Convergence Healing: Healing Pain with Energetic Love

INTRODUCTION

My Convergence Healing

When Peter brought me on as his coauthor, I knew very little about his work. I figured that I would spend some time with a bright fellow, brush up on a few good life skills, turn in the book’s manuscript promptly, and be on my way to the next new and interesting job. Instead, I now literally organize my life into "before Convergence Healing and after Convergence Healing."

You see, instead of partnering on this self-help book with a writer who already had his own hearty grasp on his mental, physical, and spiritual well-being, Peter took the more challenging route; he would be working alongside a writer who was bogged down by unique, finely aged insecurities and plagued with anxiety issues that ran so deep they often left me unable to write for hours or days at a time. What could possibly go wrong?

Somehow, I had learned to live with a nearly crippling brew of unresolved trauma that felt like it was an integral part of myself. When I began working with Peter, my concept of who I was began to sort itself out; this is sometimes the unexpected bonus of working with a gifted expert. As I got to know Peter and his healing methodology, my mind began to open up and unfold like a flower. I felt like I was on the verge of some huge shift, but of course change didn’t initially look the way I hoped it would.

Early in my work with Peter, a long-term business partnership of mine began to crumble just as the project that I had poured my heart and soul into was about to really launch. I tried everything I could think of to salvage the situation, but eventually all my efforts (and the project) led nowhere. This was devastating for me professionally, but it also fed the insecure child trapped inside of me, the little boy who had been bullied and teased and who always feared and prepared for the worst.

I realized that this was the true gift of working alongside Peter; finally I would learn how to mend my broken spirit and restore my untrusting heart.

Peter and I began to meet every Wednesday morning in a beautiful shaded park. I felt so lucky sitting across a stone picnic table from a perfectly flawed human being who had done the hard work of learning how to get out of his own way. He let his pain guide him to a way of being in the world that was truly joyful and free. Through Peter’s example, I began to understand that if I was willing to not only pay attention to my pain but do so in a more loving way, instead of automatically drugging it or scorning it, my pain could tell me what it needed to heal.

Peter believes in integration. He believes in calling all the lost, disparate, rejected pieces of ourselves home. He believes that we can and should feel as one in our own bodies. As I began to personally experience what he was talking about, I agreed with and began to trust Peter and his process more and more. We came to call his method Convergence Healing.

I was no easy convert. In fact, I came to my work with Peter full of skepticism. There he was, Peter Bedard, hypnotherapist extraordinaire, sitting across from me, outlining his method of healing and telling me how gratifying it has been for him to watch thousands of people benefit from it. Meanwhile, there I was, smiling and nodding my head while a chorus of traitorous voices flooded my thoughts with doubt and disbelief.

The harder Peter and I worked together, the more my subconscious tried to stave off change of any kind, healthy or not. Convergence Healing was going to work very nicely for Peter’s clients—it just would not work for me. The resistance I faced was formidable.

Even though I was racked with pain and paranoia, had recently lost the hair at my crown and was sporting a new bald spot, and was having trouble sleeping for the first time in my life, my subconscious wanted nothing to do with change. Sure, my comfort zone was suffocating me, but I was a good prisoner and had no intention of leaving the oppressive emotional prison that my pain had constructed around me.

But then, some really transformative shifts began to happen.

One of the bedrock tenets of Peter’s process is that each of us wields power that we must learn to harness and use for our higher good, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I had to take responsibility and acknowledge how powerful my thoughts were. I had to commit to better, wiser thinking and give up being a languid slave to automatic negative thoughts.

Initially, I was afraid to accept this potent call to action. Once I picked up that one of the first keys to creating my own health was becoming more mindful of my everyday thinking, little but no-less miraculous things started to happen: my finances flourished, highly regarded people stepped forward to support my creative work, and someone even offered me a beautiful, serene space in which to work. By assuming personal responsibility for my thinking, I was beginning to care for my overall well-being. I had taken my first step.

Convergence Healing entails giving up any identity as the victim in our own lives. To do this, I needed to identify the habitual dysfunctional behavioral loops that kept me from getting beyond the cycle of feeling wounded, which always led to me feeling worse than before. By providing actionable lessons and tools to help strip away any need for blame, I was able to let go of the poor me Brian I had become so fond of. This was radically freeing.

The more Peter taught me about the way the subconscious mind actually operates, the more I was able to identify all of the really ingenious distractions I had created so that I would not have to recognize the pain I was in. Suddenly, I was onto myself. I was beginning to get that it did not matter what self-sabotaging behavior I engaged in. Whatever it was, it only served to keep the focus off myself. Just like the rest of the human race, I had created a nearly limitless array of beards that cloaked my true pain from me and kept me from getting the message my pain so desperately needed me to understand. Unfortunately, these crafty techniques only pull us further away from our true selves and seriously hamper any ability to live the lives of dignity and grace we all yearn for.

Next, I had to get comfortable with all my discomfort, and there was a lot of it. Once I made the commitment, however, I got curious and found that I was talking to myself in the car a lot. I dialogued with my gnarly, unhappy parts and learned to understand and make peace with them. Sure, I got a few weird looks in traffic, but for once, I did not care about what others were thinking of me. I was too energized dismantling my old ways of thinking.

In one mind-blowing mini-conversation, I took a moment to assure the knee of my slightly shorter leg, the knee that always gave me problems, that I loved and appreciated it as much as the knee on my slightly longer (stronger) leg. Instantly, and I mean instantly, I felt a rush of energy surge into my knee—it felt tingly, warm, and right, like it was filling in an empty space that had needed filling for a long time. I have never had any problems with my knee since.

With my sense of responsibility in regard to my health clearly in the right space, with no whiny sense of victimhood allowed (for very long)—and armed with the knowledge that my pain is something that must be listened to and honored so it can finally heal—I was able to carefully craft my intention for perfect health. For me, this last step became a very important reminder, a beacon in the dark to rely upon whenever I felt sad, lazy, or sentimental for the blissfully ignorant sod I used to be.

As I mentioned earlier, the universe seemed more than willing to support my new, healthier goals. It was like the net would not appear unless I made the firm decision to take my health into my own hands and really go for it. I was so sick of living half a life and never believing that anything wonderful was meant for me.

At times, I was furious and restless. Other times, I was sad and lethargic. The more Peter’s first steps resonated within me, the more I began to notice that I was beginning to act, feel, and behave better.

I like to use the image of a gum ball machine to illustrate my own transformation. Before I met Peter, my gum ball machine was filled with the black, stale memories and imprints of my previous experiences. Every morning, these would drop into my mind and fill my head with terrible thoughts, sometimes before my feet even hit the floor. Several months into my healing process, the gum ball machine began to fill with a fresh rainbow assortment of thoughts and feelings. Oh, there were still some black gum balls in the mix, but they were not the only thoughts that would drop out of my subconscious upon waking.

Every morning after I shower, I clean the water spots off the glass shower door with a squeegee. I loathe this task, but I get into trouble if I do not do it. Once I had committed to the Convergence Healing path, I realized I could dedicate this time to a mini-meditation and verbally express how happy, healthy, and grateful I felt for my life, all while performing a daily chore that I usually hate.

I stopped listening to depressing news on the radio and stuck to classical music. I found that my time in the garden could do so much more for my spirit than I ever realized if I stayed more present while being there. While my senses felt heightened in a curious way, I also felt more connected to everything around me.

Here I was, making little changes and adjustments to my thinking while performing many of the same tasks I had always done, but now, all those little moments seemed more real and meaningful to me. I began to go through days where I did not even know how to feel or act outside of the overbearing, shrill, negative voice in my head reminding me that everyone knows that I suck. Instead, Peter kept encouraging me to take control of my mind and use my thoughts to support a new, healthier way of living.

I felt more alive with everything I was doing, from writing to brushing my teeth to gardening to washing dishes. It was like everything mattered more because I was actively bonding with everything around me instead of being so afraid. I know that sounds corny, but it is very true. (It is no coincidence that my garden also looked more fabulous than ever.) My vibrant flowers are, to me, an accurate reflection of all my positive interior changes.

My energy level felt like it came from a deeper, much more potent source, like it was no longer just me pouring fuel into my tank. I was somehow receiving help from a power higher than me, Peter, or his program. I felt connected. The more hang-ups I let go of, the faster I responded to banishing bad thoughts, and the less pain I was in. I was flabbergasted at how long the list was of things that no longer bothered me so much, which Peter had asked me to put together.

Now that I was calmer and more centered, it was time to incorporate the final steps of Peter’s compassionate healing program into my daily regimen. I still had to develop mind, body, and spirit exercises for myself. God bless the universe, for it really seemed to be reaching out to support me.

On the mind level, I had been examining my thinking for a while by working with a talented psychotherapist. I did not let up on this, and my work got deeper, messier, and more real and intense. With him, I was learning to appreciate and like myself again, in spite of my faults.

At a party I almost did not go to, I met a teacher who leads healing meditation sessions, just two blocks from my home. So I went. Meditation, something I had never before taken seriously, really clears the mind and helps me hear myself better. Some days, after meditating, I feel as if my mind has been massaged. I am definitely more comfortable with silence. My discernment is keener. I can sense when a thought or a behavior is not going to enhance my health, and so I’m able to redirect myself before I take that misstep.

As for my body exercises, one day I discovered a newly renovated park with exercise equipment and a track only four blocks away from my house. And just driving by it, I found that my body craved exercise.

So I began jogging. Jogging in the morning lets my body know that I am willing to start each day focused on my health. The repetition of the laps I run helps me work on my patience. Seeing so many dogs at the park makes my soul smile. Mind, body, and spirit are all being addressed as I run my measly ten laps. Wait, I mean as I run my mighty ten laps.

On a spirit level, I realized that I wanted to begin reading fiction books for fun again. I had not picked up a book simply because it tickled my fancy in years. I did not realize how much I missed the decadence of dedicating an afternoon to getting lost in a good, old-fashioned story. I also made regular dates with myself to visit used-book stores. There is nothing like them!

More changes for the better kept happening, and I could not deny it. Was all this actually due to engaging in these various Convergence Healing practices? I believe the answer is a resounding yes.

My own Convergence Healing continues to be incredibly life-changing. I feel happy and optimistic (again) and am determined not to get in my own way (anymore). Convergence Healing is easy to follow, totally noninvasive, and deeply soulful. Now, whenever I recognize some kind of pain, be it mental, physical, or more, I pay careful attention. You too will learn that pain is not the enemy and in fact may be your greatest teacher. Thank you, Peter!

—Brian Sheffield Hunt

CHAPTER ONE

The Gift of Pain

Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.

—Eckhart Tolle

Where does it hurt?

I know this seems like an odd way to begin a book, but I honestly want to know: Are you, at this very moment, experiencing some kind of pain? Is your heart aching? Are your bones or back bothering you? Is your spirit agitated or restless? I’m guessing that, more than likely, you are murmuring yes.

That’s because pain is the great unifier and leveler; all of us wonderful human beings, no matter how rich, smart, or loved we are, experience debilitating pain at some point in our lives. This pain may be physical, or it may be spiritual or emotional. Or it may be all three. What I’ve come to understand is that pain is one of the most potent forces we will ever encounter, and I’ve devoted my life to helping as many people as I can understand that pain can be a force for good.

So, tell me. Are you in pain?

When I recently posed the question to a circle of friends, the range of responses I received confirmed what I’ve come to know: all of us experience pain in one form or another, and most of us allow our pain to limit our beliefs about who we are and what we can do. Here are a smattering of the responses I received:

The first thing that comes to my mind is limitation. Not being able to do what I want because of being in too much physical pain.

I knew I was in intense pain when I did not feel anything. I could tell it was my body protecting me from something it knew I could not handle yet.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of pain is the horrible pain of addiction—right before I finally waved the white flag. No physical pain has ever come close.

Root canal!!!!!!

The pain of losing a loved one. For me, it was almost unbearable.

When I think of pain, I think of being alone. That is the worst possible pain.

According to data released by the International Association for the Study of Pain and the European Pain Federation and endorsed by the World Health Organization, pain reportedly affects one in five people worldwide in the form of mostly moderate to severe chronic pain. With one-fifth of the globe’s population suffering, it is no wonder