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    Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt
    Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt
    Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt
    Ebook153 pages52 minutes

    Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt

    By Tim Collins and Andrew Pinder

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    About this ebook

    The brilliant follow up to Diary Of Dorkius Maximus. When Dorkius is invited by Julius Caesar on a trip to Egypt he's in for one big adventure. In a hilarious string of events, Dorkius encounters the 13-year-old King Ptolemy (that spoilt brat) and his not-so-beautiful sister Cleopatra, whom he introduces to Caesar and thus brings about one of the greatest love stories of all time (it involves a carpet), and ultimately the defeat of the pharaoh...
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichael O'Mara
    Release dateAug 15, 2013
    ISBN9781780552095
    Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt
    Author

    Tim Collins

    Tim Collins worked as a copywriter in advertising before becoming a full-time author. He writes nonfiction books for adults and children’s fiction books, including books designed to appeal to reluctant readers. His work has been translated into forty languages. His books have won numerous awards including the Manchester Fiction City award and the Lincolnshire Book award. He is originally from Manchester but now lives in London.

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      Book preview

      Diary Of Dorkius Maximus In Egypt - Tim Collins

      Numerals

      September I

      Big news. Our glorious leader Julius Caesar is travelling to Egypt next week, and guess who he’s taking with him?

      Me, that’s who.

      He wants me to meet Egypt’s ruler, a pharaoh called Ptolemy. Except his name has got a silent ‘p’, so you have to pronounce it ‘Tolemy’ or he gets angry, apparently. Sounds like a bit of a ptwerp to me.

      Ptolemy and I are the same age, so Caesar reckons I can make friends with him and convince him to pay back a load of money he owes to Rome. Seems simple enough.

      A map showing where we are going

      Caesar can obviously tell I’m going to be a great Roman hero, and I won’t let him down. Dad was quite proud of me when I told him, but Mum missed the point as usual.

      ‘That’ll be a nice little holiday for you dear,’ she said.

      Holiday? This is an IMPORTANT political mission, not a relaxing day at the chariot races.

      I asked her if she was worried about what might happen to me and she said she’d ask her sacred chickens.

      She’s crazy about those chickens. She feeds them grain and quizzes them about the future. If they eat the grain, it means things will be okay. But if they refuse, it’s a warning of bad things to come.

      Today the chickens ate their grain, so she thinks I’ll be fine on my trip.

      It’s a bonkers way to run your life, but I’m not complaining. If I had a sane mum who made rational decisions, I probably wouldn’t get to go at all.

      September II

      I told my (so-called friend) Cornelius about my trip. He was really jealous and told me the sea was full of gullibles – fire-breathing monsters that destroy ships. I knew he was making it up, but checked with Dad when I got home, just in case. Dad said the boat would only be destroyed if they put me in charge. Maybe he’s jealous, too ...

      September III

      Well this is totally NOT brilliant. I asked Dad if I could take our best slave, Linos, and he said no. He said Linos would be too hard to replace if we were killed. Like that’s going to be a worry for him if his OWN SON dies.

      Dad said I could take Odius instead, as he’s far less valuable. Of course he’s less valuable, he never does anything. He just skulks around stealing food and burping. I suppose I could use him as a raft if the ship sank, but that’s about all.

      September IV

      GREAT NEWS! Linos is coming after all. I managed to trick my parents into agreeing.

      First I took some rotten fish guts from the kitchen and mixed them with the chickens’ grain. Then I told Mum I’d had a vision that something awful would happen if Dad made me take Odius. She scattered some of the pongy grain, and the chickens backed away.

      Mum spent the rest of the day nagging Dad. He might be able to zone me out but he DEFINITELY can’t ignore her. Eventually he gave in and said I could take Linos.

      September V

      Lucius just came round to teach me about Egypt. His lessons are usually really boring, but this one was actually pretty good.

      Lucius says that the Egyptians are weird. They worship gods with animal heads, wrap their dead pharaohs in bandages and dump them in massive triangular buildings called pyramids.

      Special Egyptian and Roman words are explained at the back.

      Oh, and they draw pictures, called hieroglyphs, instead of writing words.

      Actually, I don’t see what’s so unusual about that last one. Cornelius often writes about me using pictures.

      Unlike Cornelius, Lucius actually admitted to being jealous of my trip. He says Alexandria, the city we’re going to, is an absolutely brilliant place.

      They’ve got a lighthouse there that’s three times as big as the tallest aqueduct in Rome, and there’s a library filled with massive piles of scrolls, including EVERY SINGLE ONE ever written in Greek.

      I’m glad Lucius has never been there. His lessons go on long enough as it is. If he knew everything in the world he’d never shut up.

      September VI

      I just handed my packing list to Linos:

      *  Blank scrolls (for

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