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Politically Derelict, Vol. 2

Politically Derelict, Vol. 2

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Politically Derelict, Vol. 2

Lunghezza:
157 pagine
2 ore
Pubblicato:
Jan 17, 2018
ISBN:
9781370224494
Formato:
Libro

Descrizione

A sequel to "Politically Derelict" (2016), this is a humorous take on Social Media, politics and online Americana in the 21st Century Cyberwhirl. The curious creatures of the Swampy Black Lagoon in the post-Donald Trump election of November 2016 are deftly skewered with style and meant to entertain Political Derelicts everywhere. Using the actual postings of Democrats sucking on the binky of defeat and the triumphant words of Hillary Clinton's "Deplorables," this book examines the strange, slightly-exotic and funny musings of a country in transition.

Pubblicato:
Jan 17, 2018
ISBN:
9781370224494
Formato:
Libro

Informazioni sull'autore

I am a retired US Army Captain, journalist and writer. I have published one novel (Wahoo Dan) and two books of Political Satire and Humor (see this page). I write clean books for a general readership. I DO NOT write about werewolves, vampires, zombies or unicorns. My interests in writing include non-fiction on current events and politics as well as historical and contemporary fiction. I lived in Europe for 15 years, which gave me a world view of politics, history and people. A second novel, "The Perfect Glitch" has a publication date of October 1, 2018.


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Politically Derelict, Vol. 2 - Gerald A. Loeb

This is a work of fiction.

Politically Derelict, Vol. 2

By Gerald A. Loeb

Copyright 2018

ISBN:

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to createspace.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Credits

Introduction

Chapter One: Facebook Fallout

Chapter Two: LibTards in Love with Themselves

Chapter Three: Mumblings and Musings

Chapter Four: Sucking on the Binky of Defeat

Chapter Five: LibTard Hell

Chapter Six: Facebook Frauleins on the Seduction Line (Redux)

Chapter Seven: Fail-A-Delic

Chapter Eight: Mob Rule 3.0

Chapter Nine: Damaged Goods in the ‘Hood

Chapter Ten: Songs for the Terminally Jaded

Chapter Eleven: Immigration Matters

Chapter Twelve: Triggered in the USA

Chapter Thirteen: The APE Manifesto

Chapter Fourteen: Geraldo Lopez says:

Chapter Fifteen: The Hillary Hooscow Diary

Chapter Sixteen: And the Winner is…

Chapter Seventeen: Politically Derelict Conclusion

About The Author

Credits

The author wishes to profoundly thank the following folks for making this work possible:

Author and graphic designer Joshua Peck, whose art graces the cover of this book;

These fine Facebook friends and supporters:

Steve Fernandez, Bonnie Sitaras, Julius Pulley, Allen Mercer, Dave Tomporowski, Norma Arrendo Espinoza, Ingo Rentzing, Don Vance, Donna Iacono Crowley, Thomas Alfred, Sharon Atkinson, Ole Man, Lara Ce, Bruce Flora, Joe Gormand, Will Jowers, author JL Callison, Billy Hall, Possum Politics, The Deplorables, Sayed Munir, Vicky Brito Shupe, Jerry Morgan, Pamela Lee, Yolie Diaz, Zeb Injailagain Sherman, John Marks, Sharon Marks, Joel Orlando, Vince Miller, author Dan Butterfield, Jerry L. Moody, Brian Broussard, Barbara Dejean, Brandon Gunnip, Mitchell Grimes, Irv Patel, Gerald K. Loeb, author Tish Moscow, Andrew Baer, Annette Patterson, Judy Finch, Kirk Kokal, Deborah Vogel, Chell Daniels, Tom Seward, Tom Pickering, Peggy Hubbard, William Sanders, Joe Burwocky, Adele Khais, Mustafa Snackbar, Dallas Henderson, Derek Martin, Bev Richards, Peter Littman, Thomas Beddoes, Shirley Pilleri, Judy Key, Russell Shupe, Cynthia Rayborn Rich, Patrick Perry, Kathleen Hastings, Phyllis Ann Bartholomew, Linda Vidal, Dale E. Linn, Janet Taft, Da Shifu John Stein, Jen Bean, Beverly Golato, Jenny Brown, Sandra Timler, Frederic Maloof, Jerry O’Brien, Eric Schmidt, Sofia Eleni, Barry Kramer, Bill Osborn, Wayne Ragland, Ronald Pibble, Durrell C. Stoner, Todd Blair, Bill Brown, Roger Dent, Mary Miller, Larry Popejoy, Pamela Hannan Anderson, John Metcalfe, Gary Bacchus, Gojko Kasich, Maxim Opus, Wlliam Blandford, Paul Grimm, John Stenes, Juno Copely, Douglas Hardison, Alan Lambeth, Rich Tanner, G. David Hawkins, Jim Owens, Benjamin Napier, Vic Jordan, Chuck Parker, Glen Posner, Steven Lawson, Robin Henderson Aristides, Perry Wright, Mike Domansky, Rich Taylor, Greg Bloom, Michael DiGugliemo, Clint Holt, Kenneth Horan, Ralph Merryman, T. Lee Horne III, Larry Whiteman, Larrine Pannhof, Paul Freeman, Adele Braun, Melissa Votano, Ronald Stanek, Ruth Ann Clyde, Terry L. Spade, Casey Maroney, Todd Zaino, Samantha Caine, Peter Robinson, Steven Wayne Fromby, Woody Highsmith, Chris Mikula, Dave Otis, QueenBe Monya, Mavie Gordon, Ree Brewster, Grady Burchett, Lius O. Rodriquez, Tom Turner, Paul A. Welch, Richard Walker, John Guthrie, Coy Cobb, Terry Schnee, Bill Freeman, Kat Bates, Molly Freeland, Gregory Dupette, Rich Kozlowski, Sr., Aurele Doiron and Patches the Wonder Dog.

I also wish to thank the various LibSmugs, LibTards, LibSmurfs, LibNutz and CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC Kooko Birds and all the fake news crazies on the Cyberwhirl who provided so much free material on a daily basis. A special shout-out goes to disgraced journalist Charlie Rose, who proved one simple thing: one of the biggest LibSmugs on Planet Earth can also be a huge hypocrite and pervert.

Gerald A. Loeb

(January 2, 2018)

Introduction

On May 2, 2016, while nursing a half-cold coffee at a McDonald’s at seven-thirty a.m., I heard the sounds of passionate but polite argument emanating from three tables to my right. In those plastic hard-back chairs sat three older men. They had coffee cups in their hands and politics on their minds that morning.

That’s nuts. Trump won’t win the nomination, stated one stern-faced gent with a baseball cap on his bald head. My money is on Cruz in a convention fight.

It doesn’t matter. Hillary will beat whoever you Republicans nominate. You watch. The man making this bold prediction was slim with a weather-beaten face of one who spent many hours in the New Mexico weather. He dropped his empty coffee cup on the table with a soft but emphatic thud.

Yeah, buddy. Watch Trump. He’s gonna beat both of your candidates, a man-mountain type gruffly answered. The men were silent for a moment but each shook his head slowly in quiet but assertive disagreement.

I listened to them for a few minutes. These men were obviously friends who disagreed about the politics of this election but much like guys talking about a football game and the merits of a team or quarterback, each spoke quietly but passionately about this important event.

Fascinated, I listened a little more. Next to me sat three men with differing opinions and even with the importance of this election managed to stay somewhat civil in that McDonald’s dining room.

I wondered what name could be give to such discussion. I pondered the term Politically Insurrect but realized that tag wouldn’t fit at all. Then I had a lightning bolt slash through my cerebral cortex: Politically Derelict. Perfect.

So, I went back to my rabbit hutch of an apartment and started writing the predecessor to this work. The reason why that title stuck in my head was simple: both sides were talking emotions and not facts. They had a feeling and they were content to go with that opinion, facts and history are damned!

For that book, Facebook and social media such as Twitter and Instagram were analyzed for the moods of the almost 200-million potential voters. In the Cyberwhirl of the 21st Century, opinions sprouted everywhere and on all sides of the political spectrometer; the Conservatives insisted that only one of their own could save the country after seven years of the turbulent presidency of Barack Hussein Obama. The Left countered with maintaining his legacy at all costs, even though common sense said otherwise.

Mashed into this political drainpipe was the looming presence of Bernie Sanders, a US Senator from Vermont who used Saul Alinsky verbiage to shill for open Socialism. Historically, he was the first serious candidate since Eugene V. Debs in the early 1900’s to try that tactic. But so far it was working because the Democratic frontrunner and putative next president, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, was running scared even with a comfortable lead in her second bid to become the first female Chief Executive.

It was a maniac madhouse that summer and fall, as members of each party flailed at each other with a

lot of hyperbole, lies and even penis jokes. Yes, penis jokes. And those were just the Republicans! The always reliable crazy Democrats countered with a verbal tornado of their own. (Their chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, resigned over an email scandal on the eve of the convention because of email weirdness) and even after their convention wrapped in late July, were still sniping at each other through their buddies in the LibSmug press.

It was a great time to be a political pundit and social misfit as this all unfolded.

Nine weeks later, I finished Politically Derelict. It was published on September 18, 2016, just a scant seven weeks before the General Election. In that work, alternate realities were offered, puns abounded in clusters, and the actual words of the impassioned throngs were used to draw a sketch of America’s darkest feelings and thoughts.

In this follow-up work, the aftermath of this vital pivot point in our history is offered a year after the fact. The winners and losers made themselves heard very clearly and at times viciously in their words of intense disagreement. Riots in four cities were sparked not by race or poverty, not by the haves against the have-nots, but by a curious mix of right-wing groups opposed by violent, unreasonable and openly hostile counter protestors.

In this part of our history, a little humor and wry observations can be a road to understanding the times we live in. I hope as the author of this book, Politically Derelict, Vol. 2 is just that kind of tonic to drench the more inane angels of our souls in laughter. We all could use a beefy dose of that elixir right now.

(Product Warning: Consumption of hot liquids while reading this book may be hazardous to the reader. The Author is not responsible for any injuries due to sudden fits of laughter. My lawyer told me to write that.)

Gerald A. Loeb

(August 26, 2017)

*****

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.

(Andy Warhol, 1967)

*****

Snapping is like gravity. Sometimes it takes a little push.

(Allen Mercer)

*****

There’s nothing a cockroach hates more than a light switch.

(Brandon Gunnip)

*****

Part of genius is the anticipation of high achievement tempered with great sadness.

(The Author)

Chapter One: Facebook Fallout

(Author’s Note: The words written in this book taken from real Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts; the names are changed to protect the truly stupid.)

*****

Beware of David Kook-Bones. He is a 77-year-old Canadian nutjob who really believes millions of people killed by Adolf and the Blackboots never happened, aliens control climate change (LOL), and world governments are trying to kill everyone and steal their money.

The Ramblin’ Wreck from Quebec called me earlier on PM Messenger today and ranted on for 37 minutes.

Maybe I should branch out from writing books and sell Nutella with a whole different kind of nut: Canuck Crazy.

*****

On August 26, 2017, Hurricane Harvey hit southern Texas with a vengeance.

The Texas Flood from Hurricane Harvey revealed the real mettle of the Lone Star State. In America’s third-largest city, two feet of rain hit the Houston area with a vengeance. Rather than wait for FEMA or the state to react, the Famous Cajun Fleet, ordinary Texans and first responders saved countless lives in an attempt to return to normalcy.

After the twin Hurricanes Katrina and Rita decimated New Orleans, Biloxi, Mississippi, Shreveport, Louisiana and Galveston, Texas in September 2005, the lessons learned from that disaster were not lost upon the stout Texans.

Texas, the eyes of the world are upon you and our prayers are legion.

*****

(This was written on a LibTard site after Hurricane Harvey

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