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    Marriage Is Under Fire: Don’t Stop Firing Back!
    Marriage Is Under Fire: Don’t Stop Firing Back!
    Marriage Is Under Fire: Don’t Stop Firing Back!
    Ebook126 pages2 hours

    Marriage Is Under Fire: Don’t Stop Firing Back!

    By Joan James

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    About this ebook

    “Marriage is Under Fire – Don’t Stop Firing Back!” gives an in-depth look at the covenant relationship of marriage and the missiles that are being fired against it. These campaigns launched against marriage are intended to desecrate, re-define it from God’s true intended purpose and to destroy the sanctity thereof. It gives the biblical perspective of marriage and exposes the tactical approaches used in these attacks.
    This manuscript unravels God’s principles and purposes for marriage. Here I have highlighted the following:
    -Analogy between the love that God has for His church and that which a man should have for his wife.
    -Marriage is deeply embedded in love, sacrifice and commitment.
    -Necessary tools to foster positive behavioral changes towards the sanctity of marriage by God’s design.
    -How to render the full honor that is due to this sacred covenant.
    Marriage is a Covenant and not a contract.
    God built marriage on an unshakable and incorruptible foundation.
    If your marriage is currently under fire and you are almost at your breaking point, take heart, gird up the loins of your mind with truth for help has arrived. Also, if you are planning to get married and are somehow bewildered and left in a quandary because of the alarming divorce statistics, God’s words are timeless and potent enough to keep you from falling or failing.
    This book will revolutionize your thinking, as well as empower and catapult you into action to ensure that your marriage passes God’s fitness test. Here are some important questions for you to focus on:
    -What is God’s stance on marriage?
    -Is your marriage in shape and is able to pass God’s fitness test?
    -How can you restore the honor and sanctity that is due to your marriage?
    - Is Sex and Intimacy a taboo in your marriage or is it an integral part of your marriage as God intended for it to be?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJoan James
    Release dateMar 16, 2017
    ISBN9780995805521
    Marriage Is Under Fire: Don’t Stop Firing Back!
    Author

    Joan James

    Joan M. James has also single-handedly written and successfully self-published a well sought-after book, entitled Marriage Is Under Fire – Don’t Stop Firing Back! This is instrumental in inspiring and empowering different individuals around the globe to have a richer and more meaningful relationship leading to marriage and those already in this covenant relationship. The topic not only covers those who are married, but also those who are desirous of getting married, and those who were married but their marital train has been derailed along the way.This book also educates others on how to restore and embrace the sanctity of this sacred covenant, by God’s design and that marriage is deeply embedded in love, sacrifice and commitment. It also seeks to bring about an awakening of the type of love that a man should have for his wife, i.e. one that is synonymous with the love that God has for His church. (Ephesians 5:25 says love that Christ has for his Church).In addition, in that book, Joan gave from a biblical perspective the principles surrounding marriage and exposes some of the tactical approaches which are being used in these attacks against marriage.Her e-book is globally available on various platforms, namely Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Kobo, Smash words, and Indigo/Chapters. Also, at her website, you can obtain both her e-book and physical copies at http://www.joanmjames.com/Email: info@joanmjames.comTelephone: 647-723-2053 or 289-769-0339Joan is also the author of the book, “Forgiveness – A Tool That Unlocks God’s Favor,” in which she unravels the different components of the act of forgiveness, gives a clear explanation of forgiveness as a divine work of God that empowers us to release our enemies. She discusses the types of forgiveness and gives some valuable steps on releasing our enemies.She has also just completed another book and the title is "Mental Health And Mental Illness." Some of the areas covered in this book are as follows:a. An insightful look at the Aftermath of Covid19b. Differences between Mental Health and Mental Illnessc. Major contributing factors to Poor Mental Health And Mental Illnessd. Mindfulness & Resiliencye. Proper Self-Care, especially during Covid19f. The devastating effects of stress upon the bodyIn addition, she continuously writes inspiring and empowering blogs on her webpage and coaches other potential authors on “How to Write a powerful book and be Self-publishing.” She is quite passionate about helping to transform, empower and catapult individuals, especially women into their God-given destiny. Therefore, fulfilling their true purpose in life.She tends to draw on her experiences and insights when offering spiritual and practical guidelines on these subject matters. Hence, in addressing the notion of Forgiveness, specifically, she is well qualified. Personally, she has been through some major devastating storms in her life that could have become tragic. These storms are inclusive of major deceptions, resulting in much pain and scars – emotionally, psychologically, physical etc.Despite her devastating experiences, she did not develop a victim’s mentality nor did she allow her place of pain and brokenness to become her parking spot. Instead, she chose to release her enemies, adhered to God’s mandate to forgive, and rose above these traumatizing circumstances. Indeed, her faith kept her going and she is an overcomer through supernatural enablement. Now she is experiencing the fruits of her obedience and God’s favors in her life. She did not become bitter, but better instead. Joan also plays an important part in the lives of many who are broken since she possesses great inner strength. She is also an admirable woman whose very life answers the question from Proverbs 31: 10 “Who can find a virtuous woman, whose price is far above rubies?” The response to that question is definitely Joan M. James, without a doubt!Joan James was featured twice in the Destiny Magazine, “Leadership” Summer 2017: page 21 for the launching her book “Marriage Is Under Fire – Don’t Stop Firing Back!” Also, in the summer 2018 issue of this well recognized magazine, on pages 20 – 21, when she spoke in an interview about “The Strengthening of Marriage and how to counteract the current moral decay of the same, in today’s society.”She was also featured on a live Studio Program out of the San Souci Studio in Brooklyn, New York on September 2020 in an interview where she spoke extensively on Mental Health, Mental Illness and about her other books and current projects. Joan was also interviewed live on air by Streaming Praise Radio on October 2020. The focus of this interview was mainly on Mental Health, Mental Illness and Marriage. These are some of the topical subjects covered in some of her books.In addition, Joan James holds credentials in Technical Education from the University of Technology, Jamaica, and Legal Secretary training from Humber College, Toronto, Canada. She also attended York University in Toronto, Canada. Joan holds a BA in Psychology. She also attended the Ontario Psychotherapy and Counseling Association in Toronto, where she did some studies in Long-Term Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. She continues her studies in her quest to become a licensed and registered Psychotherapist (encompassing Family and Marriage Counseling). Joan also holds credentials in Mindset Coaching. Joan currently works in the Department of Social Services and have been for over twenty (20) years.She currently resides in Canada and has two beautiful daughters and one granddaughter. Joan James is available for bookings on marriage, relationships, life-skills and empowerment sessions at seminars, conferences, singles and married groups, churches and other community groups (see contact details below).Website: http://www.joanmjames.com/Email: info@joanmjames.comTelephone Number: 647-723-2053 or 289-769-0339Twitter: Joan James@JoanJam41470460Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jmjlifelessonsLinked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/may-james-88037512aInstagram: @joan.james.777Tumblr: joanmjames.tumblrNB. A new launch date will be established for these two books, soona. Mental Health And Mental Illnessb. Forgiveness - A ToolThat Unlocks God's FavorJoan has many more books to be published in the foreseeable future and continues to write, as inspired.Most importantly, Joan is a woman of faith for over 30 years.

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      Book preview

      Marriage Is Under Fire - Joan James

      FOREWORD

      INTRODUCTION

      The contents of this book may be considered explosive to some, so fasten your seatbelt for a truthful ride. As you journey through the pages of this book and its contents, you may experience some discomforts and may need to make changes in your approach to this covenant relationship. It will cause you to re-examine what you thought you knew about the covenant of marriage and its sanctity. It may propel you into making the necessary adjustments for a more fruitful union.

      God specifically stipulated for us in Exodus 20:14 that marriage is indeed sanctified and should be upheld as such. Sex and marriage are held in high esteem in the Scriptures, and have been sanctified by God. In the book of Genesis, the first marriage was conducted after God made man and saw that he was lonely. He also saw that it was not good for him to be alone, therefore he formed woman. After He formed woman from the rib of the man, God then brought the woman to the man. This is clearly indicating the fact that God’s intent for marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. A man and a woman were only brought together in marriage, the sacred union. Oh, what a beautiful thing this is meant to be. However, it is not regarded this way by many people today.

      From a biblical standpoint, it is proven that one of the primary purposes of marriage is companionship. God provided the solution to man’s loneliness by forming woman. Another purpose for which marriage was designed is the procreation of the human race. Marriage was also meant to prevent fornication. That is why the Bible clearly stipulates that a woman should have her own husband, and a man should not envy his neighbour’s wife (1 Corinthians 7:2; Exodus 20:17). Simply put, get and take care of your own spouse. Don’t allow your neighbour’s grass to be greener than yours, and don’t allow yourself to envy your neighbour’s grass. If this is the case, there is a maintenance issue. The solution is simple—go and water your own grass so that it can be greener than your neighbour’s, or just as green.

      Last, but not least, is the issue of leaving and cleaving and becoming one flesh.  Ultimately, marriage is designed to bring God glory. It is a portrait that mirrors God’s love and commitment to His Church. He loves His Church so much that He gave His life for it. The Church in turn must love God and submit herself to Him. He is the Bridegroom and the Church is His Bride. Similarly, as God is the Bridegroom of His Church, the husband is the bridegroom in a marriage. He should love his wife likewise. The wife, like the Church to Jesus Christ, should submit herself to her husband. This involves intimacy between a man and his wife, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Their two hearts should beat as one; two flesh becoming one.

      Currently, the sanctity due to marriage is totally being disregarded. Instead, cohabitation without marriage is being embraced by many in our society. This sacred covenant is being desecrated, over and over, without any remorse by many. It is being fired on immensely.  

      This book is intended to revolutionize your thinking about the honour that must be given to marriage. This union is indeed under intense fire, but endeavour to keep firing back. The war to destroy marriage will not be victorious. This sinister plot is meant to redefine marriage, to divert it from God’s intended purpose, and to ultimately destroy this union. Let us all pledge before God to win this fight for our marriages, so that God can be glorified. To those who have already been embracing the sanctity of marriage, I encourage you to continue doing so. This is God’s will.

      This book is about the covenant relationship of marriage and the missiles that are being launched against it. It specifically speaks about the campaigns orchestrated against marriage to desecrate its sanctity. Keen attention is given to explaining what God's purposes for marriage are. These purposes include procreation, companionship, and a man leaving and cleaving to his wife to become one flesh. Couples are implored to flee fornication and adultery, as this union models and portrays the true love that God has for His Church.  

      I endeavoured to highlight some vital points for those who are planning to embark on this lifelong and rewarding journey, as well as those who are already married. Emphasis is placed on three foundational features of this covenant relationship, namely love, trust, and reciprocity (give and take). Each feature is looked at in-depth.

      Due consideration is given to the different missiles that have been launched against marriage to destroy it. These are as follows:  

      Efforts to redefine marriage against what God intends for it to be,in that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. Itis shown in Scriptures that from the foundation of the earth, God performed the first marriage between a man and a woman. This is the example that we should follow.

      Adultery and fornication are dealt with thoroughly, because these are very common fires that marriage is under. This has reached crisis proportions.

      Self-centeredness and selfishness are taking centre stage in manymarriages. Spouses are not caring for each other as they should.

      The sanctity of marriage is given great attention and lots oftime is spent on dealing with the threats against it, as well as the restoration and maintenance of this holy estate.

      Sex and intimacy as designed by God are fully explored. I offermuch insight onthe restoration of this vital component of marriage.

      Abuses in marriage could not be overlooked. Abuse is taking place at an alarming rate. This comes in many forms, including physical, verbal, psychological, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse. Each is looked at separately and fully.

      Divorce—Some of the other fires mentioned here arereduced inclination toprocreate, the unprecedented high rate of divorce, women’s liberation, and chauvinism.

      In order to win the fight for our marriages, we should not stop fighting back, because if we quit, we will never win. It is imperative that I highlight some of the ways in which we should fire back and the necessary tools needed to fight back.

      Have the agape or God type of love for your spouse

      Reintroduce love, trust, and reciprocity

      Embrace differences in yourspouse

      Try not to compete, but to complete each other

      Rid your marriage of selfishness

      The damages of unforgiveness and its devastating effects on marriage are greatly expounded. Special emphasis is also placed on the root of bitterness and its effects. Attempts are made to highlight some of the major reasons for unforgiveness, including pride, ignorance, lack of trust in other people, and self-reliance, as opposed to trusting God.

      I encourage my readers to appreciate, restore, and maintain the sanctity of marriage. Words of caution are also given to men and women who want to be married, are already married, and are soon-to-be married.

      CHAPTER 1

      The DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE

      We are living in a time when the definition and sanctity of marriage seem to be changing in society, but it remains unchanged in the Word of God. The sanctity of this binding covenant has been seriously desecrated. There is also a cultural distortion of the same.  However, marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. God’s Word cannot be made irrelevant. Marriage is the oneness of a man and a woman, whereby the man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. In other words, the married couple should be cemented together with permanency. It is meant to be for life. You might call it ancient, if you will, but God is in fact the Ancient of Days, yet His words are from everlasting to everlasting. The definition of marriage does not change, neither with the times nor the seasons.

      This is, in fact, a covenant that is divinely instituted by God Himself, from the beginning of creation. Marriage is God’s design and is glorious and honourable. It is the act whereby a man and a woman enter this sacred covenant, without reservation. The objective here should be to offer oneself sacrificially in love to his or her spouse. It is also a bond between a man and a woman that is uniquely designed to last for life, except in the case of infidelity, which is sexual unfaithfulness. Marriage is where the hearts, minds, and bodies of the wife and husband are cemented together in a covenant relationship.

      Marriage is a special kind of relationship that bears deep parallels between a wedding here on Earth and the relationship that exists between Christ and His Church. Also, it portrays the plan of salvation, whereby we confess Christ as Lord and then accept Him as our Saviour.  After this, we become married to Him.   Marriage should not be entered into lightly.  

      Matthew 5:31-32 clearly stipulates that a marriage should only be severed in the case of sexual immorality. Sexual immorality assassinates the very fabric of this holy covenant relationship and totally demonizes its sanctity. It also negatively infringes on the elements of trust and intimacy that form the very backbone of a marriage.

      I want to take the time here

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