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    Milk and Oranges
    Milk and Oranges
    Milk and Oranges
    Ebook163 pages1 hour

    Milk and Oranges

    By Charlene Wexler

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    About this ebook

    MILK and ORANGES is a collection of short fiction and essays examining life, love, and the tragedy and comedy of human beings.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCharlene Wexler
    Release dateJan 29, 2015
    ISBN9781310486227
    Milk and Oranges
    Author

    Charlene Wexler

    Charlene Wexler is a graduate of the University of Illinois. She has worked as a teacher and dental office bookkeeper and as "a wife, mom, and grandmother," she said. In recent years, Wexler's lifelong passion for writing has led her to create numerous essays as well as fiction. She is the author of the books Lori, Murder Across the Ocean, Murder on Skid Row, and Milk and Oranges. Her work has appeared in several publications, including North Shore Magazine; the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Dentistry's Vision magazine; Alpha Omegan magazine; the book and CD Famous Poets of the Heartland: A Treasury of Beloved Family Poems, Talent, OR: Famous Poets Press, 2014; and the Gazette newspaper of Chicago. She also has had essays and fiction published on the websites AuthorsDen.com, The Best Short Stories, Cat Stories, Cats and Dogs at Play, End Your Sleep Deprivation.com, Funny Cat Stories, Funny Cats Playing, Funny Passport Stories, Laughter Is My Medicine, Moral Short Stories-Ethical Tales, One Bright Star.org, Scribd.com, Short Stories for Women, True Cat Stories, and Way Cool Dogs.com. Wexler's first novel, Murder on Skid Row, was published in 2010. It is the story of a double-murder on Chicago's Skid Row in the 1960s. Murder on Skid Row won an international Apex Award of Excellence from Communications Concepts, a writing think tank outside Washington, DC. Published as an e-book on Smashwords and as a print edition by Central Park Communications in 2012, Milk and Oranges, is a collection of her short fiction and essays examining life, love, and the tragedy and comedy of the human condition. Whether she is tackling fiction or essays, Wexler writes from the heart. With a keen eye for detail and a way of looking at the world a bit sidewasy, wexler's writings in Milk and Oranges entertain while they make you think. Milk and Oranges received a Bronze Award in the Women's Issues category of the eLit Book Awards competition sponsored by the publishing services firm Jenkins Group Inc. of Traverse City, MI, and a rare international Grand Award in the Apex Awards competition by Communications Concepts in 2012. In 2014, Charlene published two novels as e-books on Smashwords and Amazon Kindle: Lori, a family saga spanning several decades, and Murder Across the Ocean, a murder mystery set in England. Murder Across the Ocean also is available from Amazon as a paperback. Her sho...

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    • 5/5
      Milk and Oranges is a collection of short fiction and essays examining life, love, and the tragedy and comedy of the human condition. Whether she is tackling fiction or essays, Charlene Wexler writes from the heart. With a keen eye for detail and a way of looking at the world a bit sideways, Wexler’s writings in Milk and Oranges will entertain while they make you think.In Milk and Oranges, Wexler’s fiction and essays are grouped in five categories.How’s Your Love Life? features two fiction pieces that will cause female readers to nod their heads in agreement, and a warm essay on Wexler’s feelings for her husband, Sam.The Cruel Club features both essays and fiction on the tragedy of the death of a child. Wexler has been a member of the Cruel Club since 1981.In Family and Friends, you’ll meet some of the fun characters in Wexler’s life and in her fiction, and inevitably you’ll think about similar loved ones in your own world. The story “Milk and Oranges,” from which the title of this book is derived, appears in this section.What would life be without our animal pals? Wexler shares some stories about four-footed friends and loved ones in Animal Magnetism.The Passing Parade features Wexler’s fiction and prose observations on the changes in our fast-paced world.After reading Milk and Oranges, you’ll see why Wexler’s first novel, Murder on Skid Row, was honored with an Apex Award for excellence. Her style makes you feel as if you are reading about or talking to dear friends.Milk and Oranges is a collection of stories that will pluck at your heartstrings and tickle your funnybone.

    Book preview

    Milk and Oranges - Charlene Wexler

    Dedication

    In memory of Jeffery

    and in honor of Lily, Bella, and Sage

    Table of Contents

    Dedication

    Foreword

    How’s Your Love Life?

    1. The Lost Keys

    2. The Blind Date

    3. Sam

    The Cruel Club

    4. The Cruel Club

    5. Motorcycles Are Dangerous

    6. Abracadabra Magic

    7. Boundaries

    8. The Ballet Dancer

    9. The Two Boys

    Family and Friends

    10. Thank God They Came

    11. The Forbidden Room

    12. A Friend from the Past

    13. Interiors

    14. So This Is Retirement

    15. Milk and Oranges

    16. Chaos in a Quiet Neighborhood

    17. Mah Jongg Mondays

    18. An Absent Friend

    19. On the Road Again

    20. No Rules

    21. No More Free Pie

    22. Aunt Millie

    23. A Letter to my Parents from a Woman Approaching Seventy

    Animal Magnetism

    24. The Chipmunk Who Came To Dinner

    25. It Was On the Back Porch

    26. Charlie, Our Therapist

    27. Violet’s Revenge

    28. Cat-ching On

    The Passing Parade

    29. I Was So Confused

    30. The Cell Phone Store

    31. Electronic Takeover

    32. Another Legendary Restaurant Gone

    33. To the Country

    34. Yesterday’s Cars

    35. Ironing

    36. Why I Stopped Biking

    37. Why I Gave Up Dieting

    About the Author

    Permissions

    Photo Credits

    Foreword

    Whether she is tackling fiction or essays, Charlene Wexler writes from the heart. With a keen eye for detail and a way of looking at the world a bit sideways, Char’s writings in Milk and Oranges will entertain while they make you think.

    In Milk and Oranges, Char’s fiction and essays are grouped in five categories.

    How’s Your Love Life? features two fiction pieces that will cause female readers to nod their heads in agreement, and a warm essay on her feelings for her husband, Sam.

    The Cruel Club features both essays and fiction on the tragedy of the death of a child. Char has been a member of the Cruel Club since Sept. 11, 1981.

    In Family and Friends, you’ll meet some of the characters in Char’s life and Char’s fiction, and inevitably you’ll think about similar loved ones in your own world. The story Milk and Oranges, from which the title of this book is derived, appears in this section.

    What would life be without our animal friends? Char shares some stories about four-footed friends and loved ones in Animal Magnetism.

    The Passing Parade features Char’s fiction and prose observations on the changes in our fast-paced world.

    After reading Milk and Oranges, you’ll see why Char’s first novel, Murder on Skid Row, was honored with an Apex Award for excellence. Her style makes you feel as if you are reading about or talking to dear friends.

    Milk and Oranges is a collection of stories that will pluck at your heartstrings and tickle your funny bone. Enjoy! William Bike

    How’s Your Love Life?

    1. The Lost Keys

    Standing in the middle of the block in front of my new sports car, digging into my purse and going through my pockets, I mumbled to myself, Where did I put those damn keys?

    My fingers were turning blue from the ten-degree temperature, and the rest of me was freezing from standing in snow. I walked down the street and entered a small coffee shop. I settled into a booth and proceeded to empty my purse all over the table. Out of that purse fell makeup, combs, a toothbrush, my wallet, pens, an appointment book, candy, wrappers, my cell phone, a compass, rubber bands, cellophane tape, a tape measure, and tissues, but no keys.

    I took my cell phone and called the Brills, with whom I had just tried my hardest to get them to love one of the houses I was hoping to sell them. No keys, and no request to see me again.

    What a wasted trip, and now I can’t even get out of this place, I thought.

    I called my husband, Gary. Honey, I lost my keys and can’t get into the car. Will you rescue me?

    He was less than sympathetic. Again you lost your keys? Jesus, Susan, I just got home. There’s a blizzard out there. Did you look everywhere?

    Yes, I’ve been looking for the last hour.

    Susan, where are you?

    I don’t even know. I got so lost finding this place.

    Just give me an address.

    OK, 2278 Orchard. But that’s the Brills’ house. I’m really three blocks down the street in a coffee shop.

    Fine, I’ll get the extra keys and find you.

    I sat down and threw everything back into my purse, and waited. I motioned to the waitress. Coffee, please.

    About fifteen minutes later instead of picking me up, Gary called about the extra keys. I’ve been looking everywhere, and I can’t find them, he said. I have a meeting in a half hour. Call Audi.

    Thanks a lot! I yelled, and hung up.

    But Gary was right, I thought. We bought this expensive car, and Audi was supposed to give us special service. I called.

    Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we do not carry keys for our cars. We will have to order one from Germany.

    What! How long will that take?

    We should be able to get it for you in about three days.

    Now even more agitated, I started to yell you’re kidding into the phone, but instead I knocked into the waitress who was trying to serve me my coffee. Into the hot coffee flew my phone.

    I pulled the soaking phone out of the coffee, wiped it off, and tried to use it, but it was dead. I put my head down on the table as the tears started to run down my face.

    Suddenly, someone shook me and cautiously asked, Suzi, is that really you?

    I looked up into a face I hadn’t seen in over thirty years. Standing before me was my high school sweetheart, Ron.

    I got up and gave him a big hug. Ronnie, you are the answer to my prayers. I need my car broken into, and hot wired. I lost my key!

    He laughed, as he put his arm around me, and led me to his car. I would have done that in the ’50s when I was young and wild. Today, I’ll drive you home, and I’ll get someone to open the car and make sure it gets back to you. I happen to own a garage.

    Lost my keys, found a lost love. Even if it only meant getting into my car, this, I thought, could be the re-beginning of a beautiful friendship….

    2. The Blind Date

    Joan sat at the table, fidgeting with the silverware and staring at the door. She was dressed in her new blue knit jacket and skirt and silver-strapped high heels, with face makeup and nail polish that had been applied by beauty experts, hair set and trimmed just right. All this for nothing, she thought, as she started to get up and gather her belongings. Joan had waited for her blind date for the last 40 minutes. Her friend Ginger had built up her expectations, praising the guy to all heaven. Wait until I tell Ginger he stood me up, Joan thought.

    She picked herself up, moved her chair back, put a $5 bill down on the white tablecloth to pay for her coffee, grabbed her jacket and purse, and started to leave. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her elbow and a deep husky voice said, You must be Joanie.

    Her face tightened and her eyes narrowed with anger as she quickly spun around.The name is Joan, and if you are Ginger’s friend Guy, I think you are the rudest person I’ve ever met. Please unhand me, and let me go.

    Guy dropped her arm and bent down on one knee. He looked up into Joan’s large brown eyes. Fair damsel, please, forgive me for being late, he said. I was detained at the hospital. Had I known how beautiful you were I would have left all the bleeding patients and been here on time.

    Joan started to laugh, and said, Please get up. Everyone is staring at us.

    Guy raised himself. Joan looked up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. The tall, thin sandy-haired young man turned towards the maitre d’ and said, Sir, could you kindly seat us? We are starving.

    The maitre d’ directed them back to the table Joan had just left. He held out the chair for Joan. Guy sat down across from her. The wine list, please, he asked while waving his long thin outstretched hand towards the waiter. When the wine list magically appeared he turned to Joan and said, You do drink wine, don’t you?

    Yes, Joan answered.

    I think red would be perfect as this restaurant is well-known for their steaks, Guy stated as he opened the menu and pointed to the words Our Special, ten-ounce filet with bleu cheese sauce.

    Joan, you look like a filet lady,

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