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    How Do You Know It's Love
    How Do You Know It's Love
    How Do You Know It's Love
    Ebook94 pages4 hours

    How Do You Know It's Love

    By Frederick Nurse

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    About this ebook

    The material contained in this eBook is formatted to be a working guide. The contents will challenge you to explore profile characteristics in your partnership or marriage that may not be readily obvious.
    Understanding the character traits and core values of our partner permits us to create an effective yardstick to gauge the strength of our union. Useful tools will permit us to measure where we are in the growth of our oneness and where we are headed.
    How well do you know your partner's background? If you are married or contemplating marriage, you are on the threshold of a major undertaking. Be wise and take the time to perform due diligence; the cost of failure is expensive.
    Create a plan or a road map that gives direction to the relationship. Where are things going, and how will you get there? Look at the relationship much as if it is a business in need of management, financing, warehousing and, most of all, a vision. Write out a mission statement and establish mutual goals. This is something all couples should do regularly. How do you know where you are going without the aid of a road map?
    During a dispute, do not, and again, I say, DO NOT SAY SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY THAT WILL OUTLAST THE ARGUMENT! When the filters come off, we have a tendency to say things that are deeply rooted that have been heretofore delicately subdued.
    In the name of love, we are expected to be forgiving. A loved one has disappointed all of us at one time. We gave them all we had, and they slighted us, said or did something cruel, purposely inflicting pain. Where would you draw the line in the sand on the question of forgiveness?
    Success in any relationship rests on our willingness to make time and sacrifice for the sake of the union. An old familiar saying comes to mind, "What you cherish you will always make time for."
    Plan a trip choosing a secluded resort. This is all business; the purpose is to build and strengthen the relationship. You are seeking revelation and expanded insight. The objective is to discuss anything and everything that may be on your mind, no matter how minor. Do not foolishly use this time to criticize one another. You should use the time for strengthening, healing and building. Let it all flow; hold back nothing. Discuss what makes you tick and what it may take to propel your partnership forward.
    Weigh the commitment in your marriage gauging how the relationship is evolving using your yardstick to measure growth. The yardstick markers are trust, commitment, your word, time investment, patience and the giving of self.
    Loving without conditions is the foundation of the greatest love given from one to another. Love begs to be needed, fulfilled and wanted for the sake of its own preservation. Love is no fleeting leaf in the wind; it requires nurturing and safekeeping. Harbor love as a lasting spiritual connection. To say "I love you" is to come from the depth of your being. Give your love freely as an extension of who you are.
    What price would you pay for love? How much of a sacrifice would your soul mate make for you? If life was the cost of love, which of you would pay the ransom?
    We invite you to download this eBook today. You will learn the answers to the many questions presented both here and in the short overview. We know you will find the material thought provoking and of great value to your partnership. This eBook is a must read for those who dare to ask, "How do you know it's love?"

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFrederick Nurse
    Release dateSep 3, 2014
    ISBN9781310435614
    How Do You Know It's Love
    Author

    Frederick Nurse

    Fred Nurse Character and service: Married for 47 years and have six adult children and 11 grandchildren, He worships in Brooklyn, NY, A graduate of Hofstra University, School of Business Retired from medical sales Current Board Member of the Brooklyn Council of Churches, Lecturer on World History Former Sunday School, Served as an Elder in Presbyterian Faith Serves the poor in Brooklyn in numerous Community Programs Awards and Credits: Honored as Father of the year by the County Executive of Nassau County, NY Honored by the Jamaican Business Resource Center for Business Acumen.

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      Book preview

      How Do You Know It's Love - Frederick Nurse

      How Do You Know It’s Love?

      By

      Frederick G. Nurse

      PUBLISHED BY: Frederick G.Nurse on Smashwords

      Copyright © 2014 by Frederick G. Nurse

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      The Yardstick

      TakeNote of Who and What Surrounds Your True Love

      Get aCoach

      TakeYour Time

      WhatWould You Give for Love?

      WhatAbout Yesterday?

      WhyDo You Love Them?

      Aboutthe Author

      Introduction

      Congratulations! You have done everything right and now you are enjoying the rewards of being in love. Doesn’t it feel great? You have the perfect person in your life as a well-deserved blessing. Are you in any way doubtful of your choice? Will friends and family approve? Will this relationship end up like your last love affair? Dangling uncertainties can be unnerving, especially if those jitters pop up while you are standing before the altar.

      When we give our love to someone, we become vulnerable. This can be unsettling. The contents of this eBook will help you to examine and address the following:

      How to know if this relationship is a good fit?

      How to strengthen the love in your partnership?

      What are the demands, cost and sacrifice of love?

      What should you know about your partner?

      How do you know it’s love?

      True love, as a lifelong romantic promise is our focus.

      What love requires

      Love requires assurance and definition. How do you know if the person you surrendered your love to is deserving of your gift? Are there unknotted spaces in this love blanket? How should you approach deep personal issues? Should you pry into your partner’s past and personal affairs? Do you have any of these concerns? If so, this eBook will be helpful.

      The long and arduous paths the two of you are about to take is fraught with unknowns. Having a solid understanding of your partner and their needs is essential. In order to be best prepared, it is important for Character traits and Core values to be understood and appreciated. How well do you really know your partner? Do you know what is beneath their alluring smile? On the other hand, what are they really thinking when they give you that blank stare? What drives your partner? Love requires that you know the answers to these questions.

      Disclaimer

      As we begin the journey to discover how to assess our partner, please note, the author is not a clinical professional. The advisement portrayed in this writing is based solely on the experiences of the author. The information contained is a collection of experiences gained from forty-four years of marriage and the raising of six adult children. Moreover, the principles to be presented have served as guiding benchmarks for the author and many others.

      Step 1. The Yardstick

      Understanding the character traits and core values of our partner will permit us to create an effective yardstick to gauge the strength of our relationship. Having a tool to measure is a good way of knowing where we are in the growth of our oneness. Everything we do, everything around us, is gauged by time, distance, length or weight. There is nothing in the universe that does not adhere to some measurable quantity. The data in this section should be used as a tool to determine what aspects in the relationship need mending. In addition, one can identify how far the partnership has come and the distance it still has to go.

      Notches on the yardstick

      Setting the yardstick can be a challenge. Let us begin by addressing the following questions:

      What are the expectations of your relationship? What must be done to meet those expectations?

      What are some of the things you would like to see your partner change (overeating, a nervous twitch, hygiene, wardrobe or smoking) and is the desired change realistic? With any change there must be an honest desire and a will to change;

      If the clock could be fast-forwarded by five, ten or more years, what would your partnership look like? In addition, how can the two of you work collectively to avoid the normal pitfalls that beset many couples?

      There are short-range and long-range goals you may wish to register on your yardstick. Things like finishing school, getting a new job, starting a new career, better understanding one another’s idiosyncrasies or just becoming better at meeting each other’s needs. These targets are forever evolving in the dynamic growth of the relationship. Couples who have been together for fifty years or better are still evolving. Identify as best you can the things you want to see as measurable achievements of growth in the relationship. In order for it to work, the game plan must be agreeable to both of you. In addition, it is necessary for the notches on the yardstick to be realistic, concise and measurable.

      Character traits

      Character traits are things others would use to describe us, such as affectionate, kind, energetic, giving, hasty, stingy, witty, silly, outspoken, mean-spirited, timid, stingy, well dressed, boastful, well groomed, timely, neat, messy or clean. Character traits are alterable, as one may desire. Take the time and wisely weigh the character strengths or faults in the partnership.

      Core values

      Core values are very often confused with character traits. Here is the difference. Our core values define who we are. Core values are hardened in the soul of the person, such as; leadership, justice, faith, honesty, trustworthy, peaceful, compassionate, giving, faithful, community, leadership, selfishness, loyalty, family-oriented, ethics and the things we uphold with commitment. These precious values constitute what makes the engine of our soul function. This is our moral compass and serves as the basis of our thought patterns. Core values are difficult to change because they are part of our mental DNA. The root components of our core values are our beliefs/principles, how much and the extent to which we are prepared to sacrifice for the sake of a deity, family or community. These components set the stage for how we respond to matters affecting our integrity, family, religion, ethnicity, culture or ethics.

      The major difference between character values and core values is simply this. We will fight and lay down our lives for the preservation of our core values, not our character traits. Men, families, clans, tribes, villages and nations will willingly wage war for the preservation of family, nation and religion or beliefs.

      Matching traits and values

      Before we begin, here is an essential starting point. We must first match the character traits

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