Dead Sexy

DEAD SEXY

The Unofficial Walking Dead Fan Guide to Zombie Style, Beauty, Parties, and a Ghoul-Lurching Unlifestyle

PLUS

Exclusive Limited-time Flash Sales for Readers!

Copyright © 2014 by Paula Conway

Smashwords Edition

Riverdale Avenue Books

5676 Riverdale Avenue, Suite 101

Bronx, NY 10471

ISBN: 978-1-62601-057-4 print

978-1-62601-052-9 ebook

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

www.riverdaleavebooks.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

History of Zombies

Reflections on Marvel Comics Tales of a Zombie 

Zombie Types 

Sensitive Zombies

Zombie Laureates

Zombie Intellectual

The Cantankerous Zombie

The Zombie Princess

The Zombie Queen

Zombie Foodie

Zombie Politician

The Green Zombie

Pop Culture Zombie

The 2.0 Zombie

Royal Zombies

Zombie Rorschach Personality Test

Zombie Etiquette

General Zombie Etiquette

Zombie Disasters

When Gifting or Sporting with Zombies

Sending Cards

Dead Sexy Style

Pants

Satchels

Boots

Gloves

Additional Style Elements

Zombie Glam Style

Dead Sexy Beauty

Hair

Lori

Andrea

Maggie

The Bird’s Nest

Highlights

Make-Up

The Ultimate Zombie

Hands

Black Blood

Dirt

Black Blood and Dirt

Zombie Paste

The Safety Pin Effect

The Burned Effect

Road Rash and Burn on the Arms

Decayed and Rotted Zombie

Mummified Zombie

Ghoul Zombie

Zombie Soldier

Zombie Soldier Bullet Hole

Glam Zombie

Kid Zombies

Dear Bloody Mary Products

Zombie with a Protruding Mouth

Made at Home Zombie Kit

Costumes

Jewelry

Dead Sexy Dating

General Zombie Dating Guidelines

Exclusive Dead Sexy Deals, Discounts, and Offers

Riverdale Avenue Books

Blood Burn

Throw a True Blood Party

EvoluZion, Vol. 1

RedemZion

Still Hungry For Your Love

Beauty

Addictive Cosmetics

Dear Bloody Mary

Philocalia

Deep Midnight Perfumes

Soapopotamous

Spectrum Cosmetics

Sapling Naturals

The Bubbling Cauldron

The Soap Witch Bath Company

Appendage

Home & Garden

ComaToast Coffin Co.

Cinth Degree Studios

Death Grips

Dark Horse Garage

Ghotic Designs

H. B. Eadie Coppersmith

Deeply Dapper

Gifts by Gaby

Jesse Janes

Knob Creek Metal Arts

Little Dead Things

Mango Seed

MyBookMark

RW2Gallery

Zombiegnomes.com

UndeadTeds

Clothing and Accessories

Moonhoar

Badali Jewelry

Beadborg

Bottled Up Creations

Chase and Scout

Plain Jane Plugs

ChubbyChicoCharms LLC

Better Than Pants

The Roux Perspective

Crazy Dog T-Shirts

Glamorosi

Green Bride Guide

Toxic Milk

Nessie Designs

Nixxi Rose

Playbox Designs

PersonalizationMall.com

Rockin’ Bones Clothing

Rockabilly Revolt

Rocky Brands

Rubipotamus

ZombieBrideUK

Food & Parties

Brad’s Raw Foods

Buttercream Bakery

Chateau Diana

CoolGlow

Immortally Yours

J. Design’s Handmade

Jacquelyn Vaccarro Designs

Looney Labs

Lucas Candies

Shayne of the Dead, Stuff of the Dead

Sonoran Spice

Stebears

Off The Wall Toys

The Bakers Confections

The Poisoned Apples

Windy City Novelties Inc.

Harcos Labs

Dead Sexy Parties

Décor

Food & Drinks

Main Dishes

Side Dishes

Zombie Snacks

Desserts

Moonshine and Other Great Apocalypse Drinks

Games

Music

Party Gifts

Dead Sexy Travel

Really Dead Cities, Hotels and Other Haunted Destinations

Haunted Destinations

Famous Dead Locations and Celebrations

Great Books for Zombie Travel

Zombie Information Directory

Zombie Survival Gear

Zombie Party Supplies

Zombie Make-Up

The Walking Dead (exclusively)

Clothing and Fashion

Social Networking

Articles and News

Zombie Bloggers

Zombie Facts Through Fiction

Early Zombie Movies

Recent Popular Zombie Movies

Zombie TV Shows

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Wow! We did it, we managed to launch such a successful book that it mandated an updated 2nd edition. A huge thank you goes out to AMC, for without you, this 2nd edition would not have been possible. Nayala Smith, you’re the bee’s knees, and thank you for all you did on the first iteration of this book.

This book was stitched together with passion, not just from me, but also from an incredible group of friends and family. My brother, J.P., crafted the travel section of this book while working full-time and gearing up for his own book. Even with an embittered [zombie?] heart I am amazed by you, J.P. You don’t ask why, you just DO, and you are always always always there to help me when I need you. Shelly Goldman whipped up some superb zombie recipes on short notice. And when I flippantly asked for more after spinning class, they appeared. You’re amazing, Shelly. My knight in shining armor is my husband John, who is completely to thank for the history of zombies. He could fill the entire book with his immense knowledge on so many subjects. John, I simply could not have done this book without you and I love you so much. Carla Conway is not only knowledgeable about zombies through her illustrious career as a playwright and comic book writer, but she’s also a zombie fan. Carla sat with me just as she did on the True Blood book and helped me create the foundation and outline for this book while she also contributed myriad creative ideas and then wrote her own section on zombies from her memories of working with Roy Thomas and Stan Lee at Marvel Comics. Dad, you are a zombie writer’s consigliore. I asked you to help me with the zombie reference section, and it was done. I can’t thank you enough for the fun and witty ideas you bring to every project.

My agent and publisher, Lori Perkins, I’m unclear where this very wild ride will end, but boy is it fun. Alyssa Tognetti, you have so many wonderful talents and gifts. Once again, you took on the deals and offers for this book with superior focus, and once again you succeeded spectacularly. You are simply amazing. Stephen Silverman, I never write a word without wondering if it works in the sentence without thinking of you.

A very special thanks to Bobbie Weiner of Dear Bloody Mary. One can simply not be a dead and sexy zombie without your amazing make-up kits and expertise.

Mom, I love you.

And to all the dead people who provide general frustrations in my life each day, thank you. If it weren’t for you, there’d be no book.

INTRODUCTION

Until very recently, I wasn’t a zombie fan. Let’s face it: they’re slow, dumb, lumbering oafs. Unlike vampires, Zombies simply don’t have panache, and in most scenarios you can outsmart them, outrun them, and outwit them. What the tipping point was for zombie popularity, I’m not sure, but when I sat down to watch the first two seasons of The Walking Dead on Netflix, I became hooked. Not the over-the-top, butterflies in the tummy, nail biting, grab the popcorn and put on some lipstick because I have to look good for Eric True Blood kind of hooked. But rather, this-is-the-absolute-end and it-can’t-get-worse Bertolt Brecht kind of hooked because let’s face it, The Walking Dead is a downer. The characters are raw and risk everything, like Lori deciding to have a baby during a zombie apocalypse, which is just ridiculous. They also do the natural human thing: take any means to survive. The show reminds us of our own humanity.

I think well-known TV critic (and now columnist for The Daily News) Linda Stasi, said it best when I asked her why so many people love The Walking Dead. Walking Dead? It's knockdown, drop-dead the best show on TV, pun intended.  As I've said before, it's shocking, repulsive, revolting, heart breaking, miserable, nasty, filthy, inhumane and inhumanly nauseating -- and that isn't even the best thing about it! The acting is great, the plot lines are spectacular and yet it remains the Emmy's most overlooked, yet most watched cable drama.  You said it, sister.

A few years ago, my husband gave me Max Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide before Zombies were truly on the pulse of popular culture, and I confess that while I had asked for the book, I had not read it until the moment when I decided to write this book. I originally wanted it because it seemed like a fun idea. I mean really, who needs a zombie survival guide? The very notion of it is enough to want to buy it. I also did not realize that Max Brooks was the son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft until I read Maureen Dowd’s recent June 22nd New York Times article A Zombie Scare with a Zombie Chaser. In reading her article, I was comforted to learn that, like me, Maureen is not as much of a fan of zombies as she is of vampires, and for many of the same reasons. In her New York Times article, she writes, I’m not as fond of zombies as I am of vampires. Vampires are urbane shape-shifters, sophisticated, seductive and nattily dressed. Unlike vampires, their undead brethren, zombies don’t age well. Their muscle tone is shot. The rotting ghouls just groan and lumber about, except for the most highly evolved, who precede a meal with a succinct request: Brains!

It was when I wrote my first book, The Beauty Buyable, that I first discovered the living dead among us. Until that point, I gave people a metaphorical hall pass: maybe they’re having a bad day, can’t seem to connect in their job, and surely they’ll snap out of it. I was tasked by my publisher at Harper Collins to not only write the book, but to also garner beauty products to be packaged with the book. So I basically packaged the book. Having years of experience as a publicist, I started with PR and marketing reps for some of the largest beauty brands. This, I was sure, would be easy. I was creating the first-ever beauty book to be packaged in a keepsake box with products. By 2007, nothing like this had been published, ever, and since this time, still nothing has been produced in quite that form. For consumers, the very notion that there would be this adorable pink box with a gross-grain ribbon bowed neatly in front, and when opened a world of lipstick, blush, face creams, lotions and potions, all hugging a lovely little book with professional tips and tricks from the industry’s best, was fantastical. For beauty companies, they would have their brand’s most popular or new products in this box for free, living on the shelves of bookstores nationwide – a distribution channel they could not buy. It was marketing nirvana.

But what was abundantly clear to me escaped nearly every publicist or marketing executive I spoke with. Just because it had not been done before, they (the dead on the other end of the phone) could not see it or feel it, neither literally nor figuratively. And the idea of suggesting something innovative to their client was just too much work, outside the box. The silence on the other end of the phone after my very colorful and exuberant pitch was deafening. It was throughout this painful process of stepping over the dead to get the YES! I wanted that I would turn to my husband at the end of a very long pitch day and say, "they’re dead, they’re all The Walking Dead." And over time I have become quite cynical about the living dead, and so excited that at least in this book, I don’t have to apologize for my express opinion that most people are DEAD. DEAD. DEAD.

I do truly believe (hate mail will surely be on its way to me after this one) that most people simply do not show up for their lives. They may be present at work, but they’re phoning it in. Let’s face it, life is hard; I understand why people get to a point where they’d rather just go through the motions. And therefore, as far as I am concerned, the apocalypse has already happened, I am a survivor and I live among the Walking Dead. Zombies are everywhere: we work with them, vacation with them, and we party and celebrate our very lives among them. I’m sorry to tell you, but you might be one yourself. You also might be a friend or relative to a zombie or, God forbid, married to one. But fear not, this book has a Zombie Rorschach Test so you can be sure. Those of us who are not zombies are survivors, but must prepare accordingly for life with zombies.

From this perspective, this book is truly fun because now that we’ve accepted our existence among the living dead, we can create a world that embraces them and us in it with them. It’s a slippery slope, one you don’t want to venture on alone. Whether you believe, like me, that the zombie apocalypse has already happened and we live among zombies in real time, or that it’s coming, this book lays out how you can live a most awesome unlifestyle with the living dead. What’s better, you can cash in on some amazing flash deals and offers by some wonderfully fun and creative companies, including some really DEAD SEXY travel offers. And the deals in this book are exclusive just for you.

From zombie beauty and fashion to throwing the ultimate zombie party and taking the penultimate zombie vacation, this book has everything you’ll need from Z to Z to live the ultimate DEAD SEXY UNlifestyle.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF ZOMBIES

The animated dead, now commonly referred to as zombies, have been with us in some form or another for a very long time. The ghoul or ghoul, a corporeal undead - undead with a body as opposed to the insubstantial ghost or spirit - wandered the graveyards of ancient Arabian folklore, possibly dating as far back as Mesopotamian legends, but first recorded in the 8th century in One Thousand and One Nights, a collection of South Asian stories and folk tales compiled in Arabic during the Islamic Golden Age. Oddly, the ancient Egyptian mummy, a real pre-made, pre-preserved human corpse did not enter the rolls of undead legions until the first science fiction writers of the early 19th century introduced the Egyptian mummy as an undead character in works such as 1827’s The Mummy: Or a Tale of the Twenty-Second Century, written by Jane C. Loudon. The Mummy was introduced with the Gothic literature movement of the early 19th century, partially inspired by Mary Shelley’s novel, Frankenstein, which itself dealt with a scientifically reanimated corpse,