Prejudice Bones in My Body: Essays on Muslim Racism, Bigotry and Spiritual Abuse

Glossary of Arabic Terms

Allah or Allāh: Arabic term for God

adab: good manners or Islamic etiquette

alhamdulillah: "All praise is due to God alone"

‘awrah: Islamically defined private parts that must be covered in front of others

bi’idhnillaah: "with the help or permission of God"

daleel: Islamic evidence or proof (for something)

da’wah: educating others about Islam

deen: way of life, spiritual path, or religion

du’aa: prayerful supplication

dunya: this worldly or earthly life (as opposed to the Hereafter)

emaan: faith, authentic spirituality, or Islamic belief

fiqh: a scholarly explanation or understanding of an Islamic topic

fitnah: a severe trial or temptation

fitrah: inborn spiritual nature of every human being

ḥadīth or hadith: prophetic statements or actions

halāl or halaal: allowed or permitted

harām or haraam: prohibited or forbidden

ijmaa’: unanimous agreement amongst the Companions of the Prophet and the Muslims and scholars of the earliest generations

inshaaAllah: God-willing

Istikhaarah: formal prayer and supplication performed when making a decision

kaafir: disbeliever in the Islamic faith

khutbah: religious sermon

kibr: sinful pride

kuffaar: plural of "kaafir"

kufr: disbelief in the Islamic faith

mashaAllah or maashaaAllah: "It was God’s will"

niqaab: face veil

riyaa: desiring admiration, praise and recognition from people instead of or in addition to God’s pleasure

Salaah: formal obligatory prayer (performed five times each day)

shirk: assigning divine attributes or God’s sole rights to creation, or assigning creation’s attributes to God; worshipping anything or anyone along with or instead of God

sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam: prayers of peace and blessings (upon the Prophet)

seerah: prophetic history

Shaytaan: Satan; the devil

siraatul-mustaqeem: the right path or straight path of Islamic spirituality

taqleed: blind following

Tawheed: Oneness of God; Islamic monotheism

thowb: Arab robe worn by men as part of their cultural dress

ummah: universal community of Muslims

zakaah: obligatory charity paid to the poor

zeenah: beauty or beautification

For the humble descendants of Adam who embrace their identity as part of the human family, and who seek honor in only that which purifies the soul.

"There lies within the body a piece of flesh. If it is sound, the whole body is sound; and if it is corrupted, the whole body is corrupted.

Verily, it is the heart."

—Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam (Bukhari and Muslim)

"Leave it, it is rotten."

—Hadith on racism, nationalism, and tribalism (Bukhari and Muslim)

dunya.

you can have it

this world

with its endless battles

between red and brown

and black and white—

these senseless wars

waged over

which flesh formed from mud

has more right

than other flesh formed from mud

to this earthly dirt.

—even if.

by Umm Zakiyyah

PART ONE

We’re All Good People,

That’s the Problem

There are no good or bad people in the world, at least not in the absolute sense. There are only sinful people who repent and sinful people who do not repent. It is the presence or absence of repentance that makes a person righteous or corrupt, not the presence or absence of sin.

—from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah

1

Prejudice Bones in My Body

Good, she said so matter-of-factly that I was momentarily confused. Blinking, I held the phone’s receiver as I processed this simple response that held little connection to what I had just said.

It was months after the 9-11 attacks, and I had just shared with my friend my distress over Muslims being unjustly detained and imprisoned on charges of terrorism, an injustice that affected mostly immigrant Muslims.

Now they’ll know how it feels.

I felt weak as the cruelty of her words took meaning. Like myself, my friend had repeatedly encountered the sober reality that dulled any lingering dreams of the universality of Islam. Muslims worldwide were brothers and sisters in Islam, we had been taught, joined by a bond that transcended color, race, and ethnicity. And we’d believed it — until we met those brothers and sisters.

But my friend’s hurt was deeper than mine. While I had grown up Muslim because my parents had accepted Islam the year I was born, my friend had accepted Islam after the tumultuous confusion of disbelief. Part of her inspiration for embracing the religion was its universality — which was an antidote to the colorism and racism that had plagued her life since childhood. She had never imagined that while the universality of Islam was an authentic concept, the universality of Islamic brotherhood was not.

In that brief moment — as I held the phone, shocked at what she’d just said — I felt a host of emotions. Disgust, anger, and helplessness…

For years, my friend had been a mentor and confidante to me. I had admired her self-confidence, her remarkable intelligence, and her persevering strength. She would offer me a shoulder when I was despondent, and a patient, attentive ear when I was distressed. And always it was her optimism, even in the face of adversity, that I cherished most. But we had lost friends along the way, she and I. Some to disbelief, some to betrayal, and some to death…

Good. Now they’ll know how it feels.

At the reminder of her words, I understood the source of my pain.

Now, I had lost her too.

If I Were Rich…

If I were rich, I proclaimed earnestly one day while chatting with my sister, I would give soooo much money to the poor.

My sister nodded heartily in agreement. As we were in our early teens at the time, we were having a difficult time understanding all the rich snobbery in the world. There was plenty of wealth, but somehow there were still starving children, homeless people, and so many who did not have even the small conveniences of life.

And it hurt most that Muslims played a part in this injustice. In our very own hometown, my sister and I regularly witnessed the way affluent Muslims treated others — and how we ourselves were treated time after time. People behaved as if our not being wealthy was something that affected not only our material lifestyle but our personal character or likeability as well. And it didn’t escape us that this mistreatment was most pronounced by wealthy Muslims who did not share our brown skin and Black American status.

People don’t change overnight, someone interjected in response. My sister and I stopped talking and looked up to find our father walking toward us. We hadn’t realized he was in earshot.

If you don’t share what you have right now, he said, you won’t share it when you have more. He explained, If you’re not willing to let your sister wear your new shirt — the example touched on an argument my sister and I had just had earlier that day (I was upset with her for trying to wear my new clothes before I had a chance to) — then don’t think anything’s going to change when you have a lot of money. He paused. The only difference will be that you’ll have a lot more that you’re not willing to share.

It has been more than twenty years since my father spoke these words, and still, they stay with me. His simple insight incited in me a self-reflection that I had never engaged in. Before then, I hadn’t thought of myself as greedy or selfish. I hadn’t imagined that those whose stinginess I resented so thoroughly were merely a mirror image of myself at the time.

Yes, it’s true, I realized that day in silent self-reproach. I was not generous with my new clothes. In fact, I was not particularly generous at all. I’d argue with my sister about my side of the room. I’d taunt my little brothers and sisters just for fun. I’d even neatly tuck away some prized treat for the sole purpose of making sure I’d have it later — when no one else did. If I finished my chores early — oh, you better believe it! — I’d jump into my cozy bed and enjoy the fact that my sister couldn’t do the same!

If I were rich, I would give soooo much money to the poor.

My heartfelt proclamation returned to me as I settled under my covers for the night, and for some reason they didn’t seem so heartfelt anymore…

It’s not their fault that they’re rich, someone had said once. Just like you can’t blame someone for being poor, you can’t blame someone for being rich.

And these words gave me pause. So often I’d reflected pensively on the injustices inflicted on those who were underprivileged or poor (and, certainly, the injustices toward them were plenty), but I didn’t think of the injustices I may have inflicted upon those of privilege and wealth — even if my injustice would never reach them in any tangible fashion.

But the truth is, I realized sadly one day, we are all guilty of injustice. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we judge each other harshly, paint sweeping generalizations of the other, and keep our distance from those we view as too different. Yet, amazingly, we become frustrated and even perplexed by all the injustice in the world…

Self-Proclaimed Prejudice-Free

I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body, I often hear my fellow Muslims say—with the same heartfelt earnestness that I’d proclaimed my generosity so many years ago.

Now, when I hear these words (that I’m sure I myself have uttered on many an occasion), my heart falls in sadness, and I grow pensive. Then we have no hope at all, I reflect.

I just can’t imagine how the Muslim ummah, let alone the world at large, will ever work to end classism and racism — and injustice itself — if we don’t openly and honestly acknowledge the magnitude of the job before us.

Yes, so many of us eagerly proclaim, Our job is never done. But we somehow imagine this ever-unfinished job is out there somewhere — and not inside our own hearts and souls. Yet, in truth, if there is any fight against injustice that is never done, it doesn’t have roots in an elusive corrupt world. Corruption does not sprout from the dirt of the earth; it sprouts from the dirt of our own souls.

And like so many evils around us (and within us), those of bigotry are continued most destructively by those who imagine they have within them no bigotry at all.

Allāh says what has been translated to mean,

"And when it is said to them, ‘Make not mischief on the earth,’ they say, ‘We are only peacemakers.’ Verily! They are the ones who make mischief, but they perceive not."