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    Striving For Normalcy: The Mental Illness Rollercoaster
    Striving For Normalcy: The Mental Illness Rollercoaster
    Striving For Normalcy: The Mental Illness Rollercoaster
    Ebook171 pages2 hours

    Striving For Normalcy: The Mental Illness Rollercoaster

    By Frances R. Armstrong

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    About this ebook

    Striving For Normalcy - The Mental Illness Rollercoaster offers information for those of you suffering from some form of mental illness. It's based on true-life experience with Bipolar II disorder, agoraphobia, and panic and anxiety attacks. If you're looking for a positive, focused book that will help, not only those suffering, but also for people who know or love someone with any type of mental illness. There is help available. It's up to you to make it happen.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFrances R. Armstrong
    Release dateApr 1, 2014
    ISBN9781311444349
    Striving For Normalcy: The Mental Illness Rollercoaster
    Author

    Frances R. Armstrong

    Frances R. Armstrong is a wife, a mother of three children, and grandparent of four. She is a published author of paranormal romance. Living in Ontario, Canada, her entire life, she chose to share her experiences with mental illness rather than hide in her home and suffer in silence. It's important to her that the stigma of mental illness is removed so that people will learn about it and not fear it.With one in five people diagnosed with the many forms of mental illness, Frances decided to talk to people about how it's affected not only her life, but the lives of so many others. She sought help as soon as she was diagnosed after a severe breakdown in 2002, and strives each day to battle the Bipolar II Disorder with her head held high.Striving For Normalcy is based on her personal experiences, and references from the internet, as well as a qualified psychiatrist. It is her hope that people will learn and understand the inner workings of the disease, helping families and friends learn how to live with, not only the person who is ill, but change the way that society deals with those who suffer every day from an illness that rules their bodies and minds.

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      Book preview

      Striving For Normalcy - Frances R. Armstrong

      Introduction

      I once told my niece she should stay away from me. When she asked why, I said, Because you’re allergic to nuts.

      If you don’t use humor to help you through the day, it can become rather gloomy for those suffering from mental illness. How do I know? I live it every day. I have Bipolar II Disorder. (BPII)

      Below is a list of mental illnesses that affect one in five people based on United States estimates .

      1. Mood disorders include major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder , and bipolar disorder to name a few.

      2. Suicide

      3. Panic attacks

      4. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

      5. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

      6. Schizophrenia

      7. General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

      8. Social disorders such as Agoraphobia

      9. Eating disorders: anorexia, bulimia, or binge -eating

      10. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

      11. Autism

      12. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

      Though there are a lot of different mental illnesses on the list, there are many more we won’t go into in this book. We will focus on Bipolar disorder, agoraphobia, panic attacks, and anxiety disorder because I’ve got them down pat, so to speak. On the footnotes pages, you will find links to websites that have a much deeper description of each of the other mental illness.

      This book is about my battle to pull out all the stops and do everything in my power to achieve the goals I set. Without goals, you don’t get very far in life. The wires in my brain are malfunctioning from more than thirty years of abusing my body with alcohol, lack of proper nutrition, and a sleeping disorder.

      Here is an example of a ‘not so normal’ day for someone with mental illness:

      The mortgage bounced today. The bills are piling up. I have no close friends left. Each day brings challenges I’m not sure I’m up to. My cat is missing. The postal worker keeps bringing more bills and there seems to be no way out of the financial mess I feel that I’m in. I’m constantly banging my toes and shins on furniture. I’m a klutz. Am I such a bad person that these things keep happening to me? Why doesn’t anyone like me? I feel terribly guilty because I can’t keep a job. I’m angry all the time. Man, do I want a drink. I hate the woman looking back at me in the mirror.

      What’s with that?

      When depressed, you feel down in the dumps. Some people hit rock bottom where they want to sleep most of the day away, are irritable and grumpy, and have lack of energy. Manic depression is the super hyper, over excited, big dreamer, can’t stop talking mode. You either feel up or down but seldom in neutral.

      This might be a regular day of the thought processes in the life of someone with untreated mental illness: It seems like everything in the world comes crashing down at you like a bucket of slime dumped over your head, and the stress rips you apart. Life seems harder than it does for ‘normal’ people. The tiniest things can annoy the daylights of you such as the sound of the dog’s collar tags clanging together like the gongs of a large bell.

      What is normal for those with mental illness?

      Now there’s a question that’s difficult to answer.

      In the dictionary ‘normal’ is defined as: 1) average, 2) standard, 3) common, 4) sane1. In the world of a mentally ill person, there is no such thing as normal. Each of us are unique.

      Striving For Normalcy will show you how to take life one step at a time and make your way to the top of the ‘proverbial’ ladder of good health with a taste of humor. It’s either laugh or cry. I laugh when I want to cry, and cry when I when I want to laugh. Everything has a balance point.

      You may ask if I’m truly ‘there’ or back to good health yet, and I’m close to that, but reality strikes deep when occasionally I tip over the edge. There are moments when I’m unable to battle it out, and others when I simply sleep until it’s passed.

      I refer to a rollercoaster in this book because that’s what being BPII is like with its ups and downs. It seems that just when you feel up, you reach the top of the next rise and ‘poof!’ down you go again into the doldrums. What a journey! It’s one I dislike intensely, but I’ve learned that I have to take it with a huge block of salt, not simply a grain of it.

      When people see you’re down, many try to ‘cheer you up’, but it’s not as straightforward as that. In my case, I tend to imagine the worst trials in life, and wallow in a poor self -image, especially when I stare into a mirror. Yuck! People assure me that I’m a beautiful woman; however, I feel far from it and view my reflection in the looking glass with serious doubt.

      Not everyone can use mind over matter to live a healthy, happy life. When unable to speak properly after a severe breakdown in 2002, I wondered why news anchors on television could continue to talk with a smooth, unbroken flow of words when I only spouted gibberish.

      The only help for it is either herbal remedies, if they work, or seeing a doctor and being on prescriptions of pills indefinitely. The other option is to focus on positives and talk yourself into becoming well. It’s a catch -22 situation. If you don’t take your prescribed pills, you suffer the consequences by rebounding back into the hole of depression, yet if you do take them, you become stuck on the curves of the rollercoaster with a lifetime of legal medications.

      Some people who suffer from a depression setback can take anti-depressants for a short time to get past the worst of it then go on to live the normal life I always wish for.

      This book was created to help others who face similar issues and want to talk, read, and have someone believe in them when they are ill with the understanding that it’s not all in their minds or their fault.

      Within each of the chapters are first -hand experiences with mental illness which are meant to be a guide for those with this ‘dis-ease’. Support systems are very important. Family and friends who want to understand and help their loved ones are imperative, highlighted with personal experiences.

      There is also a great deal of humor in this book to soften the way to good health. People with mental illness suffer in many ways, but those who live with them, are related to them, or are close friends, suffer as much as the ill person. In short, depression affects everyone!

      I may not ever be completely free of the dark, but I've learned a lot about myself and others like me in the past twelve years that I'd like to share with you. Come join me on the rollercoaster and perhaps you, too, can find a positive, supportive place where it's not so gloomy. There are many people in the same boat. When you want to be well again, check out the many mental health websites, speak with crisis councilors, and even go to chat rooms where you, too, can find the light to guide you home.

      This book isn't about being depressed. It's not about the foolish things I did to myself to escape from reality, or the horrible way I treated my loved ones back then. It's about how to find your way out of the darkness and ensure that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train coming from the opposite direction, as the saying goes, but the light of hope. It's time to reattach the wheels to the tracks and keep on going, no matter what the odds.

      Climb aboard the rollercoaster and prepare for the ride of your life!

      Chapter 1

      The battle for good health in the face of chaos!

      When the rollercoaster hits the curves, it’s either put the brakes on, or take a chance and ride the rails.

      It took me over thirty years to find out I had Bipolar II Disorder. My mental health began to seriously deteriorate after I turned forty and crashed into a brick wall of illness that shattered my mind into a million pieces. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had.

      I believed at the time that I was doomed, not being able to talk, think, remember, or even stay awake for more than a few hours a day. Was I in for a surprise as the years passed and I rode the rollercoaster that took me up and down between severe mania and the deepest depression then spun around to begin again until I was hopelessly lost! When I was told by my doctor that I would have to take medication for the rest of my life, I felt like I’d been given a death sentence. I had to learn to live with it. Fun. WOW!

      I must admit that I am anything but normal, though definitely not insane by a long shot.

      I don't wear a cast or sit in a wheelchair to prove I’m suffering from an illness, as it’s invisible. Does that mean I'm not really sick or disabled? If you don't have any physical, visual, external signs of illness, does that mean you are well? Not necessarily, and the best part of it is that my doctor assured me that I’m NOT CRAZY!

      When you have a mental illness, it’s nearly impossible to see it unless you act out in front of people. There was a time when mentally ill people were stashed away in asylums and left there to be drugged, locked away, or given shock treatments.

      Luckily, I haven’t had the latter because my hair is definitely curly enough.

      We are lucky that programs are now available to, not only recognize mental illness, but share information about it with others who don’t understand what’s happening to them.

      More and more famous people are coming out of the closet about the disorder to share their knowledge first hand with the public. The day that people say I’m mentally ill and others don’t even blink because it’s ordinary for many people, isn’t too far away.

      I went to my family doctor, specialists, allergists, holistic healers, and even a Shaman, but no one seemed to be able to help me combat the illnesses that fought me every step of the way toward a healthy life.

      Where does it start?

      Mental illness can begin at anytime in your life. I recall my first slip into the void when I was a mere thirteen years old. I was a charming little girl whose hormones leapt into adolescence where I tripped over my big feet and landed on my butt into life as a teen.

      Hormones? Perhaps, but mental illness shows its nasty horns at any age. Many people are affected by it when they are in their teens. It’s usually triggered by a trauma such as the loss of a loved one, physical illness, even the birth of a child, or some other shock to the system

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