The Parenting Trap
By Karen Foote
()
About this ebook
The Parenting Trap is not a book that dishes out parenting know-hows and to-dos. Instead, Singaporean Chinese Mum Karen Foote, who is married to her Australian husband Craig, shares her personal struggles as well as joy as she navigates her way through two vastly different cultures to find her own identity and what it means to be a parent, distilling the best of Eastern and Western parenting wisdom and knowledge for her two sons. Whether your kids are raised in a multi-racial or single-culture home, you will find The Parenting Trap an earnest call for you to step out of your comfort zone and break away from any trap to raise your kids confidently – your way!
Related to The Parenting Trap
Related ebooks
Parentuality: How to Have an Amazing Relationship with Your Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Involved Parent: Tips for A Greater Connection With Your Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParenting with an Edge Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCool Stuff Your Parents Never Told You About Parenting Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParenting a Happy Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsReal Parenting for Real Kids: Enabling parents to bring out the best in their children Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPrinciples Of Good Parenting: Steps To Becoming A Better Parent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJoyful Parents Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParenting Made Easier: Tips to Having a Happy and Successful Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Mom's Secret Weapon: The Ultimate Guide To Raise Happy, Successful and Stress-Free Kids From The Gecko Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Kids Wish Parents Knew about Parenting Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGood Parenting - Bring OutThe Best In Your Child! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNurturing Your Child's Soul: 10 Keys to Helping Your Child Grow in Faith Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Respectful Parent: A Manual for Moms and Dads Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Missing Pages of the Parent Handbook Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen Faith Fails: The Aftermath of Sexual Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsProject Parent: Preparing Yourself for your Child's Sex Education Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDigital Detoxification: The Long Term Social and Psychological Side- effects of Digital Dependency Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBe a Parent, Not a Pushover: A Guide to Raising Happy, Emotionally Healthy Teens Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Open and Operate a Childcare Center Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSafe Kids, Smart Parents: What Parents Need to Know to Keep Their Children Safe Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSingle Parenting – Becoming the Best Parent For Your Child! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBadass Parenting: An Irreverent Guide to Raising Safe, Savvy, Confident Kids Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMothers and Sons: Centering Mother Knowledge Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsParenting Well in a Media Age: Keeping Our Kids Human Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Happy Home Guide For Single Parents Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Every Parent Should Know About Raising Children Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFamily Values: Reset Trust, Boundaries, and Connection with Your Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTech-Savvy Parenting: A Guide to Raising Safe Children in a Digital World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Relationships For You
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dumbing Us Down - 25th Anniversary Edition: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for The Parenting Trap
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Parenting Trap - Karen Foote
FOREWORD
T
his delightful little book is full of sound, practical advice and guidance for parents bringing up their children. It is based on Karen’s own experiences with her two boys in Singapore – her own home, Australia – the home of her husband, and from her academic studies in psychology. Thus this book offers an important dimension to the normal parenting books in that it has an academic grounding, and that the experiences and the advices that follow come from across cultures.
As Karen openly admits, the attitudes, beliefs and behaviour of her Chinese background can be substantially different from those of her Australian husband, and, indeed, my British background. In grounding her book in a cross-cultural context, Karen has done us all a big favour as the world is increasingly smaller with air flights and the Internet, and thus cross cultural marriages like hers and mine are becoming more common. The accentuated differences in attitudes, beliefs and behaviour of parents that come from such marriages raise the possibility of differences – if not conflicts - regarding how children should be raised. However, Karen cleverly argues that children need basic things in their lives and that with mutual tolerance and understanding between parents and their families, their children can have a rich – if not richer – childhoods learning the skills needed to survive in the modern world.
When I first met Karen as a student of psychology, I was impressed by her quick thinking, her sharp, inquisitive mind, and her love for life. I have come to learn that with this comes a loyalty and friendship to those important to her. These traits are reflected in her book to the extent that I do find myself thinking how wonderful it must be to be one of her two boys.
Dr Paul Sander
Cardiff Metropolitan University
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I
would like to thank my very supportive friends, Joanne Chua, Andrea Yeo, Lorraine Pang, Leslie Lee, Katherine Lee, Sherie Lim for believing in me. Thank you, Audrey Teo, Rita Chua, Doris Goh for inspiring me to be the best that I can be, and standing by me during those difficult times that I traversed.
Special thanks to Pearlin Siow for taking the time to nurture me and never giving up on me even when I tried to give up on myself.
My deep gratitude goes to Anita Foote. One cannot ask for a better sister-in-law, friend, and role model. Thank you for showing me a new dimension to parenting and for using your wisdom to save my sanity.
Most of all, I would like to thank my husband, Craig for his loving patience and support despite not being able to fully understand why I do what I do when it comes to parenting the boys. Thank you to my wonderful boys, Julian and Noah, for inspiring this book and for giving me their unconditional acceptance and love.
My heartfelt thanks to Dr Paul Sander for the support and for writing the foreword. I would like to also express my gratitude to Dr Trisha Craig, Dr Melanie Chew, Ms Geri Johnson, Ms Pearlin Siow, Mr Frederick Low and Mr Kirby Chua for taking time to review my book.
Finally, I am very thankful to my publisher, Mr ChinKar Tan, without whom this book would not be a reality. Thank you for sharing my values and believing in my vision that the sharing of knowledge is the way forward to forging better lives for our next generation.
Karen Foote
PROLOGUE
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
Author
I
have noticed something fascinating since moving back to Singapore after living in Melbourne for eight years. It is the way people communicate their love and affection for one another. Here, and I believe in a large part of Asia, people show their love through action. In the West, people simply say how they feel.
Although I was raised in Singapore by a mother who had strong Western influences, I still found it difficult to adjust to the differences in communication styles when I first moved to Melbourne. I thought I was really Westernised
, but I was very uncomfortable, especially when I met someone and exchanged hugs and kisses instead of a simple handshake. I felt like a rabbit at a petting zoo every time I was out at a dinner meeting new people, getting squeezed and cuddled all the