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    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot
    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot
    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot
    Ebook33 pages18 minutes

    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot

    By Nick Shoveen

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    About this ebook

    After reading the first few paragraphs of this book, you will either want to obtain the rest of it for your reading pleasure, or join Gloria Allred as she leads a female, torch-bearing lynch mob up the mountain to the author’s castle, ignoring the chortling delight of Rush Limbaugh.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMagic Lamp Press
    Release dateNov 2, 2010
    ISBN9781452391632
    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot
    Author

    Nick Shoveen

    Doctor Nick Shoveen, Ph.D. has been offering unsolicited relationship advice to men for many years. Although it has been difficult to verify his entire background, his publisher does know that he claims to have received his Ph.D. from renowned PacoimaUniversity.com, allegedly one of the San Fernando Valley's foremost online schools.Magic Lamp Press has also learned that prior to his release, the doctor ran a Persian rug concession at a now-defunct Fedco store in Van Nuys, California.The good doctor currently resides in room 37-a of the Old Bangkok General Medicine House, where he quite often recuperates from serious wounds received in violent feminist attacks after his public appearances.Upon his recovery this time, the doctor will continue with his speaking engagements, frequently sponsored by many of the various Gentlemen's Clubs of America, and a hoped-for appearance on the basic cable Man's Show.Watch for him in your town, unless you reside in one of the municipalities that have requested the doctor to never return... and note that his latest books are now available:Meeting Women: A Guide to Approaching and Getting Acquainted with a New Female,The Female-to-English Dictionary: What Women Really Mean, andHow to be a Porno Producerand, the best-selling Phone Sex Manual

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    • 1/5
      This has got to be the stupidest book I ever have read. I know that it says men only, but being as I wanted to know what kind of advice was offered to men, I read it anyway. The reason that women like me are reading books on relationships is because I'm in a relationship with a man that probably read this book. Good God men. Please do not follow the directions of this book. I will for see your next book being how to mend a broken heart.

    Book preview

    Sex & Relationship Advice for the Complete Idiot - Nick Shoveen

    After reading the first few paragraphs of this book, you will either want to obtain the rest of it for your reading pleasure, or join Gloria Allred as she leads a female, torch-bearing lynch mob up the mountain to the author’s castle, ignoring the chortling delight of Rush Limbaugh

    SEX & RELATIONSHIPS ADVICE

    FOR THE COMPLETE IDIOT

    Dr. Shoveen’s primer on Sex, Respect &

    Intimacy in a Relationship or Marriage:

    For every male to learn from

    - - - - - - - - - - - -

    http://www.NickShoveen.com

    ©MMX Magic Lamp Press

    All rights reserved

    Smashwords edition 1.0 – November, 2010

    Dr. Nick Shoveen, Ph.D. is also the author of:

    What Women Really Mean – the Female-to-English Dictionary

    Meeting Women – Under any Situation or Circumstances

    How to be a Porno Producer

    Phone Sex Manual

    - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Q: Is sex dirty?

    A: If it’s done right.

    Woody Allen

    INTRODUCTION

    Here’s a theory that Rush Limbaugh might agree with and Gloria Allred will go ballistic over: males and females are really different species, and it is a miracle that their respective physiologies are similar enough to allow them to procreate (have children).

    If it wasn’t for the fact that their communication skills have developed almost to the same level, they should be kept apart and allowed get together for conjugal visits only during mating season (preferably in the spring).

    Having doubts about that? Think of it this way: guys can get together, have a few beers, watch a sporting event and shoot the breeze for hours on end. Can you imagine that happening with a mixed crowd? Sure, couples might all get together and watch a game on someone’s large flat screen, but sooner or later the females will wind up in the kitchen talking about shopping, recipes, and the failings of men.

    Some pundits have put forth the thought that female humans began walking upright thousands of years too early in their evolutionary period, hence their propensity for conveniently getting ‘headaches.’

    Nevertheless, all theories aside, we must accept the situation as it is today and make our best attempt to deal with it, on the male’s never-ending quest to satisfy the female… an impossible task, because even though a temporary period of satisfaction might be attained, as the eminent philosopher Chris Rock has said, "women

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