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    The Book of Dubious Beasts
    Unavailable
    The Book of Dubious Beasts
    Unavailable
    The Book of Dubious Beasts
    Ebook211 pages2 hours

    The Book of Dubious Beasts

    By Jaxy Mono

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    St. George murders a fire-swallowing Welsh dragon...

    A mermaid goes looking for true love on land...

    A blob of shape-changing mucus runs for political office...

    These are some of the weird and wonderful tales told by the macaque Jaxy Mono, in this seminal work of “monkey lit”, The Book of Dubious Beasts.

    Inspired by the animal stories of Rudyard Kipling and Jorge Luis Borges, The Book of Dubious Beasts is an unforgettable trip to the zoo of the human imagination.

    It is suitable for children and adults from 8 to 80, and it is richly illustrated with beautiful drawings by renowned artist Dmitry Pousirev.

    ABOUT THIS BOOK

    This book is true.

    Every word.

    Especially the lies.

    Look along the edge of a table – that is the first dimension, breadth. Then look along the other edge of the table – that is the second dimension, depth. Then look down at the table’s leg – that is the third dimension, height. Add up those three dimensions and you have space.

    Now think at right angles to the first three dimensions, and you have the fourth dimension, time. Add those four dimensions together and you have what cynics call “reality”, or “everything”.

    But any reputable theoretical astrophysicist will tell you that our universe has more than four dimensions. Some of the eggheads calculate that it has ten; others are convinced that it has twenty-two. It’s no wonder that the Einsteins can’t tie their own shoelaces and their hair grows perpendicular to their craniums!
    So think at right angles to “reality”, and you will discover the fifth dimension, imagination. And, living in this dimension, you will find many beasts that you probably thought did not exist – creatures like dragons and mermaids and unicorns – animals created not by God or by Mother Nature or by Charles Darwin, but by our own fears and fantasies.

    Of course, you may look at the strange and imaginary animals in this book and rub your eyes and mutter in disbelief, “but these beasts, they can’t be! Either the monkey with the typewriter got stoned, or I’m hallucinating! This is absurd, the fifth dimension doesn’t exist.”

    But of course the fifth dimension exists, even if only in our heads; for with our minds we can make up whole worlds and universes of alternative realities. And do, every night when we fall asleep.

    So, welcome to the zoo of the human imagination! Roll up, drop a penny in the turnstile, and come gawp at the strange and improbable beasts caged in this book. Like us, their makers, they are creatures that science can’t explain.

    Only, please DON’T FEED THE CRITTERS! Many of these beasts can spit fire, or spout acid, or breathe plague, or turn you into stone; and most of the others would happily scrunch up your bones and slurp your brains out of your skull if you get too close. And watch out that the creatures don’t escape, for where imagination intersects with reality, absolutely anything can happen.

    A macaque with an iPad can even write a book!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJaxy Mono
    Release dateMay 23, 2016
    ISBN9781311637864
    Unavailable
    The Book of Dubious Beasts
    Author

    Jaxy Mono

    Jaxy Mono - the world famous “monkey with a typewriter” - is a highly intelligent tail-less Barbary Ape (Macaca sylvanus) from Europe’s only population of wild monkeys in Gibraltar.Jaxy (pronounced JAK-see) creates his works by tapping, apparently at random, on the screen of a “borrowed” (i.e. filched) iPad. Jaxy also thieves cameras, and he is a keen film-maker. His six hour documentary study of his left foot has won major prizes at several international film festivals.Outside his artistic endeavours, Jaxy likes beer, bananas and his babies; and he dislikes fleas, being paid in peanuts, and zoos. His hobbies include foraging, grooming, rooting through trash-cans, and playing tag with his offspring.Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Jaxy doesn’t believe in evolution, as he simply can’t accept that he is descended from creatures as primitive as human beings; especially Creationists.Jaxy Mono has asserted his inalienable moral right to be identified as the author of his works; and anybody who asserts otherwise will be nipped on the butt.Hard.SOME EARLY REACTIONS TO JAXY'S WORK:“Shakespeare was a monkey with a typewriter too. Only he didn’t have a typewriter. And Jaxy has an iPad! Just imagine the possibilities!” – Steve Jobs (contacted via séance)“A stunning triumph of A.I. (Animal Intelligence). This pioneering work of trans-special fiction will revolutionize our understanding of Old World monkeys. Jaxy puts the genus back in genius!” – Sir David Attenborough“Not bad for a baboon. But just imagine what a chimpanzee could do!” – Jane Goodall“Yo, Jaxy, U got sum freaky beasts livin in yur bone-box. Yur won sikk monkey-man! XXX!” – Lindsay Lohan (via Twitter)“You fucking ape! Call yourself a writer? You’re no more an author than a deaf fucker with a piano is Beethoven. When I’m done with you, you’re bush-meat. Give me back my wallet!” – Head Critic, Times Literary Supplement“This is more than a HIT; it’s solid gold ape-$HIT! – We’re talking a telephone number advance here. With an area code up front. - Hey, are you listening? You don’t put the phone down on me, I put the phone down on you! – Hello? Hello?!?” – Buck Franklin, Jaxy’s agent“Please buy my books; I need your bananas.” – Jaxy

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