The Gospel According to Splinter

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SPLINTER

By Jim Reiher

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2016 by Jim Reiher

Illustrated by Glenn Hibburt

All Rights Reserved.

This e-book should not be reproduced or resold to any third party in any format.

Chapter 1

Introduction

My name changed some years ago. I am now known as ‘Splinter’. I’m a clown. I’m also a disciple of Jesus. It was Jesus who gave me that name. Apparently I’m like a splinter under the fingernail to some people, and I am also the relief that people feel when they get that splinter out from under their finger nail. Jesus thought it sort of summed me up: painful and joyful at different times, and maybe even at the same time too!

A number of people have already tried to write up an account of the things that have been happening among us, including some of the twelve. But there were others of us outside of the twelve, who also followed Jesus, and some of us have likewise decided to record certain of the things Jesus said and did. This account, then, is written by an eyewitnesses and servant of the word – not the greatest servant, as the story will show, but a servant of our Lord nonetheless. Me!

Therefore, since I have carefully noted everything from the beginning of the ministry of our Lord as a personal eyewitness, it seemed right for me to compile an orderly account for you to have. I want the readers of this book to know the true story of Jesus, and to feel confident about the accuracy of the many small stories that make up that story!

Jesus is conceived

Nearly 40 years ago, our amazing God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to speak to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph. Joseph was a descendant of David, though he was nobody important in his day. He was simply a carpenter. The virgin’s name was Mary.

The angel went to her and said, ‘Greetings, you who are highly favoured! The Lord is with you.’

I used to wonder why the angel did not go to Joseph first and tell him God’s plan. You know, if men are meant to be the boss over their wives (and wives to be). I realise now that God treats men and women the same, and that some of my old assumptions about men and women have been messed with big time, since following Jesus!

Anyway, Mary was scared and wondered what all this would lead to. But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favour with God. He has chosen you for a most important task. You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.’

‘How will this be,’ Mary asked the angel, ‘since I am still a virgin?’

The angel answered, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.’

Mary demonstrated an amazing faith and devotion to God when she replied: ‘I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.’

Then the angel left her. And just for the record: the angle did not touch Mary; and no person touched Mary in any intimate way. The Holy Spirit of God did a miracle and created a child in this young lady’s womb.

And Mary was left to face the consequences of radical commitment to God.

Chapter 2

Joseph and Mary travel to Bethlehem

In those days Caesar Augustus, the first Emperor of the entire Roman world, issued a decree that a census should be taken of everyone living inside the borders of the Roman Empire. This was the first census that took place. They would become a common appearance later. Every seven or eight years we would get another one. But this was the first one. I think it was when Quirinius was the governor of Syria, if I am remembering my history classes correctly! (Hmm… maybe he came later and I am mixing up names here). Anyway: everyone went to his own town to register.

Joseph went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea. Specifically he went to Bethlehem, the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He was not all that impressed with having to travel: Mary was going to find it hard. Joseph went there to register with Mary, who was expecting her baby now. In fact, she was almost due. The donkey ride was hard on Mary and brought on the labour.

The Birth of Jesus

After they got to Bethlehem, the time came for the baby to be born. God was pleased to allow his son to be born in the most humble of places: in the stable behind an inn. Jesus entered the world surrounded by an assault on Mary and Joseph’s senses: smells or animal urine and worse, the sounds of animals, and the dust of hay in the air. The inn had no rooms left in it, and God smiled as he brought his Son into the world under such lowly circumstances. (And don’t go asking me how I know God smiled. Of course I didn’t see that, but I just know in my heart that God was pleased.)

Mary gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in cloths of material, and placed him in an animal’s feed-box (a manger). The King of Kings was not going to be born in a man-made palace or live a life of courtly luxury. He would be identifying with the poor and the humble, the insignificant and the forgotten.

The first to hear about the birth of the Son of God

On that very night, there were shepherds out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks. They were about to have the fright of their life when God sent an angelic messenger to give them some amazing news. But God, always one to be dramatic and colourful, planned the following angelic appearance. This would give the shepherds an experience they would never forget.

First, an angel of the Lord appeared to the shepherds, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. The shepherds were terrified! And God smiled again, and he watched these common shepherds shake at his handiwork. But the angel said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloth and lying in an animal’s feed-box.’

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, singing and praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people on whom his favour rests.’ The heavenly choir sang loud and beautifully and set a model and example to us all in so doing. It is a wonderful thing to praise our God in song with music and joy!

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’

So they hurried off and soon found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. The shepherds were overwhelmed with awe at the events that were happening around them. They rejoiced that God chose simple folk like themselves – mere shepherds – to reveal his Son to.

The whole incident reminds me of how God chooses so often to bless, in special ways, the weak and the outcast and the unpopular. I guess it might be because the rich and the powerful already have so much here and now.

Jesus at the age of 12: the first time he and Splinter meet

Jesus grew and became strong. He was a good kid, who loved his parents and worked hard. He also had a very special relationship with his heavenly father. He was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

Now, every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. This was a most important feast, and all good Jewish families made the effort to be at the Temple for the occasion. My own family would do the same trip as well. When Jesus was twelve years old, I was only seven at the time. As usual both our families went independently to Jerusalem, to go to the feast, according to the custom. We did not know each other yet.

After the Feast was over, while Jesus’ parents were returning home, the young Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. You see, whole companies of families would travel together and the adults would walk with other adults during the day, and the children would run along together as well. No one noticed that Jesus was not in the crowd until late into the day. But as the day began to pass, Jesus’ parents began looking for him among their relatives and friends.

When they did not find him, they were very concerned, and so they immediately went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the Temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. The incredible thing was that everyone who heard the young Jesus was amazed at his understanding and his answers. For a boy so young, he had a wisdom that impressed even the religious leaders of the day.

As weird as this is going to sound: I actually remember it happening.

My family had also gone to the Passover and they were staying in Jerusalem a little longer than others for business reasons. I was playing near the Temple, when two parents obviously distressed and anxious, came hurrying toward the Temple steps.

They were very upset, and were calling out their boy’s name, and looking in all directions. I remember seeing the mother’s eyes, and I thought it reminded me of my mother sometimes. She was looking anxious and angry and caring all at the same time. I was only seven, but I can still remember it.

At the time, I had some water soaked rags rolled up into two balls and tied together with string. I was throwing the two rag balls up into the air and catching them as they descended. I was trying to do them both at the same time.

It was while I was playing (waiting for my father who was doing his business dealings with another man), when Joseph and Mary passed by. They did find Jesus in the Temple, and I am told that they had quite a few words to say to him!

Jesus was surprised at their anxiety. ‘Why were you searching for me?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’

They did not seem to really understand the full implications of what he was saying to them at the time.

As they came out of the Temple, the three of them together, they passed by me again. I was still playing with the rag balls, and now I was walking along the edge of the steps while still throwing the balls into the air. I had the two of them going around in a circle between my hands, and I was balancing on the very edge of the step.

The boy Jesus stopped and watched. I had no idea that I would meet him again later as an adult. But at the time, he watched and he smiled.

Then he spoke to me: ‘You’re pretty good at that! You should keep practicing. It makes me smile.’

That was all he said, and both he and his parents watched me for just a few seconds longer, and then started to leave. As he walked away, he turned and waved. I smiled and waved back. Mary turned to look too, and she gave me a smile.

The child becomes a man

Jesus grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him. He had his Heavenly Father’s creativity. As he helped his earthly father in the carpenter’s shop, he demonstrated that creativity with talent and vision. His handiwork was always admired by those who saw it. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with his neighbours, and with God. He was cheerful and well liked. He was bright and happy. He laughed with those who laughed and sorrowed with those who sorrowed. He was compassionate, and strong, and all who knew him enjoyed his company.

Chapter 3

The Ministry of John the Baptist

A really important thing happened when Jesus was in his early 30’s. Just before Jesus began teaching all the wonderful things he was to teach, another important person came onto the scene. It happened in the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar (the then Emperor of Rome); when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea; and Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, (that means he was kind of like a King/Governor combination). At this time, the word of God came to John. John was the son of Zechariah, but he was better known as ‘John the Baptist’. He received the word of God while he was out in the desert.

John went into all the country around the Jordan River, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: ‘A voice of one calling in the desert, Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all mankind will see God’s salvation.’

When he was not too far from my hometown of Capernaum, I went out to hear him. John used strong figures of speech as he spoke to the crowd that had come out to be baptised by him. He hit them with a powerful metaphor: ‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, We have Abraham as our father. For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.’

I was enjoying his creative use of language to paint pictures. More colourful figures of speech came from his lips: ‘The axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.’

Now people were being compared to trees. His figurative language hit deep. ‘What should we do then?’ the crowd asked.

John answered, ‘The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.’

I wondered about his teaching. Up till then I was not all that ‘religious’. I did not really like the Pharisees and the other religious people who tried to tell us all how to live and what to do and what not to do. But I must admit that I liked John: he was different to the professional religious, and he was not afraid to call it like he saw it. And he lived what he preached. Some others found his words too hard: they had lots of possessions and could not accept this teaching. They wanted to live for God and live for themselves at the same time. They cynically commented that John had eaten one too many locusts. (Did I mention that John lived a hermit’s life, out in the desert? He only ate locusts and wild honey, and he lived under the stars. Though, I did hear that sometimes he stayed with a community of monks down by the Dead Sea.)

Tax collectors also came to be baptised. ‘Teacher,’ they asked, ‘What should we do?’

‘Don’t collect any more taxes than you are required to,’ he told them. I remember when I later met Levi (also known as Matthew). Levi was a tax collector until he met Jesus. But he has also heard John the Baptist, and he was challenged by what John had said. I guess it was a message that was used by God to chip away at him for a while. Then when he met