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    dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
    dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
    dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
    Ebook118 pages1 hour

    dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks

    By Les Parrott and Leslie Parrott

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    About this ebook

    A third of America’s singles are dating online. Millions of singles find the love of their life through a dating site. So what about you? Do you fear megapixels and modems will take the romance out of finding love? Are you put off by a stigma that no longer exists? Or maybe, with more than 1,000 online dating sites to choose from, you’re wondering who is truly safe and trusted. Whatever your reasons, this easy-to-read book will help you gain confidence in finding love online. You’ll explore:
    • Ways to Avoid Liars, Losers and Freaks
    • Six Ways to Know if Online Dating is for You
    • The Big Myths About Cyber Dating
    • Five Questions You Absolutely Must Ask Before Signing Up
    Improve your love IQ with the help of relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. Learn the inside information you need to know about using dot.com dating to find your potential soulmate.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTyndale House Publishers
    Release dateMay 3, 2011
    ISBN9781414360737
    dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
    Author

    Les Parrott

    No. 1 New York Times bestselling author and psychologist Dr. Les Parrott has been featured on Oprah, CBS This Morning, Today, CNN, Fox News, and The View, and in USA Today and the New York Times. Dr.  Parrott's books, often coauthored with his wife, Dr. Leslie Parrott, have sold more than three million copies and have been translated into more than thirty languages. He is the creator of three revolutionary relationship assessments: SYMBIS.com, DeepLoveAssessment.com, and Yada.com. Dr. Parrott and his wife, Leslie, live in Seattle with their two sons. Visit LesandLeslie.com.   

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      Book preview

      dot.com dating - Les Parrott

      megapixels and modems—the new normal for dating?

      I met my husband online. We lived three streets away from each other but never would have met otherwise.

      —Vickie Wagoner

      A man sends a knowing glance to a woman from across the room. Her head tilts slightly as she sees him. She lifts her shoulders and touches her hair. Their eyes lock for a brief moment. She smiles, then slowly drops her eyelids, tilting her head down and to the side. Volumes of body language are written between them in mere seconds. The exciting spark of mutual interest leads the man to walk toward her and strike up a conversation and possibly ask for a date.

      It could happen anywhere: school, church, a party, a restaurant, even standing in line at the grocery store. But these days, for many, those romantic sparks are just as likely to be found online as they are to be found in line.

      There’s no denying it. People are finding their soul mates on the Web as often as they are anywhere else. More than a third of America’s ninety-seven million singles are dating online. With the click of a mouse, single people are meeting other singles. In fact, more than half of the people who have signed up for an online dating service have been on a date with someone they met online. According to Mark Penn, author of Microtrends, one in five Americans in their twenties, and one in ten Americans in their thirties or older are actively looking to find their soul mates online.1 And the numbers grow larger every day.

      Is it working? The answer is an unequivocal yes. Singles of all stages and ages are not only finding someone to date; they’re also finding matrimony. Every week we hear from happy couples who met in cyberspace and are enjoying marriage together. More than twice as many couples who married last year met through online dating services compared to social events.2 According to a recent study conducted by a consumer group, one in five people who’ve used dating sites have gone on to marry someone they met online. That’s more than the number of couples in America who say they met in church.3

      Why We Wrote This Little Book

      As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie), we think a lot about relationships. We’ve written more than a dozen books on the topic. We teach university courses on relationships and marriage. On most weekends you’ll find us speaking at a relationship seminar, usually in a church, somewhere in North America. We have a Web site (RealRelationships.com) where we provide complimentary video answers to relationship questions people ask when they write to us. We do television, radio, and magazine interviews on relationship issues almost weekly.

      Because of all that, we hear from thousands of singles across the country every year. And the question they ask us more than any other is this: Do you think I should try online dating?

      The question typically comes from the earnest hearts of people who are genuinely wondering when or if they will find the love of their lives. The heartfelt sincerity behind this often-asked question—which comes from the young and never married as well as from the more mature widowed and divorced—set us on a quest some years ago to research the practice of online dating from every angle. In the end, it resulted in more than just this little book. We’ll be up front: It resulted in a compelling call to cofound an online dating site that does something for Christian singles that no other site has done before. We’ll fill you in on that, just briefly, at the end of this book.

      Our Promise to You

      For now, we simply want to give you the information from our research that we believe you’ll find helpful when it comes to being smart about this increasingly popular tool of electronic dating. Whether you end up going online to find your special someone or you decide to rely on old-fashioned means for finding your romantic sparks, we want to help you improve your Love IQ by helping you get savvy about your options. This holds true even if you’ve already tried online dating and ended up being skeptical.

      We’ve made this book brief and to the point. Each chapter is only a few short pages because we don’t want to load you down with unnecessary details. We promise to cut to the heart of the matter by focusing on the following three major issues:

      • First, we’ll debunk the myths too many people still hold about online dating, typically because they are misinformed or are relying on old information.

      • Second, we’ll help you determine whether online dating is for you, and we’ll show you six ways to know for sure.

      • And finally, we’ll give you a list of questions you absolutely must ask before you sign up for any online dating site. We think they could make or break your online dating experience.

      Before we leave this introduction, we want you to know something. We’ve written every word of this book with you in mind. We don’t know you, of course, but we do know that you are sincere about finding that special someone. You wouldn’t read this book if you weren’t. We also assume that you could be anywhere from your twenties to late in your more-seasoned years. You may have never been married, or you may be divorced or widowed. We also assume you are a person of high moral standards and you hold a personal Christian faith. You’re not looking for the proverbial hookup; you’re not cruising the club scene. You’re holding out for the very best that God has for you. And it’s our heartfelt prayer that you will find it—soon. This book is dedicated to helping you do just that.

      With every good wish and prayer,

      images/signatures.jpg

      —Les and Leslie Parrott

      Seattle, Washington

      Part 1

      The Six Big Myths of Online Dating

      Online dating has revolutionized the way people find and pursue potential mates.

      —Ellen McCarthy

      1

      Myth: Online Dating Carries an Embarrassing Stigma

      People hear success stories, try it for themselves, shed the stigma, and later proudly announce: We met on an online dating service.

      —Joe Tracy4

      It started with the very first couple to ever meet online. The year was 1982 when Chris Dunn met Pam Jensen on a CompuServe CB Simulator program. Computer users nationwide were able to be connected in an early version of a chat room. After a few months of virtual chatting, Chris flew from New York to Chicago to meet Pam face-to-face. People said it wouldn’t last, and even Chris’s father thought it was a joke. But a year later, Chris and Pam exchanged wedding vows.

      Their courtship and wedding were featured on numerous television programs and in newspaper articles, including a New York Times story titled Of Bytes and Bulletin Boards.5That was more than twenty-five years ago, and Chris and Pam are still in love and happily married.

      These days, of course, a couple falling in love online is hardly newsworthy. But Pam and Chris were charting new territory. At the time, Pam recalls, computers weren’t as pervasive in our homes and our daily life. To a lot of people, especially my parents’ generation and their friends, it seemed very alien, a very suspicious concept to even be communicating like that.

      Today the couple lives on the north side of Chicago. If it weren’t for the way we met, I think we could be any other married couple, says

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