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    The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation
    The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation
    The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation
    Ebook98 pages49 minutes

    The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation

    By Mister Average

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    About this ebook

    From one of the most prolific erotica authors comes the funniest book on wanking you will ever read. It has all the answers to questions you never thought to ask - Is God a wanker? Was Eve made to be the first bit of porn? Is wanking cheating? Wanking facts, songs, literature, who does it and why? Mutual masturbation, wanking jokes and, of course, the origins of wanking. But wait...there is more! It is the ultimate gift for all your wanking friends and will have you laughing at the author's light hearted approach to this very serious subject. Or maybe you will just cry... Break open this taboo subject and embrace the art of wanking.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMister Average
    Release dateMay 25, 2014
    ISBN9781310434471
    The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation
    Author

    Mister Average

    Mister Average is a pen name of one of the most prolific writers of erotic short stories. Most of my stories have a message, or a question. Yes, they are naughty, but they often also present a dilemma. Most contain some love and romance, most of them reflect what we are like in our average lives. The characters are generally normal, average, people - like me and you in realistic situations, in realistic fantasies. I write about the kinds of things you fantasize about. If you follow me on Twitter you will find out about free days and discount coupons that I send out from time to time and you will see every new release. Enjoy.

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      Book preview

      The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation - Mister Average

      THE WANKER’S GUIDE TO MASTURBATION

      Smashwords Edition

      * * * * *

      Published By Mister Average

      at Smashwords

      * * * * *

      Published by Mister Average

      The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation

      * * * * *

      Copyright © 2014by Mister Average

      This ebook MAY NOT be distributed through any file sharing mechanism. Any copy of this ebook obtained in such a manner is an illegal copy.

      All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

      Image licensed by Depositphotos.com/ lofilolo

      Dedicated to all those who like a little self-love every now and then – enjoy!

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This is a work of fiction, the characters are not real. Please do not distribute this ebook freely, you can purchase a copy at your nearest online retailer.

      Recent releases by the author…

      How Do You Spell Cunt? , a day in the life of the erotica author – revealing and hilarious, why don’t you join me?

      Older Men, Younger Women – The Bus – an exciting short story, continuing the Older Men, Younger Women characters into another episode.

      Public Sex Stories – we all fantasise about doing it in public, I share some wild stories of outdoor and public sex with you.

      Forbidden Sex Stories – the original story in the Forbidden Sex series. Join Alex as he is tempted by his partner’s sister.

      For my other ebooks, please go to the end of this book.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      ORIGINS OF WANKING

      WANKING FACTS

      WANK BREAK

      NAMES FOR WANKING

      WHY WANK?

      WANKING JOKES

      UNUSUAL WANKING TECHNIQUES

      MORE WANKING FACTS

      WANKING JOBS

      WANKING IN PUBLIC

      MASTURBATION SONGS

      WANKING IN LITERATURE

      SOME MORE WANKING JOKES

      FEELING HYSTERICAL?

      SEMEN

      WANKING RECORDS

      DID YOU KNOW?

      MEMORABLE SAYINGS

      A WORLD DEDICATED TO WANKING

      HEARD THESE?

      WANKING GAMES

      WANKING CONFESSIONS

      WANKING – IS IT CHEATING?

      WANKING WITH FRIENDS

      MUTUAL MASTURBATION ANYONE?

      WANKING ONLINE

      OK – MY FINAL WORDS

      ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      THE WANKER’S GUIDE TO MASTURBATION

      INTRODUCTION

      Hello there, dear reader. My name is Mister Average and I am an incredibly famous erotica author. Well, I would be if anyone bought my naughty crap, but that’s another story for another time!

      As an erotica writer I spend most of my day thinking about sex, researching sex and writing about sex – and I have noticed one of the most popular topics is good old fashioned masturbation. So I thought, why not share some of my expertise with the world in a fun guide to the subject rather than just spitting out more hot erotica with people using and abusing each other sexually?

      And here we are – The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation.

      Now let me tell you that this work will be the most important book on the subject of masturbation EVER written in human history. So buy it, immerse yourself in it – even rub yourself against it if you are a bit like that. Most of all, just enjoy the bloody thing and laugh!

      Before we get started we should set some ground rules and clear up the terminology we are using.

      Firstly, this is meant to be a humorous book. You may not laugh, you may cry, but trust me when I say it is meant to be a humorous book. Oh, and I am not a politician, lawyer or used car salesman so you CAN actually trust me. I am an author – we never lie. You may not, however, enjoy my sense of humour when it pops up from time to time. Speaking of things popping up…

      Terminology

      The subject of masturbation involves certain body parts for both men and women, other

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