The Bollocks People Tell You or Are You Fucked In The Head?
By Laura Tong
()
About this ebook
Frankly Frank says...
Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little tapeworm smearing its unwanted and nauseating opinion into it.
The bastards cheerfully inform us if we don’t measure up to some impossibly tedious ideal encapsulated in some bullshit celebrity ‘save the plankton’ type book or Government ‘fuck responsibly’ type pamphlet our miserable existences are an insult to mankind's eternal struggle to distinguish itself from the primordial slime it came from. The only real certainty is that the world would be a better place if all these self-styled 'experts' shoved their endless opinions up their respective arses.
However, as this is unlikely to happen, without a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed, glide instead into a chaise longue with a glass of Chardonnay and a coarse cut Brussels pate or slump into a easy chair with a bottle of Newcastle Brown and a battered saveloy, and rest assured that many ‘experts’ were harmed in the making of this book.
Laura Tong
Welcome to Global Feel Good Company where life is always great because it's populated exclusively by fun, upbeat, feel good people. Started by us, Mark and Laura Tong to fling fun and feel good at the world until it sticks... and then fling some more! We're light, souffle types who bask and dally only in the fun side of life and have no idea why anyone would choose any other way to live! Both reared by licentious sea cucumbers, we've had 25 fabulous years together as genuine, bona fidae midgets without certificates to prove it. Credos may come and go (after all this is a consumer society) but despite being modern, impatient, no-attention-span kids, we have one that will never waver: people are great, really great the world over. And, we're irrefutably, immovably, unshakably sure about it because we get out there and experience them first hand around the world, and every time we do, all we find is a great bunch of people (and the odd nutter with stupid ears) who are just trying to get on, do their thing and help out by pulling on the saving-the-day-trousers for strangers where they can... not plotting to blow up the West, burgle us in our bed or even make life difficult. It's very refreshing! So, needless to say we take every opportunity to travel, work on fun projects and enjoy just how great people are and shout about it - hope to bump into you on one of our out and about tours, spreading fun and feel good around the world with Rugby, our gorgeous, greedy, silly Labrador.
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Book preview
The Bollocks People Tell You or Are You Fucked In The Head? - Laura Tong
The Bollocks People Tell You
Great Life Swindle Series
by
Laura Tong
copyright 2013 Laura Tong
smashwords edition
*
Also by Laura Tong
The Great Success Swindle
The Great Motivation Swindle
More Bollocks People Tell You
Buggering Around Travel Series:
The Dog's Rollocks
Wild Dogs And Nutters
*
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold
or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person,
please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did
not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work
of this author.
*
Table Of Contents
Preface
Education, Education, Education
Nanny State
Current Affaires
Carbon Footprint
National Debt
Social Media
Everything In Moderation
Keeping Up Apperances
Machismo
Endangered Species
Social Engineering
Health And Safety
Taxes
Keep Fit
Respect Your Elders
Sustainable Energy
Work
Shakespeare
Wonder Of Nature
Modern Art
Everything Your Parents Told You - Do As You Are Told
Everything Your Parents Told You - Don't Talk To Strangers
Celebrity Lifestyles
Healthy Eating - Dieting And Processed Food
Healthy Eating - Five A Day And Lower Your Cholesterol
Endeavour
Social Etiquette
Tantric Sex
Sexual Equality
Ecosystems
Evangelism
Money Can't buy You Happiness
Nuclear Power
Don't Try This At Home!
Respect Other Cultures
Cave Art
Sportsmanship
Advertising
Paparazzi
Extra-Terrestial Activity
Altruism
Haute Cuisine
Soaps
Local Authorities
Daylight Saving
Gossip
Being Ciao
Save The Planet
Global Feel Good Company
****
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Preface
Frankly Frank says...
Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little tapeworm smearing