Alchemy 365: A Self-Awareness Workbook

Acknowledgments

The author wishes to acknowledge the following who helped critique portions of the rough draft of this book. These women, who unselfishly gave of their time, breathed fresh air and life into this work.

Betsy Ashton, Lizzie Bennett, Joss Burnell, Michele Cashmore, Natalie Cooper, Lucie Hurtubise, Jacqueline King, and Heather Spears.

Thanks to all for your loving and caring support as I worked on this project. Nothing is accomplished in a vacuum.

I also want to express my gratitude to family members who added value to my work by asking questions, listening carefully to my answers, then asking more questions. Their interest in me, in my life and my book, and in what I was doing helped to grow my awareness of the worth of my work.

Thank you Wendy Barry, Reagan Church, Jennifer Church, Gaye Derbes, Denny Gomez, Angela Phillips, and Adam Mullins.

"In the beginning, any personal change isn't easy because you are asking yourself to confront your own self-made comfort zone. The real transformation to the new you, is one that will not only take time, but a healthy dose of perseverance.

After all, no transformation is easy or everyone would have already made the shift."

—Byron Pulsifer

The use of Self and self

Throughout this book you will see the use of Self and self. They are not interchangeable.

Carl Jung describes the true Self as a dimension of human personality. He calls this the Self with a capital S. This Self refers to our center, our soul and spirit, the image of God/Goddess within. It is our more evolved nature which aligns itself with humility, gratitude, love, compassion, courage, enlightenment, joy, acceptance, reason, and willingness.

The small self is the part of us with which we identify. It is our false self, our ego. A healthy ego with boundaries is crucial to healthy functioning. It is when the ego becomes egocentric that problems develop.

As we attempt to protect ourselves from the wounds and traumas of life, we create defense structures to protect the ego. The more we build and defend these structures, the further away from Self we move.

The self is vulnerable to flattery, and aligns itself with hopelessness, depression, hate, anxiety, regret, despair, blame, shame, and revenge. It is our ego.

Pronouns Used

The pronouns we, us, and our are used in the reading portion of each page. This was done to simulate the experience of having the readings sound like you and I are having a personal conversation.

Definition of Process

A process is an act of proceeding, a series of actions or operations that definitely are conducive to producing an end result. To proceed means to go forward.

At the end of the reading for each day, there is a suggested process. Some processes require more than others, but they are all there for the same purpose, which is to assist the reader in furthering the lesson for the day.

The level of personal transformation you can achieve from this book will be enhanced if you will take the time to work each process. Remember, when working the processes, no one will see your answers but you.

Using this Book

May is the only month that is a continuation of a previous month—in this case, February. These two months focus on discovery, and because some of the processes may be a little intense, I decided to put breathing space between them.

However, you can start the book in May, if you so choose. I do recommend you start at the beginning of a month since each month is themed.

Disclaimer

The processes in this book are not intended to replace one-on-one personal therapy with a qualified practitioner.

While working the processes in this book, you will be asked to take deep, conscious breaths. The following pages will help to explain and assist you in becoming familiar with this process.

Basic Conscious Breathing Process

A perfect example of what deep breathing looks like can be seen when we watch babies sleep. You will notice how, as they breathe, you can actually see their belly rise and fall with each inhale and exhale. A healthy breath begins in the abdomen, moves upward toward the chest, and is released downward through the abdomen.

Dr. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD., life coach, author and speaker, posits that most of us, as we were growing, whenever we heard negative comments that served to diminish who we were, stopped breathing deeply into our abdomens. When we felt threatened and were in the fight-or-flight mode, we learned to take shallow breaths. Over a lifetime of being scrutinized and molded into what others thought we should be, we developed a means of moving away from ourselves. Fight-or-flight breathing is called survival breathing, and taking shallow breaths on a daily basis is how we keep ourselves alienated from our deeper knowledge of who we really are. This is how most of us breathe on a daily basis.

Shallow breathing causes our brain to be oxygen deprived. This results in our heart rate increasing, in an effort to bring adequate oxygen so the brain can function optimally. It is a good practice to take a deep breath every thirty minutes in order to keep our brain oxygenated.

In order to find our way back to our Spirit and to our center, we must retrain ourselves how to take deep, conscious breaths. Throughout this book, when you are asked to take deep breaths, please use the following Learning to Breathe Deeply instructions.

Learning to Breathe Deeply

Natural breathing is whole-body breathing. It involves the harmonious interplay of the lungs, diaphragm, belly, chest, back, and other parts of the body. According to the Mayo Clinic, on a physical level, deep breathing may slow down the part of your nervous system that manages blood flow, which can lower your blood pressure. Deep breathing can also be beneficial to stress management and cardiovascular health.

How we normally breathe:

Place your hands on your chest and inhale a shallow breath. Notice how it feels. This is more than likely the way you normally breathe. This type of breathing increases your anxiety. Shallow breathing uses only your chest.

Deep breathing: Sit in a comfortable place, and relax by dropping your shoulder and letting your neck go limp. Close your eyes, place your hands on your diaphragm, and inhale slowly through your nose while silently counting to five. Marcelle Pick, on the Women to Women website, suggests visualizing your lungs filling up like a balloon. Feel your abdomen expand as it fills with air. If you’re looking at your abdomen you can actually see it rise with the inhale.

Exhale slowly through your nose as you count to five. Let your lungs empty. You might try seeing the balloon emptying. You will see your abdomen go flat as the air leaves your belly.

What happens when you breathe deeply:

On the inhale, the diaphragm moves downward, massaging all of the organs, and the energetic wave of breath moves upward through the entire body, opening the belly, chest, back, and lungs.

On the exhale, the diaphragm moves upward massaging the heart, and the wave of breath moves downward closing the lungs, chest, back, and belly.

This movement of the diaphragm massages the liver, stomach, and other digestive organs, as well as your heart. This helps detoxify the organs, balance the nervous system, promote blood circulation, and efficiently pump lymphatic fluid.

In humans, natural breathing occurs through the nose, which filters, warms, and moisturizes the air.

When you practice staying present in the moment by deep breathing, you can monitor your breathing rhythm so that you can keep your brain oxygenated. An oxygenated brain helps you stay connected to your higher Self.

Practice paying attention to your breath.

Be grateful for your breath that sustains you.

As you breathe deeply, you take in more life,

and as you push out your exhale,

you release tension and stress.

Suggested websites:

www.authentic-breathing.com

www.livestrong.com/article/367444-breathing

www.ezinearticles.com/?Breathing-In-and-Into-the-Moment&id=3574360

Foreword

I HAVE AN ASSORTMENT of daybooks, which range from communing with nature, and lessons from the Tao, to surviving addiction, writing poetry, and creative living. I’m partial to daily meditation guides. I picked up my first one in the 1980’s, and have followed one every year. Like a map, a daybook gives me direction for the day and for life, and helps me stay true to my path. It also serves as a daily ritual that keeps me grounded.

I have always been a student of life, and I believe we come to this planet to learn. Earth is school, and life is our teacher. Some of life’s lessons I’ve learned quickly. Others I’ve had to repeat. One constant in this journey is that Spirit does not allow me to move on to the next lesson until I learn what I need to know, in order to transform into my authentic Self.

As a child, I was very inquisitive. I was a seeker and didn’t know it, because I didn’t understand what a seeker was. I always suspected there was something more in life than what my family and religion were telling me, but I certainly did not know what it was. Because of my inability to be satisfied with the status quo, I lived in a space of not quite fitting in. I felt like an outsider. What others accepted, I questioned, even though I didn’t know why or what I was questioning. I didn’t want to be different or not fit in; it just was my path in life.

I’ve gone from the valley to the mountaintop, from brilliant sunshine to the blackest of nights, and from loss that has broken my heart to gains that made me shout with exhilaration. I’ve lost pseudo relationships and gained real love, I’ve lost a house that was made of sticks and stones and found a home, and I’ve let go of my life as I knew it and gained my soul.

In the 1960’s, I suffered from depression and anxiety. I had panic attacks on a daily and nightly basis. Fear and panic would settle into my being every day as the sun began to set. I’d walk the floor during the night, or read for hours, until I’d fall asleep, exhausted. I didn’t really sleep—I dozed. I was afraid to close my eyes, and I didn’t know what I was afraid of. I slept the best when the sun came up, because I felt safer in the daylight.

I took anti-depressants and saw a psychiatrist. Neither helped me. I was overwhelmed with panic, and I wanted to run for my life—but didn’t. I couldn’t figure where to run to, nor did I know what I was running from.

In the 1970’s, I decided God was punishing me for all the bad things I had done, so I decided to do what I could to draw near to him. In my search for redemption and peace, I turned to evangelical religion. This was new for me because I was raised in a Catholic home.

For almost four years I thought I’d found my answer. The panic attacks lessened, and my life felt a little more in balance. But there was still a lingering emptiness and hunger, and it became evident religion was not the solution. The box they put God in was far too small, and eventually I knew I had outgrown it. It was time to move on.

In the early 1980’s, I turned to career building as a way to fill what was missing in life. I went to college, got a degree, and managed a large orthodontic practice. I later opened a management consulting firm and became a consultant, a public speaker, and a seminar and workshop leader. Career and financial success felt good, but my soul was still searching.

In the late 1980’s, I was introduced to the concepts of personal transformation, healing the inner child, and the path of spirituality. I found a female therapist who was on a spiritual journey. She knew the path to walk to get through the dark places of life, and she showed it to me. This was the beginning of the end of my depression and panic attacks.

It’s now been over twenty years since I put my foot on the healing path and I’ve learned two important lessons: 1) I need to continuously focus on the essence of who I am, a child of creator energy, a Spirit being having a human experience, and 2) I need to remember the work I am doing to uncover my authentic Self is like peeling an onion. It is not a one-time fix—it is layer by layer, till I get to the core.

Albert Einstein said, No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. If we continue to ask the same questions and make the same choices that have not worked, we will keep getting the same results. To move forward into new territory requires having enough light to see the pitfalls, and the willingness to move away from that which does not serve us into that which is life-affirming.

This transformational daybook incorporates many of the lessons I’ve learned on my journey from darkness to light. I trust it will add value to your personal journey and will enable you to experience your heart’s desires.

Brenda Lightfeather Marroy

blmarroy@yahoo.com

Facebook.com/StreamsOfConsciousness

BrendaMarroyAuthor.com

Introduction

THE SCIENCE OF MUMMIFYING bodies is attributed to the practice of alchemy, which some believe was born in ancient Egypt.

When Alexander the Great conquered Egypt in 332 B.C., Greek philosophers became interested in Egypt’s sacred science of mummification. The Greeks merged their belief in the Egyptian sacred science along with the four elements of nature: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water.

Alchemy then spread to China, where the Taoist monks pursued both the outer elixir, which consisted of minerals and plants, etc., and the inner elixir, such as Qigong. India, who developed alchemy independently, had similar beliefs as the Chinese.

Alchemy was introduced to the west in the 8th Century, when the Arabs brought it to Spain. From there, it quickly spread to the rest of Europe. Eventually, by the 16th century, the alchemists in Europe had separated into two groups:

The science of Chemistry, which focused on the discovery of new compounds and their reactions.

The more spiritual, metaphysical side, which looked at man’s search for immortality and the transmutation of base metals into gold.

Modern day Alchemy is defined as a power or process of transforming something common into something special.

—Merriam Webster

The practice of Alchemy as used in the context of this book is about the evolution, or transmutation, from where we are in life to where we wish to be. Alchemy of the soul is what happens when we transform from ordinary human beings into ones who grows their consciousness from a lower level to a higher level of awareness.

In order to get from one place to the other, we have to go beyond wishful thinking, and gather to ourselves the elements needed to achieve our desired transformation. In Alchemy 365, the elements we learn to work with are presence, discovery, possibility, gratitude, passion, embracing change, stillness and silence, peace, and purpose.

Each month has a theme whose purpose is to help us establish where we are in key areas of our life. Each day has a quote, a reading or a meditation, and a process or an exercise. The purpose of the processes is to assist you in taking an honest look at where you are, what you really believe, and how you feel about life. The processes are designed to bring you to your truth, so I encourage you to work them honestly and fearlessly.

One stage of Alchemy is the melanosis, where everything turns black inside the vessel containing all the Alchemical elements. Remember, you are this vessel, and that black stage is absolutely essential. Jung said this stage represents the first contact with the unconscious, which may be shocking to some. If you feel like quitting at any time, I encourage you to press on, remembering what you want.

I hope you will relax in the knowledge that you are in the process of transforming your life and creating something magical. Turning the common into a life lived on purpose—one that is filled with satisfaction and happiness—is a worthwhile endeavor.

Be your own Alchemist. Decide what you want and let it happen.

Alchemy is a spiritual metaphor for reaching our full potential.

—Paulo Coehllo

JANUARY

Beginnings

To read a poem in January is as lovely

as to go for a walk in June.

—Jean-Paul Sartre

JANUARY IS NAMED FOR the Roman god, Janus, a God of gates and doors. Janus is usually depicted with two faces, and is representative of contemplation. He is said to be looking behind at the old, while contemplating what lies ahead, the new.

Since Janus is a keeper of doors, it is fitting that our theme for January is beginnings. The month’s readings focus on shutting the door on the old and opening the door to the new.

Each day’s readings are designed to expand your thinking and prepare you for growth, transformation, and new adventures.

I have learned that each day presents me with the opportunity to create anew. I wake up and face my day with a blank canvas. Yesterday is gone, today is a new beginning. I can draw anything I want on my canvas, and so can you.

I encourage you to practice drawing on your canvas every day this month. Practice creates excellence. Begin today.

JANUARY 1

The longest journey of any person is the journey inward.

—Dag Hammarskjold

We become attached to that which is familiar, and think that’s who and what we are. It’s when we feel the longing for something more that we open to the realization of what we really want, which is to recover our Self. (Some may call this our soul.)

Many search for authenticity in jobs, education, stuff, money, and relationships. We may find bits of self, or ego, in these things, however that part of us which split off when we were children, our core being who went into hiding, is within.

Process

In order to find the parts that are missing, we may need to separate from the familiar.

What does a journey within and separating from the familiar mean to you?

Write your thoughts in your journal or notebook.

~ ~ ~ ~

JANUARY 2

When I started on my journey, I not only had no clue who I was,

I also did not know how or what I was feeling,

nor what I really liked and wanted in life.

—Brenda Lightfeather Marroy

I am learning, as I put one foot in front of the other, what really matters to me. I’m identifying my truth on a daily basis.

I thought I was a complete extrovert. I found out I was actually introverted and enjoyed being alone.

I thought something was wrong with me and that I’d somehow missed the boat in life. I found out I’m really okay.

I thought I was happy-go-lucky and knew it all. I found out two important things: I was masking deep pain, and I had a lot to learn about myself and life.

My desire to know myself has been the most intense, interesting, healing, and exhilarating journey of my life.

Process

Relax and take three deep breaths.

Answer this question: Who do you think you are?

Write your thoughts in your journal or notebook.

~ ~ ~ ~

JANUARY 3

More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin.

—Anonymous

Because of fear of failure, some shy away from new ventures, relationships, jobs, etc. Others do not try something different because of fear of success.

It’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to succeed. Both can be powerful experiences.

Process

Are you afraid of failure or success, or both?

Can you identify a time in your life when you did not try something due to either fear?

~ ~ ~ ~

JANUARY 4

Men often become what they believe themselves to be.

If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it, even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.

—Mahatma Gandhi

Believe yourself to be your dream. You may not