

    DAY 26: Allow me to explain the stuff you found while cleaning out my house

    DAY 45: Say thank you

    DAY 76: Breathe in

    DAY 110: Create a new holiday tradition

    DAY 144: Bake a pecan pie

    DAY 170: Jump on the trampoline

    DAY 231: Celebrate your birthday

    DAY 285: Buy a great pair of shoes

    DAY 320: Stop doing stuff you hate to do

    DAY 365: Make chicken and dumplings

    DAY 400: Replace me

    DAY 450: Look in the mirror and see yourself the way I saw you

    DAY 500: Take a bath

    DAY 550: Make a decision

    DAY 600: Get some perspective

    DAY 650: Cure your heartbreak with curry

    DAY 700: Raise the volume

    DAY 750: Eat chocolate

    DAY 850: Talk to me

    DAY 900: Look up

    DAY 950: Make chili

    DAY 1,000: Take a risk

    DAY 1,500: Have kids

    DAY 1,775: Do drugs

    DAY 1,800: Sing the lullaby I used to sing to you

    DAY 1,900: Make amends

    DAY 2,000: Enjoy this dream

    DAY 2,500: Suffer

    DAY 3,000: Talk to your kids about death

    DAY 3,500: Make beauty

    DAY 4,000: Think of me unexpectedly

    DAY 4,500: Pinch yourself

    DAY 5,000: Go to work

    DAY 5,500: Ask questions

    DAY 6,000: Make a quiche

    DAY 7,000: Prioritize

    DAY 8,000: Redefine happiness

    DAY 9,000: Sharpen your pencil

    DAY 10,000: Take a field trip

    DAY 11,000: Climb out of a rut

    DAY 12,000: Watch a funny movie

    DAY 13,000: Step lively

    DAY 14,000: Make a duck-it list

    DAY 15,000: Drop a crutch

    DAY 17,000: Get a cane

    DAY 18,000: Show compassion

    DAY 20,000: Plan your dream death

    A Note on the Author and the Illustrator

    Acknowledgments

    Introduction

    When I was a kid and fears of death came to me in the night, I’d wake up my mom and she would console me.

    Am I going to die?

    Yes, but not for a long, long, long time.

    Are you going to die?

    Yes, but not for a long, long time.

    As I got older, death entered our casual family discourse. Over dinner, we would engage in the burial-vs.-cremation debate, or my mom would issue one of her decrees: If I ever become a drooling mess, just shoot me. As with most things, joking about death was our way of acknowledging its inevitable presence. We spoke about it in the light of day so that when we faced it later, alone,

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