Composed: The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure
By Rob McKenna
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About this ebook
Composed: The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure is a roadmap for standing firmly in who we are while staying connected to those who matter most to us—especially when high pressure moments come. It doesn’t matter whether you are a CEO, parent, manager, or student, none of us are immune to the possibility of losing it when the pressure is on. For some people, public speaking is a fear. Maybe conflict makes you uncomfortable. For others, simply being responsible for the experience or learning of others causes you anxiety. Even for seasoned leaders who face pressure every day, showing up their best can be tough. Whether pressure makes us feel incompetent and unworthy, or mean and reactive, the impact of losing our composure is significant.
Our capacity to compose ourselves when the pressure is highest, to lead strong, and to lead with care in the most difficult situations of conflict and anxiety may have the single greatest impact on our families, our teams, our organizations, and the world that surrounds us. The stakes are too high for us, and for those we love, to wait any longer.
Composed: The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure, is based on our research on the developmental journey of thousands of leaders who have taken the Leading Under Pressure Inventory. This inventory is one of eight whole leader development tools in the WiLD Toolkit. To access the Leading Under Pressure Inventory or the entire suite of tools for yourself, your small group, team, organization, or coaching practice, visit www.wildtoolkit.com.
Rob McKenna
Dr. Rob McKenna is the CEO of WiLD Leaders, Inc. and creator of the WiLD Toolkit. He is also Chari of Industrial Organizational Psychology at Seattle Pacific University and Founder of the WiLD Foundation—a not-for-profit organization developing the capacity of the underserved leaders in the most critical corners of our world. His other publications include Dying to Lead, Sacrificial Leadership in a Self-Centered World, and dozens of articles and chapters on character, calling and whole leaders development. As an author, speaker, and professor, his mission is to develop the next generation of courageous and sacrificial leaders.
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Composed - Rob McKenna
©2017 by Dr. Rob McKenna
©2017 Dust Jacket Press
Composed: The Heart and Science of Leading Under Pressure / Dr. Rob McKenna
ISBN: 978-1-947671-91-1
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w w w . d u s t j a c k e t . c o m
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cover
Title page
Copyrights
Acknowlegements
Introduction
1: Welcome to the Amazing Race!
2: The Foundation
3: You and Me: The Fundamental Tension
4: On a Mission or Adrift: Sense of Purpose
5: Barriers or Possibilities: Focusing on Potential
6: Attacked or Objective: It Isn’t Personal
7: Their Shoes or Your Shoes: Taking the Perspective of Others
8: Victim or Volition: Perceptions of Control
9: The Balcony or the Pinhole: Seeing the Big Picture
10: Like You Mean it or Just Plain Mean: Conviction
11: Who’s in the Mirror? Self-Awareness
12: Blame or Grace: Recognizing Contribution
13: Thinkers & Feelers: Empathy
14: Chaos or Calm: Self-Regulation
15: It Does Matter!
Composure Coaching Tool
About the Author
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The completion of most major projects takes a village, and this is no exception. There are so many people who have helped me become a more composed version of myself over the years, who supported me and the completion of this book, and who have been my role models.
Special thanks go to Kellie Roberts, my real time editor, for meeting with me every Tuesday for a year to help me get my research and experiences into a book. This project would not have been completed without your patience, finely tuned ear, and conscientiousness, Kellie. Thank you.
And thanks to my other editors along the way including Kaylin Sallenback, Rachel Shannon, Jacob Redding, and Grant Learned for your discerning and wise editing voices and pens. And thanks to Jay Cordova, my kindred freak leader, who has believed in me from the start. Jay, you are a gift.
Thanks to all the rest of you wonderfully weird members of my research team including Robleh Kirce, Kira Wenzel, Diana Ecker, Deanna Haney-Loehlein, Jessica Loving, McKendree Hickory, Amy Nagley, Stepanie Lopez, Kayla Logan, Gabrielle Metzler, JD Landers, Emily Minaker, Annie Barthel, Reetu Sandhu, Megan Furstenberg, Liz Pavese-Kaplan, Caitlin Wasilewski, Terran Mack- man, Victoria Campbell-Slosberg, Katrina Boshuizen, Tanya Boyd, Rachel Kirce, and Kayla Lozano. You all have put up with the way I mentor and think for years, and have been the catalysts for deep and insightful thinking on what it means to show up our best under pressure.
My brother Doug McKenna has been such a gift to me as a friend, mentor, and big brother. What a blessing to have a built in coach like you who is one of the world’s leading experts on the topic of leading from where we stand. Thanks for your love and encouragement, and belief in me.
Thanks to Paul Yost, Joey Collins, Margaret Diddams, and Dana Kendall, my colleagues at Seattle Pacific University. Paul, your partnership and brotherhood in this work over the years has given me the courage to believe we were onto something. Joey, our work together on helping leaders be more composed and your support is priceless. Margaret, having a sister and colleague who knows my history and heart has meant more than you know. And Dana, you push me to bring rigor right alongside the deeper questions of faith. Thanks team.
David and Janet McKenna, you are my role models of what it means to work hard at leading well every day. Mom and Dad, thank you for that gift. Your strength and character is present in every positive strategy in this book.
Thanks to my family – Jackie, Aidan and Ryan. I am so grateful for the grace you’ve offered me when I’ve lost my composure and for your willingness to let me test my working theories on you. I love you three so much.
And finally, thank you, God, for your patience and unending grace. Without that, I wouldn’t have known where to begin.
INTRODUCTION:
I often ask people this question: If you could pick one word that describes what you want to be more like under pressure, what would it be?
The responses include things like patient, connected, clear, calm, resilient, assertive – and com- posed is almost always near the top of the list. There is something deep inside each of us that desires to be a better version of our- selves when the storms of life hit us, and to be the same in the midst of trials or triumphs that we know are coming, but can’t always predict.
My purpose in writing this book is to help you maintain your composure and show up well when the pressure on you is highest – not only for your sake, but for the sake of those around you. Although much of my work has been with leaders, you certainly don’t need to have the title leader
to know that pressure, anxiety, and conflict are realities in life. Whether it is a fear of conflict, public exposure, or a failure related to your family, friends, or work, pressure and anxiety are realities in our daily lives. We all face pressure, and the impact on us and on those around us can be significant.
Wouldn’t it be great if all of us could become a little bit better at handling pressure? If in these moments, we could show up better, hold onto ourselves, and maintain our ability to listen and stay connected to others? My hope is that you will see yourself in these pages, identify and embrace practical strategies for better handling pressure, and develop your capacity to be your best self when the stakes are high. I not only want this for you, but for everyone around you and for those who matter most to you.
I am driven by my fundamental belief that we must build up leaders who have a strong sense of themselves, and an equally strong ability to see other people. My