Being Assertive: Finding the Sweet-Spot Between Passive and Aggressive
4/5
()
About this ebook
Assertiveness is a zone on the spectrum of human behaviour that lies between Passivity and Aggression. This book shows you how to find that zone, that sweet-spot; not always an easy thing to do.
Being Assertive is fundamentally about rights; yours and those of others and finding a balance between them. An aggressive person violates the rights of others, while the passive person violates their own. The assertive person finds a win-win way to balance these sometimes competing interests.
Learning to live in the zone of assertiveness has many benefits; your self-esteem will improve, the quality of your relationships with others will improve and deepen.
Being aggressive, like using verbal or physical threats, may get people what they want in the short term, but their relationships will inevitably suffer.
Being passive is also destructive of relationships and long-term happiness because your own needs are being ignored for the sake of getting along with others.
Being assertive is where the sweet spot is. Here, your needs, wants and feelings are likely to be understood, you don’t hurt people unintentionally, everyone feels respected, if not understood, your relationships become stronger, you have fewer arguments, feel more in control of your life and you generally feel better about yourself. These are just some of the benefits.
David Tuffley
David Tuffley (PhD) is a Senior Lecturer in Applied Ethics & Socio-Technical Studies at Griffith University in Australia.David writes on a broad range of interests; from Comparative Religion, Anthropology, Psychology, Ancient and Modern History, Linguistics, Rhetoric, Philosophy, Architectural History, Environments and Ecosystems.
Read more from David Tuffley
Nautical Terms: A Dictionary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeing Happy: Part 4 Cultivating Virtue Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Being Resilient Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeing Grateful: Becoming Whole Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGoing with the Flow Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurfing Lingo: A Dictionary of Surfing Terms Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Being Assertive
Titles in the series (24)
Being Happy: Part 1 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Raising Your Self-Esteem Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Art of Strategic Non-Action: Learning to Go with the Flow Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Tao Te Ching: Lao Tzu's Timeless Classic for Today Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Artful Traveller: The Flâneur's Guidebook Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Enchiridion of Epictetus Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Secrets of a Long & Happy Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Every Moment Is The Best Moment: The Essence of Enlightenment Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Being Assertive: Finding the Sweet-Spot Between Passive and Aggressive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Pursuit of Happiness: The Art of Not Taking Offence & Going with the Flow Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Being Mindful: Living in the Now Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Genius: Habits of Highly Creative People Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Social Drinker: How To Keep It That Way Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Becoming More Intelligent Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Being Alone Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Leadership & The Tao a New Look at the Timeless Question “What Is Leadership?” Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unleash Your Creativity: A How to Guide Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Lifestyles of Long-Lived People Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Improving Your Memory: A How to Guide Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Beating Addiction: A Self-Help Guide Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Being Happy: Part 2 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius: A Primer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Being Anxious: Help for Social Anxiety Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Being Happy: Part 3 Managing Your Expectations Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related ebooks
Assertiveness Training: Mastering Assertive Communication to Learn How to be Yourself and Still Manage to Win the Respect of Others. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Speak Your Mind: Become Assertive and Set Limits Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution: How to Thoughtfully Handle Difficult Situations, Conversations, and Personalities Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIntentional Communication: Emotional Validation, Listening, Empathy, and the Art of Harmonious Relationships Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPeople Skills Secrets: How To Become Comfortable To Talk To Anyone And Make Friends Without Being Awkward Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAssertiveness for Women: Secret Tricks to Learn How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty and Get More Respect Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Easy Way To Conquer The Fear Of Rejection In 2 Weeks Guaranteed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOvercome Social Anxiety: Cure Shyness and Talk to Anyone with Confidence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Communicate Effectively With Anyone Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBreaking Up with People-Pleasing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Five Steps of Assertiveness (+) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Assertiveness: How To Be Strong In Every Situation Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Assertiveness: A Step by Step Guide Toward Becoming Unstoppable and unafraid Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Set Boundaries. Say No. Take Back Control. Get What You Want. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5People Skills Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics for Overcoming the Problem People in Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5ISPEAQ: How to Speak Up for Yourself and Have Difficult Conversations Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCoaching Emotional Intelligence (EQ) at Work Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Who’S Pulling My Strings?: How I Learned to Free the Puppet and Feel Safe to Be Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Communicate with Confidence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Saying NO with Grace and Respect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Developing Your Assertiveness: Communicate clearly and improve your professional relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Prevent Passive Aggressive People From Wreaking Havoc Using Science Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBe More Assertive Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHandling Difficult People: Easy Instructions for Managing the Difficult People in Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Personal Growth For You
The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-outs, and Triggers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Outsmart Your Brain: Why Learning is Hard and How You Can Make It Easy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Being Assertive
5 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Being Assertive - David Tuffley
Being Assertive
Finding the Sweet-Spot Between
Passive and Aggressive
David Tuffley
Published by Altiora Publications
www.AltioraPublications.com
© Copyright 2014 David Tuffley
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don’t want to hear. - George Orwell.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
Disclaimer
This book has been written with all due care and attention, giving guidance on how to be successful at speed reading. If followed it has the potential to greatly help you be successful. By itself the book cannot guarantee success. That will depend on factors beyond the control of the author and the publisher.
Contents
Introduction
Communicating assertively
The Assertive Mind-Set
Behaving assertively
Saying ‘No’
Handling criticism
Handling disappointment
Compliments
Conclusion
References
Introduction
Being assertive, or knowing how to assert yourself in a world that rewards bullies, can make the difference between a happy life and a miserable one. Assertiveness is a zone on the spectrum of human behaviour that lies between Passivity and Aggression. This book shows you how to find that sweet-spot, not always an easy thing to do.
Being aggressive, like using verbal or physical threats, may get people what they want in the short term, but their relationships will inevitably suffer.
Being passive is also destructive of relationships and long-term happiness because your own needs are being ignored for the sake of getting along with others.
Being assertive is where the sweet spot is. Here, your needs, wants and feelings are likely to be understood, you don’t hurt people unintentionally, everyone feels respected, if not understood, your relationships become stronger, you have fewer arguments, feel more in control of your life and you generally feel better about yourself. These are just some of the benefits.
Being Assertive is fundamentally about rights; yours and those of others and finding a balance between them. An aggressive person violates the rights of others, while the passive person violates their own. The assertive person finds a win-win way to balance these sometimes competing interests.
Learning to live in the zone of assertiveness has