TouchPoints for Men

INTRODUCTION

PSALM 119:91, 160   |   Your regulations remain true to this day, for everything serves your plans. . . . The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.

PSALM 119:105   |   Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

PSALM 119:111, 162   |   Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart’s delight. . . . I rejoice in your word like one who discovers a great treasure.

What a treasure we have in the living Word of God! The Holy Bible is relevant to today’s issues and gives solid guidance for daily living. In TouchPoints for Men you will find more than one hundred topics, in alphabetical order; each topic is followed by questions, Scriptures, and commentary that tells you what the Bible says about it. The table of contents contains a complete listing of the topics for quick reference. While we could not cover every topic, question, and Scripture related to the subject of this book—men—our prayer is that you will continue to deliberately search God’s Word to grow closer to God and discover how following his manual for living brings great joy and satisfaction. Whether you read through this book page by page or use it as a reference for topics of particular interest to you, may you find your answers in God’s Word as you make it your daily guide.

Enjoy your treasure hunt!

The editors

2 TIMOTHY 3:16   |   All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.

ACCOUNTABILITY

Why is accountability so important?

PROVERBS 12:15   |   Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

Good advisers can keep you from doing things that might hurt you or others.

What happens when there is no accountability?

JUDGES 17:6   |   In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.

1 SAMUEL 13:11-13   |   Saul replied, . . . You didn’t arrive when you said you would. . . . So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering myself before you came. How foolish! Samuel exclaimed. "You have not kept the command the L

ORD

your God gave you. Had you kept it, the L

ORD

would have established your kingdom over Israel forever."

Without accountability, people always tend to sin. The consequences eventually hurt you, hurt others, and pull you away from God.

How do I become more accountable?

JEREMIAH 23:24   |   Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth? says the L

ORD

.

If you’re going to take accountability seriously, you have to begin with God. You will better understand what you are doing and why you are doing it when you understand for whom you are doing it. God knows all the secrets of your heart anyway, so why try to hide anything from him? Be honest with God, and tell him the struggles you have in following him.

PROVERBS 27:6   |   Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Purposefully choose wise friends who will hold you accountable. Their honesty may hurt at times, but it can save you from greater pain down the road.

How can I effectively hold someone else accountable?

TITUS 1:7-8   |   He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered. . . . He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life.

In order to help others with accountability, you must hold yourself accountable first. Not only should you know God’s commands, but you should consistently try to obey them and work to develop good judgment. If you are going to minister to others by holding them accountable, you must be wise, honest, godly, trustworthy, and kind yourself.

Promise from God   1 JOHN 2:3   |   We can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments.

ADULTERY

What is God’s definition of adultery?

HEBREWS 13:4   |   Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

Adultery is being unfaithful to your spouse. In general, this involves having a sexual relationship with someone other than your wife. But even unfaithful thoughts or an intimate emotional relationship with another woman can become adulterous if it takes you away from your wife.

MARK 10:11   |   Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her.

The commitment to remain faithful till death do us part is serious. It should not be taken lightly.

MATTHEW 5:28   |   Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

When you look lustfully at another woman, you are being unfaithful to your spouse.

Why is adultery dangerous?

EXODUS 20:14   |   You must not commit adultery.

God has commanded you to be faithful to your wife—committing adultery is blatant disobedience.

PROVERBS 6:27-29   |   Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.

Like most sin, adultery is an act of momentary pleasure that can have dire and lasting consequences—a lifetime of regret and pain.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10   |   Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? . . . Those who indulge in sexual sin, . . . or commit adultery, . . . none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Even if you are not caught in your sin during your lifetime, you won’t get away with it forever.

How can I protect myself from adulterous relationships?

PROVERBS 2:16   |   Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman.

JAMES 1:5   |   If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.

Wisdom gives you the discernment you need to avoid adultery. You still must make the choice to avoid it, but having God’s wisdom will help you recognize early warning signs that you are moving in the wrong direction.

PROVERBS 4:25-27   |   Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.

If looking lustfully at women other than your spouse might lead you into adultery, then not looking at them that way will help you avoid adultery. It can be challenging, but having faithful eyes is one of the keys to successfully avoiding adultery.

PROVERBS 5:3-4, 7-9   |   The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. . . . So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.

When faced with adulterous temptations, don’t be tempted to think that you can handle it. The best course of action is to run away and not look back.

PROVERBS 5:15, 18   |   Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. . . . Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

You are more likely to commit adultery when you allow discontentment to creep into your heart. You won’t be tempted to shop around if you are content with your wife and rejoice in the blessing she is to you.

Promise from God   MATTHEW 5:8   |   God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

ANGER

Why do I get angry?

NUMBERS 22:29   |   You have made me look like a fool! Balaam shouted.

Anger is often a reaction to hurt pride.

GENESIS 4:4-5   |   The L

ORD

accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

1 KINGS 22:18, 27   |   Didn’t I tell you? the king of Israel exclaimed to Jehoshaphat. He never prophesies anything but trouble for me. . . . ‘Put this man in prison, and feed him nothing but bread and water until I return safely from the battle!’

ESTHER 3:2, 5   |   Mordecai refused to bow down or show [Haman] respect. . . . When Haman saw that Mordecai would not bow down or show him respect, he was filled with rage.

When people are confronted, rejected, ignored, or don’t get their own way, anger is a common reaction.

1 SAMUEL 18:8   |   What’s this? [Saul] said. They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands.

Anger is often a reaction to feelings of jealousy over what others have or what they have accomplished.

When is anger appropriate?

JOHN 2:15-16   |   [Jesus] drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!

Anger over sin is not only appropriate but necessary.

When I am angry, what should I avoid?

JAMES 3:5   |   The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

Avoid speaking your mind when you are angry. More often than not, you will regret words and actions that result from your overreacting to a situation.

1 SAMUEL 19:9-10   |   As David played his harp, Saul hurled his spear at David. But David dodged out of the way, and leaving the spear stuck in the wall, he fled and escaped into the night.

Avoid acting on impulse in the heat of anger. You may do something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Everybody gets angry at times. What should I do when I get angry?

EPHESIANS 4:26-27   |   Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Stay under the control of the Holy Spirit through prayer, and try to resolve your anger quickly.

Promise from God   PSALM 103:8-9   |   The L

ORD

is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not . . . remain angry forever.

ATTITUDE

What kind of attitude does God want me to have?

1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7   |   Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

An attitude of love.

PHILIPPIANS 2:5, 7-8   |   You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. . . . He gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

An attitude of humble servanthood.

PHILIPPIANS 4:4   |   Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!

An attitude of joy for all God has done for you.

PHILIPPIANS 4:6   |   Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

An attitude of dependence on him for all your needs.

What kind of attitude is displeasing to God?

GENESIS 4:6-7   |   Why are you so angry? the L

ORD

asked Cain. Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.

An attitude of anger and resentment.

NUMBERS 21:5   |   Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die here in the wilderness? they complained. There is nothing to eat here and nothing to drink. And we hate this horrible manna!

An attitude of complaining and ungratefulness.

PROVERBS 18:12   |   Haughtiness goes before destruction.

An attitude of pride.

What is the key to having a good attitude?

ROMANS 8:6   |   Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

ROMANS 12:2   |   Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Let God’s Holy Spirit, rather than your sinful nature, control your mind.

Promises from God   MATTHEW 5:5, 8   |   God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. . . . God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

AUTHORITY

Why is human authority necessary?

JUDGES 21:25   |   In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.

1 PETER 2:13-14   |   For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right.

God has instituted human authority to bring order and security to society. Authority in the business world, the church, and the family has the same purpose. Properly exercised, it is essential in teaching others, caring for others, and holding others accountable.

What if I have a bad attitude toward authority?

HEBREWS 3:7-10   |   The Holy Spirit says, Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness. There your ancestors tested and tried my patience, even though they saw my miracles for forty years. So I was angry with them, and I said, ‘Their hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.’

Sometimes you might get tired of being told what to do: You want to chart your own course and become your own person. But being your own person and rebelling against authority are two very different things. Authority is not a bad thing—the abuse of authority is a bad thing. God’s authority—his rules—not only will save your life but will lead you to success and blessing. Don’t rebel against his authority, because you will jeopardize your very soul. Being your own person doesn’t mean doing whatever you want; it means using your God-given personality and talents to serve him by serving others.

Is seeking to gain a position of authority a bad thing?

MATTHEW 20:26   |   Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.

JOHN 3:30   |   He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

Don’t seek positions of authority for the sake of power or self-promotion or blind ambition. If you want to be looked up to by others, then have a servant’s heart, be willing to take responsibility for your actions (not passing the buck when it’s convenient), refuse to stay silent when things are wrong, and do not seek glory for yourself. The world has taught you to look and act cool, to disrespect authority, and to bend the rules as far as you can. But in the end, it’s the people who have consistently lived with kindness, integrity, and a deep love for God who will be most respected and honored.

Promise from God   PROVERBS 29:2   |   When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice.

BIBLE

How can a book written so long