Thirty-three
By Jaxy Mono
()
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Currently unavailable
About this ebook
“Welcome to Hellywood! Some like it hot!”
wisecracks graffiti on a freeway’s wall;
“Abandon hope you dopes who drive by Christ!”
bawls a billboard outside a bricked-up church;
“No body? You’re nobody!” muscles in
a sweating gym on Sodom and Inferno;
“Hey, you’re a winner if you’re getting thinner,”
shills hype outside a liposuction doc.
That’s Hollywood! A smog of lies and greed
between the desert’s and the ocean’s sands,
where the sun shines three hundred days a year,
and heaven-sent beauty hell-bent on fame
trades soul and body for a speaking-role...
* * *
thirty-three is an R-rated “screenplay in verse” for a movie that will never be made; that is, unless you watch it in your mind’s eye.
In its thirty-three moments of love, it tells of a passionate and disturbed affair between a film director and a famous actress in Hollywood, where love is just the price you pay to get some fame, and “MGM” rhymes with “phlegm”.
Alternately bitterly cynical and intensely lyrical, thirty-three tells a story never to be told, the real identities of whose protagonists must forever remain secret.
thirty-three is Jaxy’s scandalous expose of the secret world at the heart of Hollywood.
* * *
When darkness pours the ocean of the moon
over the dunes of deserts without water,
the crushed seashells of the sand hear the sea,
and the dead dream of the night without morning.
When sorrow drums the conga of the moon
above the bitter tides of sugar-cane,
the coffins of the slave-ships sail the fields,
and the dead drag their chains of rusted tears.
When shadows spin the dollar of the moon
over the Capitols where wars are made,
men squeal as their soft throats are slit like pigs,
and pork is dressed as glory, greed as good.
When midnight hangs the clock-face of the moon
above the crowded centuries of death,
graves rise like islands from the infinite,
and, as you walk the wind, I cry your name.
Anna, Anna, Anna...
Jaxy Mono
Jaxy Mono - the world famous “monkey with a typewriter” - is a highly intelligent tail-less Barbary Ape (Macaca sylvanus) from Europe’s only population of wild monkeys in Gibraltar.Jaxy (pronounced JAK-see) creates his works by tapping, apparently at random, on the screen of a “borrowed” (i.e. filched) iPad. Jaxy also thieves cameras, and he is a keen film-maker. His six hour documentary study of his left foot has won major prizes at several international film festivals.Outside his artistic endeavours, Jaxy likes beer, bananas and his babies; and he dislikes fleas, being paid in peanuts, and zoos. His hobbies include foraging, grooming, rooting through trash-cans, and playing tag with his offspring.Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Jaxy doesn’t believe in evolution, as he simply can’t accept that he is descended from creatures as primitive as human beings; especially Creationists.Jaxy Mono has asserted his inalienable moral right to be identified as the author of his works; and anybody who asserts otherwise will be nipped on the butt.Hard.SOME EARLY REACTIONS TO JAXY'S WORK:“Shakespeare was a monkey with a typewriter too. Only he didn’t have a typewriter. And Jaxy has an iPad! Just imagine the possibilities!” – Steve Jobs (contacted via séance)“A stunning triumph of A.I. (Animal Intelligence). This pioneering work of trans-special fiction will revolutionize our understanding of Old World monkeys. Jaxy puts the genus back in genius!” – Sir David Attenborough“Not bad for a baboon. But just imagine what a chimpanzee could do!” – Jane Goodall“Yo, Jaxy, U got sum freaky beasts livin in yur bone-box. Yur won sikk monkey-man! XXX!” – Lindsay Lohan (via Twitter)“You fucking ape! Call yourself a writer? You’re no more an author than a deaf fucker with a piano is Beethoven. When I’m done with you, you’re bush-meat. Give me back my wallet!” – Head Critic, Times Literary Supplement“This is more than a HIT; it’s solid gold ape-$HIT! – We’re talking a telephone number advance here. With an area code up front. - Hey, are you listening? You don’t put the phone down on me, I put the phone down on you! – Hello? Hello?!?” – Buck Franklin, Jaxy’s agent“Please buy my books; I need your bananas.” – Jaxy
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