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    Controlling Stress in Your Life: Learn How to Establish a Safe and Healthy Lifestyle
    Controlling Stress in Your Life: Learn How to Establish a Safe and Healthy Lifestyle
    Controlling Stress in Your Life: Learn How to Establish a Safe and Healthy Lifestyle
    Ebook207 pages1 hour

    Controlling Stress in Your Life: Learn How to Establish a Safe and Healthy Lifestyle

    By Kaydon A. Stanzione

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    About this ebook

    Do you find yourself, family or friends stressed out or in potentially uncomfortable or dangerous environments? This book serves as an informational companion guide to help you identify and manage stressful and harmful situations, improve your ability to communicate with people, and give you guidance for identifying and dealing with potentially violent people. You can apply this information to help yourself or to assess potentially unsafe lifestyles of other individuals in your family, social group, school, work, or otherwise. For current information on available online tools and other self-help aids, please visit www.AutumnAlert.com. This book is not intended to be a replacement for professional guidance and support. If you are feeling uncomfortable or threatened in any way, seek professional help. If a person’s stress is not properly dealt with, it may lead to rage and violence. We can help ourselves by controlling our emotions and by helping others in our family and social groups to identify stress factors and avoid people and situations that could escalate to rage or violence. To make good choices in your life, it is important to understand your environment and personal associations. This includes understanding yourself and recognizing and avoiding patterns in other people which may be harmful to you.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateMar 2, 2015
    ISBN9781631926891
    Controlling Stress in Your Life: Learn How to Establish a Safe and Healthy Lifestyle

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      Book preview

      Controlling Stress in Your Life - Kaydon A. Stanzione

      family!

      Introduction

      Happily married, I enjoy the company of my wife, family, in-laws, and friends. I am sensitive to any misgivings which any of these individuals may experience, albeit the level to which I am affected is related not only to the adversity but also to whom is affected. I do not like to see anyone suffering from emotional or physical pain, let alone the people that I love.

      As my love grows stronger every day for my wife I find that I can be seriously affected by events that bother her. I can have a great day at work and my friends and family can be safe and happy. However, if my wife is troubled by something, then I too feel her pain. I know this is a natural reaction due to my love for her. As I’m getting older I find that I take on additional emotional, financial, and physical burdens in life to help those that I love; my wife, family, and friends. Oh, I’m not complaining, the rewards of love are well worth the efforts.

      You may have heard the old adage that things, good and bad, come in threes. Good is always good and if there aren’t any bad things around then that’s good! However, sometimes the bad days come by the boat load! It can be a bad day because of work, school, driving, grocery shopping, bouncing a check, a broken down car, headache, and, well I’m sure you get the picture. And some days there’s not one thing going bad for me. But, what about someone else? Someone I know. Someone I love. Or, what about a stranger’s day?

      When I have a bad day, people at the office know it. My wife knows it. But my customers may not know it. Nor may other people know it. However, they too could find out very quickly if they trigger my anger. You know, the straw that broke the camel’s back. I can remember being a kid and aggravating my Mom one too many times. All of sudden my Mom changed from the loving mother to the raging woman screaming at me to stop what I was doing. I love my Mom and she loves me and yes, I certainly stopped aggravating her. While I haven’t forgotten that my Mom scared me with her yelling, I now understand how I gave her reasons to be upset with me.

      The incident with my Mom is just one simple example of how increased stress levels can have a bad effect on people. Growing up I used to hear, Bite your tongue and you can avoid an argument. I used to think that it was my right to respond back to someone who unjustly targeted me as a subject of their problems. If someone yelled at me, I would yell right back. If someone cut me off in my car, I’d make sure they knew I didn’t appreciate their actions. During my teenage years, I felt that people must accept me as is, after all I was the way I was and that wasn’t going to change. How wrong I was!

      I believed that it was my right to stand up for myself and that I shouldn’t let anyone unjustly push me around or victimize me in any way. I still hold these beliefs to be true for all people. However, how I stick-up for these beliefs have drastically changed over the years. Today, I try to recognize the hidden reasons as to what affects people to be angry or hurtful to others. If I don’t know a person, I try to avoid aggravating an already unhealthy situation.

      Many times during conflicts with classmates, co-workers, bosses, my wife, family, friends, and even strangers I have found that it was possible to defuse an aggravating situation by simply biting my tongue or being sympathetic to their problems. While this approach is easy to recommend to others, I found that it wasn’t easy for me to control my own reactions. Instead, I would find that my emotions could quickly take control of my reaction to an event. That is, I would react first, then think about it second. I now understand when my dad used to tell me, Think first before you act. There is something to be said for old adages!

      Controlling my own stress has been a lifelong study in trying to understand myself, accepting my faults, and trying to improve my life. The intentions of this book are to help people improve the quality and safety of their lives or of someone they love. Many people turn to self-help programs for controlling their stress, dealing with domestic violence, improving their lives, and helping their friends and family. Numerous clinical studies illustrate that stress is a precursor to rage and even violence. What is not always so apparent is that elevated levels of stress, whether within yourself or someone else, can have an adverse impact on the quality and safety of your life and those within your environment.

      Many people have told me that the book’s title is misleading. This is because the book addresses issues well beyond simply controlling your stress levels. Stress is the precursor to rage and violence. It may build-up slowly, over quite some time, or it could rapidly escalate within seconds. Controlling stress in your life is not limited to examining stressors within yourself. While we as adults or older teenagers must be accountable for our actions, we must also be aware of how other individuals react to stressful situations.

      We can hurt ourselves and others if we don’t control our stress. Conversely, we can be hurt by others who don’t control their stress. Therefore, we must work together to identify problematic situations or potentially violent or hurtful people and provide intervention before anyone is physically hurt, harassed, or mentally abused.

      This book provides step-by-step guidelines which you can use to tailor to the needs of your particular situation. The book goes beyond theoretical ideas, providing a cookbook approach for identifying stressful individuals and situations, how to avoid confrontations, improving the quality of your life and of those you love, recognizing the warning signs to potentially violent and harmful situations and people, and protecting yourself, your family, and your home.

      If you or someone you know thinks they are in a potentially violent situation, then they are! If someone you love and care about is involved in a violent situation, then you are too! Violence affects everyone. A person does not have to be directly threatened, harassed, or hurt to be a victim. Not only do victims need help, but people who care about victims need help, too.

      To help you identify stress factors in or surrounding your life, please take the Stress Disposition Survey available at www.AutumnAlert.com. The Stress Disposition Survey is designed to help you and people you love to identify the potential of being victimized, isolate a harmful lifestyle, and to better understand how to prioritize risk factors that require improvement. The survey provides a basis for you to start isolating problems or potential problem areas in a systematic approach. This survey may be used by individuals for personal evaluation or to assess someone else’s lifestyle environment.

      Chapter 1 Profiles of Stress, Rage & Violence in the World around You

      Profiles

      There is no one and no place immune to the devastating effects of violence. Recent statistics indicate that violence is rapidly escalating in our homes, workplaces, public facilities, and schools. By examining a sample of recent violent events, we can better understand who, what, why, when, where, and how of stress can manifest itself into rage and violence.

      Many individuals are confronted with stress every day of their lives. The sources of stress are numerous. Stress may stem from problems with work, relationships, finances, children, household responsibilities, legal disputes, accidents, health, moving, school, friends, discrimination, chemical dependencies, and many other reasons. Multiple problems can compound stress levels. People may find it difficult to get away and peacefully sort out their problems until they can continue daily with a healthy, happy attitude.

      Studying those aspects of life which are not conducive to establishing a healthy, congenial, and safe environment can provide clues to understanding, identifying, and resolving potential stress factors which can lead to rage and violence. As an individual, only you hold the key to controlling your temper. Whether you are at work, home, school, a public place or other environment, you must prepare yourself to deal with your own emotions and the emotions of people around you.

      An examination of sample acts of stress and violence helps us to better understand that tragedy can be both predetermined and randomly caused by the least suspecting person. The sample cases presented will illustrate acts of violence that should have been avoided. Lessons learned from analyzing the chain of events associated with these and other examples have provided valuable information regarding warning signs, preventative measures, conflict resolution, trauma response, and other pertinent issues which formulate the basis of this program.

      Several examples of violence will be presented which illustrate how stress-induced situations lead to violent acts. These examples typify some of the troubles which plague individuals, their families and friends today. Please note that not all acts of domestic violence arise from family or relationship problems. Examining random acts of violence can also help us to understand the warning signs evident in people, thus aiding in avoiding a conflict. These examples are presented, not to frighten you, but to raise your awareness of the potential for violence in real-life scenarios.

      Example 1-Distraught Mother

      Betty, a young woman with an existing career and pre-school child, recently separated from her husband. She is suddenly thrust into supporting the household and her pre-school child. Betty finds herself alienated from her and her husband’s mutual friends. She

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