Spiritual Community: The Power to Restore Hope, Commitment and Joy
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Reimagine the Possibilities for Your Own Congregation
We all share a deep human need for meaning in our lives, a need to feel that we are part of something larger than ourselves. Yet many of us have discovered that successful careers, material affluence—even loving families—are not enough to satisfy this longing. And, too often, the congregations and organizations in which we seek greater meaning are uninspiring, or worse.
The answer lies in belonging to a strong spiritual community—not just a collection of individuals but a dynamic, integrated congregation linked by commitment and vision, sustained by friendship and shared experience. But how to build it?
Informative and encouraging, wise and practical, Spiritual Community looks at congregations and organizations—what they are and what they might become—and reveals the unique role they have the potential to play in refreshing our minds, transforming our hearts and giving our lives meaning. From establishing “radiant centers” to welcome people into the heart of the community, to reclaiming the power of ritual, to suggesting strategies for dealing with conflict—Rabbi Teutsch offers practical solutions to challenges congregations commonly face making themselves into spiritual communities.
This is essential reading for every spiritual and lay leader—for anyone who wants to transform their congregation or organization into a strong spiritual community.
Rabbi David A. Teutsch, PhD
Rabbi David A. Teutsch, PhD, is the Wiener Professor of Contemporary Jewish Civilization and director of the Center for Jewish Ethics at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, where he served as president for nearly a decade. He was editor in chief of the seven-volume Kol Haneshamah prayer book series. His book A Guide to Jewish Practice: Everyday Living (RRC Press) won the National Jewish Book Award for Contemporary Jewish Life and Practice. He is also author of Spiritual Community: The Power to Restore Hope, Commitment and Joy (Jewish Lights) and several other books. He contributed to May God Remember: Memory and Memorializing in Judaism—Yizkor, Who by Fire, Who by Water—Un'taneh Tokef, All These Vows—Kol Nidre, and We Have Sinned: Sin and Confession in Judaism—Ashamnu and Al Chet (all Jewish Lights).
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Spiritual Community - Rabbi David A. Teutsch, PhD
Preface
RECOGNIZING COMMUNITY
Imagine someone standing up at a congregational meeting and asking, Well, are we a community, or aren’t we?
The question implies a challenge. If we understand ourselves to be a community, then certain values, policies, and responsibilities should flow from that.
A congregant says, If we’re a community, then we need to help Susan get to the hospital for her cancer treatment.
Somebody else responds, You’re right. I’ll help get that organized.
Somebody might say, If we’re a community, we need to have social events, and not just pray and do good works.
Or, Then we have to find Sam a new job.
And somebody might respond, "Well, we’re a community, but we’re not that much of a community. We don’t have the ability to get Sam a new job."
Having a community implies having both commitment and ability. There are many different kinds of commitments and abilities, and each of them varies in strength. The strength of community and the shape of community will vary depending on a large number of these variables. Many variables are beyond our individual control, but others—especially those related to commitments, values, and ideals—are very much in our own hands.
When I was the President of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, I also served as a member of the rabbinical admissions committee. Over the years, I have had many conversations with applicants about why they want to study for the rabbinate. Many of them are successful lawyers, social workers, teachers, or academicians. They say much the same thing in different ways. They are seeking something that is missing from their lives. They want a stronger sense of belonging, service, tradition, and spiritual connection, and they want to make the world a better place. Their high-paying, high-status jobs have not satisfied these less measurable ambitions. They are now seeking the benefits that come from building community.
I now direct the RRC Ethics Center. Recently, someone came to see me to talk about a problem. As is often the case, I didn’t know until the conversation began what it might be about. After exchanging a few pleasantries, he said, I’ll tell you why I’m here. I can’t figure something out. Why, if I’m so successful, am I in so much pain?
Many of us live with a strong sense of isolation or frustration: Life just isn’t giving us the satisfaction that is supposed to come with living the American dream. More than anything else, that is the force driving people toward community and spirituality. In the last few generations, most Americans have had unprecedented freedom, mobility, education, and wealth. As anyone familiar with the statistics on violence, drug use, and depression knows, that has been a mixed blessing. Our actions have been shaped by the belief that having more or better possessions and greater financial security will make us happier. That was the key to our thinking during most of the modern period. In our current postmodern, postindustrial age, many people are questioning that assumption and hoping to forge better lives. I think that by creating community—a strong, vibrant community of shared living and shared passions—we can achieve that lofty goal.
Underlying the drive for community are several disparate yet complementary desires. Some people are looking for close friends; others hope to find a permanent companion to love and share life with. Some come to community to overcome loneliness; others come for a shared cultural, social, or spiritual life; still others are seeking support. Some come knowing they have much to give.
But community transforms everyone, often in unexpected ways. Teachers become students; students turn into teachers. Those poised to give of themselves often find they derive more from community membership than they give.
In community we find strength in what we give, receive, and share. And in a strong community, we share a great deal—life rhythms, values, and a way of living. That kind of sharing infuses life with meaning and richness not found any other way.
Through community my kids have become friendly with dozens of adults who live lives worth emulating. They are surrounded by people concerned about their welfare, people who celebrate their development and correct their misbehavior. Community also means dinner invitations, shared festival celebrations, friendships, and roots.
I sought out community for shared Jewish living. Only the passage of more than thirty years has shown me how much greater and how much more diverse than I ever imagined are the gifts that community living bestows.
THE ORIGIN OF SHARED LIVING
Human nature was forged in clan and tribal settings. If people had not naturally adapted to the values and practices of the tribe, the human race would not have survived, because internal dissension would have kept the tribe (the critical economic and defense unit) from functioning effectively. Imagine, for example, what would happen to a hunting party if its members didn’t cooperate.
Hardwired into human consciousness is acceptance of the authority of clan leaders and a willingness to internalize the leader’s vision; that allows the clan to function effectively. As a result of this deep human patterning, we only feel good when our way of living harmonizes with the lives of those with whom we maintain regular social contact—our peer group. When we do not share our daily lives with people who support our values, we feel embattled and undermined. When there is dissonance, we unconsciously seek to eliminate it. We need to share our lives with people who reinforce our values and beliefs.
If we want to teach ideals and beliefs, values, rights, and responsibilities, then we need clan-size groups to do the job.
Early clans were small social groups with mutual interests, strong interpersonal connections, and a common history, culture, values, and economic life. Today, strong communities resemble these early clans in many regards—they are a primary grouping of people who are tightly connected and who share values, goals, and responsibility for one another. In this book, I focus on how we can create vibrant local congregations that share many of the characteristics of these strong communities.
THE SHATTERING OF CONNECTION
When clans were the primary form of human organization, they functioned as communities in the strong sense. When small villages became the primary form of social organization, interpersonal connection and commitment were almost as powerful, and these communities were truly successful. But as cities grew in size, smaller social structures usually developed within them to meet the needs that the larger entity could not fulfill. Synagogues and churches, guilds and markets, schools and military units are all examples of such mediating structures. They all imbue small groups of people with a sense of community, compensating for the city’s mass culture and anonymity, which eroded community life.
Over the last few centuries, industrialization has brought rapid social change. For efficiency, cities became increasingly large, and smaller economic units broke up. The high rate of mobility shattered many people’s links to the groups with which they had a shared history and culture. Extended families that had run farms, trading companies, and other enterprises ceased functioning as the primary economic unit.
New modes of communication and transportation meant that individuals had regular contact with many more people. The emphasis on material values and consumerism combined with such passive entertainments as movies, television, radio, and recorded music to increase our isolation. The stability, duration, and intimacy of the earlier kind of community were no longer accessible to most citizens of industrial society.
Support for individual autonomy figured prominently in this shift in social structure, giving ideological support to the economic changes required by industrialization. Autonomy and individual choice—the hallmarks of modern society—have brought us unprecedented personal freedom, yet they have struck a blow to community building. No longer do we feel obligated to honor the community’s right to demand loyalty and to assert that we must sustain community, even when that involves personal hardship.
Most residents of contemporary American society live with that loss. It is expressed in feelings of depression or isolation, and in uncontrolled aggression and antisocial actions like vandalism, cheating, and petty theft. Why don’t we express our loss more clearly and then do something about it? I’d like to suggest three reasons: First of all, most of us have never experienced community in the strong sense, so we don’t know what we’re missing. Second, the term community is so frequently used in a restricted sense (e. g., medical community, Irish community, Los Angeles community, virtual community) that most of us have become cynical about it. Third, the maintenance of community appears to conflict with our privacy, personal freedom, and economic opportunity, and perhaps to require significant effort.
And so, unfortunately, many of us live