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    Flowers on Tuesday
    Flowers on Tuesday
    Flowers on Tuesday
    Ebook185 pages1 hour

    Flowers on Tuesday

    By Paul Beersdorf

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    This book is designed for men who want to improve their relationship with their wife (Bride) and children. It is based on the wisdom and advice I have learned over 20+ years of marriage. I want to share with other men the lessons that I have learned in hopes that they can have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with their Bride.

    You will find throughout the book that I refer to my wife as my Bride. This is a term of endearment and affection that serves as a reminder of the special relationship we have. Even though we have been married for 20+ years, I still refer to her as my Bride.

    I have heard it said many that there are three areas in our life that bring stress to a marriage:

    1. Money
    2. Children
    3. Intimacy

    In this book you will find that we address these three areas as well as several others.

    The book is designed with seven key sections:

    Section One: THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MATTER

    This section has some simple ideas and concepts that can "jump start" your relationship.

    Section Two: LISTENING AND THE THINGS WE SAY

    This section has some simple concepts to read and understand, and are very powerful when applied, but will require great discipline to put into action.

    Section Three: HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME

    We all only have 24 hours in a day and this section helps the reader think about how to best allocate their time.

    Section Four: SPIRITUAL INTIMACY

    This section is all about drawing closer to your Bride from a spiritual perspective.

    Section Five: PHYSICAL INTIMACY

    This section is all about drawing closer to your Bride from a physical perspective.

    Section Six: THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO AND REMEMBER

    This section is all about motivation and intention.

    Section Seven: HOW WE SPEND OUR MONEY

    This section will describe several of the key pitfalls in marriage and resources for improving how money is used.

    There is an additional section on FINAL THOUGHTS as well as a "bonus" chapter.

    I have broken the ideas into 52 short chapters that can provide the reader with one concept to work on each week. There are practical examples from my own marriage as well as lessons learned from other sources.

    Finally, this book does not attempt to be a comprehensive guide to marriage and family. It is more of an idea generator and thought starter. You will find that I point the reader to many different resources that have proven very helpful in my relationship with my Bride and children.
    I hope you enjoy the book and it proves a useful resource and guide.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPaul Beersdorf
    Release dateDec 23, 2013
    ISBN9780991324439
    Flowers on Tuesday
    Author

    Paul Beersdorf

    Paul Beersdorf was born in New Mexico and has lived in in California, Texas, Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee and Georgia. Paul has a B.S. in Marketing from the Universtiy of Alabama and an MBA for Kennesaw State University. He has been happily and joyfully married to his Bride Debbie since 1990. They have four incredible children who continually amaze and astound them. Besides his passion for his Bride and Children, Paul enjoys Reading, Running, Swimming, Biking, Camping and Wooodworking. Flowers on Tuesday is Paul's first published book. He is currently working on several addtional titles and hopes that you enjoy Flowers on Tuesday.

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      Book preview

      Flowers on Tuesday - Paul Beersdorf

      I have read so many authors and listened to so many preachers in the past years that I cannot distinguish which of these ideas are original and which come from someone else. Certainly there are very few new things that I am explaining in these pages, and I freely admit that most of the really good stuff has come from others.

      If I can remember whose idea I am using, I will give them credit. It is not my intention to take credit for someone else’s work or ideas.

      Some of the people I want to recognize are as follows:

      Pastor Johnny Hunt – he is an incredible teacher and has been a huge influence in my life and in this book

      James Dobson

      Dave Ramsey

      Tim & Beverly LaHaye

      Andy Stanley

      Ed Wheat

      Gary Smalley

      John Trent

      Junior Hill

      Eric Helms

      Rick Stepat

      Rick Bellerjeau

      Adam Biesecker

      And many others!

      I also do not want to forget my Bride whom I dedicated this book to. She is my constant companion and my best friend. She always believes in me and has encouraged me in all my endeavors. I am a better man because of her.

      Finally, I also want all the readers to know that we are committed to donating a minimum of 25% of all the profits to charity.

      Preface:

      This book is written from the perspective of a Christian husband and the things that he needs to do to make his marriage and family a success. That does not mean that women cannot and will not find this book helpful (as many of the principles are just as easily applied from the wife’s perspective), but it has been my experience that most men are in need of help when it comes to developing and nurturing the marriage and family relationship.

      These principles are things that I have found to be true in my 20+ years of marriage. If I was only smart enough to read and follow my own list on a daily basis I know that I could do an even better job at my marriage. I know there are many more principles, but these are the ones that have been most poignant in my life and it is my prayer that they will help you in your marriage as well.

      I have heard it said that the three things that cause the most stress in a marriage are issues related to:

      Intimacy

      Money

      Children

      You will find that we discuss each of these subjects in this book.

      However, this book is not intended to be an in-depth study on marriage. It is meant to be more of a thought starter and idea generator on how to improve your marriage by incorporating these ideas and suggestions. You will find that I will be pointing you towards other resources to gain deeper knowledge and understanding.

      This is not rocket science and we are not going to split the atom or cure cancer. These are just simple ideas and principles learned over 20+ years. I am eternally grateful for all those who have spoken into my life and helped me in these areas.

      I hope you enjoy the book and take the opportunity put these principles into action.

      Chapter 1- Flowers on Tuesday

      We will start here with something simple in concept but requires forethought and planning. If you do this one thing, I promise you will be amazed at that response you get from your Bride and the sense of pride and accomplishment you will feel yourself.

      I honestly don’t know if this thought is original with me, or if I read it somewhere and just put it into practice. I would like to take credit for it, but alas I really don’t know if I was the one who came up with this idea.

      It is very simple: You buy your Bride a bouquet of flowers (preferably roses) and give them to her on Tuesday. What is the significance of Tuesday? Nothing! And that is the point (it could just as easily be any other day of the week, but Tuesday seems to be a day when not much is happening).

      The point of giving the flowers on Tuesday is that it is supposed to be a surprise and expression of your love for your Bride. She will not be expecting it and because this is not a special day (e.g. Birthday, Anniversary, or other celebration) she will want to know why you bought the flowers. This is where you tell her, it is just because you love her and want to give here something special.

      There are some caveats to this practice (a few of which I have already mentioned):

      It cannot be her Birthday

      It cannot be your Anniversary

      It cannot be a holiday or other special occasion

      It cannot be something you give her to apologize after a fight or argument

      It cannot be something you give her because you made a mistake or error

      It cannot be something you give before you make a big change or announcement

      It cannot be something you give her just because you want to get lucky

      This will only work if you give her the flowers – just because!! Just because you love her.

      The funny thing is, she will suspect some of the reasons above the first time you try this (as will the people selling you the flowers. I cannot tell you how many times someone at the check-out counter will say – Celebrating an Anniversary or Are you in Trouble). When I explain it is just flowers on Tuesday, and just because I love my Bride, there is the invariable sigh from the female clerks.

      Homework: Give it a try. I usually go to Wal-Mart and get a dozen roses for about $10. You can just as easily pick flowers from your garden or the side of the road. Good luck. I know you will enjoy the response.

      Chapter 2 - Never let the kids come Between you (Literally and Figuratively)

      Debbie and I have four wonderful, beautiful and amazing children. They are:

      Hannah – 21

      David – 20

      Sarah Grace – 12

      Jonathan – 10

      What a joy and blessing (and to be truthful – challenge) these guys have been. They each have a unique personality and yet they have one thing in common. They are constantly testing us and trying to see if they can drive a wedge between me and my Bride. Now they are not always malicious or thoughtful in this endeavor, it is more a subconscious desire to pit us one against the other.

      You see, the kids want and desire our attention (this is a good thing) but only to a point. My first relationship is with my Bride and I constantly need to nurture and develop this relationship. One day the kids will be grown and gone (hopefully) and it will be just me and my Bride alone again.

      What Debbie and I have found is that it is best to keep the kids from coming between us. I mean that literally! Whether we are sitting a church, out to eat, or on the couch, Debbie and I ALWAYS sit next to one another. The kids sit on either side of us (usually boys side and girls side).

      Now this may seem silly to some of you, but it is subtle and constant reminder that Debbie is my #1 relationship priority. That does not mean that I do not love my children, it just means that there is a pecking order and Debbie is at the top of the list.

      Genesis 2:24 - For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

      You see, when we married, we became ONE and Debbie is now my best friend and soul mate. She is #1!

      The other way that the kids try to come between us is usually with questions and ideas. A simple example is Jonathan coming to me and asking if he can have a treat. While this may seem innocent and many times it is, we have found that they will try to play us off one another. My usual refrain is what did Mom say? This stops them dead in their tracks, because they know if they lie, then they are in even bigger trouble and their reply is usually she said I had to clean my room first, or mom said No. You see, they are trying to undermine their mother’s authority by coming to me and hoping I will simply say Sure have a treat.

      Since we have been doing this parenting thing for 20+ years now, we know most of the tricks.

      The other thing we never do is contradict one another in front of the kids. If we

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