Flight Times: Cruising Altitude

FLIGHT TIMES:

Cruising Altitude

by Porter Lafayette

2017

Copyright @ 1998 / 2017 Porter Lafayette

Flight Times Series Txu 847-087

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Smashwords, inc.

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Los Gatos, CA 95032

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Flight Times Series:

Prepared for Departure, Cruising Altitude,

Final Descent and Fume Event

Park, Stan 1998

Lafayette, Porter 2017

LGBTQ, Gay, Aviation Travel, Non Fiction Memoir

Paranormal, Adult Content Disclaimer

Editor: BRLV Editing Services

ISBN 10: 1981681809978

ISBN 13: 9781981681808

Table of Contents:

*(Preface)

VOL II CRUISING ALTITUDE

Chapter 7 UNIVERSAL AIRLINES (Part 1)

Twist of Fate

Barbie Boot Camp

Losing One of our Own: A Dedication to Joy

One Big Happy Family in NYC

DC-10 Death Cruiser Debacle

Anchorman

Chapter 8 UNIVERSAL AIRLINES (Part 2)

Celebrity Stories

The Divine Miss M

Dodged the Versace Bullet

Black House

Reverend Moon

Somewhere over the Rainbow

Golden Gate Park

Mommie Dearest in Crisis

Donna Karan Cleansing Mask

Mississippi Burning

French Love Connection

Chapter 9 SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Lizzy Borden Comes to Town

A Fallen Angel

Our Lives would never be the same

Picking up the pieces

Jeffrey the Watcher

Sabotaged on the Runway

Father’s Farewell on the Cruise Ship

Just a Private Dancer

There’s no place like home

Chapter 10 WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING

One Twisted Sister

Flying with Bubbles

The Spanish Matador

Disaster over the Atlantic

Aerotoxic Syndrome

Catecholamine Mediated Myocarditis

Cabin Air Safety Act Legislation

Cabin Air Quality Bill Petition

An Open Letter to Aviation

Asbestos of the Airline Industry

*(Epilogue)

Preface:

We now pick up our story where Festival Airlines was being sold and the group of friends were moving on with their prospective new airlines. Stan was feeling very sad since Pully would no longer be able to follow him this time. It was announced in the end of Prepared for Departure that she was now with child. They encountered the spiritual psychic medium Loosie. Many of her predictions had already come to pass while others were still to come.

This group of friends have new challenges ahead in Cruising Altitude as their industry and the world around them begins to change, as they move into a new decade of aviation. Stan starts his new adventure at Universal Airlines. Spitzy begins his new life at Nation Air. Pully struggles with leaving aviation behind altogether and embarks into unchartered territory as a new mom. She is not married and is due to give birth shortly. We find out that husband Marlon is a man with many dark secrets, which will be revealed during this time. Stan goes through the 5 year romantic drought and is about to fulfill one of Lossie’s final predictions, when a new long term romance comes into the picture.

The new decade is upon them and the late 90’s and early 2000’s hold just as much drama, intrigue and surprises as the previous years. It is now time to recline your seat, sit back, relax and enjoy this part of our trip as we have now reached our Cruising Altitude.

UNIVERSAL AIRLINES (Part 1)

Chapter 7

Twist of Fate

This was my last month at Festival Airlines and everyone else was firming up their exit strategies. It was on one of our last layovers in LA, that interviews were held across the street from our hotel. Myself, Carlo and Lacy all headed over to the Open House for Universal Airlines. The competition was fierce and word on the street was, that they could be extremely picky for that hiring season. They were pushing for flight attendants that had 4-year college degrees and Berlitz level 6 abilities in an additional foreign language. I told Carlo, You are a native Portuguese speaker so you are a shoe in. Lacy was trying for the French and I was shooting for Spanish. We walked into the cattle call and it looked like a nerd convention. Everyone in the room was an Asian Mensa member who spoke 3 languages each. I told Lacy, When they break, then let’s get out of here. Carlo is the only one of us who has a real chance. Let’s just leave him here and we should just go. My limited Spanish and your limited French are not gonna cut it. She agreed so after the first hour of the roadshow they had the break and we bolted. We had just gotten halfway out the door, when all of a sudden this perky blonde Debbie Gibson type came running after us.

She asked us, Where are you guys going? You both were my two favorites in that whole room. Please don’t go. I replied, They all have 3 languages and bachelor degrees; we don’t. She said, "I will be recommending both of you, so just practice till the interview. Hey, this is off the record but I wanna clue you guys in. We have done a large international expansion over the years and did a ton of diversity hiring for Asian and Latin America markets. We went a bit overboard to the point that our Million Mile Frequent Flyers have spoken.

They are completely disgusted that we don’t even hardly have any all American types on our planes anymore and nobody even looks like them. The businessmen can’t understand the native accents of all the international flight attendants we’ve hired over the years. We have been told that we better have some native born Americans in this next class or else. Universal only cares about keeping their million mile flyers happy."

So we are now on a big push for the apple pie types right now, that have language skills since we haven’t been hiring that for a really long time. You both fit the bill of exactly what we are looking for looks wise but now we just have to get you both past the language part somehow. The rest of that room is all full of what we already have a ton of at the airline now, which our highest paying passengers are no longer looking to see. So please trust me on this and just go to Chicago and see what happens.

We reluctantly agreed and both of us got called back to the one on one in Chicago. They were also doing on the spot language testing for Berlitz level 6 competency. As we sat there, we watched one after another leave the testing rooms crying on their way out the door. Carlo didn’t even make it that far and he was a native speaker in Portuguese. This just goes to show, how random and subjective all this selection process was and still is today.

There were only 3 of us left. A pretty blonde apple pie looking girl from the midwest who was there to be tested for German. Lacy the southern belle from Tennessee was there for French and I was there as the small town Georgia boy for Spanish. The French lady interviewer Sofia just ate Lacy for lunch. Lacy came out and said, It didn’t go well and I won’t be going to the next phase. She turned on her phone to book her nonrev flight back home to Florida. It was buzzing with one voicemail. Lacy played it and the message was from Southland Airlines in Atlanta. Lacy replied, OMG I just got Southland, I guess when one door closes a window opens. Good luck in there, I will see you back in Florida. She gave me a hug and then left on the shuttle back to the airport.

It was now down to only myself and the German girl named Helena remaining. We both sat and watched a parade of people coming out one after the other in tears, because their dreams were being crushed during heartless and evil language testing. The French woman Sofia and the Spanish one Raina were known to be just heartless and extremely nasty. Especially to anyone that wasn’t a Berlitz 6 with a perfect French Parisian enunciation or a perfect Spanish with Castilian enunciation.

Sofia came out and said, Guten Tag Helena. Sprechen sie Deutsch? You are next, come with me. Now it was just me all alone in the large waiting room at Universal World Headquarters. I just felt ill and started feeling completely hopeless. The airport shuttle had pulled up outside, so I felt like just jumping on it and forgetting the whole thing. To save myself the pending torture, embarrassment and humiliation. I thought, what was I even doing there? Who was I kidding?

Now it was my turn and this is where a Guardian Angel clearly stepped in and created a totally unexpected Twist of Fate. I then became a firm believer on that day about destiny. Even when all the cards are aligned in your favor, you may still not get something since it was not your destiny by the powers that be. While other times no cards are aligned, none of it makes sense, there is no way something should happen for you; then it suddenly does. It all comes about much like how an airplane flies, known as PFM or Pure Fucking Magic. This just magically comes about like Moses parting the Red Sea and a Divine intervention occurs. Some call it God, others call it a manifestation of the Universe, Guardian Angels or a stroke of good luck etc. Whatever you wanna call it, this was about to take place this morning. The heavens just opened up and smiled upon me that day since it was meant to be. I cannot explain these events any other way.

This is where the completely bizarre chain of mishaps went into action. I started feeling super anxious and just wanted to get the hell out of there. The airport shuttle had just arrived and I felt that this was my way out. I gathered up my luggage and headed out the door to leave.

The driver came out, picked up my bag and put it in the van. He then went to turn the key in the ignition and the engine would not start. It could have been either a dead battery or something with the ignition switch. So, I took my bag off the van and went back inside to call a taxi. As I was on my phone waiting on hold I saw Raina the evil, and notorious, Spanish language tester grab her purse. She proceeded to run out the door right past me looking upset and frantic. It turned out that her son had just been involved in a car accident and was now in the hospital.

Next, an HR lady comes out and apologizes to me. She said, Are you Mr. Stan Park? I replied, Yes that is me. She said, I am so sorry, Raina just had an unexpected family emergency so she will not be able to test you today. They are looking for someone else to stand in for her to test you. It will be just a moment so do not go anywhere. I replied, Okay, besides I have no choice, the airport shuttle is broken and I can’t seem to get a taxi either. So I will just wait. I thought, what the hell at this point. A sudden calm just came over me for some reason. Evil Raina was now gone and if I fail with the other person then so be it. Maybe it would be someone nicer and less intimidating than she was known for being. Another lady appeared at the doorway and said, Stan Park, come with me. She was older but beautiful, sharply dressed with this very pleasant and calm demeanor. I kep noticing her giving me this almost coy, knowing and loving smile. It just hit me as very strange, comforting and almost familiar all at the same time. I was walked back into her private office. She peeked around the halls and then closed the door. It felt as if she was going to tell me a secret or something. Her demeanor was quiet, covert and whispering voice seemed a bit odd as well.

She was wearing some smart reading glasses down on the end of her nose, as she was perusing my resume. There was brief chuckle with a big smile as she removed her glasses and placed them on the desk. After this, she began to lean over the desk and said, Don’t you recognize me? Do I not look familiar to you? I replied, Yes in a way, but I thought it was just my imagination.

You feel familiar in a good way but not really sure why or how. She replied, Well, I should since I was a supervisor at Coastal for your first year on the job. I replied, OMG, you are Betty Ann Walker. Your hair was darker and your name now say’s Parsons. She smiled and said, Yeah, the hair color has changed and I'm married now. Stan, I remember you had a good basic concept of Spanish on the flights. However, you were definitely not a Berlitz 6 and you never held a language qualification at Coastal. I replied, Yeah, I know Betty Ann. I don’t even know why I am here. Some perky Debbie Gibson recruiter from the corn belt insisted that I just show up and see what happens.

Betty says, Look honey, us Coastal people have to stick together. We always have and we always will. So here are the 12 Spanish questions that will be used for an over the phone Spanish qualification interview. I will schedule it for you in 4 weeks. Now if you have that amount of time, do you think you can memorize those 12 questions with 12 perfectly enunciated answers? I replied, Well, yeah if I knew the 12 questions then of course.

She said, Okay great, now get your long underwear ready sweetheart. It is gonna be freezing cold for a little Georgia boy like you at Chicago training in February. Welcome to Universal Airlines. So go outside now and look really sad. This conversation never happened and if you see the others at the airport then you did not do well. You look very sad and don’t say a single word about anything. She winked at me, shook my hand and walked me out the door. As I entered the lobby I saw the same driver in his van. Suddenly, it cranked up and the motor began running. Maintenance was outside and I overheard him say, There was nothing wrong with it that we could find. It must have been some type of intermittent glitch. The van driver said, You still wanna go to the airport sir? I replied, Yes He placed my luggage on and said, So how did it go in there? I saw you were about to leave before you had the interview.

I replied, Yeah I almost chickened out. It looks like it was good that your van would not start because I got the job. He just laughed and smiled. He said, Now I know why my van didn’t start. I am a very religious man and I feel that God, as well as Guardian Angels, have a way of making mischief when they need to accomplish things. I feel that they messed with my starter so you could be where you needed to be today and at the time you needed to be there. They had another plan for you. He then gave me this big smile in his rearview mirror. It just seemed so odd that I was having this very unusual conversation in an empty van about Destiny, God and Guardian Angels on the way to the airport that day.

When we arrived at the airport, he He then took my bag off. I gave him a tip and he shook my hand. Once outside the van, he exclaimed, Welcome to Universal Airlines and remember there are no accidents or coincidences in this world. It is all just a part of God's master plan and he has big plans for you Stan. Have a blessed day and a safe trip home young man. He then drove off as I stood there feeling a bit dumbfounded, stunned and in total disbelief about what had just transpired. I sat in complete silence staring out the window on the flight home, recapping the entire chain of events.

The next day, I met with my little Brazilian buddy Carlo for lunch at our favorite gay diner. He was so angry when I told him that I got hired at Universal. None of our other friends at Festival were selected. I was the only one in our group of friends that was selected. He said, Stan, Universal Airlines are just a bunch of racists. They have too many minorities so they are only hiring apple pie white boys and girls from the south and the midwest right now. I speak Berlitz 6 Portuguese, Italian and Spanish. However, I can’t even get the language test interview because they have too many people with brown skin right now. If you take this job with that racist airline then we are not friends anymore !

I said, Carlo, c’mon guy you gotta be kidding me. This is a very tough time to get in with airlines at the moment. I was amazingly lucky to get this shot. Right now everyone is having a hiring freeze or they are only taking people with 4-year degrees and Belitz 6 language abilities. Carlo, you have all that and you can go anywhere. Southland, Allegiance, they are all gonna want someone like you. Where is a Georgia boy from a small town with an incomplete Associate in Journalism and basic Spanish, gonna get hired in this tough job market? I can’t say no, as this is probably my only shot. Carlo replied, Fine then this friendship is over. It was nice knowing you. He then left me there at the diner feeling heartbroken.

Carlo never spoke to me ever again. Just two weeks later I heard that he got hired by Southland Airlines as a Portuguese speaker for the flights to Rio. He has been there ever since. We had so many fun and crazy times at Festival together. I really miss Carlo and still think about him all the time. Yet, I had to accept his decision to turn this page of our history book together. It was now time to pack my bags once again and get ready for the next chapter of my Airline Saga with training at Universal Airlines.

Barbie Boot Camp

It was now time for my several weeks of training during Chicago’s most absolute coldest time of year. There was already snow on the ground and ice on the windows. The van rolled up to the dorms of the Academy. My friends in the airline industry referred to this as Barbie Boot Camp. It had this creepy almost menacing feel about the place. The energy just