dot.com dating: finding your right someone online--avoiding the liars, losers, and freaks
By Les Parrott and Leslie Parrott
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
- Ways to Avoid Liars, Losers and Freaks
- Six Ways to Know if Online Dating is for You
- The Big Myths About Cyber Dating
- Five Questions You Absolutely Must Ask Before Signing Up
Les Parrott
No. 1 New York Times bestselling author and psychologist Dr. Les Parrott has been featured on Oprah, CBS This Morning, Today, CNN, Fox News, and The View, and in USA Today and the New York Times. Dr. Parrott's books, often coauthored with his wife, Dr. Leslie Parrott, have sold more than three million copies and have been translated into more than thirty languages. He is the creator of three revolutionary relationship assessments: SYMBIS.com, DeepLoveAssessment.com, and Yada.com. Dr. Parrott and his wife, Leslie, live in Seattle with their two sons. Visit LesandLeslie.com.
Read more from Les Parrott
Real Relationships: From Bad to Better and Good to Great Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love Like That: 5 Relationship Secrets from Jesus Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Love Talk Workbook for Men: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Healthy Me, Healthy Us: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as You Are Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Talk: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Real Relationships Workbook: From Bad to Better and Good to Great Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love Talk Workbook for Women: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Helping Couples: Proven Strategies for Coaches, Counselors, and Clergy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrazy Good Sex: Putting to Bed the Myths Men Have about Sex Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The One Year Love Talk Devotional for Couples Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings3 Seconds: The Power of Thinking Twice Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trading Places: The Secret to the Marriage You Want Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5L. O. V. E.: Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Lifelong Love Affair: How to Have a Passionate and Deeply Rewarding Marriage Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Strengthen Your Marriage: Personal Insights into Your Relationship Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Hour That Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related to dot.com dating
Related ebooks
The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRelationships That Work (and Those That Don't) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person: Helping Singles Find Each Other, Contemplate Marriage, and Say I Do Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The unGuide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Meet the Love of Your Life Online in 3 Months or Less!: The Skeptic's Guide to Online Dating Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOnline Dating for Women: The Basics: Dating for Women, #1 Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Finding a Husband, Dating & Sex for the Single Christian Woman Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRelationships Do Matter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOnline Dating: How to Successfully Find My Soulmate Online; Secrets Revealed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGetting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed & Totally Sober) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAvoiding Mr. Wrong: (And What to Do If You Didn't) ?. Paperback Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Best Advice on Finding Mr. Right: An iVillage Solutions Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAll the Good Ones Aren't Taken: Change the Way You Date and Find Lasting Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dating with Purpose: A Single Woman’s Guide to Escaping No Man’s Land Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5L. O. V. E.: Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dating on a Purpose: An Illustrated Guide to Intentional Dating for Commitment-Conscious Millennials Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Relationship Playbook for Women: 7 Questions For You and Your Soulmate Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDating with a Purpose Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRevelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Grown Woman's Guide to Online Dating: Lessons Learned While Swiping Right, Snapping Selfies, and Analyzing Emojis Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFinding the Right Relationship: How to Avoid Toxic Partners H Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMarriage Minded: An A to Z Dating Guide for Lasting Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFinding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When You Love Too Much Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We're Just Not That Into You: Dating Disasters from the Trenches Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Christianity For You
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Book of Enoch Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bible Recap: A One-Year Guide to Reading and Understanding the Entire Bible Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table: It's Time to Win the Battle of Your Mind... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mere Christianity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Holy Bible (World English Bible, Easy Navigation) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Law of Connection: Lesson 10 from The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Grief Observed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wild at Heart Expanded Edition: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Less Fret, More Faith: An 11-Week Action Plan to Overcome Anxiety Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'll Start Again Monday: Break the Cycle of Unhealthy Eating Habits with Lasting Spiritual Satisfaction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Story: The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Evidence That Demands a Verdict: Life-Changing Truth for a Skeptical World Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for dot.com dating
3 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
dot.com dating - Les Parrott
megapixels and modems—the new normal for dating?
I met my husband online. We lived three streets away from each other but never would have met otherwise.
—Vickie Wagoner
A man sends a knowing glance to a woman from across the room. Her head tilts slightly as she sees him. She lifts her shoulders and touches her hair. Their eyes lock for a brief moment. She smiles, then slowly drops her eyelids, tilting her head down and to the side. Volumes of body language are written between them in mere seconds. The exciting spark of mutual interest leads the man to walk toward her and strike up a conversation and possibly ask for a date.
It could happen anywhere: school, church, a party, a restaurant, even standing in line at the grocery store. But these days, for many, those romantic sparks are just as likely to be found online as they are to be found in line.
There’s no denying it. People are finding their soul mates on the Web as often as they are anywhere else. More than a third of America’s ninety-seven million singles are dating online. With the click of a mouse, single people are meeting other singles. In fact, more than half of the people who have signed up for an online dating service have been on a date with someone they met online. According to Mark Penn, author of Microtrends, one in five Americans in their twenties, and one in ten Americans in their thirties or older are actively looking to find their soul mates online.1 And the numbers grow larger every day.
Is it working? The answer is an unequivocal yes. Singles of all stages and ages are not only finding someone to date; they’re also finding matrimony. Every week we hear from happy couples who met in cyberspace and are enjoying marriage together. More than twice as many couples who married last year met through online dating services compared to social events.2 According to a recent study conducted by a consumer group, one in five people who’ve used dating sites have gone on to marry someone they met online. That’s more than the number of couples in America who say they met in church.3
Why We Wrote This Little Book
As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie), we think a lot about relationships. We’ve written more than a dozen books on the topic. We teach university courses on relationships and marriage. On most weekends you’ll find us speaking at a relationship seminar, usually in a church, somewhere in North America. We have a Web site (RealRelationships.com) where we provide complimentary video answers to relationship questions people ask when they write to us. We do television, radio, and magazine interviews on relationship issues almost weekly.
Because of all that, we hear from thousands of singles across the country every year. And the question they ask us more than any other is this: Do you think I should try online dating?
The question typically comes from the earnest hearts of people who are genuinely wondering when or if they will find the love of their lives. The heartfelt sincerity behind this often-asked question—which comes from the young and never married as well as from the more mature widowed and divorced—set us on a quest some years ago to research the practice of online dating from every angle. In the end, it resulted in more than just this little book. We’ll be up front: It resulted in a compelling call to cofound an online dating site that does something for Christian singles that no other site has done before. We’ll fill you in on that, just briefly, at the end of this book.
Our Promise to You
For now, we simply want to give you the information from our research that we believe you’ll find helpful when it comes to being smart about this increasingly popular tool of electronic dating. Whether you end up going online to find your special someone or you decide to rely on old-fashioned
means for finding your romantic sparks, we want to help you improve your Love IQ
by helping you get savvy about your options. This holds true even if you’ve already tried online dating and ended up being skeptical.
We’ve made this book brief and to the point. Each chapter is only a few short pages because we don’t want to load you down with unnecessary details. We promise to cut to the heart of the matter by focusing on the following three major issues:
• First, we’ll debunk the myths too many people still hold about online dating, typically because they are misinformed or are relying on old information.
• Second, we’ll help you determine whether online dating is for you, and we’ll show you six ways to know for sure.
• And finally, we’ll give you a list of questions you absolutely must ask before you sign up for any online dating site. We think they could make or break your online dating experience.
Before we leave this introduction, we want you to know something. We’ve written every word of this book with you in mind. We don’t know you, of course, but we do know that you are sincere about finding that special someone. You wouldn’t read this book if you weren’t. We also assume that you could be anywhere from your twenties to late in your more-seasoned years. You may have never been married, or you may be divorced or widowed. We also assume you are a person of high moral standards and you hold a personal Christian faith. You’re not looking for the proverbial hookup
; you’re not cruising the club scene. You’re holding out for the very best that God has for you. And it’s our heartfelt prayer that you will find it—soon. This book is dedicated to helping you do just that.
With every good wish and prayer,
images/signatures.jpg—Les and Leslie Parrott
Seattle, Washington
Part 1
The Six Big Myths of Online Dating
Online dating has revolutionized the way people find and pursue potential mates.
—Ellen McCarthy
1
Myth: Online Dating Carries an Embarrassing Stigma
People hear success stories, try it for themselves, shed the stigma, and later proudly announce: We met on an online dating service.
—Joe Tracy4
It started with the very first couple to ever meet online. The year was 1982 when Chris Dunn met Pam Jensen on a CompuServe CB Simulator program. Computer users nationwide were able to be connected in an early version of a chat room. After a few months of virtual chatting, Chris flew from New York to Chicago to meet Pam face-to-face. People said it wouldn’t last, and even Chris’s father thought it was a joke. But a year later, Chris and Pam exchanged wedding vows.
Their courtship and wedding were featured on numerous television programs and in newspaper articles, including a New York Times story titled Of Bytes and Bulletin Boards.
5That was more than twenty-five years ago, and Chris and Pam are still in love and happily married.
These days, of course, a couple falling in love online is hardly newsworthy. But Pam and Chris were charting new territory. At the time,
Pam recalls, computers weren’t as pervasive in our homes and our daily life. To a lot of people, especially my parents’ generation and their friends, it seemed very alien, a very suspicious concept to even be communicating like that.
Today the couple lives on the north side of Chicago. If it weren’t for the way we met, I think we could be any other married couple,
says