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    Aging is Not for Sissies
    Aging is Not for Sissies
    Aging is Not for Sissies
    Ebook107 pages2 hours

    Aging is Not for Sissies

    By Brenda Kennedy, David Bruce, Rosa Jones and

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    About this ebook

    While on a Caribbean Cruise and after numerous bottles of Moscato wine and several trips to the all-you-can-eat dessert bar, four sisters decided to write a book about their love affair with food and their experiences with diet disasters. They also invited a brother to contribute some writing, and they called the book Cupcakes Are Not a Diet Food.
    Since that book was so much fun and a great success, they decided to write other books in the Another Round of Laughter series, and they titled this book Aging is NOT for Sissies.
    Since the books are a family affair, they asked their other two brothers to join in on the writing adventure. However, they both declined. It should also be noted that their very talented cousin Becki Angle-Martin designs the book covers. The title of this book also was inspired from their Aunt Sue.
    They decided to write this book about everything from infancy to adolescence to menopause and beyond, talking about everything from pimples, Spanx, bad perms, hair dyes, adulting, and yes, even hot flashes. If they have experienced it, lived through it, or wanted to die because of it, they'll share it with you. One thing these siblings have learned is, if you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at.
    They hope you laugh as much reading this book as they did writing it.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrenda Kennedy
    Release dateFeb 20, 2017
    ISBN9781370392087
    Aging is Not for Sissies
    Author

    Brenda Kennedy

    Brenda Kennedy, an award winning and Amazon bestselling author, is a true believer of romance. Her stories are based on the relationships that define our lives - compassionate, emotionally gripping, and uplifting novels with true to life characters, that stay with her readers long after the last page is turned. Her varied, not always pleasant background has given her the personal experience to take her readers on an emotional, sometimes heart wrenching, journey through her stories. Brenda has been a struggling single mom, a survivor of domestic abuse, waitress, corrections officer, hostage negotiator and a corrections nurse. She is also a wife, mom, and grandmother. Even though her life was not always rainbows and butterflies, she is a survivor and believes her struggles have made her the person she is today. Brenda is the author of the award winning book, Forever Country (The Rose Farm Trilogy Book 1). She has been dubbed "The Queen of Cliffhangers" by her adoring readers because books one and two always have a cliffhanger ending. In Brenda's own words, "I write series that end in cliffhangers, because I love them. I always give away the first book in each series so you have nothing to lose by reading it." She was born and raised in Zanesville, Ohio and moved to SW Florida in 2006 with her husband Rex. They have a combined family, and she often jokes about not remembering what child belongs to who.

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      Book preview

      Aging is Not for Sissies - Brenda Kennedy

      Aging is NOT for Sissies

      By

      Brenda Kennedy

      Carla Evans

      Martha Farmer

      Rosa Jones

      and

      David Bruce

      Synopsis

      While on a Caribbean Cruise and after numerous bottles of Moscato wine and several trips to the all-you-can-eat dessert bar, four sisters decided to write a book about their love affair with food and their experiences with diet disasters. They also invited a brother to contribute some writing, and they called the book Cupcakes Are Not a Diet Food.

      Since that book was so much fun and a great success, they decided to write other books in the Another Round of Laughter series, and they titled this book Aging is NOT for Sissies.

      Since the books are a family affair, they asked their other two brothers to join in on the writing adventure. However, they both declined. It should also be noted that their very talented cousin Becki Angle-Martin designs the book covers. The title of this book also was inspired from their Aunt Sue.

      They decided to write this book about everything from infancy to adolescence to menopause and beyond, talking about everything from pimples, Spanx, bad perms, hair dyes, adulting, and yes, even hot flashes. If they have experienced it, lived through it, or wanted to die because of it, they’ll share it with you. One thing these siblings have learned is, if you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at.

      They hope you laugh as much reading this book as they did writing it.

      Aging is NOT for Sissies

      Another Round of Laughter Series #3

      A collection of true, funny, short stories written by four sisters and a brother

      This book is dedicated to everyone who has ever experienced the nightmare called aging.

      We hope everyone to whom this book is dedicated buys a copy.

      Copyright 2017 by

      Brenda Kennedy

      Carla Evans

      Martha Farmer

      Rosa Jones

      and

      David Bruce

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      Preface

      By Brenda Kennedy

      After my siblings and I wrote Cupcakes are Not a Diet Food, we decided since it was such a huge success, we would write other books in the Another Round of Laughter series. This one is about aging.

      At first I thought I’ll write only about menopause. Mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, weight gain, and even the joys of no more periods. Then I thought about aging and how it affects everyone. Babies turn into toddlers, toddlers into preschoolers, and pre-teens into the spawn of Satan before turning into normal adults. It’s all a process, and we are in it for the good and the bad.

      Life’s tough. Aging’s tough. And at times it sucks. My dad always said aging beats the alternative — the alternative being death. Talk about words that’ll stop you in your tracks. He’s right. You live and grow old, or you die young, but this doesn’t mean I have to like the aging process. One of Dad’s sisters always said, you can’t grow old and be a sissy. She’s right. You better man up and face it head on, because whether you like it or not, we’re growing old. Gray hair, wrinkles, brittle nails, dry skin, toenail fungus, it’s coming for us and it’s coming at a faster speed than I ever imagined.

      My dad aged gracefully. Of course he did. Don’t all men? I think all men… scratch that, I think most men get better looking with age. They become sexier, and more mature. Gray hair on a man looks sexy. Gray hair on a woman makes her look unkept.

      Women spend a small fortune on face cream to reduce wrinkles, moisturizers to soften our skin, hair care products to give us silky soft hair, bras that lift and separate, girdles or Spanx that hide the fat and smooth the bumps, shoes that make us look taller. I can go on and on; the list is endless. Do men have any idea what we go through? Mine doesn’t. He thinks I like getting my roots done every six weeks. Really? Like I have nothing better to do and nothing better to spend my money on.

      This book is written with humor in mind, with the exception of our brother throwing in some serious stuff at the end. I plan to fight the aging process for as long as I can, or at least prolong it as long as I can. I figure in another thirty or forty years, I’ll have the process down pat, but by then, I’ll be too old to give a hoot. But until then, I’m in search of the Fountain of Youth. If only it were something other than healthy eating and exercise.

      Chapter 1: Who is That Old Woman Staring Back at Me in The Mirror? Mom, Is That You?

      By Brenda Kennedy

      Disclaimer: All research for this book was given to me by a friend who wants to remain anonymous. I’m too young to know about these things.

      The process of aging starts at the time of contraception. But it isn’t until later in life that we start thinking or worrying about it. As a teenager we can’t wait to become adults. As adults, we wish we were teenagers again. Let’s face it, adulting sucks.

      I have a grandson who’s nineteen who recently moved to Italy with the Armed Forces. While talking with him, I reminded him of everything that he needed to do before he leaves. It was a long list and I tried to sound like I wasn’t nagging or badgering him, but I was indeed trying to help him. He openly admitted for the first time ever that adulting isn’t what he thought it was going to be. He confirmed what I already knew.

      I remember like it was yesterday, the first time I thought about getting old. It was the first of many incidents to follow. I found my first gray hair. I was working as a waitress in my early twenties and found a gray hair on top of my head. I thought it was the end of the world. Thank God, no one else saw it. If they did, they didn’t tell me. I quickly plucked it from my head and it was gone. Forever. Problem solved. That’s wasn’t so bad. Until the next day when I found two more. I plucked those and then more came. The more I plucked, the more gray hairs I got. Why didn’t someone tell me to leave them alone. They’re like rabbits; they freaking multiply if you pluck them just like rabbits multiply like they rhymes-with-pluck each other. I was only twenty-three, I wasn’t supposed to have gray hair. I’m too young to get old. This was the beginning of many hair color treatments I would be experimenting with over the next several decades. I’ve decided I’m just a few months away from just shaving my head and buying wigs. Why not? Seems like a nice alternative to me. I mean, a nice alternative for my friend.

      I remember stating once when I was twenty-nine that I was still in my twenties. An older waitress teased that I won’t be able to say that for much longer. She was right, but at that time, I was twenty-something, and I let it be known. I didn’t understand at the time why that bothered her so much. Now that I’m in my fifties, I want to throat punch anyone and everyone remotely younger than I am. I can’t help it. I’m a hater of all women young and beautiful. Good thing that I live in Florida now. I am younger and more beautiful than so many other women.

      The next time I thought about aging was right after I got my GED. I applied for a job as a Corrections Officer and I got hired. I was thirty-four years old. The city of Zanesville hired twelve people at the same time to start work in a newly built jail. The day I started training for the job I realized I was the oldest person there. I couldn’t believe it. Just yesterday, I was the youngest person in any room I was in, but now at thirty-four I was the oldest person working inside the jail, although I was not the oldest person working in the police department. That sucked! I was known as the mother hen. No wonder I hated that job every day for the next decade that I worked there. I spent much time in the police department where I would be one of the youngest in the room. I was happier there.

      Another time that aging crossed my mind was when my first grandchild was born. It was about the same time a girl I worked with had her first child. I had my daughter young and she had her first son before she was twenty. I always liked being the young mother, and I like being the young grandmother, but the name grandma makes me sound old. I hate sounding

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