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    Drink, Slay, Love
    Drink, Slay, Love
    Drink, Slay, Love
    Ebook354 pages5 hours

    Drink, Slay, Love

    By Sarah Beth Durst

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    Vampire romance takes a snarky turn in this humorous novel, coming soon to TV screens as a Lifetime Original Movie!

    Pearl is a sixteen-year-old vampire…fond of blood, allergic to sunlight, and mostly evil…until the night a sparkly unicorn stabs her through the heart with his horn. Oops.
         Her family thinks she was attacked by a vampire hunter (because, obviously, unicorns don’t exist), and they’re shocked she survived. They’re even more shocked when Pearl discovers she can now withstand the sun. But they quickly find a way to make use of her new talent. The Vampire King of New England has chosen Pearl’s family to host his feast. If Pearl enrolls in high school, she can make lots of human friends and lure them to the King’s feast—as the entrées.
         The only problem? Pearl’s starting to feel the twinges of a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends—especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache—to be slaughtered? Then again, she’s definitely dead if she lets down her family. What’s a sunlight-loving vamp to do?
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMargaret K. McElderry Books
    Release dateSep 13, 2011
    ISBN9781442423756
    Drink, Slay, Love
    Author

    Sarah Beth Durst

    Sarah Beth Durst is the author of fantasy novels for children, teens, and adults. Winner of the Mythopoeic Award and an ALA Alex Award and thrice nominated for the Andre Norton Nebula Award for Middle Grade and Young Adult Fiction, she lives in New York. Visit her at sarahbethdurst.com or on Twitter: @sarahbethdurst.

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    Reviews for Drink, Slay, Love

    4/5

    126 ratings30 reviews

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    • 4/5
      The Little BookwormPearl is a fun-loving, blood-drinking sixteen year old bad girl vampire. That is until she is stabbed by a unicorn. Suddenly she is a different kind of vampire, one who can walk in the sunlight and has a reflection. But she is also turning into a different kind of girl, much to her family's displeasure. Now they have given her the task of luring a large meal to the Fealty Ceremony and, for Pearl, that means going to high school.I loved Pearl in a weird way. I love that she was so badass and so out to prove herself and that doesn't change even after the unicorn incident. I love that it was a unicorn of all things that stabbed her. So random and fun. But I loved Pearl's gradual transformation the best and the fact that she went to the library of all places as soon as she could walk in the sunlight. Her fascination with daylight was almost touching. It's something everyone just takes for granted but as a vampire she had no experience with it. Pearl was awesome, even in high school. She was just the coolest. And Evan, the boy, was super sweet and I liked him too. It is a romance-light book which works for the story being told.The story was really fun and I liked this book. The vampires and the unicorns, it's a weird combination but it works in this book. I did have a little laugh at the Vampire King of New England because I mean, come on, what kind of title is that? But the world was built nicely and everything made sense and there were some good light hearted laugh out loud moments in the midst of Pearl's identity crisis. And prom, of course.
    • 5/5
      Perfect. Awesome. If you’re reading this, you’re wasting your time, because the real stuff is in the story.
    • 5/5
      Great book! Although Matt and Zeke could have been involved more
    • 5/5
      so freaking awesome!!!
    • 5/5
      READ IT!
    • 1/5
      Got 12 pages into this and had to DNF it. It was terrible. I thought the story would be funny, but it is just dumb and I did not enjoy the writing style either.
    • 3/5
      I think I took this book to seriously, either that or I am just feeling stupid. It was quite funny at times, playing with the tropes of vampire stories. Pearl is a vampire, she has no conscience, no soul nor a metaphorical heart. She belongs to her Family, a clan. She's born, not turned and awaiting the century's Feast, where she will officially join the ranks of adult vampires, if she survives it. Then she gets skewered by a unicorn, and she changes. Her vampire boyfriend Jadrien is a cliché of gigantic proportions, and this is where my problems with this story starts, because while it plays so wonderfully with the clichés at times, I had a hard time telling play apart from seriousness ,because while this book is in many ways toying with vampires, it also tells the tale of Pearl's potential redemption. It has a clear (and not jokey ) message, while still remaining a fun and light hearted story. It works surprisingly well, and maybe I'm the idiot, but sometimes the jokes and the serious usage of the tropes muddle together a little too, much, but overall this is a very entertaining and fun read. Even if the word pointy is thrown around a lot, I got the joke the first time. I think.
    • 4/5
      Cute, funny and exactly what I needed.
    • 5/5
      I enjoyed this book to no end. I wish it were a series, because I would love to see more of these characters. I love the disparity between the humans & vampires & how Pearl interacts with humans when she first starts her "mission." She is so blunt & matter-of-fact, something not often seen in likeable characters. The humorous aspect makes the book that much more entertaining. I am looking forward to reading more from this author.
    • 4/5
      Prior to reading this book I had read Ice and The Lost by Durst and enjoyed them both. Durst has been an author that I always enjoy, but I never think her books are absolutely amazing. This book was similar to the others I have read in that aspect. I enjoyed it and thought it was well written. This was a quick and fun read, that was a bit different from other YA paranormal stories out there.Pearl is a sixteen year old vampire, she’s vicious, full of herself, and sees humans as less than...well...human. That is until she is stabbed through the heart by a Unicorn, her first thought is, “where the hell did a unicorn come from” then she passes out. When she wakes up amidst her vampire family she discovers something crazy; she can walk in the sun. Her family quickly takes advantage of this and assigns her the task of luring humans to the King of New England’s Feast. As part of the plan Pearl is supposed to go to High School...seriously. Things are going pretty well until Pearl realizes that being stabbed by the unicorn changed her in more ways than the obvious.I know the premise sounds a bit goofy and this is definitely a more light-hearted read. There is quite a bit of humor, but it also ends up being a sort of coming of age story for Pearl. Beneath all the silliness there is a solid discussion about people becoming who they want to be and not what their family tries to force them to be. There’s also an underlying theme of forgiveness. I was kind of surprised that such a solid heartfelt message was delivered in a story with such a goofy premise.Pearl definitely changes drastically over the course of the novel. Her growth and change is really what propels the story. This is definitely a “high school” paranormal book. Pearl spends a lot of time in high school and some of that is spent learning to quickly navigate the social waters there. Pearl is incredibly smart and fun to read about. I also enjoyed some of the side characters; both the ones she meets in high school and the ones in her vampire family.Overall this was a fun and light paranormal read. It’s a unique premise and it worked well for this story. The story is funny and ironic, while still being heartfelt and engaging. I really enjoyed it and I would recommend to those looking for a light YA paranormal read.
    • 4/5
      This was a joy to read! Pearl’s such a great character and she made the book entertaining. I loved her wit, it provided for the majority of the comedy parts in the plot. Her sarcasm and her attempt to try and fit into school life was absolutely hilarious.The vampires in this book are well done as well. They’re bloodthirsty and ambitious. Just the way I like them! no sparkly ones here! The scheme to get Pearl into high school so she can lure the food to feed her fellow vampires was well done (plus Jadrien is quite the hottie!)Although the plot was pretty good, there were parts that are predictable and cliched. However because of Pearl and her personality (which pretty much is the highlight of the book) it can be overlooked. You pretty much figure out who the unicorn is, and Pearl’s choice on who she decides to be with isn’t a bad choice (although, I’d rather prefer the bad guy, he was your stereotypical bad boy, but you couldn’t help but fall for him.)Definitely recommended for YA lovers. Read it for Pearl! she’s one of the best protagonists you would ever find.
    • 4/5
      “You’ll never make it through life if you let
      irrational fears freeze you all the time.”

      Brief summary:

      Pearl Sange is just an ordinary vampire who takes a sip of blood from humans here and there. One day, she was attacked by a unicorn and it's horn staked her ribs! Now, she finds herself being able to bathe in sunlight! But something more than that changed about her and she's finding out if it's a good thing or not..

      The plot:

      Ahhh this story was so unique and refreshing. The humor was not forced and it just flowed naturally. Gaah, I find myself giggling and snickering every freaking time. I'm shocked to see that I am entertained by a vampire book very much! I can't tell you guys enough how much I enjoyed reading this!

      The characters:

      “You’re a teenage boy. I have boobs. What part of the equation is missing?”

      Pearl. Ahhh I love this heroine!.She's fun and feisty without being too girly. Look at that quote above, now do you see why I liked her?? Well, I don't think you do just by reading that so read the friggin' book!

      Evan touched her shoulder. "Maybe it's not that there's something wrong with you," he said. "Maybe there's something finally right."

      Evan. I KNEW IT. Anyway, it's not that hard to guess, really.

      This was one of those books that you can't help but liked everybody! All these characters had contributed something interesting in this story. I loved the Sange clan, Matt and Zeke, Bethany and really, just all of them.

      The romance:

      There's only a little amount of romance in this book and I liked it! It's light, sweet and adorable.

      This was so much fun! (Well, I knew I told you that already bit whatever.) I recommend this to anyone who is in need of a good laugh. This is the perfect stress reliever. Gaaah book, you came at the right time.
    • 4/5
      Oh man, did I have fun with this book. A teenage girl vampire with a conscience? A vampire stabbed through the heart by a unicorn's horn to gain said conscience? Yeah - I admit I was sold by the premise alone. Far too many authors take their vampires/werewolves/superantural/paranormal creatures far too seriously, and Ms. Durst's snarkily humorous take on the monster was fresh and above all, fun. Somewhere between the characters themselves and the randomly frequent snarky/snide allusions to Twilight, I found myself having more fun with a vampire story than I have for quite a long time.In this very complete world of Ms. Durst's, vampires are both born or made from humans. Pearl is a born vampire, meaning she's never been human, never been in the sunlight, and never had a conscience. Durst stays true to the most original interpretation of the nightwalking bloodsuckers: they're sensitive to Holy Water, repelled by garlic, flammable when exposed to the sun and they do not sparkle. Hunters in every sense of the word, Pearl's Family is a powerful clan aiming to increase their sway through the upcoming Fealty Ceremony. Since the type of vampires in this novel can be born not just made("turned" is the vocabulary here), the induction into a full-fledged vampiress is an important one; indeed, one that the powerful and bloodthirsty King of New England vampires will be present for, and observe closely. Pearl, the before mentioned young female vampire, within the first chapter is stabbed through the heart by a unicorn. This supposedly mythical creature's actions start to change Pearl from the typical prototype vampire. She feels emotions, guilt even, and thus is the only one of her kind to do so. By a fortuitous disaster, Pearl also learns she is the first "daywalker" of her kind: the stabbing the caused her consicence to grow also allows her where no other vampire can go. Thus the young Pearl is selected to "hunt" in the high schools in order to provide a feast for the hundreds of vampires planning to descend on her town for the Fealty Ceremony. Underneath this immense pressure, Pearl emerges as a believable teenager; one I grew warmer to (ha) the longer she remained in the sunlight. I really enjoyed Pearl and reading from her perspective: not too whiny, not too boy crazy and just the right amount of bad-ass, ass-kicking female. Pearl is by far the highlight of the novel: both my favorite character and consistently the most interesting person on the page. I want to read more stories about Pearl now.The characters besides Pearl were also mostly enjoyable, personable and vivid. From wannabe vampire hunters cum comedic duo, Matt and Zeke could be counted on to make me snort with laughter each time they appeared. Bethany, though perhaps a bit too wide-eyed to be entirely real, was a nice counterpoint for Pearl's harsher attitude and perspective. Evan, the love interest, manages to stir up real chemistry with Pearl while maintaining an aura of mystery and keeping his distance. He remains a separate character; one not dependent on Pearl. Once again, I cannot impress upon you how HAPPY it makes me when a real relationship is charted, and matures through the novel. Pearl and Evan don't immediately "fall in love forevaa!!" nor spend three hundred pages pining for one another. It's a nice change from some YA paranormal stories.The interesting set-up, the time-limit and unique proclivities of Pearl make the pace of this novel fly by. It's one of those books a reader picks up to peruse for a minute and is immediately lost within. It may drag on a bit long (in my opinion) after Pearl gains her conscience and before the King arrives, but that is a minor quibble. The secret "twist" about the unicorn was also a bit heavy-handed and obvious but far from the worst offender I've come across in that regard. Ms. Durst has crafted a very-well planned and thought-out alternate universe in which her characters can play; from new ideas on the prevalent-in-literature vampirism ("blood heists", "blood drunk" and of course the crucial, plot essential "Fealty Ceremony") to amusing and rarely used mythical creatures (when's the last time you read about a unicorn in fiction?) this is a novel that should be read and enjoyed by many people. I highly enjoyed this novel, and I think it will find love from a widely varied audience.If you see it on a bookshelf in your near future, buy it, read it, love it.
    • 4/5
      Overall, I enjoyed the story and was really intrigued by Pearl and how she was dealing with developing feelings and everything. But for some reason, it took me forever to read this. The story had it's parts where I was really into it, but then the next few pages I would be thinking about all the other books I wanted to read. My main problem was that I had the whole 'were-unicorn' figured out from the beginning. I don't know if it was really meant to be a mystery or not, but it seemed way to obvious to me and kept me from really bgetting into the story at some points.So, even though my mind wandered a bit with this one, I did really enjoy it, it's just not my favorite by Durst.
    • 4/5
      This was pretty darned entertaining. A very unusual twist on the regular YA vampire book. A very spunky heroine and wonderful supporting players. Fun, fun, fun.
    • 5/5
      I had been nervous about Sarah Beth Durst’s latest work DRINK, SLAY, LOVE because vampires seemed like a GIANT leap from fairy tales and I did not think it possible to love another book of hers more than I did ICE. Well, dear Readers, I stand here before you a changed mind because DRINK, SLAY, LOVE is made of awesome with all the right sorts of bubbly.THE GOOD BITS{How much more Buffy can you get?} I have read other books before that reminded me of Buffy, but DRINK, SLAY, LOVE has raised the bar in so many ways that I seriously think EVERYONE must read this book for the love of Joss Whedon! Vampires have never been snarkier – and if Pearl and Buffy ever got into a fight, let’s just say that I’m not sure who will come out the victor in strength and clever insults.{So fresh and so clean!} Sarah Beth Durst pulled all the stops with this story, and I definitely did not want to put this book down. EVER. What would Pearl say or do next to insult these humans who refuse to leave her alone? Do unicorns really exist? Does gym class still suck for the undead? Which vampires are friend or fiend? The genius behind DRINK, SLAY, LOVE is the delightful element of surprise and watcing Pearl react to the ridiculousness of her situation. I cannot remember a time when I had more fun with a vampire novel!{Pearl} Snarky, sexy, strong, and toasty marshmallowy inside! Why can’t all female protagonists in paranormal be like Pearl? I know I am quite particular as to what I expect from a book, but it is awfully hard to find a protagonist that simply have it all in spades. So please excuse me when I go ALL-CAPS BALLISTIC when I find Pearl to be BEYOND AWESOMESAUCE. Ka-BOOM goes my dynamite!THE BAD BITS{No sequel?} BOOOO. HISS. While DRINK, SLAY, LOVE definitely can stand on its own spine and sometimes it is best to leave a good book alone, I just have a smidgen of WANT to have more Pearl and company in my life.THE OVERALLICE may have melted my heart, but DRINK, SLAY, LOVE is a big slurp of delicious red velvet cheesecake that I would gladly give up my blood for! This is one book that you absolutely MUST READ (NOW!) - it will renew your faith that vampires are not a thing of the past and prove that Sarah Beth Durst still has aces up her sleeve that are itching to come out. I cannot wait to see what she has cooked up in VESSEL because it sounds and looks stunning!
    • 4/5
      I hope your ready to fall in love and laugh. That's what I did when I read this book. The witty lines make this a delightful read. The plot is simply amazing and you get sucked right into Pearl's life. She is trying to live by her family's rules and lifestyle when her world gets turned upside down. She realizes maybe what she has always known may not be right. This book has it alove, laughter, fighting, vampires, unicorns and much more. I recommend it to anyone who wants a YA vampire book you want to sit and read till it's over. Just beware reading around anyone as when you start laughing out loud people may think your crazy.(
    • 4/5
      Drink, Slay, Love was cute and sweet with a unique take on mythical creatures, lol. I loved Pearl's dorky friends Matt and Zeke. :) They were super funny. I didn't think it was very predictable either, so that's always a plus. I'm not sure if it's intended to be a series, but I'd read the sequels if it is. I'm interested in how everything plays out. Also, LOVE the cover. It was the main reason I bought the book.
    • 5/5
      Pearl is the typical sixteen year old vampire that is concerned with fighting, her next meal, and her boyfriend Jadrien. But all of that changes when she is staked by a unicorn. The first thing she notices is that she can go out into the light of day. After enjoying all the wonders that happen during the day, she learns that the King is going to hold his Fealty Ceremony at her families place.The King wants to have the family provide enough humans to feed all the vampires at the Ceremony. But with Pearls ability to go out in the daylight, she is volunteered to solve that problem. Pearl goes to high school to try to find a solution. There she starts learning about the humans and thinking about them as much more than just food. Now she is trying to keep her family and her human friends happy.I was completely thrown for a loop when it came to the unicorn, that was a great twist. I really liked how Pearl comes to think about humans as equals. This is a really good book. I have to admit that I really couldn’t think of anything to grump about. If you like paranormal young adult stories, you need to read this one.I received this from the Simon & Schuster Galley Grab.
    • 5/5
      What a fun take on the vampire story! This one adds unicorns too. Pearl is your typical teenage vampire - beautiful and completely amoral. She and her boyfriend/rival Jadrien are out taking in the night when she decides she wants a final pre-dawn dessert and decides to snack on the boy who scoops ice cream at the Dairy Hut. Things don't quite go according to plan when she finds herself staked by the horn of a gorgeous, mythical unicorn. Next thing she knows she finds herself back home and unable to explain how she got there. Her family refuses to believe that she was staked by a unicorn. After all, they are mythical - unlike vampires.Everyone at home is excited by the up-coming Fealty Ceremony and the visit of the King of New England. Pearl gets involved in the planning too. But Pearl finds out that she is changing. She discovers that she no longer has to fear daylight. She loves the sunshine and the light through the stained glass windows of the Public Library.The morning she discovers that sunlight doesn't cause her to burst into flame is the same morning that she meets Evan who, by his own description, has a Good Samaritan hero-complex issue and a bit of OCD. He is the one who takes her to the library and who attempts to befriend her much to her bafflement. He is also handsome, kind, and very eager to befriend Pearl. While Evan seems like the typical - but hotter - teenage boy, he has secrets too.Pearl's parents decide to use her new ability to be active in the daylight to solve a problem relating to the up-coming visit of the King. They need to provide a feast and send Pearl to enroll in the local high school to find suitable entrees for the party. At first Pearl is uncomfortable consorting with the animals but gradually she develops a conscience, some empathy, and starts to make friends. Evan is there along with his friend Bethany and they help her adjust.I loved the character of Pearl. She was such a snarky character and she had quite a way with words. As she tries to convince her family that she was staked by a unicorn, she uses phrases like a "My Little Pony refugee" and says it looked like "it had jumped off a poster from the bedroom of an eight-year-old girl." When speaking to the unicorn, she suggests it go off and "poop rainbows." This was the sort of book that I couldn't put down. I was enthralled by the characters and the story. I recommend it to readers who like their vampire stories with a bit of humor and who like watching a main character grow and change. Pearl does grow and change a lot in this book and she really isn't happy about it.
    • 4/5
      So, Pearl is just like any other teenager. But unlike other teenagers it takes her being staked through the heart with a unicorn horn to realize that. And oh yeah, she's also a vampire. But after the mythical incident (which is ironic because she's kind of mythical too). Pearl soon finds out that she is now able to be out in the sunshine. This leads to encounters with Evan and Bethany, two very interesting humans who become her sort-of friends. Pearl has a hard time fitting in with her family anymore now that she's so different. Her parents decide that in lieu of the King coming for a 'feast and tribute', Pearl will be the means of luring the meal. Which means she'll need to navigate the vicious waters of high school and not get to close to the happy meals with legs. This book was so funny. I laughed and smiled my way through it. But that in no way diminished the emotional turmoil that Pearl goes through as she grows up over the course of the book. I loved watching her learn how to have fun, relax, and make friends. Also, seeing Pearl learn what home and family REALLY are was beautiful. Her romances with Evan (a special 'human') and Jadrien (another vampire) are great in their own ways and they each reflect how much she changes by the end of the book. A truly fun book that I would definitely recommend and it was a great Halloween read!VERDICT: 4/5 Stars*No money was exchanged for this review. This book is now available in stores and online.*
    • 3/5
      Normally, I don’t read these kind of books. I wasn’t a big fan of the book this title plays off of, I’m not a big fan of the new vampire books in general – too.. “sparkly”. Still, I really enjoyed Sarah Beth Durst’s Enchanted Ivy and thought I’d give this one a shot. Although, honestly, had she not contacted me directly, I don’t think I would have gotten it.So the positives – this book can be laugh out loud funny. I’m not sure if that laughing is as a result of the story itself or at myself for reading it, but I did laugh quite a bit. The whole premise is so outlandishly crazy – I mean, unicorns stabbing vampires through the heart – seriously? that I can’t help but chuckle even as a little part of me dies inside.Although it has a predictable plot line (which reminded me of a mix-match of Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Drink, Slay, Love has likeable characters and a story that made for a very easy read. I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Durst was poking fun at all the vampire stories circulating around these days and when the story got completely ridiculous, I kind of felt like I was in the “inside circle”, poking fun with her.Overall though, this is a clean, fun read for those younger teenagers looking for something with a shiny cover and fun story.
    • 4/5
      I wasn't sure what to expect going into this one. I mean, the cover is one of my hands-down favorites of the year, and the teaser synopsis that was released earlier this year is just brilliant (What happens when a vampire is stabbed through the heart by a were-unicorn's horn? She develops a very inconvenient conscience. Oops.) But it was the kind of idea that could have been very, very right or very, very wrong. Thank god, it turned out to be very, very right. Drink, Slay, Love is one of the most purely fun books I've read in awhile. And a big part of this is Pearl. Pearl is one of the most absolutely delicious MCs I've read in recent memory. She's smart - and a smart-ass - and she has this great dark humor to her as a result of being a vampire. I love her reluctant humanity and just-as-reluctant budding romance. But a big part of what makes her so fun is that she works on two levels: there's the Pearl that is very aware and serious about her vampire-ness, and is freaked out by the fact that she's changing and *gasp* growing fond of the food, and there's the part of Pearl that the reader sees that is almost like dramatic irony - there's what Pearl says she thinks and wants, and then there's what she actually does and what the reader can see happening. So her dark humor remains dark throughout, but becomes more humor and less just seriously dark. She's never super cuddly, and even when she realizes what has happened to her, she is just as much pissed off * about it as she is reluctantly pleased. It's so fun to read, and I'm so glad that Durst didn't make her mopey or all that nice. She's a biting character (hardy har har), and I enjoyed that.And Pearl's fun voice extends to the whole novel. Drink, Slay, Love is enjoyable because it's aware of the books that come before it, and it pokes gentle fun at them. I mean, there's a vampire-themed prom with cardboard Cullen cutouts. Pearl laughs to herself when the sunlight through stained glass makes her "sparkle". It's just this great tongue-in-cheek, wink-and-a-nod story that doesn't take itself too seriously, and I love that. I also think it was a wise move on Durst's part to work from the accepted myths of vampires, rather than creating her own. It could have been risky, could have come off as lazy, but it didn't because it was well done and saved on ridiculous info-dumping while allowing her to be playful and have little inside jokes with the reader. It also gave her room to work with the unicorn mythos and play with that a bit more. I absolutely loved the idea of having supernatural creatures (vampires) who don't believe in other supernatural creatures (unicorns), and I loved that the unicorns were the ones to sort of perpetuate their own myths as myths.I keep saying "I loved it, it was fun, I loved it, it was fun" and I guess that's what it all comes down to. This book doesn't make you work for it. It allows you to just have fun, to relax and enjoy the story, and laugh and laugh. But it does so without being throwaway fluff. You can tell Durst had fun with this story, and as a result, the reader has fun too. Highly recommended, especially as a funk-breaker for those reading funks we all go through.*Here's an excerpt of what I mean by this. Pearl finally learns what exactly happened to her and her reaction is very honest and true to who she is, as well as being a good point, I think. But it's slightly spoilery, so..."You still want to save me, even after...what I told you I did.""Of course," he said.Gently, she touched the side of his face, cradling his cheek in her hand. She felt his warmth against her cool-as-a-serpent skin. "But you already have."He quit swaying, and he stared at her with his brilliant eyes, so earnest and pure. "You mean that?"She wished he hadn't asked. It had been such a perfect line. "No." Pressing closer to him, she said in a whisper that was barely above a breath, "You messed up my life in a high-handed, daddy-knows-best, alpha-male way and reshaped me to suit your own ideals without regard for my culture or family background, not to mention my personal wants and needs -- and that's if I'm being charitable..."I adored this. If I didn't already love Pearl by this point, I would have whole-heartedly after this.
    • 5/5
      ABSOLUTELY LOVED ITRose is more concerned with beating the heck out of her boyfriend Jadrien, getting her food high by sucking down the blood from the guy who works at an ice cream shop and doing whatever her "parents" tell her to do. One day, she is attacked by a beast and left to die and since Pearl is a vampire, she is pretty much toast (literally!), if left in the sun. Something strange has happened and Pearl wakes up in the sun on her doorstep. I would say hilarity ensues, but not so much, since she thinks her life is pretty much over, especially when her parents decide that she should attend the local high school. As Pearl tries to uncover the beast who has ruined her life, she finds more than she bargained for and finds that humans aren't just a food source.The beast turns out to be a unicorn and unicorns are one of the few creatures that can kill a vampire, so what went wrong or right in this case? Well, I can't tell you that because then I would have to kill you. The story really comes together while her family is planning a Fealty Ceremony for the Vampire King where they plan to feast on the local students. As the plot unfurls, Pearl finds she is gaining a conscious and doesn't want to see her new friends harmed. Pearl is probably one of the snarkiest characters to grace a page in my recent memory. She has a sharp tongue as well as teeth. Finally, an author brought together some of my favorite things in one story. After reading Unicorns VS Zombies, I was really in the mood for more unicorns, so when I was lurking around Amazon and this popped up, I was beyond thrilled! Sarah Beth Durst has taken a vampire story to a whole new snarky level. I was reminded a bit of MaryJanice Davidson's Queen Betsy, but with less shoes. I really hope that this will be a series since I would love to read more about Pearl.
    • 4/5
      I couldn’t resist the description of this YA title when it was offered by Simon and Schuster, a vampire gets staked by a unicorn and develops a conscience – what’s not to love? Drink, Slay, Love is a fun, quirky story with surprising wit.Sixteen year old vampire Pearl Sange is stunned when the pretty sparkly unicorn stakes her with his horn in the alley behind the ice cream store and even more surprised when she wakes on the sofa at home, her Family peering down at her. Her chest is sore and she is a little confused but it isn’t until she is caught by a pair of wannabee hunters and forced to face the sunrise that she discovers she is now immune to daylight. Pearl is dazzled by the day, the way light streams through stained glass windows, but is less impressed by the crush of humanity. Her parents see Pearl’s unique ability as the perfect opportunity to gather the bodies they need to provide sustenance at the impending Feast in honor of the Vampire King, so Pearl is made to attend high school. But daywalking isn’t the only side effect of the unicorns attack, Pearl is beginning to see humans as more than food and handing over the entire Junior year as the main course no longer seems to be such a good idea.It’s brave of Durst to step away from the mold and combine vampires with vampire slaying were unicorns, but I think it works in Drink, Slay, Love because she doesn’t discard the traditional mythology completely. This isn’t a story to take seriously, it is generously sprinkled with humour and blissfully free of melodramatic teenage angst. It’s a lighthearted YA novel with snappy dialogue and delightful attitude.The characters might be just a touch shallow but they are fun. Pearl is smart, snarky and fierce, and even as her allegiance transitions from her Family to her friends she doesn’t lose that core of moxie (for want of a better word). Durst manages to combine characters that represent every highschool clique – from the geeky Zeke and Matt to mean girl’s Ashlyn and Tara. Evan has his own secret to keep of course but is a sweetie, I like that the relationship between Evan and Pearl is low key.Durst cleverly gives a nod to the (legions) of adult YA fans with her references to 1980′s teen movies classics Pretty In Pink and the Breakfast Club. For her more age appropriate readership, their are some less than subtle digs at the Twilight Saga.Drink, Slay ,Love was much better than I had expected and I enjoy being surprised by a book. Amusing, clever and fresh its the perfect read for girls that once loved ponies and now swoon over brooding vamps.
    • 5/5
      I have enjoyed Sarah’s books in the past and was very excited to get my hands on another title by her. Drink, Slay, Love is about Pearl, a sixteen year old vampire without even a sliver of a conscience. She views humans as her meals and nothing more. And at the same time, she was also hilarious and a refreshing heroine in the YA world. I know that does not sound like it would work but it does. Too often we see the guy coming to the girls rescue and Pearl would never tolerate that. She has always taken care of herself and wants to keep it that way. She is also very happy with her life at the moment; she has a hot boyfriend, a family that is high up in the vampire hierarchy, and her choice of humans to feed on. The problem comes in when she gets stabbed one night by a unicorn and wakes to learn she can now walk in sunlight. Walking out in daytime is not the only change in Pearl’s life though; she begins to grow a conscience and hates every, single, second of it. She does not want to start feeling for the humans that she has to feed on, or see what being her snack does to their body and mind afterwards. The day after for a human is not pretty and Pearl does not like that she is starting to feel sympathy for them. She wants her old life back, so she immediately starts searching for that unicorn and a way back to her old life.Her parents on the other hand, see Pearl being a daywalker as an opportunity and send her to the local high school to gain the students trust. They want her to lure them to an event where the Vampire King of New England will be, so the humans can be served up as dinner. At first, Pearl is okay with this plan, but when she gets to know the students and her conscience starts to emerge further, she is not so sure it is a good idea. As she tries to cope with this new attitude she begins to befriend two students at her school, Evan and Bethany. They always seem to show up when she needs help and go out of their way to make her feel welcome in high school. Bethany is always perky and gets on Pearl’s nerves quite often, but Evan just gets under her skin. She reacts to him every time he is near and she has no idea why. Her bad-boy boyfriend was all she ever wanted, but now Evan, the Good Samaritan, seems to be wiggling his way into her heart. This was another great aspect of the book, the good guy winning out over the bad-boy. How often does that happen in a novel? Not very often in books I have read. I enjoyed seeing the good guy getting a chance and watching Pearl’s idea of a perfect guy change as the story progressed.The vampire mythology in this world was also fascinating. These are not the vampires we typically see in the paranormal world. They are ruthless, heartless and evil. They have no love for humans and want nothing more than to just snack on them and move onto the next one. The idea that a vampire in this world could grow a conscience was fascinating and I enjoyed Sarah’s exploration of this idea and watching Pearl go through a difficult, but necessary transition. The other creatures in this book were unicorns, and not just unicorns, but were-unicorns. I don’t think I have ever heard of that before and soaked up every detail Sarah gave us about them. I did not think that vampires and unicorns could really mix well in the same world, but Sarah blended them together flawlessly. The way the unicorns fight and their purpose were both very interesting. I have never thought of Unicorns as creatures who go on the offensive much, but Sarah has redefined my expectations for them through this book.Another bonus to this book was no teenage angst. No one was sitting up in there room crying over a guy or pondering their next move while pouting. Pearl was a take action girl and not one to sit around and mope. I appreciated Sarah’s ability to have the story be about kids in their teens, without all the whiny behavior and sullen attitudes that can sometimes come with it in the YA world.Overall, I really enjoyed Drink, Slay, Love and LOVED Pearl! She was a kick-butt heroine and had me laughing out loud multiple times throughout the book. I am not sure if this book is part of a series or not, but I would love to see more of Pearl in the future. The way this book ends it could just be a stand-alone, but Sarah has left the door open for the story to be expanded into more. Either way I loved this book and following Pearl through her metamorphosis from cold-blooded killer, to a vampire who cares about the lives of humans. Sarah has written another engrossing world filled enchanting new mythology, an exciting plot and a strong heroine you will be cheering for.
    • 5/5
      I’ve been steering clear of vampire novels recently, mainly because the market is over flooded and they all appear to be the same. “Drink, Slay, Love” is different though. It’s hilarious. It’s charming. It’s everything I want in a book. Pearl? She’s just awesome.The story starts out with Pearl, a sixteen year old vampire, while she’s out on a hunt. She’s visiting the Dairy Hut, her favorite place to ‘snack’, when she’s stabbed by a unicorn. It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous, but given that the story isn’t meant to be taken seriously, it works. After she’s stabbed by the unicorn, she begins to change. She’s able to walk in sunlight now, and her family uses it to their advantage. They’ll be hosting the feast for the Vampire King of New England and they are going to need as much food as possible to serve their hungry guests. They send her to high-school in order for Pearl to make friends (after all, they need to be invited inside of their prey’s homes). But Pearl suddenly begins to develop a conscience – she actually cares about the humans, something she never thought possible. She struggles to maintain her vampire instincts while also adapting to the human world. Not wanting to spoil the story, I’ll just say this: if you like vampires and you enjoy laughing you need to read this book. Plain and simple.I adored Pearl and Evan (oh, Evan). I enjoyed the fact that “Drink, Slay, Love” didn’t take itself seriously. In fact, I don’t think there’s much I didn’t like about this book. It was an incredibly fun read.
    • 4/5
      Review courtesy of All Things Urban FantasyDRINK SLAY LOVE is ridiculously fun. I expected the ridiculous part based on the description (vampire slaying unicorns!), but I was I was not prepared for the witty, sly, and smart characters, dialog, and story. I think I’ve been hoodwinked. How did I miss the fact that unicorns are the perfect vampire hunters? Think about it. What kills vampires? Stakes through the heart. What do unicorns have? Giant stakes growing out of their heads. Of course now I’m looking at narwhales in a completely different way too, but that’s not relevant. Still, the whole unicorn vs vampire makes a strange kind of sense, doesn’t it? What also makes a strange kind of sense is Pearl, who was great fun as a character. Her initial response to humans was very arrogant and dismissive (reminded me a bit like Illyria from Angel, but with a strong sense of humor). She doesn’t bat an eye when her dad brings home dinner in the form of a bellhop trussed up on the dinning room table. But what I loved even more was that she wasn’t evil. She didn’t laugh at human fear, she just didn’t even notice it. Like all vampires, she viewed humans in the way we would cattle, a pat on the head and they’re off to the butcher. No big deal. And tasty with ketchup. When she ends up in high school, she just got better. Everything she said was dripping with irony and superiority. And the other students were just as fun. No throw away or flat characters. There were plenty of surprises too that kept me on my toes and just made the story even better.DRINK SLAY LOVE has a sense of humor about itself that never once flagged. It’s full of snappy dialogue that was genuinely clever and funny, a storyline that was wacky but completely enjoyable, and a believable sweet romance. I had a blast reading this book.Sexual Content:Kissing
    • 5/5
      I seriously loved this book - vampires and unicorns?!? - two of my favourite mythical creatures in one book! I had no idea this book had unicorns in it when I requested it from GalleyGrab (since I didn't really read the synopsis - the cover drew me in), but loved it so much when I first read about the unicron. How does a teenage vampire explain to her family that she was nearly staked to death by a unicorn? "It wasn't a hunter," Pearl said. "It was a unicorn. I know, I know, mythical. But I remember everything right up until the moment after the stupid horse skewered me." "Sorry, dearest," Aunt Lianne said, " but did you say 'unicorn'?" "Horse. Pointy horn. Kind of sparkly," Pearl said. "Frankly, it was ridiculous. Mythical creature hanging out behind the Dairy Hut like it was on a smoke break." Silence filled the room.The whole story was very unique - a vampire becoming a daywalker? How fun! Pearl's character is amazing to follow while she learns what it feels like to be in the day light... she devours everything that we humans generally take for granted, like the warmth of the sun on our skin, hearing the rustle of the leaves in the trees, seeing the colours of the birds and flowers, and my favourite thing standing in the library surrounded by the colours of the stained glass as the sun shines through! The writing is absolutely hilarious and the characters are wonderful. Pearl's human friends Evan and Bethany reminded me so much of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's sidekicks, Zander and Willow (though Evan is smoking compared to Zander, but still has the witty comments and Bethany has zero magical mojo, but is still the super nerd).Watching Pearl make her way through the human jungle that is high school was so intriguing. She is sassy, yet practical. She befriends many different social circles in the school, stands up to teachers when others are afraid to speak out, and she even joins the prom committee. Since Pearl has nothing to compare this too and has not been pre-exposed to the cliques, she pretty much makes choices based on what she thinks is right and wrong, not based on group mentality or peer pressure. She even develops a conscience and becomes a better person along the way. It's truly a great ride watching her change from this bloodsucking fiend with no regard to human life to becoming someone who would fight to protect the same lives she would have taken weeks ago. Oh and did I mention - love triangle? Oh yes it's a good one too. Existing vampire boyfriend bent on human destruction versus smoking teenage human with a heart made of gold. What's a teenage vampire girl to do?There are a few twists in the story that I did not see coming. And the whole sparkly unicorn storyline does get explained, but I don't want to spoil any of it, because it's so good! The unicorns actually become a big part of the story and I am really looking forward to more from Sarah Beth Durst - I want to see more sparkly unicorn/daywalking vampire interaction!
    • 4/5
      Okay, I loved it. Plain and simple. Pearl is witty and likeable (even if she doesn't want to me). Evan and Bethany are adorable. And the book as a whole is just funny. The dry, sarcastic humor from Pearl is fantastic! I loved her. Let's talk about the characters first... Pearl. What a funny name for a vampire, right? How ironic that she would have such a symbolic name. I mean, Pearl, like the jewel that is the epitome of innocence. And don't forget about the other famous Pearl in literature (Scarlet Letter). Coincidence? I think not. Her name suits her. It captures the change that she undergoes after the unicorn attack in such a clever way. Calling her something like Elvira would never work; it doesn't show that new conscience developing in the lovely little blood sucker. Evan is dreamy. He doesn't initially show that he likes Pearl for anything other than a friend, which is hilarious. It drives Pearl crazy. Evan comes across as a really nice, knight in shining armor sort of guy. Of course, he has one heck of a secret to share. Then there is Bethany. Perky, bubbly, almost annoying Bethany. She befriends Pearl, and it becomes an odd, but endearing, friendship. I can't forget about the would-be vampire hunters (who stink at it) Zeke and Matt. They are a riot. I'm pretty sure there might be a collective IQ of about 80 with these two. The two of them offered great comic relief. Pearl's family dynamic is interesting. She has one uncle that wants to kill her, one that isn't right in the head, and one that only speaks in quotes from Shakespeare. Add that to a mother that is cold and calculating, a cousin Antoinette that seems a lot like the awful historical figure, and another cousin, Charlaine, that hates her. As if it was Pearl's fault she walked into the sunlight and set herself on fire? Vampires can hold such grudges! I would be seeking refuge at high school too if I lived with this family! This was a fun read that I enjoyed immensely. It was such an original story, and very refreshing. On a deeper level, though, it's more than just a fun read. There is actually a lot of stuff going on. I already mentioned the importance of Pearl's name. The effects of the transformation are huge as well: Pearl develops a conscience, makes friends, and actually enjoys being in the sun. Those are not normal vampire qualities. Pearl's transformation make it a story of self discovery and change. After all, at some point in the story Pearl is quoting Kafka's Metamorphosis. Again, not coincidence. I wouldn't be doing to book justice if I didn't mention the irony throughout this book! There were puns galore, and Pearl always pointed out the examples of irony in the various situations she found herself in. I personally LOVE a story that is full of irony. Drink, Slay, Love was perfect! The level of the puns and irony were brilliant, and very well executed. They weren't forced and puny. It was good stuff.I feel like this one is a must read. Plain and simple. I'm not much of a blood and guts kind of reader, so this book didn't gross me out too much. There was minimal blood suckage. It was just funny and delightful. I will be buying this one when it comes out. I actually hope there will be another book featuring Pearl and Evan. I enjoyed them so much!

    Book preview

    Drink, Slay, Love - Sarah Beth Durst

    Chapter

    ONE

    One hour until dawn, Pearl said. She leaped off the roof and landed catlike on the pavement. Oodles of time, if we steal a car.

    Her boyfriend, Jadrien, stretched out on the roof of Outback Steakhouse. He was a shadow, a lovely shadow, against the green tin. Come back up, Pearl, he said. I’ll compare your eyes to stars, your lips to rubies, and your breath to industrial-strength air freshener.

    Your charm and sincerity overwhelm me.

    Rolling onto his knees, Jadrien clasped his hands to his heart. Oh, Pearl, jewel of my heart, light in my darkness, grace me with your nearness so I might feast upon your loveliness.

    Pearl laughed, even as she admired his silhouette. His silk shirt rippled in the night breeze. I want to feast on mint chocolate chip. Or maybe Chunky Monkey.

    You can taste the difference?

    Mint chocolate chip, sharp and clean like an ocean breeze. Black raspberry, rich and smooth as a summer night. Bubble-gum ice cream … She faked a shudder. Oh, the horror, the horror.

    Pearl scanned the parking lot. This close to dawn, the pickings were slim. Brand didn’t matter, but she’d like a car that could handle curves without threatening to somersault.

    She selected a sporty little Kia. Curling her hand into a fist, she slammed her knuckles into the back window. The car alarm wailed as cracks spread through the glass. She hit it a second time, and the shards crumbled. Pearl reached in and unlocked the door.

    On the roof, Jadrien jingled a set of car keys. Want these?

    She examined the flecks of blood on her knuckles. Your timing needs work. The cuts were already healing, but still…. Where did you get those?

    My waitress was obliging, he said. Or, at least, disinclined to protest. He winked, and then he tossed the keys as he jumped off the roof. Pearl caught the keys, beeped the alarm off, and slid into the driver’s seat.

    I can drive, Jadrien offered.

    I’m sixteen, Pearl said. By human laws, I’m allowed. She flashed him a grin as he climbed into the passenger seat. It occurred to her that she’d never driven with Jadrien in the car. He was in for a treat. She stuck the key into the ignition and turned the car on.

    The radio blared to life, country music.

    Pearl winced and flipped the station. She stopped on Bohemian Rhapsody. Smiling, she cranked up the volume. Shifting into drive, she said, Seat belts.

    I’m immortal, he said. Why do I need a seat belt?

    Pearl floored the gas, and they whipped through the parking lot. Jadrien grabbed the door and the dashboard to brace himself.

    Cute, Jadrien said.

    Always, she said.

    Do you know how to drive? he asked.

    Sure, she said. This one is the gas.

    The wheels squealed as Pearl spun the steering wheel to the left and zoomed out onto the street. She rolled down her window and let the wind whip into the car. At near dawn, Greenbridge, Connecticut, was nearly dead. Streetlamps (every other one out) lit the sidewalks in circles of yellow. Trash rolled down the streets like tumbleweeds. Storefronts—a deli, a dry cleaner, an antique store—were dark. The local homeless man slept under a pile of filthy blankets with his shopping cart close beside him. Pearl loved this time of night: just before the cusp of day, when the humans were still caught in their last dream of the night and her kind had one final moment of delicious darkness to drink down.

    She inhaled deeply and tasted a hint of onion in the air.

    Your waitress had onion soup, didn’t she? she said to Jadrien.

    He licked his fangs and then retracted them. Mmm, yes. Why?

    You’re fragrant, Pearl said.

    He scowled, an expression that suited him well. His high cheekbones looked extra high, and his cleft chin looked extra clefty when he pouted. As she admired him, Pearl swung into the Dairy Hut parking lot and slammed on the brakes. The Kia fishtailed, and she parked diagonally across two spots.

    You clearly don’t know how to park, Jadrien observed.

    Nonsense, Pearl said. I simply know how to make an entrance. She opened the car door and stepped out. Her leather skirt rode up her thighs. She flashed a smile at the flock of humans that clustered by one of the picnic tables. Earlier in the night, the flock would have been bigger, but now, so close to dawn, only a few remained. Seniors, she guessed, pulling the traditional spring-semester all-nighters. Otherwise known as dessert.

    Care to join me? Pearl asked.

    Nah. Full. He patted his stomach. But you have fun.

    Always do, Pearl said.

    See you next dusk, my loveliest night rose.

    She felt the humans’ eyes on her as she walked toward the door. She added a little strut to her walk for their benefit and was gratified to notice that she’d stopped all conversation. A smile played on her lips as she entered the Dairy Hut. The bell rang as the door closed behind her.

    Open twenty-four hours, the Dairy Hut had the look of a store that didn’t close for long enough to be cleaned. The door of the soda fridge was streaked with so much dirt that it looked clouded. The newspaper bin was tilted sideways and missing a shelf. The sign listing flavors and specialty drinks was missing key letters (like the i in drinks, which someone had replaced with a scrawled u and someone else had then erased).

    The kid at the counter—skinny, freckled, and not quite grown into his nose—ogled her as if she were a movie star.

    Hi, Brad, she said as she leaned against the counter.

    His eyes darted down to her black lace blouse. Y-you know me? he asked her breasts.

    She did, but he didn’t remember that. Name tag, she said, nodding at his my-name-is-Brad, how-may-I-serve-you name tag.

    His face flushed pink, which made his freckles stand out like polka dots on a dress. C-can I get you something?

    You, she purred.

    Slack-jawed, he stared at her. She laughed. She loved playing with Brad. He never failed to follow the script perfectly. And a cup of mint chocolate chip, she added.

    R-right, you want ice cream! Of course! Stumbling over his feet, he managed to yank open the cover to the ice-cream container. She watched, amused, as he tried to scoop ice cream into a cup. His hands shook so badly that it took him three tries. As if delivering myrrh to Baby Jesus, he held out the cup of ice cream to her.

    She shook her head. It’s not for me; it’s for you.

    Huh?

    You have a break, don’t you? Come share some ice cream with me. Pearl winked at him and then tossed her sleek black hair. With Brad, the hair always did the trick. Tonight was no exception. She strutted to the back door of the Dairy Hut. Listening to his shuffling sneakers, she didn’t have to glance back to know he was following her. Bring the ice cream, she said. She grabbed a napkin from a dispenser.

    Behind her, she heard him scramble to fetch the ice cream. She pushed the door open and walked out to the employee parking lot behind the Dairy Hut. It wasn’t the loveliest of environments. The air-conditioning unit jutted out, blocking the sidewalk, and half the parking lot was dominated by twin dumpsters. Hulking, rusted vats, they overflowed with black garbage bags and crushed cardboard boxes. She wrinkled her nose at the stench. At least the dessert was worth the odor. Pearl turned to face her ice-cream boy.

    H-have we met? Brad asked.

    Pearl didn’t answer him. Instead, she walked up close to him, closer than friendly, and lifted the cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream out of his hands. Try a bite, she said. She scooped a spoonful and raised it to his lips.

    Automatically, he opened his mouth.

    Good boy, she murmured. She slid the ice cream in between his lips.

    Why are—, he began.

    Shh, she said. Nearly dawn. No time for talking. Snuggling against him, she continued to feed him ice cream. He swallowed mechanically, as if her proximity erased all brain function. When he finished the cup, she tossed it and the spoon aside. Pearl pressed closer and pushed his straggly hair back away from his neck.

    And then she extended her fangs and sank them into his jugular.

    At first his body jerked, but the vampire venom worked fast. His shoulders slumped as his muscles relaxed. He stared at the dumpsters with wide, empty eyes, as if watching a fascinating television show.

    Sweet blood spilled into her mouth. Lovely, she thought. She sucked, and her tongue darted out, licking up the drops that seeped out. He tasted sweet and minty fresh, exactly as she’d told Jadrien.

    She quit after a few swallows. Withdrawing her fangs, she licked the two tiny wounds clean. The marks healed seconds after her saliva touched them, smoothing out to pink skin, only slightly rosier than the rest of his neck.

    There now, she said. Run along inside. We’ll play again another day.

    With glazed eyes, he stumbled to the back door of the Dairy Hut. By the time he reached the ice-cream counter, he’d have forgotten all about this incident. Again. She wiped her mouth with the napkin and checked the sky.

    Twenty minutes until dawn.

    In the bare branches, birds twittered as loudly as frat boys at the end of an all-nighter. Not that she needed the birds to tell her about the approach of dawn. Stretching, she yawned. She could feel the coming sunrise. It was time to head home. She turned away from the Dairy Hut—

    —and saw the unicorn.

    The unicorn stood between the dumpsters. At first she thought she was mistaken. Unicorns didn’t exist, which made his presence here unlikely at best. But there was no chance that he was simply an ordinary white horse (which, she quickly realized, would have been an odd addition to the parking lot too). Despite the thick shadows by the dumpsters, he sparkled like a horse-shaped disco ball. His traditional spiral horn beamed like a toy light saber.

    Pearl burst out laughing. Seriously? A unicorn? Please.

    He pranced out of the shadows and across the parking lot. His silver hooves jingled like bells as they struck the pavement.

    You sound like Santa’s reindeer, Pearl said. Must be embarrassing for you.

    The birds chirped even louder. She had to leave. But this … Her cousins were going to pee themselves laughing when they heard she’d seen a unicorn behind the Dairy Hut.

    Why are you here? Are you dumpster diving? Pearl asked. I can see how the horn would be useful in sorting through trash. But is that really appropriate behavior for a mythical creature? Shouldn’t you be eating honey and sunshine?

    The unicorn didn’t speak. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised—horses didn’t speak, and he was horselike. He paced toward her. She eyed his shimmery neck and wondered what a unicorn would taste like. Thanks, but I’m stuffed, she said.

    He bumped his nose against her shirt.

    Hey, no equine drool on the blouse, Pearl said. Did he expect her to pat him? She wasn’t an animal lover. She’d never been the type to plaster her bedroom walls with posters of horses or of fluffy kittens dangling from limbs above the caption HANG IN THERE. Well, this is all very nice, but I have to run. Go on, shoo. Go … poop rainbows … or whatever it is you do. She wiggled her fingers at him to wave good-bye, and then she turned her back on the unicorn and started to walk away.

    Ow! She felt a sharp sting between her shoulder blades. Her breath hissed out. That hurt! And then the pain intensified until it buzzed through her head. She heard a wet slithering sound, and a burning sensation spread through her lungs.

    Pearl looked down at her chest. Two inches of unicorn horn protruded from between her ribs. Red blood dripped from its point. She stared at it. The buzz in her head increased to a steady pounding as loud as a bass drum. Slowly, her brain caught up with her eyes.

    He staked me.

    The pretty sparkly horse had staked her.

    Crap, she said.

    She clutched at the bloody horn, and the world went dark.

    Chapter

    TWO

    Pearl’s eyes snapped open.

    Huh, she thought. I’m awake. That’s a lovely surprise.

    She was lying on Uncle Felix’s couch. She felt the cracked leather against her cheek, and she smelled the mix of old leather and almost-as-old blood. Family legend said that Uncle Felix had stolen this couch from a high-profile socialite—back in the days when a dead body didn’t summon a fleet of forensic scientists—and carried it on his back down thirty-six flights of stairs from the penthouse. Usually, he spent every night stretched out on it with the latest New York Times, open to the obituaries, spread across his stomach. It wasn’t a couch that Pearl had ever woken up on. Why was she here?

    Mother leaned over Pearl, and Pearl flinched at her expression. Idiot, Mother said. She poked a manicured nail at Pearl’s shoulder. I should stake you myself.

    Pearl pushed herself to a sitting position and hissed as pain shot through her ribs and radiated out her arms. Fighting to steady her breathing, she fixed her eyes on the print above the marble fireplace. It was Nighthawks, also borrowed by Uncle Felix. (He considered it demeaning to pay humans for their goods.) He’d lifted it from the dorm room of an overly emo freshman who (he’d said) had seen it as a reflection of the loneliness of human existence. Uncle Felix considered it an ironic addition to their living room since vampires, unlike humans, were never truly alone. There was always the Family.

    Several members of the Family watched as Pearl inhaled and exhaled. None of them bothered to breathe anymore. At Pearl’s age, her body behaved (mostly) like a human’s, though she could control her breath if she tried, but the vast majority of the Family had abandoned the habit in their first century. The silence made the stares worse. She needed to bury the pain fast.

    The Family didn’t like weakness.

    Only Uncle Pascha ignored her. He was contemplating his chessboard. She doubted that he’d move his piece today. It had been his turn for only six months. Once, he had gone three years between moves. He preferred a leisurely game.

    What happened? Pearl asked.

    Cousin Jocelyn snorted. Oh, not the old amnesia-for-sympathy ploy. You nearly died. How horrible. How traumatic. Blah-blah-blah. Curled up in the window seat (light-block black shades drawn, even though it was night), Jocelyn returned to typing on her laptop. The monitor’s soft glow lit the tattoos on her knuckles.

    Terribly sorry to bore you, Pearl said, but the question stands.

    No one answered her.

    Mother paced back and forth over the Oriental rug. Cousin Jeremiah crouched by the hearth, rocking slightly and grinning at her. Near him, occupying their usual positions on twin wingback chairs, Aunt Rose and Aunt Lianne continued their embroidery work. Uncle Pascha contemplated his chessboard near the china cabinet, while Uncle Felix perched pseudocasually on the armrest of the couch. Pearl guessed she had only a few minutes before he demanded that she remove herself from his couch. She intended to stand before that happened, just as soon as the sharp pain in her ribs quit feeling as if hot pokers were being rammed into her torso. Until then, she had to concentrate on appearing as if she were sitting by choice, not necessity. She put her feet up on the coffee table.

    Down, Uncle Felix said.

    She ignored him.

    Feet off, Mother said. A brush with extinction does not excuse unladylike behavior. You weren’t raised in a barn. She paused. No offense meant, Cousin Jeremiah.

    As if on cue, Cousin Jeremiah issued a high-pitched wail.

    Pearl lowered her feet.

    You could have been destroyed, Mother said. Permanent death.

    Gingerly, Pearl touched her chest. The horn must have missed her heart by millimeters. It had felt as if it had hit dead on, no pun intended. She fingered the tear in the fabric of her shirt. You’d think someone would have changed her clothes. Blood, her own, was caked on her front. It smelled like rusted iron. There wasn’t as much blood as she would have expected. Someone must have helped themselves. They probably expected a thank-you for cleaning her up, but a shower would have been nicer.

    I am fine, Pearl said.

    Mother fixed her with a stare.

    I am perhaps in dire need of a snack, she amended. She’d lost everything she’d absorbed from her ice-cream boy and from her meal before him.

    Pearl saw Jadrien glide into the living room. His shoes were silent on the wood floor, but his entrance was, for a vampire, loud. Like Pearl, he was young enough to breathe, and the sound of his breath drew the attention of everyone in the room. Each vampire noted his entrance, mentally cataloged him as safe, and then lost interest in him. Pearl, though, continued to admire him. His shirt was unbuttoned, and she could see the rise and fall of his chest.

    You found me before dawn? she asked him. He must have. She hadn’t burned to a cinder, and she would have if she’d lain in that parking lot for another ten minutes. She was rather surprised that he’d stuck around the Dairy Hut to wait for her. She’d thought he’d already hightailed it home. He never liked to cut it as close as she did.

    Nope, he said. You know I’m not the hero type. I prefer to personify the brooding, mysterious, and inherently unreliable archetype.

    Pearl rolled her eyes at him. You need to quit those night lit classes.

    But coeds are so tasty.

    We found you at sundown, Mother said, interrupting, tucked up against our front door. She pursed her scarlet lips in a thin line, as if Pearl had been caught naked out in public.

    Very close call, Uncle Felix said. He sounded enthused, but then he always perked up whenever anything new happened. Daddy said Uncle Felix was easily bored, a hallmark of his vast intellect. Uncle Pascha said it was a hallmark of a small mind. Given the angle of the porch, your fingers must have been three inches from direct sunlight at the sun’s zenith. You could have lost your hand.

    You could have lost everything, Mother said, pacing. "We could still lose everything. You may have been left as a message."

    Told you we need voice mail, Pearl said. She touched the dried blood on her blouse. It flaked under her fingernails. She didn’t think her voice betrayed how disturbing all of this was.

    Search your memory, Pearl: Does the hunter think you are rogue, or does he know about the Family? We must know how great the danger is. Mother punched her fist into her hand for emphasis, and all the younger vampires flinched.

    "I am not moving, Aunt Rose said. Stake me where I sit. I like it here. She added another stitch to her embroidery, another tiny rose to a silken counterpane that was already covered in so many minuscule flowers that it looked as if it were infested with ants. If the child wants to bring destruction on us, so be it."

    As the youngest vampire in the Family by a full century and the only one who had yet to attend the Fealty Ceremony that marked vampire adulthood, Pearl was often the child. Normally, she protested the title, but these weren’t normal circumstances.

    It wasn’t a hunter, Pearl said. It was a unicorn. I know, I know, mythical. But I remember everything right up until the moment after the stupid horse skewered me. If Jadrien hadn’t brought her home (and now that she thought about it, it was obvious that he hadn’t—he would have taken her inside and downstairs to the safe rooms, not left her on the porch), then who had? It couldn’t have been the unicorn. Logistically, it wasn’t possible. No hands. So who was her knight in shining armor? (She dismissed the idea of Brad the ice cream kid. The bite should have erased his memory—and even if it hadn’t, her dessert didn’t know where she lived.) Perhaps she’d dragged herself home and then forgotten.

    Cousin Jeremiah giggled. But then, Cousin Jeremiah always giggled. He wasn’t right in the head, as some of the older vamps put it. Unlike Pearl, he’d been made, not born, a vampire, and there had been a problem with the turning. Pearl had never known what. She knew better than to ask, especially since Uncle Stefan had performed the transformation. Nobody criticized Uncle Stefan.

    Sorry, dearest, Aunt Lianne said, but did you say ‘unicorn’?

    Horse. Pointy horn. Kind of sparkly, Pearl said. Frankly, it was ridiculous. Mythical creature hanging out behind the Dairy Hut like it was on a smoke break.

    Silence filled the room.

    Even Jadrien paused his breath.

    Pearl, Mother said, exactly how much blood did you lose?

    I saw him, Pearl said. Like all vampires, she had excellent eyesight, and it wasn’t as if the creature had been far away. Unmistakably unicornish.

    Mother nodded at Uncle Felix, who, with a sigh, handed over a half-full pint of thick red blood. It’s AB-negative, so sip, he said. Don’t waste it with a chug.

    No, thanks, Pearl said. She wasn’t that thirsty.

    Drink, Mother ordered, and then tell me again what you saw.

    I told—

    Drink.

    Pearl drank. She wrinkled her nose at the taste—stored blood was stale at best, moldy and sour at worst. Uncle Felix had developed a taste for it in the seventies when he’d worked the night shift at the hospital. He’d snacked from the blood bank. Aside from Uncle Felix, dead blood was reserved for the very ill and babies. She was neither. She couldn’t let herself be either.

    The Family watched her.

    After three gulps of the AB-negative, she said, I saw a My Little Pony refugee. Horselike. Kind of glowy. Big sharp horn. It looked as if it had jumped off a poster from the bedroom of an eight-year-old girl. It walked toward me. I mocked it. It stabbed me. Chalk this one up as my most embarrassing moment ever.

    Mother knelt beside her. Pearl, sweetie.

    Pearl tensed. Mother never said sweetie.

    Uncle Felix reclaimed his pint. What Mother is trying to say, prettiest Pearl, jewel of our hearts, is that you’re off your rocker. One bulb short of a lit chandelier. One kitten less than a litter. One—

    Enough, Mother said.

    Uncle Felix stilled.

    Across the room, Uncle Pascha lifted a pawn and then placed it down again without moving it. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin. Or rook could take knight, he murmured. ‘And thou were the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever put spear in the rest.’ Aunt Rose added another stitch to her quilt. Cousin Jeremiah tapped on the hearth with his feet. It made Pearl want to tie his feet together so he’d hold them still.

    Unicorns do not exist, Mother said. Either your memory is false, or else you are deliberately lying. She caught Pearl’s chin in one hand. Frankly, I do not care which it is, but it will cease. Here is the truth: You were beset by a vampire hunter. You let yourself be identified and nearly slain. Your carelessness may have exposed us all. Mother released her, and Pearl felt crescent-moon indents on her cheeks from Mother’s nails. We will summon Uncle Stefan. He will determine the degree of danger—and, if necessary, reply to this ‘message.’ None of us will speak of this to anyone. Mother leveled a look at each of the aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as Jadrien. Rumors cannot be allowed to spread, not at this time. She fixed her eyes on Pearl again. As for you … for the next month, you will not participate in history lessons but instead will devote an extra hour each day to additional training. Jadrien will join you for failing to notice the hunter tracking you.

    Pearl swallowed, and her throat felt dry. The blood she’d drunk tasted flat on her tongue. As punishments went, this was tame. In fact, she liked sparring with Jadrien, or at least she did when her internal organs weren’t feeling like shish kebab. She waited for more.

    Good, Mother said, rising to her feet. Dinner is ready.

    Pearl couldn’t hide her surprise. She was gratified to see that others registered the same emotion. Jocelyn halted typing. Uncle Pascha raised his head, interrupting his contemplation of the chessboard. Aunt Rose and Aunt Lianne did not react, but that meant nothing. Their clothes could be lit on fire and at most that would elicit a Hmmm … before they slaughtered the arsonist, of course, and then burned to a crisp. (All vampires, no matter how unflappable, were inflammable.) No one ever brought in dinner, at least not in Pearl’s memory. These days most of the Family drank their meals in alleys and backyards and dark corners of movie theaters—a sip here and a sip there, leaving their prey like Brad, alive and memoryless. It was safer for the Family that way.

    Pearl racked her brain to figure out what had caused this special occasion. She couldn’t imagine Mother had brought in dinner to celebrate Pearl’s escaping extinction, but she couldn’t think of another reason. Pearl pushed herself off the couch. Her ankles wobbled, and she felt Aunt Lianne eyeing her posture. (Aunt Lianne believed civilizations rose and fell due to posture.) Pearl straightened her shoulders and forced herself to ignore the fresh jolt of pain.

    Jadrien, you may join us, Mother said.

    He bowed. Thank you, ma’am. Crooking his arm, he extended his elbow toward Pearl. May I escort you, O Mythic Beauty of the Night?

    Pearl flipped her hair. Even that movement made her want to double over and howl, but she felt Aunt Lianne’s eyes still on her. She fixed a smile on her face. But of course, O Legendary Escort of Delight.

    He waggled his eyebrows. Indeed. I am at your disposal.

    Of course he is, she thought, except when I need saving from annihilation. She wished she knew who had saved her. If her savior was human, why not bring Pearl to a

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