Karen's Story
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About this ebook
Karen Gilfillan is the mother of four children. She is a teacher, author, athlete, running, triathlon and Lifestyle coach. "Karen's Story" is a true account of a woman coming to terms with a full-term stillbirth, death of her six-month-old baby girl and the challenges of a three-month premature baby son. The three traumatic experiences touched Karen's life in many ways, introducing her to a world she never knew existed. Throughout the years of loss Karen's most driving force to keep going and help others in similar circumstances was the unconditional love of her three daughters, who were all progressing into junior elite running champions. "Karen's Story" is about the highs and lows of motherhood and the endless love a mother feels for her child, no matter the challenges. "Karen's Story" brings to home how human compassion and empathy for others can help us all to overcome the adversities life presents us with. Karen is currently writing "Karen's Story" (continued), the true account of the Gilfillan families journey after, documenting many successes and a life changing trauma that challenges and sees every member of the family facing ,persevering and finding the courage to continue to see a new day.
Karen Gilfillan
Karen Gilfillan is the mother of four children. She is a teacher, author, athlete , Running, Triathlon and Lifestyle coach. Karens story is a true account of a woman coming to terms with a full-term stillbirth, death of her six month old baby girl and the challenges of a three month premature baby son. The three traumatic experiences touched Karen's life in many ways, introducing her to a world she never knew existed. Throughout the years of loss Karen's most driving force to keep going and help others in similar circumstances was the unconditional love of her three daughters, who were all progressing into junior elite running champions. Karen's story is about the highs and lows of motherhood and the endless love a mother feels for her child, no matter the challenges. Karen's story brings to home how human compassion and empathy for others can help us all to overcome the adversities life presents us with. Karen is currently writing Karen's story continued, the true account of the Gilfillan families journey after, documenting many successes and a life changing trauma that challenges and sees every member of the family facing ,persevering and finding the courage to continue to see a new day.
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Karen's Story - Karen Gilfillan
Karen’s Story
Karen Gilfillan (Achilles)
Copyright 2002 Karen Gilfillan (Achilles)
Published by Karen Gilfillan (Achilles) at Smashwords
This book is copyright. No part may be reproduced by electronic or other means, without the written permission of the publisher.
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This book is copyright. No part may be reproduced by electronic or other means without the written permission of the publisher.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Published by Karen Gilfillan
Telephone: 0477 089 646
E-mail: kachilles.65@gmail.com
ISBN: 0-9581651-0-6
Cover Photograph:
Karen and Courtney
Preface
Karen’s Story is a true story of the life of a woman as she comes to terms with the loss of two children and the survival of a premature baby while raising three other children. Spanning eight years, the book is an account of the highs and lows of motherhood from the shattering realisation of a stillbirth, through the trauma of caring for a terminally ill child, to the dedicated medical staff who enable premature babies to survive against all odds and the development of her other three children into elite athletes.
This book is for mothers, fathers, grandparents and parents to be. It will give anyone who reads it a deeper understanding of what it is truly like to be a mother.
Dedication
To my four beautiful children, my greatest inspiration, my companions, my biggest achievement in life. You are the reason I have been able to write my story in the hope that it can touch some lives like you have touched mine.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank the very special people who I truly love and who will remain with me in my thoughts forever as the people who helped me through the very difficult times.
To my Mum who is still today and will always be even when life separates us physically a great tower of strength for me. She accepts me as I am and is always there, if not in person, in spirit.
I would like to thank Jan Curry, who was my neighbour when I lived in Melbourne. The bond we shared through the tragedy of the loss of my son only she and I know.
I would like to thank my dear friend, Helen Opie who has helped by being a wonderful support to my three girls and myself through the very difficult times.
I would like to thank Carmel and Greg Hayman, two parents of the beautiful Patricia, a very premature miracle baby that survived, like Julian. Together we travelled our children’s journeys offering support and love.
I would like to thank all of the staff at the Mater Hospital in Brisbane, the Royal Brisbane Women’s Hospital as well as the Lismore Base Hospital. To all the people that work in these Hospitals, the Nurses, Doctors, Cleaners, Office workers etc.
I thank all of you for your hard work and dedication as well as showing me a world that has been life changing for me.
Thank you to all the families whose lives became entangled with mine as we lived under the same roof, struggling together through the long hard hours when the news of our loved ones was not good. You will be remembered forever in my heart and never forgotten for all the lessons in life that I learned from you all.
Thank you to the Managers of both the Ronald McDonald houses in Brisbane that made it possible for families to stay together in these difficult times.
To my husband Rob, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for having the courage to face the reality that we travelled different roads during the years, when tragedy struck our family. Also, for believing in me and my own journeys enough to encourage me to write my story, and put into words the very difficult moments of my life.
I love you all, beyond words and thank you for the beauty you bring to my life every day. I would like to remember the very special people that have had a very big influence on my life that are no longer with us. My beautiful strong Grandmother, my Uncle Harry and my very dear friend, Muriel Schiebel, mother of my now close friend Jennie Schiebel. These people are forever in my heart, guiding me and helping me in my difficult times with the special memories that we shared.
CONTENTS
Introduction
Chapter 1 - My Girls
Chapter 2 - Gabriel Gilfillan
Chapter 3 - Life after the Loss of my Son
Chapter 4 - Brittany Gilfillan
Chapter 5 - Life without Brittany
Chapter 6 - Julian Gilfillan
Chapter 7 - Julian comes Home
Chapter 8 - The following Years
Ashlea, Courtney & Jessica East Cape, Marlo, Victoria (1992)
INTRODUCTION
My dreams of motherhood were complete. I had three beautiful daughters; I was pregnant with my fourth child. Pregnancy fulfilled me, as a woman and a mother, even though I suffered morning sickness, bleeding, and three caesarean sections. Caring and loving for my children was never too hard. They gave me a sense of belonging in a world I had struggled with before becoming a mother. Their cuddles and kisses made anything possible. I could never really understand the trauma associated with the loss of a baby or child and wondered how any mother could cope with such a loss, until it happened to me.
As tragedy struck my family it changed our lives forever. We would spend the next few years in and out of Hospitals surrounded by other families whose battles were the same in the hope that their loved ones would make it. It is the world that taught me so much. A world that I never knew truly existed only on television and in newspapers. It is a world that has given me the opportunity to be touched by human compassion and the ability to see us all wanting the same thing - happiness, peace and love.
It is my story of the love, despair and courage to fight on regardless; I truly hope my own experiences will help some of you that are battling right now.
Karen & girls at Marlo – pregnant with Brittany (1995)
Chapter One
MY GIRLS
As I lay in a warm bath I felt the first