Ouch! GIFT: Encouragement for the Hurts of Life
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Full of humor and hope, Ouch! contains stories and quotes that are like Band-Aids for the soul. It soothes the rough spots on the bumpy road of life and gives expression to the exclamations of life!
Martha Bolton
Martha Bolton was the first woman staff writer for Bob Hope, helping to write his television shows, personal appearances, and military shows for approximately fifteen years. She is an Emmy-nominated writer and author of eighty-eight books of humor and inspiration. She has received nominations for a Dove Award, WGA Award, and a Golden Scroll Merit Award for Fiction.
Read more from Martha Bolton
Josiah for President: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rick & Bubba's Expert Guide to God, Country, Family, and Anything Else We Can Think Of Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJosiah for President: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Can I Just Hide in Bed 'til Jesus Comes Back?: Facing Life with Courage, Not Comforters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMaybe Life's Just Not That Into You: When You feel Like the World's Voted You Off Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRick & Bubba's Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Race You to the Fountain of Youth: I'm Not Dead Yet (But parts of me are going fast) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDidn't My Skin Used to Fit? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rick & Bubba's Big Honkin' Book of Grub Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Wow! GIFT: Celebrations for the Successes of Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRick & Bubba for President: The Two Sexiest Fat Men Alive Take on Washington Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ha! GIFT: humor for the lighter side of life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rick & Bubba Code Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt's Always Darkest Before the Fridge Door Opens: Enjoying the Fruits of Middle Age Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mentalpause and Other Midlife Laughs Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Cooking With Hot Flashes: And Other Ways to Make Middle Age Profitable Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dear Bob: Bob Hope's Wartime Correspondence with the G.I.s of World War II Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrowing Your Own Turtleneck…and Other Benefits of Aging Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYour Best Nap Now: 7 Steps to Nodding Off at Your Full Potential Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Ouch! GIFT
Related ebooks
Memoirs of a Broken Hearted Girl Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSmokey Mountain Horror Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStanding Tall: A Father's Lessons Through His Daughter's Cancer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLullabies, Liquor and Late Nights Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pitter-Pat: A Mother’s Journey from Loss to New Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Daydreams & Diaries Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHalf the Lies I Tell Aren't True Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLosing Mom: A Daughter’S Perspective on Her Mother’S Journey with Alzheimer’S Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Burden of Silence: My Mother's Battle with Aids Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Order of Things: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love's Amazing Grace: The Reunion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLast Trip Home: A Story of an Arkansas Farm Girl Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAfter the Violence: Seeking My Daughter, Myself, and the Child She Left Behind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDriven: A Remarkable Story of Tragedy, Triumph and Faith Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings"Some People Even Take Them Home": A Disabled Dad, a Down Syndrome Son, and Our Journey to Acceptance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Murder of Adrianne Reynolds & Other Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy is Grandma Naked? Caring for Your Aging Parent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen You Went Away: The Hearts of Men Book 2 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This Twisted Path: My Journey through Abuse and Addiction in Amish Country Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Letters to My Mother: A Survivor's Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKlonopin Withdrawal & Howling Dogs: Maybe it was God Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCall Me an Addict?: War on Women Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPerhaps Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKilling For Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSinging over Me: A Joplin Tornado Survivor's Journey Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPaws to Reflect for Dog Lovers: 60 Devotions on Trust & Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsState of Horror: North Carolina: State of Horror Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMore Than a Crush Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brook Harold Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThey Were Graveyard Dead: Cases That Stay With You Forever: Texas True Crime, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Christianity For You
Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Decluttering at the Speed of Life: Winning Your Never-Ending Battle with Stuff Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wild at Heart Expanded Edition: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mere Christianity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Law of Connection: Lesson 10 from The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Stories We Tell: Every Piece of Your Story Matters Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Story: The Bible as One Continuing Story of God and His People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Lead When You're Not in Charge: Leveraging Influence When You Lack Authority Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'll Start Again Monday: Break the Cycle of Unhealthy Eating Habits with Lasting Spiritual Satisfaction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Grief Observed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Book of Enoch Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Undistracted: Capture Your Purpose. Rediscover Your Joy. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5NIV, Holy Bible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Related categories
Reviews for Ouch! GIFT
2 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5cute and funny book to read . I enjoyed reading it .
Book preview
Ouch! GIFT - Martha Bolton
Giving expression
to the events that
punctuate life …
Ouch
encouragement for the hurts of life
Martha Bolton
the exclamation on series
HOWARD
PUBLISHING CO.
Our purpose at Howard Publishing is to:
Increase faith in the hearts of growing Christians
Inspire holiness in the lives of believers
Instill hope in the hearts of struggling people everywhere
Because He’s coming again!
Ouch! © 2006 by Martha Bolton
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America
Published by Howard Publishing Co., Inc.
3117 North Seventh Street, West Monroe, LA 71291-2227
www.SimonandSchuster.com
www.howardpublishing.com
06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Edited by Between the Lines
Interior design by Stephanie D. Walker and Tennille Paden
Illustrations by Rex Bohn
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bolton, Martha, 1951-
Ouch! : encouragement for the hurts of life / Martha Bolton.
p. cm.—(the exclamation series)
ISBN 1-58229-477-1
eISBN: 978-1-451-60553-2
1. Consolation. 2. Encouragement—Religious aspects—Christianity. 3. Christian life—Humor. 4. Christian life—Anecdotes. I. Title. II. Series.
BV4909.B65 2005
082′.02′07—dc22
2005052549
Tips for Hospital Visitations
reprinted from Honey, the Carpet Needs Weeding Again! by Martha Bolton, Vine Books. Used by Permission.
No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations within critical articles and reviews.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982, 1988 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message © 1993. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Contents
Part One: Ouch!
Ouch!
Ohhh! The Ouch! of Illness
Ow! The Ouch! of Accidents
Oh Brother! The Ouch! of Family Wounds
Uh-Oh! The Ouch! of Mistakes
Aw, Man! The Ouch! of Failure
Yikes! The Ouch! of Difficult People
Oh No! The Ouch! of Frustration
Oops! The Ouch! of Embarrassment
Help! The Ouch! of Helplessness
So There! The Ouch! of Revenge
No Fair! The Ouch! of Unfairness
Run for Cover! The Ouch! of Problems
Part Two: Ah!
Ah! Let the Healing Begin
Ah! Rx: Laughter
Ah! Rx: Love
Ah! Rx: Service
Ah! Rx: Forgiveness
Ah! Rx: Moving On
Ah! Rx: Courage
Ah! Rx: Friendship
Ah! Rx: Faith
Ah! Rx: Hope
Ah! Rx: Community
Ah! Rx: Encouragement
Ah! Rx: Perseverance
Ah! Rx: Acceptance
Ah! Rx: Time
Ah! Rx: Apology
Part Three: Finally!
Finally! Get Out of the Way!
Finally! I Get It!
Finally! I Made It!
Part One
Ouch!
Ouch!
Calamity: a more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering.
Ambrose Bierce
Remember the good old days when a Band-Aid, a kiss, a warm blanket, and a bowl of double-fudge chocolate-chip cookie-dough ice cream was all it took to make our ouches feel better? Wouldn’t it be nice if the rest of life’s problems could be that easily fixed?
Unfortunately our problems tend to get a little more complicated the older we get. It’s not so easy to fix a broken marriage with a banana split (although we may try) or to cope with the diagnosis of a chronic illness with a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Chicken soup may be great for the soul, but it won’t