Phonetic English Joke Book 1
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About this ebook
Phonetic English Joke Book 1 is a collection of 100 English jokes written in phonetic script - followed by a version in English. The book is ideal for anyone with an interest in phonetics and a good sense of humour. All money raised from the sale of the book will go to Medicins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders).
Jeremy Taylor
I've been writing since 1984, had my first book published in 1989 and have published another 55 books since then. I write mostly for teenage learners of English but also write a lot of short stories.
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Book preview
Phonetic English Joke Book 1 - Jeremy Taylor
/ˈɪŋglɪʃ fə'netɪk ʤəʊk bʊk 'wʌn/
English Phonetic Joke Book 1
Jeremy Taylor
Copyright © 2021 by Jeremy Taylor
Smashwords Edition
Phonetic translation by Carole Robinson and Siv Sears
Cartoons by Ilja Bereznickas
https://languagelearningjokebooks.com
Note from the author
All the money raised from the sale of this book will go to Médicins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) to support their incredible work around the world. So by buying the book you can improve your knowledge of phonetics, enjoy some amusing jokes and have the satisfaction that the money you paid for the book will be helping MSF in their great work, helping people who are not able to help themselves.
Thank you.
1.
/ˈtiːʧə> weə dʌz ˈgɒd lɪv/
/ˈlɪtl bɔɪ> aɪ θɪŋk hiː lɪvz ɪn ˈaʊə ˈbɑːθrʊm/
/ˈtiːʧə> waɪ dʒu:seɪ ˈðæt/
/ˈlɪtl bɔɪ> wel ˈevrɪ ˈmɔːnɪŋ maɪ ˈdædɪ bæŋz ɒn ðə ˈdɔː ənd sez ˈgɒd ə jʊ stɪl ɪn ðeə/
1.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
2.
/bɔɪ> ɪksˈkjuːz miː ˈtiːʧə wʊd jʊ ˈpʌnɪʃ ˈsʌmwʌn fə ˈsʌmθɪŋ ðeɪ hævənt ˈdʌn/
/ˈtiːʧə> əv ˈkɔːs nɒt/
/bɔɪ> gʊd aɪ hævənt dʌn maɪ ˈhəʊmwɜːk/
2.
Boy : Excuse me teacher, would you punish someone for something they haven't done?
Teacher : Of course not.
Boy : Good, I haven't done my homework.
3.
/ˈmʌmɪ kæn aɪ weə ə brɑː naʊ ðət aɪm sɪksˈtiːn/
/nəʊ ˈdeɪvɪd /
3.
Mummy, can I wear a bra now that I'm sixteen?
No, David.
4.
/ˈmʌmɪ aɪ dəʊnt laɪk ðɪs miːt kæn aɪ gɪv ɪt tə ðə dɒg/
/ nəʊ dɪə ðæt ɪz ðə dɒg/
4.
Mummy, I don't like this meat. Can I give it to the dog?
No, dear, that is the dog.
5.
/aɪv lɒst maɪ dɒg/
/jʊ ʃəd pʊt ən ədˈvɜːtɪsmənt ɪn ðə ˈnjuːspeɪpə/
/ðæts ˈkreɪzɪ hiː kɑːnt ˈriːd/