Swim Coach! Diving in Deep

Introduction by Dusty Kohl

This novel is Book #2 of the series, Swim Coach. (Book #1 is Swim Coach! Swim or Drown.) The series is meant to be read in progressive order. Many things in this book from small nuances to major characters and the plots are better understood if Book #1 is read first. Spoiler alert: Reading this book first will spoil much of the story line and plots found in the opening book, Swim Coach! Swim or Drown.

The characters survive high school graduation and begin full adult life while in college. Diving in Deep is not about the water, but about Shane’s life. Swim or drown are no longer Shane’s limited options. To survive, to flourish, he must learn to take life by diving deeply into it. His circumstances continue to take unpredictable twists and turns as he begins to outgrow his need of a life swim coach. Shane’s job as chief director for The Dawg House Studios Dawg On Productions Adult DVDs, brings challenges to his private relationship and temptations to his sense of morality. His friendships grow deeper, his relationships morph, and still more local legends and curses surface unpredictably. Shane struggles to take control of his life and his destiny.

Diving in Deep begins with Shane’s summary of his own life thus far. He includes some insights which are important clues for the development of his value systems and self-fulfilled prophecies.

The deeper planes and tougher players of the opposing ethereal battles arise demanding a leader in the struggle from within those shadowed areas between right and wrong. Only a few believe Shane is up to the task. But then, only a few know of the role in need of a principal contender. Shane continues to be groomed for the leadership position, still unaware of the responsibilities awaiting him.

Born in a small Near-west town, Shane has his own indigenous ways of saying anything. He still avoids the pronoun I as much as possible. His incomplete sentence structure at times is ordinary for him and occasionally emphasizes his points. Shane goes through off and on cycles of peppering his language with various expletives.

If you’re looking for verbatim depictions of sexual acts, this book will disappoint you. I can write that sort of material, but it isn’t my preference here. I attempt to paint such scenes with metaphor, vagueness, emotions, and dialogue to allow each reader his/her own interpretation and choice of comprehension.

This book contains some adult same-sex situations, suggestive language, and references to violence. The characters, events, and firms herein are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons (living or dead), or to actual events or firms is purely coincidental.

* )

A Foreword from Shane

My twin brother, Shawn, died of unexpected heart complications shortly after our fourth birthday. I don’t remember that. I do recall dark emptiness. My first clear recollections are of long stays in hospitals. People came to visit. My family, now I know. Mom and Dad were strangers to me. Seems they spent most of any visit talking with doctors and nurses. Brother Lucas, who I only knew as Brother, was four years older than me. Older and an oddity to me as other boys were my age or younger. Terri, Sis, was nearly his same age. Odder yet, she was a girl. Not many of those there. Brother and Sis visited with me, laughed, played games, and brought toys or books for me to keep. Four year-olds don’t measure lapsed time well. Seemed sometimes they were there each day, and other times they showed up about the time I forgot who they were.

Far as I knew, my home was that children’s hospital. It’s all I could ever remember. Room after room of safety railed beds, two beds to a room, and walls of glass next to doors always propped open. A whirring camera aimed at any movement I made. Nurses and doctors dressed in white constantly plied cold stethoscopes against my chest and back. Occasionally the distant wailing of adults always preceded the sight of a long bundle wrapped in a white sheet going by my door on a flat cart.

The only pleasant thing to do there was to play with other children in a carpeted room full of toys. One woman dressed in black and white, even her head was covered. She watched as we played. Everybody called her, Sister. Her pale face wrinkled with age, but those seemed to disappear when she smiled. She did smile most all the time. Her broadest smiles made her light blue eyes sparkle. Sister was kind, happy, and quick to call for a nurse if some child needed to leave. I know she visited my room several times each evening. Most times she would sit in a rocking chair, humming my name and holding me until I fell asleep.

Nights were always quiet. Except one night a bright overhead light awakened me. Nurses and doctors buzzed around the boy in the bed next to mine. I thought I heard him giggle for only a moment. The overhead light dimmed. They continued to surround him in hushed voices. After heavy sighs, they wrapped him in a sheet and took him and his bed away. I never saw him again. Sister said he would never be back. She said, He went to be with our lord. No idea who lord was, but I didn’t want to leave. I refused to let anybody tuck a white sheet to me after that.

When Sister wasn’t in the playroom, a very mean woman was there. She yelled at all of us. If she said anybody’s name, she quickly followed by slapping face or butt and sending that one to the corner. Made no sense why she did that. I stayed quiet and hid whenever she was there. Especially after the only time she slapped me.

One morning after breakfast, Sister took me back to my room instead of the playroom. She put all my things in boxes and bags. I worried she was taking everything.

No. She smiled even though tears trickled down her face. No. You lucky, little man, get to take all of this with you. You are going home.

I didn’t know what home was. Lucky for me Brother and Sis were in that big noisy car. We laughed and sang songs and played hand games during a long ride. I fell asleep wrapped snugly in Brother’s arms. Brother hummed, You’re tired, Shane? Sleep now. I have you. Sleep, Shane. I’ll hold you. Sleep.

When I woke up, Brother and Sis sat on my bed. They smiled.

Hello, sleepyhead. Sis giggled.

Brother added, Yor home now, Little Brother. What do ya think of our bedroom?

Two beds, same as the hospital, but set lower to the floor and no rails. It was full of toys, my toys that Sister boxed for me. We played for a while. Then a very cross woman came in and shouted at us, Wash up! Dinner’s waitin’!

She reminded me of the mean woman in the playroom. Who’s that? I asked.

Sis said, Silly, that’s Mom.

Mom was meaner than the woman in the playroom. Seemed I couldn’t do anything right and she yelled at me most of the time. I never understood what I did wrong that got her to slap me or swat me with a belt. That hurt. Fear. Fear of her was all I learned. Many times she would yell at me about something, getting ready to slap or belt me, but Brother would stop her and tell her he did whatever it was that made her mad. He protected me.

She was my daily trepidation. Moment by moment I never knew what she would do to me or why. But I found out there were other people like her, like Uncle. He threw me in the lake and yelled, Swim or drown sissy boy! I blacked out and nearly drowned.

When nobody else was home with me, Lydia was there. She was like Sister, always pleasant and fun to play with. And she was easy going with that same broad smile and sparkling blue eyes. Remember some days and things that happened in kindergarten. Mostly it was bigger than the hospital playroom, and noisier. In first grade, Lydia was my teacher. Only now I was supposed to call her Mrs. Radcliff. I was glad to have her back in my life. She read many stories to us. My favorite stories were about a knight in shining armor who constantly rescued people from terrible places or fought monsters to keep them safe.

I learned to play rough with the boys at school. We wrestled, punched at each other, and played tag, hard tag like a shove. Mikey was my best friend there. Joey was his cousin. We did wrestle a lot. That was fun! If I tried to play like that with Brother, he explained he couldn’t do that. He was older, but not as strong as Mikey. He coughed and slept a lot of the time. But when he was awake, he played with me. We played board games like Scrabble. He taught me how to play checkers and then chess. Mostly we worked on large jig saw puzzles Mrs. Radcliff gave him.

Brother’s friend, Jeb, was Mikey’s brother. They came to visit some evenings, or we visited at their big house. One Saturday, Brother and I went to the lake with Mikey’s family. They had a big flat boat, a pontoon boat. I didn’t want to ride on it. But Brother convinced me he would keep me safe. I cried the whole while on that boat and refused to go with them after that.

Years passed. Brother shielded me from Mom’s wrath almost every time she got mad at me. He was my best friend. My hero. My knight. Just before my freshman year, Brother got weaker. He told me after being in the hospital a few days. Some bout will come along that I won’t survive.

You promise me you won’t die! You are my knight, always here to rescue me. You can’t die! Promise me! Promise me now! Promise!

Nobody can promise that, Little Brother. But, even if I die, I will always watch over ya.

I saved my allowance and bought an action figure, a knight, to give him for his last birthday. Just before Thanksgiving, my world collapsed. Mrs. Radcliff laid a new jigsaw puzzle in his casket. I couldn’t believe my big brother was never coming back. Mom yelled at me all the time about that. I cried myself to sleep every night, asking God for just one more day with Brother. I was lost without him.

Sis and her friend, Barb, tried to make up for my loss. I wondered about blindly, lost. I couldn’t hang out with them at school. Freshmen weren’t allowed places seniors could go. Barb’s sister, Sheryl was a sophomore cheerleader. She decided I was her boyfriend. Pretty much did whatever she told me to do at school. That included studying hard, making good grades, and staying away from troublemakers. Particularly stay away from my friends Mikey and Joey. The gossip about them was awful. Guilt by association, she predicted. They were busy with their own lives and didn’t notice I pulled away.

But Sheryl graduated the year before my senior year. She left me on my own, high and dry. I had no friends. Hell! She never approved of anybody to be my friend. Mrs. Radcliff’s Math and Science Club and her Chess Club were the only activities I did outside of attend class and do homework.

One morning in the locker room, the new P.E. coach approached me. I became the football team’s statistician, his favorite pupil for after school private swimming lessons, his best friend, and deeply infatuated with him. Mikey saw what was happening. He forced his way back into my life. My friend, turned sex mentor, coached me through all of my dealings about Coach. Mikey coached me on how to seduce the man. I refused, hoping Coach would someday feel the same way about me as I did about him.

Wise-ass jocks, Trey and Chad, tried to run me off the road one evening after my swimming lesson. They wound up wrecking Mikey instead. The car crash nearly killed him. That’s when I met Coach’s archenemy, Dr. Antonio Studguard. I fell in Mikey’s hospital room. My concussion landed me in the bed next to him.

Victim of one more of Mom’s life beatings, I determined to visit Lucas’s grave. Dad confessed many things at the gravesides of Lucas and Shawn. Lucas was born before my parents married. Shocked. Worse? He was born to her while she lived in Houston with her aunt. Worse yet? Lucas was born as a triplet. Mom gave away his two birth brothers before Dad caught up with her and convinced her to marry him so they could raise sickly Lucas together. Not bad enough? They knew one of the triplets grew up in Tri-Town. Want to try more confusion? Mom had a long affair that later brought my little sister, Emily, into the fray. Dad and the man’s wife had a son together, Mikey. Jeb was one of the triplets. The third triplet they lost track of. They always wondered about him.

Coach took me, my sisters, and my sister’s partner with him to Houston the week of Thanksgiving. His mother was up for parole, five years after she killed his younger brother also named Shane. His grandmother called him out about being in love with me. She encouraged him to act on it.

Coach confessed his love and sexual attraction to me that week, but was unwilling to act on his feelings other than discuss them with me. When he finally did promise we would be together in every way, his ex-girlfriend showed up pregnant and he dropped me like a rock.

I tried to kill myself that next day. Mikey stopped me and promised me life would go on. I fell in love with Vincent. He became the love of my life. We had four months. A little over four months of being with, adoring, loving, and planning life with my Once in a Lifetime Love. Then he was killed when Trey and Chad ran Dad and him off the road. That shouldn’t have surprised us. They nearly killed Mikey running him off the road months earlier. Dad lingered in the hospital for nearly a week.

The night after we buried Dad, Trey and Chad burst into Sis and Barb’s apartment where I lived after Mom threw me out in one of her rages. Those men, well, when they were done they left me for dead. Unfortunately for them, they only thought I was dead. Dr. Studguard found me. He rescued me.

I lived at Mikey’s after that night. Anger and hatred brought to efficient rage. Eventually, Mikey and I gained our revenge on Trey and Chad. Our revenge was for killing our father and my lover. My revenge was for them savagely violating me. I didn’t heed Mrs. Radcliff’s warning. I let anger turn to rage and hatred. Hatred was my only surviving emotion. Chaos became the new order of my life. I threw myself into the swim and diving team Coach had began for me. School work, that team, and any man I could bed became my narrowed focus. Too busy to think. Too busy to hurt. Too busy to grieve.

Sure, Lucas’s death threw me into a deep depression. But Vincent’s? Vincent’s death left me with no reason to live. I tried. Oh, I think I only tried because Mikey and our other half-brother James fought so hard to keep me trying. I lived a shell of a life.

The day that would have been Vin’s 19th birthday, I decided to end my life. Wrote thank you notes to Mikey and others and waited for everybody to go to bed for the night. I was going back to Lovers’ Leap when Angelo stopped me. Took some stumbling, but I finally came to love him nearly the way he loved me.

Swim or drown I came to know. Seemed if I could fail at something I did fail exponentially. Most times I mucked things up before knowing what was what. Mikey was always quick to advise, but he and I have different approaches to life’s dilemmas and a different mindset of virtue. James became a good running buddy and quick with advice on matters of health. Dr. Studguard, Antonio? He became my Lucas, my knight always ready to rescue me from dangerous fears. In return, I tried to rescue him from himself and his demons. Ours became a symbiotic friendship that worked well for both of us. Hardest part for me was containing my deep love for him. He too recognized his love for me. For Angelo’s sake, we dared not act on it.

Graduation was coming up shortly, and college in The City lay ahead for Mikey and me. I only wanted a few classes at a time in college. Mikey wouldn’t hear of it. College is a necessary evil. A rite of passage. No. Part time? Oh hell no! We get this over with as soon as possible. No dog paddling. We’re diving in deep!

* ) * )

Chapter 1 Outback

Coach’s grandmother laid open the story of Dad’s family’s curse. The Gomez Curse carried to our tenth generation from eldest son to eldest son, and witnessed by that son’s children’s birthmark, the waxing crescent moon. The only curse effects we knew of beyond the marks were that son was born to live unhappy circumstances and we brothers could sense each other’s strongest emotions. Distance didn’t stop that. Joined of the heart, always close enough to finish one another’s sentences. Sometimes we could communicate by responsive emotions or anticipating thoughts. Mikey got the strongest dose of that benefit!

Alongside The Gomez Curse, we discovered The Calpecci Legend from Vincent’s family tree. Both instigated by our common progenitor, Emilia de la Tecera Estrella. The Calpecci line carried a similar birthmark from eldest, firstborn Calpecci daughter of each generation. No known effects other than the confusion. With two family trees carrying that mark, and Emilia’s brother’s descendents The Dawgs (Mikey’s father came from) family feuds went on for all those generations. Worst of the lot were Mom’s family, The Legarios. They were Emilia’s father’s male descendents.

Oh, there were other myths and legends about our small corner of nowhere. Some of those took a longer time coming to play upon our worst fears and to bear our deepest regrets.

. . .

My phone buzzed at 4 am. Mikey was angry. TAP! I cain’t get Tarzan on the phone. Wake him up! The Feds are here with a search warrant for drugs!

OH HOLY SHIT!

I knocked on Tarzan’s bedroom door. No response. I knocked louder. No response. I entered. He was asleep. Sound asleep. What the hell! Sound asleep in James’s arms! If I woke them, they’d know that I know. FRAG IT!

I turned on the overhead light.

WHAT THE HELL TAPPER!

SHIT! BRO! I can explain….

DON’T! Just, just don’t. Tarzan, Mikey’s been trying to call you. The Feds are here with a search warrant for drugs.

FRAG! Tarzan grabbed something from his nightstand drawer and went to the bathroom. The toilet flushed a number of times.

Somebody pounded loudly on the front door downstairs. D.E.A.! OPEN UP!

Angel went with me to let them in. Both of us wore bathrobes.

What do you men want? I tried to play innocent. Hopefully that was the last flush of Tarzan’s toilet I heard on the way down the stairs.

Search warrant. Illegal narcotics. The man looked Angel up and down several times. Why don’t you make this easy on all of us? Save us the search. Where’s your stash?

"I don’t know what stash is." Angel was confused.

Where’s your drugs? The big man sneered. And while you’re at it. I wanna see your papers. I hate drug runnin’ illegals.

Oh! That’s enough! I stepped between him and Angel. It’s one thing to harass us with a ridiculous phony drug raid. But you come in here with false accusations and insults? That’s going too far!

SHANE! Angel pulled me back and told me in Spanish, Only argue with a badge heavy cop when you’re in the wrong. He addressed the man, My papers are in my bedroom. I know how this plays out, sir. You will not let me out of your sight. We must go to my bedroom together. I have nothing to hide.

James came down the stairs dressed in his chauffeur uniform. He pulled his cap on over disheveled hair. Good morning, gentlemen. He spoke each word deliberatelywith no accent whatsoever! I understand you need to look around. Allow me to show you every nook and cranny in my home. I assure you, there is nothing to find. So let’s get started.

The big one headed up the stairs with Angel. I turned to go up with them. The other one stopped me. Stay here, he commanded.

Look. You have a search warrant. Unless you arrest me, don’t presume to tell me where I can and cannot go in my own home.

As we climbed the stairs, the agent stopped and sniffed deeply. THAT’S IT! I know that smell! I lived in the same house with Tarzan so long I guess I grew used to marijuana’s aroma. None of us had a medical license to save us. .He phoned for backup.

Mikey, Joey and Pup Star showed up at the same time three other agents walked in the door.

I’ve told ya guys. Nobody here does drugs. They know if they do, they’re out.

Didn’t stop them from turning the house inside out. Still not satisfied, they brought in a dog! The dog seemed confused. He led them on one wild goose chase after another. James offered to make hot tea for us. Guess he would have stuck with the agents but with so many, how could he?

Mikey wouldn’t have it. One of us needs to be with each of them at all times. Then I heard him think why. They could plant something on us!

Of course they found nothing by the time it was all over. They didn’t bother to apologize either. Stradler warned us. We could expect to be kept under a microscope. Not a pleasant way to live. Not at all.

. . .

The Outback Group, James titled our faction. To his delight we all took it without question. Eldest of us bothers, he should have some power of his own, is all. Outback made sense, too. The Club and Kennel were the only buildings beyond the houses we shared. The U-shaped castle made the first building after an expanse of green lawns and sculpted shrubs. The entry driveway sat centered to the right of the castle. Servant’s quarters lined that driveway along the outside wall next to the highway. Off that driveway, across from the pool house, was our new dining hall. Mikey dubbed it The Great Hall. From the main drive, our last line of defense, a new coded gate turned to the new driveway in front of our three homes. At each end, the massive glass buildings were the swimming pool and arboretum. Past the main house, expanses of manicured lawns as well as gardens of flowers and rosebushes surrounded all buildings. The always immaculate grounds remained maintained by an array of fulltime gardeners at constant labor. Street-sized gas lights lit the winding paths of the gardens at night. Not that natural gas cost us anything from Dawg Enterprises Energy Productions. The principle drive passed between The Club and The Kennel to the parking lot and all the way out to the airstrip, where the tall boundary walls stopped and barbed wire continued the rest of the three sections along the highway.

Of most recent innovations, Mikey had a new guardhouse installed at the gate between the parking lot and the highway. No longer would weekend Dawg House Club partiers have the option to drive through the main grounds. Something that always perturbed him. If he had his way, patrons would have no access to the gardens, either. They were there, after all, for The Dawg Club. Mr. Ridder manned that gate on Friday nights until one in the morning. After that, nobody would enter nor could they return if they left before the 36 hour Lock-in Party ended.

The Outback Group sat to dinner in the new dining hall at The Dawg Estate. Mikey and The Calpecci Twins, James, Joey and Pup Star, Angel and I all sat at the head table with thee empty chairs. Mikey was all about making statements in defined tone. Two of those empty chairs belonged to Jeb and Zave. We ten comprised the inner circle. Always we left open a seat at that table for Ethel. Never knew when she’d join us and she made her appearances the habit of surprise. So we kept the accommodation ready.

When the door opened and Mrs. Dawg walked in, everybody stood. Ethel, an easy going woman of unpretentious dignity, eventually grew comfortable with the idea no one would sit until she was seated.

The servants filled our wine glasses and delivered salads and bread as Mikey made the evening announcements.

"Graduation weekend approaching. I expect all The Club employees to help keep out any minors trying to slip through. Pup Tent, no vouching. All must have proper I.D. with them. See that your relief knows that. Anybody tries to get in under eighteen, have My Brother call their parents to come get them. Word of that will spread quickly. Little pricks can be put to sweat quickly. The State has tried to bring us to grief about alcohol. Blastards think they can run everything. Alls I gotta say is for now, Pup Rose and Pup Iris, if the patron doesn’t have a 21 stamped on his wrist he is to be treated as a D. D. Designated Drivers enjoyed unlimited free soft drinks. Attorney Rhonda Stradler, Mother, and Grandmother Dawg are locking into the fight with them. They cannot force our hand on Native owned ground. Stradler does believe we will win. May take some time, but she’s notified them of our intent to open a full-fledged casino."

Everybody cheered!

He continued, This is serious business. I do not want publicity at this time. Star and James, ya catch anybody under twenty-one drinking? Bring him to me for a talk before ya bounce him. Let’s save the hard knocks to use bad publicity as a resource in our favor when we get closer to opening the new resort. As all of us saw last night, we can expect raids like that at any moment. Keep to the up and up. Ya know I’ll can your ass if ya do drugs. Worse? Ya bring that shit on this property, better hope they take ya with it. That’d be the kindest way out for ya. So don’t. Do not. Period. Pups, this is the last time I will tell any of you, conduct your client business in The Kennel only. Not in the shadows. Sure as hell not in the gardens where ya cain’t get help if ya need it. We…

The noise deafened all of us as a helicopter paused overhead. Only a few feet from the upper skylights, it then circled the building continuously.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! Mikey was furious. STAR! JAMES! ANGEL! WITH ME NOW!

The five of us ran outside. The pilot nodded to us then pointed to the parking lot. The blades began winding down when we caught up with him.

This is private property! Mikey was pissed. Ya better have a damned good reason for being here!

The pilot stepped down and walked toward us. The short little round man walked with a limp. He removed his helmet to the astonishment of us all.

DAD?

Shock froze our faces!

Sorry, cain’t hear ya wit ’at helmet on. Ya mus’ be Mr. Dawg? He extended his hand to Mikey. Din’t ’ave a number fur ya or I’d called ya first. Hope I hain’t skeerd nobody.

I’m Michael Dawg. Got 40 people just set to dinner. What the hell do ya want?

The pilot looked at me. I met ya ’fore, too. He smiled warmly as he shook my hand. "Two funerals an’ ’at night the Corvette blew up. Shane, ain’t ya?"

Two funerals? I asked. Then it hit me. You’re one of Shane Tapman Senior’s brothers?

At’s right.

Mikey’s wheels began to turn. Mister Gomez we’re sitting to dinner. C’mon and join us, lessen ya got something urgent. Young Brother wasn’t about to turn down a chance to grill a Gomez man, especially a brother to our father.

I’d like ’at. He smiled like Dad! "Call me Tio. Most ever’body does. He looked at me again as we walked back to The Great Hall. Ya even walk like yor dad. Bet ya din’t know my wife’s yor Spanish teacher."

"I do now. Tio? Uh, Uncle. You’re the one who came up with The Gomez Family Tree for me and was willing to take me in a few months back. I always wondered. How did you know what happened that weekend?"

We continued the walk. My brother toll me. Asked me iffin’ I could, would I hep ya. So I toll the wife t’ tell ya ’at. She agreed. He looked amazed as we entered our new building. Tis a very nice place, gentlemen.

Tis a very nice place, ladies, Dad said to Sis and Barb the night he took me to refuge at their apartment.

Mikey announced, "Shane’s uncle, guys. Tio. They looked a moment, and then continued to eat. Tio, this way." We walked the serving line to fill our plates before sitting. He introduced Tio to Ethel and the rest at our table.

I asked, Tio must be some reason you dropped in?

Yep. Yep. Sure is. Jes’ dropt some big shots off up at yor dock. Seems when they pulled anchor on Coach Dye’s boat t’ haul it fur him, well, I’m sorry. He nodded to Ethel. Tis ain’t no subject fur the dinner table. I kin tell ya later. He asked me in Spanish, Does the lady speak Spanish?

Ethel chuckled. Sí. Ooon po-key-toe. But please, if it’s that important, you should go ahead and tell us.

All righty then. He paused. The State investigators an’ FBI are all over the place up there wit divers.

Say what! What’s their reason? That would be Dawg Enterprises’ dock. Ethel wanted to know, now!

There was a decaying foot trapped in the anchor cable. The rest o’ ’at body’s gotta be in ’at lake somewhere. An’ they aim t’ find it.

Do they know who that foot belongs to? James asked.

Not yet. Tennis shoe. Maybe a young man’s. Missin’ persons reports only two in tis area.

Mikey’s voice sounded in my head and hit James at the same time. Do NOT say another word. Do NOT! We wouldn’t have any idea who. Who’s missing? Young Brother was a natural born actor. Thank gods one of us could hide emotion behind words!

At Legario boy an’ ’at Smitt boy. Both been missin’ since jes’ after Spring Break.

I started to tell him they ran off together. Mikey caught my eye. Again, Say nothing! Not a word!

Hope they find out soon who it is, Mikey said. Make sure ya get our numbers ’fore ya take off. Ya can land here anytime ya want. Just please give us a heads-up first. I know My Brother would be glad to see more of ya. Wouldn’t ya, Tap?

I didn’t need to look at him for a clue. Yes. Yes, Tio. I’d like to get to know you. I’m sure you can tell me many interesting things about my dad.

At I kin do.

. . .

We left Tarzan, Angel, and Antonio to start our usual Wednesday night poker game without us. Mikey went to James’s bedroom with me.

James’s bedroom always fascinated me. A rain stick along with a few Aboriginal instruments, plus framed photos he took of Australia. A blue ribbon tacked to the side of framed picture showed dancing Australian men in native clothing, beneath a solar eclipse. One small picture frame sat on his bedside table. A picture of his mother tucked behind a nearly spent red candle. Made me wonder if his mother meant anything to Dad, or was it just happenstance as he claimed. Strange she knew where James would find his father all those years later.

This was serious business and the three of us knew it. None of our contacts with Trey and Chad that week of Spring Break were anything but incriminating to us. James and I wore ourselves out after letting them turn themselves into bait in the back of the Limo. Then they hung in the slings for ten days for the carnal delight of The Dawg House Club. The hysterical laughter of the jocks when their smartass BMOCs turned up naked in sixty-nine on the locker room floor that next Monday. Nobody said it. They knew Mikey led them to take those two in such degradation. After Mr. Faucet and Mr. Fairaday hauled them to the office, the rumor was the two lovebirds ran off together.

Now, a glimpse into Pandora’s Box of aftermath. Could only hope Mikey knew what was what. That evening surprised me when I learned I was wrong.

Before ya ask out loud, I did not have those two killed.

Young Brother, I thought the Traffickers got ’em. Honest? You didn’t sell them?

"I most definitely did not. Last I knew of them, Faucet and Fairaday hauled them to the office. James, did Coach Remorse ever say nothing about them in all his drinking time?"

Not a word. I didn’t know. Should I have asked him?

Of all the things I’d like to interrogate that blastard on, never thought murder would be one of those questions. He was pretty pissed about the intercom. Did ya get rid of that?

Only thing I kept was his confession to Shane about his brother. Gasoline and a torch took everything including the hard drive. That is what you told me to do.

Good. Good. Our story is they partied at The Dawg House Club that entire week. None of us were alone with them. I’m right about that, ain’t I?

James looked at me, questioningly. Bro. You didn’t…

Mikey cut him off. "James! Get over yourself. Don’t think I don’t know it. Doesn’t mean you’re gay. Though I gotta admit, watching ya go at Coach Iniquitous did make me speculate. Came together when ya said, You’d be surprised what else our virgin brother innovated. Ha!"

That was about revenge. Nothing more. Both Coach and those two. James defended himself unnecessarily.

Revenge? Made me wonder what score he was settling with Tarzan that night!

Yes. I said I understand. Why not help yourself to something available for the taking? I sure as hell don’t hesitate. Well, if it was a woman. Yeah, eeewww. But no. Just ’cause you’re damned good at fraggin’ a man don’t mean a blessed thing. Does make me a bit jealous, I gotta admit.

Mikey, you can’t think of James that way. You know that ain’t right.

Not what I meant. I meant he’s got to see you in action, repeatedly no doubt. I never have. But the rumors I’ve heard? Dadgummed shame you’re in a relationship. Shit! Ya’d be a top seller for The Dawg House Studios! Still got men writing, asking for more of ya. Maybe it’s time I sit down and watch those DVDs for myself.

SHIT FIRE! Better hope Angel never hears about those! He tears up just suspecting I’ve been with some man we’re talking to.

"He knew ya had miles on ya when he set his cap for ya. He needs to get over it. Threaten him with his past if he keeps throwing it at ya."

No. He doesn’t throw it at me. He’s just tenderhearted. Don’t you know?

Tenderhearted my ass. The man is playing a control game on ya and ya cain’t see it. Call him out on it, or you’ll live under his shadow of guilt forever. For a man who doesn’t like to play games, you’re sure getting played on that one, big time!

I don’t think it’s a game.

"Fine. Don’t call his bluff. But let me ask ya this. If he’s so tenderhearted about who you’ve slept with, why ain’t he beggin’ ya to stay home and watch TV instead of taking ya to The Club every weekend? He’s gotta know you’re popular for more reason than proprietorship. Let me tell ya something. The guys are respectful of your relationship. But, ya got a bunch of them hovering around the Tapper groupie pool."

Yeah. I have bedded a bunch of them. But not anywhere near your track record.

And, ya never will! Ha! Ha! He patted my head like a little child. Never have a chance, neither with that ball and chain.

This ain’t about whether or not you approve of my relationship. This is supposed to be about Trey and Chad.

You’re right. James, ya burned their clothes? James responded by nodding, yes. "So. They weren’t at school after that day. If that foot does belong to one of them, when did they get dressed? And like I told ya before, all that time alone out on his boat. Damned good thing Coach Compunctious didn’t get all Larra Johnson on ya." Larra Johnson, Coach’s mother, killed his young brother and was still serving prison time.

So now you’re back to reading me. Mikey’s made his share of mistakes in the past, too.

Name one!

That was easy! Brian Jenkins. Ya led that boy on. Made him a lot of promises to try and keep his ego afloat before he ran off. Oh. Ran off? Lost. Your lost, Lost Boy. Do you honestly want to go down this road with me?

Godsbedamned, Tap. I think you’ve finally grown a sturdy spine! Now if you’d just grow some thick skin to go with it!

Back downstairs, Antonio signaled me to the kitchen while Mikey shuffled the deck.

Kid, we seldom get a moment to talk now. Are you doing all right?

I wondered what he wanted to hear. I’m holding my own. It’s not the way I want it. But I understand. I’ll survive.

Sorry. I would change everything if I could. You do know that. Don’t you?

Gods! I wish you would! This is hell and getting worse each day.

Angel walked in on us. Antonio’s face showed guilt. Hoped mine didn’t.

Attempting recovery, Thanks, Antonio. I’ll call Grandma about that.

What about Grandma? Angel was going to raise hell about this private conversation later. Bet on that.

I was curious if your grandmother followed up with the Houston doctors after her surgery here.

You should have asked me. She says all is clear. They’ll recheck in six months. I know you saved her life.

Antonio excused himself back to the card game.

Shane, what was that all about? I’m not buying that lame excuse!

Look, it is what it is. Angel, please don’t start your accusations again. I’m not in any mood to fight with you. Gods! You promised me I’d never regret you. Why do you try so hard to break that promise every time I turn around? Honestly, you’re driving me to wrath and your petty jealousies are unbecoming of you. They shake what we have.

I’m sorry. He tried to kiss me.

I drew back. Don’t think a quick peck is gonna make up for it. I’m telling you flat-out. This is getting old. If I wanted to fight and get slammed with attitude everyday, I’d still be living with my mother!

. . .

After lengthy passion, Angel and I fell asleep in each other’s arms. My mind was restless….

The large, noisy metal door opened, banging against the wall. Somebody was in a hurry. Startled me big time!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Hey! Shane! Ya in there polishing your pistol or something?

Vin? Is that you Vincent?

The class bell rang.

Angelo shook my shoulder. I didn’t know you set the alarm clock. Can you reach it?

. . .

Tri-Town’s rumor mill? More than that. Didn’t help our newspaper, The Tattler, front paged Coach’s boat hanging from a crane. The headline read,

Coach Dye’s Yacht Tied to Disappearances.

Maybe if we didn’t force him to leave, that foot could’ve been gone gods know where with the rest of its body. Instead, all suspicion was focused on him. The unkind things they said about his involvement, the way he carried on with Trey and Chad at the awards banquet, The Threesome Jocks, finding those two naked in the locker room, the intercom recording, his lack of denial of Drew’s charge against him for trying to seduce me, reprimand from the school board, written warnings from both Faucet and Devincincio, the court restraining order Mikey insisted I get after the weekend of his debauchery, and an absent pregnant girlfriend purportedly leaving him in shame. Even the rumor the dip-wad tried to start about me and Antonio backfired on him--everybody concluded it had to be the ravings of a jealous closet case. Yep. The community readied their torches and sharpened their pitchforks. All got plenty of suspicious situations on him. Seems I didn’t have to hand a drowning man that glass of water after all.

At first glance, I thought I saw another man in shackles walking with them. Looking dead-on. it was just the three men. Our whole school came to a grinding halt as Sheriff and the FBI agent left with Coach Dye in handcuffs. Nobody said a word about it after we saw that. They didn’t have to say it. Coach was tried in the courtroom of suspicion and found guilty by a jury of speculation. I bet his one phone call would go to Grandma. I would’ve lost that bet.

My cell phone buzzed in the Limo on the way home from school. "Person to person collect call for ...Shane Tapman...from _____. Will you accept the charges?"

I’m sorry. I didn’t get who this call is from. I put my phone on speaker so Mikey and James could hear.

The operator repeated. "Person to person collect call for...Shane Tapman...from ______. Will you accept the charges?"

It’s a automated voice, Mikey whispered. "Gotta be Coach Inanity or he’d put his name in there. Sounds like his voice saying your name. It only understands yes or no."

Oh, I said now understanding.

The auto voice said, Call not accepted. Call terminated.

DAMN! I looked at Mikey. Guess we need to call Grandma for him.

Like hell ya will! I told that blastard to leave ya alone! I’ll shit gold bricks before any of us lift a finger to help that sorry-assed son of a bitch!

But he’s gonna need a lawyer, and you know they suspect him of murder. He…

James interrupted me, Bro, let it go. We all fought like hell and worked like Hebrews to get that man out of your life. Now, keep it that way.

But he’s not guilty. He couldn’t be!

Ya never know. No, ya will never know. I’ve warned ya over and over, that man will find a way to weasel hisself back into your care. Don’t. That’s all any of us is gonna tell ya. Don’t.

Mikey’s instructions to Drew, Lou, and me were simple. Don’t say a word about it. Listen. Find out who’s saying what. If ya get cornered into a comment on the subject, pretend to be preoccupied in other thoughts. Basically, we were to keep our mouths shut. Don’t know why he felt it needed to be spelled out for us.

Plenty of rumors flowed. All I could do to keep my mouth shut. Oh hell! I knew more about the jackass than his own grandmother would ever know! Mikey was right. I owed that man nothing, nothing including my caring. Justice looked to finally catch up with Jessie Johnson and this time, I didn’t have to give Karma a big shove. I needed to shut down the part of my innateness requiring me to save him from himself. He failed at his role of my knight. Deceitful jackass failed to save me from my fears. Truth be told, he added to those. My knight? Oh hell no he wasn’t! Barb drew Antonio to fill that empty place in my life.

Antonio claimed a great deal of space in my mind. At first a man I was unjustifiably made to suspect and fear because Jessie shielded me from him as a competitor. He stood toe to toe with me many times against the moron’s evil attacks. And when I couldn’t make myself take revenge out on Jessie, Antonio did it for me. He exacted revenge in mind, reputation, and body along with Mikey leading the charge against Jessie. Antonio added an extra dimension to that day on the yacht. Moment by moment engaged with him at a spiritual level beyond mere sex. He remained the object of my most erotic dreams. Made me wonder if he still entertained fantasies of me.

He briefly acknowledged Angel and me in The Club on weekends. Kept it simple, then he went about his weekend goal of plugging a few holes. All was simply a sport to him. He never let any man get close to him and stayed uninvolved. Sometimes I felt he watched me. But, turning to confirm my intuition, he was always engaged with some other man nearby. A pipe dream, Tapman. That man can never allow himself to feel about me the way I’d like to have. I would have gladly kept seeing him on the side, behind Angel’s back, if his sense of right and wrong didn’t override us. Certainly would’ve had the energy to keep up with him now that Angel manipulated our sex life as a weapon.

Nobody in a relationship should have to solo, buzz off, to handle his sex drive. What’s the point in having a relationship if it’s void of relating? The only thing worse than being alone is feeling alone while with somebody. My daydreams always involved engaging Antonio. And why not? Angel could light my fires. Instead, he seemed determined to extinguish them. Mikey was right. My Forever Love played control games on me. My past, surviving Delilah, gave me plenty of experience in hiding from all of that in my own little fantasy world.

Constantly began to question myself, Why did I let Angel into my life? Oh, because he made me believe that he loved me. Unfortunately, turned out he did love me. Just not in the way I wanted to be loved. And now, I was frag stuck. Saddled with a man for fraggin’ him, when in truth I’d fragged myself. Life once more became bleak. The truth is a true bitch doesn’t have to yell and scream, rant and rave, make threats or cause bodily harm. No. A true bitch will march the victim into a corner with minimal verbal inferences and clandestine, subterfuge nuances. A true bitch is born with the ability to cause living hell while giving no concrete evidence of events to expose or pinpoint what is actually choking, degrading, and defeating while sucking the very essence of life from your spirit.

And thus went the first half of that school day. Lost in thought, overcome with despair, and turning to fantasy in my noon visit to the bathroom stall.

Mrs. Radcliff called Mikey and me into her side office. Either of you ever witness temper from Mr. Dye?

Ma’am, Tapman ain’t allowed to say nothing about the man. A restraining order works both ways.

OH DEAR LORD! She declared, "Shane, I had no idea! Escaped Delilah and get attacked by her male counterpart! Honey, I’m so very sorry. Well! So much for praying for help for that reprobate. Now, Pastor and I will only pray God’s will be done."

We passed Mr. Faucet in the main corridor on his way to take over and substitute P.E., no doubt. Mr. Tapman, Mr. Dawg. You tried to warn me about that fool. Just wish I could have stopped him before he hurt those two.

Rusty, don’t take no blame for it. Mikey wouldn’t just console him. He had a point to make We didn’t know, so we couldn’t have told ya soon enough about his trying to hurt Shane. Seems to me, he went after Tapman after, well, after.

The joy I felt when Angel used to meet me in the parking lot each day after school, the closeness we achieved as we walked through the gardens hand in hand away from the fray at The James House, and the intimacy in our bedroom after that. All those evaporated as he found more and more excuses not to meet me. Fine. I actually began to breathe a sigh of relief on the days he wasn’t waiting. That didn’t force me to stop my contemplative garden walks. Oh hell no! The longer my time out there alone was less time under his miasmatic thumb and ridiculous scrutiny of my day or his paranoid suspicions. I could only carefully say anything about the school day. Telling him details, gods forbid the mention of any male name in an anecdote! That’d get an immediate interruption of Do you like him? Or Is he attractive to you? Or Is he gay? Most often all three questions fired in rapid succession. Worst of all, if I mentioned the same name more than once, ever, You seem to spend a great deal of time with that one. What the hell! Rarely did he come find me at those alone times. Perhaps he needed the break, too. Or maybe he ran out of ammunition!

I don’t care how long you’ve known somebody. You don’t know the son of a bitch until you’ve lived with him.

The buzz about The Compound was unbearable for me. James instructed all estate employees not to speak of the matter. Mikey laid that out plain and simple at dinner that evening. Ethel was ahead of him on that.

She told me as much. You couldn’t have known what that man was. Don’t accept any blame nor conspiracy theories either. Just thank goodness that devil is out of your life. She looked at Angel. Out of your life and be grateful for this Angel. If only she knew.

. . .

We were undressing each other for bed. Angel asked, Is there anything I need to know about those missing men? I mean, this isn’t something that’s going to come back on any of you, or is it?

Oh gods! Here we go. Angel made a practice of sabotaging the moment and my interest with twisted questions or implied suspicions of my faithfulness. I couldn’t prove if he did it intentionally or not. But it shut me down quickly every time he played those games. When he shut me down like that, he never bothered to undo the damage. And damage continued to mount up between us. How the frag are you supposed to forgive somebody’s mild transgression when it becomes the norm and habit rather than the rare and excusable slip?

What you need to know is that none of us had anything to do with their disappearance. That’s all you need to know.

He pulled away when I attempted to stop this confrontation with a kiss. He pulled away to recoil with the next assault. Maybe his chin should’ve twitched!

Please let it go! I’m horny enough to frag my pillow!

Wouldn’t surprise me if Jessie did kill anybody. But Shane, those are the same two who ran Mikey off the road. The same who killed your dad and Vincent. I can’t believe Mikey didn’t take revenge on them.

Vincent? Damn him! For a man who whined to everybody else that he had to compete with a ghost, he brought Vincent into conversations when those memories were the farthest from my mind. Frag it. Frag him! He wants to play dirty pool? I’ve more experience than he’ll ever hope to have. Time to put the shoe on his foot.

You’re gonna make me go there anyway. He nodded, yes. Sit down, Angel. I’ll tell you all of it. But, after I’m done, you most likely will not want to make love with me tonight.

I was right.

* ) * ) * )

Chapter 2 Sharks, Piranhas, and Dolphins

Angel flew our private plane to bring them in for graduation. Grandma, Grandpa, Sissy and Rhonda Stradler to be our guests. Mostly so Emily could see me graduate. She stayed in Sis and Barb’s extra room. Rhonda stayed with James. Oh hell! Stradler was there quite often as it was, what with our battle against The State. Damned good thing Dawg Enterprises could afford her. Of course Grandma and Grandpa stayed in our fourth bedroom downstairs.

Took Grandma no time at all. She determined to get to the bottom of the current mess of Jessie’s troubles. I never planned to go up against her. In a way, I guess I did. I told her, I am under strict orders from my employer not to discuss this with anybody.

Shane! Ya cain’t mean ya won’t tell me nothing?

Here’s what I can do. You, Grandpa, Mikey, Angel and I will have a discussion about it. One discussion. I ain’t letting that jackass ruin our graduation. Understand?

Ya cain’t believe he’s killed somebody!

Don’t matter what I believe. Ain’t up to me anyway. This is not a discussion that’s gonna happen unless all five of us are at the table. I don’t mean any disrespect, but I will hold my ground.

Eduardo arrived pulling a double horse trailer. Guess he decided not to wait until next spring. Giselle was more than pleased to see him again. He got that danged futon. Reminded Mikey that his mother may have yet another building to build. The Dawg Estate needed a guest house that didn’t get swallowed up by the next permanent sets of misfits Mikey decided to take in. That woman and building? Not like she didn’t get enough of it by replacing Tri-Town’s eastside houses through D.E.A.R. Dawg Enterprises Accommodations Rehabilitations, a 501c3 nonprofit organization, was then leagued with Habitat for Humanity. Like Rhonda pointed out, if we’re going to all that expense and no return on it, may as well get a tax benefit and at the same time give the occupants a hand in it. That boosted their pride and appreciation. The shanties eastside of the tracks? Oh, that entire community came together for house raisings nearly as well as the Amish. Kept those painting midgets busier than our school’s one-armed janitor. Refurbishing their neighborhoods brought The Have Nots closer together and gave them just cause to gain some pride.

My Spanish teacher, Ethel Dawg, and Flo Faucet set about organizing weekend neighborhood block parties. Seems most of those blocks wound up coming out for each event and glad of it. Now that was progress—getting the people out of their houses for fun and food. Poor people might not make much money, but when it comes to get-togethers, they eat well!

Good things come back to you for selfless deeds? Ethel Dawg was elected mayor as a write-in candidate. Pissed her brother-in-law off, big time. Oh to hell with it! Our town needed fresh ideas, and somebody in leadership who could stand up to The Italian Country Club Board without fear of reprisals. Top of her list of priorities were a community hall and recreation center. Also up for bond issue, she campaigned for a five-year, five-step program to gut the old elementary school building and bring it up to twenty-first century standards with matching State and Federal funds. Those became construction projects that would hire locals.

Mikey taunted her. "Mother, they’ll drag ya into heaven while you’re telling God, Just one more building before I go!"

Small wonder the main mansion was castle size, recalling all the excavations and additions built between first grade and high school. That woman and her constant need to build something did put to shame The Winchester Mystery House. So now plans for a ranch style guest house went into the works, just that quick. Move over Mrs. Winchester! Not a two-story like the rest of the saltbox houses. It would be a ranch style, single floor to accommodate guests who couldn’t climb stairs. Four ample bedrooms each would have its own bath, sitting area, mini bar and enclosed lanai. One common area down the middle and an attached garage up front completed the floor plan. My bet was one of those bedrooms would be Stradler’s permanently designated one. The architects fought with a story and a half design to make it fit in better with the rest of the buildings.

Ethel showed Grandma the drawings. Look there, Roy. I think she’s buildin’ our summer retirement home. Ha! Ah!

Oh, Uncle was not happy. He lost his puppet control of the Town Council. Mikey’s way:

Face your enemies dead-on

Never back down

Chest to the line

Every time

Hold all ground

Strength beats attempted degradation.

Chest to the line. Joey and I called on Joey’s relatives in The School Board who were easily swayed. Mikey about busted our backs patting us for getting it done without need of his insight and before he could think of it. That Gomez bunch willingly sacrificed Old Man Gomez to have Ethel head their group. Women and politics? Seems to me they need not hide in the shadows advising their husbands when so many of them are Hilary Clinton types anyway. Uncle lost that control influence, too.

"Uncle had it coming in so many ways, Grandma. Payback is hell. Or not. I guess that depends on if you are the paymaster or the payee. Tapman did not get even. I did not settle the score, nor did I get ahead of it. I got done. Some people I have a hard time feeling sorry for. A few? Well, I gloat when they get what’s due them. Even it I had to give Karma a big shove!"

Seein’ a enemy get his comeuppance is gratifying. Grandma seemed to agree. But don’t never gloat about it, Shane. First, it ain’t becoming of ya. But most important, that kin bring it back on ya with quickness.

. . .

The large, noisy metal door opened, banging against the wall. Somebody was in a big hurry. Startled me big time!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Hey! Shane! Ya in there polishing your pistol or something?

Vin? Is that you Vincent?

Yeah. Man! Yor fifteen minutes late for fourth period. Mrs. Radcliff sent me to get ya. Ya fall asleep in there? C’mon! C’mon! She’ll shoot me if I come back empty handed.

Trey and Chad grabbed Vin and hauled him out of the restroom.

We’ll kill the little faggot later, I heard Trey say.

Before he finished his sentence, they dropped Vin’s body on the floor in front of me.

I woke myself up screaming, NOOOO! NOOOO!

Angel wrapped me in his arms. Shane, another nightmare. You’re safe now, Shane. I’ve got you. Estas bueno, Shane. I’ll hold you. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.

. . .