Last Burst of Color: A Book of Poetry
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Last Burst of Color - Katherine Mellan
poetry.
Constant State of Grace
i whisper,
here i am.
ripples on still water, a distorted reflection,
all the colors entwined in each other.
i am at peace following my wayward heart
even though my path is twisted and turned
and often, i travel alone.
i explore the lost spaces of my Self
and i am not afraid,
though i tremble at the sorrow and joy
i find within me.
i try and peer into people,
i want to know them so then, perhaps,
i will know me.
sometimes i hesitate to touch,
wondering if i'm incapable of being a comfort.
i am in a constant game of hide-and-seek
with my answers
and i love them although Truth is true Pain
as much as it is true Joy.
i am truly living in a constant state of grace,
and i whisper,
here i am.
I Am Not My Mother
wind through the reeds
rippling the water
letting the trees' whispering free.
auburn hair
can't relax
tears in my eyes
needing.
(i am my mother.)
blue eyes
brown skin
holding needing in.
(i am my father.)
curly auburn hair
writing words with ashes
learning to relax
letting it all go
so i can see what happens.
(i am not my mother.)
(i am not my father.)
A Goodbye
i let your emotions become my own
and i was soon lost,
until you left me alone in the forest and
i sank beneath waves of despair.
i was suddenly, painfully found.
but now i wear my heartbreak and my courage
like an open wound and a scar.
i sit and bleed in silence,
enjoying the feeling of feeling again.
i don't know exactly where you are,
but each evening i say goodnight, sweet dreams,
i hope to never see you again,
i hope i never leave my heart so close to your sweeping sword again.
the heavens hear me and they weep shooting stars,
the wind hears me and moans across the distances
ruffling your hair and throwing snow from the mountaintops.
i fear only that you will never leave --
that if someone would look close enough,
they would see you in the background of my stories,
in between the lines of my poems,
in the echoes of my words.
i feel pain like the cruelest call of life
to know that i want you gone forever,
because our infatuation was so sweet…
when it was sweet.
now i am alone in the best way,
without your attention, without your opinions.
only my eyes will cut through the thin fabric
i wrap around me.
i will bleed, but i will be the one holding the dripping knife,
i will cry, but it will be my words that bring the tears,
i will laugh, but it will be my lightness that bubbles up.
thank you for the memories, for the lessons,
for the betrayal, for the love,
thank you for the summer nights and long days,
thank you for the encouragement,
thank you for your cruelty,
thank you for your beauty,
for it has inspired me to new heights,
heights which will soon be the stepping stones
for my feet and hands
as i climb up the rungs of Joy and Life
and Pain and Truth
to a greater and more wonderful understanding.