You Are Not Alone: Stories of Recovery From My Battle With Anorexia
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About this ebook
This book comes with a disclaimer. All of the thoughts in here are very real and genuine. These are the exact feelings and struggles that I, and many others, have felt and feel in dealing with anorexia. I invite you to look past anorexia as merely a medical diagnosis, and see and sympathize with the very raw feelings one deals with when having an eating disorder. Please read this to understand, and share it with anyone that you feel could benefit from reading it. Through these stories I hope to inspire and open the eyes of those around me, enlightening them to a world that is difficult to understand. Thank you for being a part of my ongoing journey.
Katherine Litwin
Hi everyone! As you have already seen, my name is Katherine Litwin, better known as Katie. I'm 19 years old and live in Westborough, Massachusetts; a small suburb outside of Boston. I was originally born in Toronto, Canada, but moved when I was very young. I am the youngest of four siblings and have a black lab, named Ollie. I currently attend The Pennsylvania State University as a broadcast journalism major, and my ultimate dream is to anchor the news some day. My hobbies are photography, writing poetry, and exercising. I love the outdoors and anything athletic really. Though my weaknesses are shopping and chocolate :) I love meeting new people, learning new things, and traveling to new places. I would love to get to know you if you care to share! Reach out to me if you ever just need someone to talk to!"Everything is OK in the end. If it's not OK, then it's not the end."- Anonymous
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You Are Not Alone - Katherine Litwin
You Are Not Alone: Stories of Recovery From My Battle With Anorexia
Published by Katherine Litwin at Smashwords
Copyright 2015 Katherine Litwin
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Foreword
Prologue
Beginnings
Mental Overload
The Great Drain
With Arms Wide Open
Motivation, Inspiration, Elevation
One Last Goodbye
Connect With Katherine Litwin
Foreword
At this point, you’re reading this right now because you do care. Far beyond anything else I’ve learned in my short, twenty-one-year-long life I’ve learned to embrace the things I do have and don’t dwell on the things that I don’t have. At some point you’re going to want to let go of the demons and let go of the reasons that got you to this point because it’s tiresome and weighing you down. At this point you’re reading this because you know that the only choice now is to either continue to feel trapped, continue to feel lost, continue to feel hated and unsure of yourself, or to make a change, but you’re not sure how. But you’ve made it here, so hold on and hold on tight to what you do have because it’s a long road ahead. When you allow yourself to say yes, I do have an eating disorder, well you already completed step one. Embrace that you have an eating disorder. I know it sounds weird but trust me.
Before I go on, I have to say this story isn’t even about me. My name is Becky. I am Katie’s older sister. Like I said, I am 21 years old and I struggled with my eating disorder for 6 years. I am not going to go into my story because it’s beside the point. I’m here to say that everything Katie says is true. I’m ok with her sharing my story as well as hers because this is what she needs to do. She has amazing insight and I know how much she can help others. For a long time I went back and forth with the idea of letting people into my secret world because it was safe, but instead of hindering her dream to protect myself I would be doing the exact opposite of what I’m telling you to do, which is EMBRACE IT. You never know what can happen if you don’t. Coming from someone else who has been through the battle you need to hear that YOU ARE WORTHY. What did this mean to me? Well the feeling of being worthy, like you deserve it, just doesn’t exist. It took me a while to realize that I am. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of acceptance, and you are worthy of having peace. You are special.
It’s the special ones that get the most difficult challenges, just keep that in mind. It is because we are the ones that can be pushed to the very edges of our world and when we have the decision to sit at the edge and linger in fear, we don’t. We decide to jump. Look at where you are. You are already making improvements. You are reading this, you want to get better, and you have me, you have Katie and thousands of other people that have gone through what you’re facing. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. No matter how much you fall you will always pick yourself back up and fight on. Even just choosing this book is a testament to you facing the struggle head on.
You will develop the wings to fly. So let go of the shit that is weighing you down. Embrace who you are and what you have and everything else will fall into place.
To Katie,
I love you as my sister, as my best friend and as my warrior that has battled next to me as we’ve gone through this crazy ride. You have the most beautiful soul and have one of the kindest hearts ever. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel weak and vulnerable. I am so incredibly proud of you and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself.
Let’s fly Katie!
I love you and I know you will never, ever let me fall.
Love always,
Becks
Prologue
I squinted trying to focus on the words in front of my face. My fingertips squeezed the edges of the pages. In the glow of my phone I could see the salty sweat shimmering on my palms. I could hear the quick turn of the handle of the bathtub. I knew it was beginning. She thought I was asleep. Either that or she didn’t care; she had an addiction that knew no bounds. I was turned on my side struggling to read an assigned book for my senior year AP English class. The book was Fool’s Crow by James Welch. I paused as I heard the retching begin. I held a pillow over my ear tightly and wished for her to stop. But, she didn’t. Tears welled in my eyes as I