A Life You Want: Take Charge of Your Life!

Introduction

So you've decided to take charge of your life. Congrats! But now comes the tricky part: how are you going to change it?

I'm sensing there are crickets in the room. It's not an easy question. But even though your stomach may already be twisting in knots, your journey has only begun. The thing to determine now is how you want your life to change. What is it that you want? Are you looking for a new career? Are you hoping to start a new relationship, move your relationship to the next level, start a family? Do you want to get healthy? Get out of debt? Bring more meaning into your life?

There are no wrong answers. That's the beauty of it. It's your life. You can make it what you want it to be. It's just a question of figuring out what it is you want and coming up with a course of action to get there.

That means it's time for self-reflection. You may be miserable. You may be only slightly disgruntled. Either way, you're not happy with how things are. So take some time to figure out what it is that you're unhappy with. When you dream about what your life could be like, what is it that's different?

This e-book will help get you started and keep you going in the changes you want to make. There are other e-books in the collection that cover individual categories to offer more specialized guidance, as well. They're designed to get your brain working and start you on the right path to get where you want to be.

These e-books stem from the blog A Life You Want. They are drawn from the posts that compiled the first year of the blog. Visit the site now, and you can follow my journey as I make changes in my own life (for more on my story, go to the next page). In the coming months, the blog will offer additional resources, as well, to help you in your quest to create the life you dream of.

It's going to be an exciting journey. It's been exciting and invigorating to me, and I know it can be for you, too. So give it some time, think about what you want, and let's get started!

My Story

I took turning 30 hard. Here I was: a college graduate, married with a house, and yet I felt as if I hadn't accomplished anything in my life. I had a failed business, I had tried out several different careers with no success, my completed novel wasn't what they were looking for and I was struggling with starting a family. I felt like a big, fat failure.

When that big day approached, I was a little emotional. I think I hid it pretty well, so my friends and family probably had no idea. But once the day had passed, and I was able to look at things a little more objectively, I realized: hey, I'm still young. So what if I haven't accomplished what I wanted to? Just because it hadn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't happen.

So I made it happen. I took charge of my life.

That was in 2010. Since then I've started a career that I wanted. I've self-published three novels, and I'm working on more. I've published two non-fiction e-books, with this latest series adding to that number. I've written a few articles, started informational websites.

I've been busy with my family – since I gave birth to our first child in February of 2012.

I've had a roller-coaster ride when it comes to my health, money, and making a difference goals, but I'm confident the ride will be over soon.

Needless to say, I've been busy! And while I'm not exactly where I want to be yet, I'm a heck of a lot closer than I was. I know I'm on the right track, and I know that I can make it happen.

I have high hopes that the rest of my 30s (and the rest of my life!) will be filled with good things.

Disclaimer

The tips, ideas, and suggestions that are made in this series of e-books (and the coordinating blog) are based on my personal experiences and knowledge. While they are based on sound information, I am not an expert or medical professional. For specific medical, psychological, or legal concerns, I encourage you to seek out a professional in the appropriate field.

Part 1: Getting Started

Chapter 1

Taking Charge

Taking charge of your life is hard. Not only do you have to figure out what you want; you have to figure out how you're going to get it. You have to set goals, make game plans, and keep yourself motivated to keep going. But, while it may be difficult, it's worth it. The goal is your dream, the life you want.

When it comes to visualizing your journey, a mountain peak is often a representation of reaching your goal, and it can be an accurate comparison. It's a hard climb up, but once you've reached the summit, what a view! On the way up, however, you'll encounter obstacles galore. Some will be outside forces taking their toll on your journey. Some will be internal struggles, battling you from the inside, holding you back. The road is long, difficult, challenging.

The worst, however, is the lack of oxygen as you proceed. The higher you get – and the more successful you become -- the harder it is to breathe. Your body is put under stress. You get lightheaded. It takes more effort just to take another step. What to do you do?

Some will succumb to the pressure and begin the descent back down. Perhaps they don't want to reach their goal strongly enough to put forth the effort required.

Some will think themselves weak, and while they really want to reach the peak, they don't think they're strong enough to make it. They hem and haw at their current level, unsure what to do, perhaps eventually making their way down over time.

The rest, though -- the achievers -- they will take as deep a breath as they can and keep going. They acknowledge it won't be easy to get to the top, but reaching it is the only option. Perhaps they have something to prove -- to themselves, to others. They want to know they were able to succeed. They want to have the satisfaction, the pride, that reaching their goal will provide.

Which category do you fall into? Are you determined enough to be one of the elite: reaching your goals and living the life you want? Or do you lack the determination and strength to make it to the top? We're all capable of reaching that peak. But how far are you willing to climb?

It's not easy to take charge of your life and reach those goals, but with the right plans in place, and the right motivation, you can do it. And no matter what point you're at in your journey, this e-book will help you get there. Believe in yourself, and you will reach your goals.

Chapter 2

Setting Goals and Making Plans

No matter what you're trying to achieve, setting goals will help keep you focused and on track to achieve it. But not knowing how to reach your goals will ensure you stay stuck in your rut, spinning your tires, frustrated with no progress. That's where making plans comes into play. This chapter will cover both.

Making goals and plans that are in alignment with what you really want and who you are will set you up for success, making it easier to stay motivated and get you where you want to be.

Setting Goals

You likely have a picture in your mind of your ideal life, filled with everything you've ever wanted. That image is where you want to be, but it's probably not very specific. You need to determine what that life is like, and what aspects of it are different from the life you have now, so you can know how to get to that point.

What is it you're ultimately hoping to achieve by taking charge of your life? If you need help with deciding, I encourage you to check out the other parts of this e-book or visit the blog at www.ALifeYouWant.com to get ideas and inspiration to get you started in the right direction. The purpose is to figure out what aspects of your life you want to change, and how you want them to change. What is your desired end result? That is your goal.

Write down your goals, as this will provide visual motivation whenever you question what you're doing or why. While you're formulating these goals, however, make sure you take a few things into consideration:

Be Realistic

As with any goals, to set yourself up for success you should set realistic expectations. Lose 10 pounds in a month? Doable. Lose 50 pounds a month? Not so much. Get a job? Doable. Get a highly competitive job you'll love in less than a month in a bad economy? That's a bit harder. Take a look at your ultimate goals, your habits, and your lifestyle. What can be done when all factors are taken into consideration? What can be done with reasonable modifications?

Take Life Into Consideration

Things happen. Life happens. Not taking that into account when setting your goals can be a death sentence. For example, setting a strict regimen for yourself that requires things happening at the same time every day can be difficult -- especially if your work schedule changes, you have a spouse and/or children, or you have any kind of commute that can be affected by traffic.

Take Others Into Consideration

Unless you live by yourself in a bubble, you'll have to interact with other human beings. Whether those people are friends, family members, coworkers, or even casual acquaintances, they have the ability to affect your life. Relationships take time, and interactions take time, and regardless of the level of closeness, each person you interact with will take time. That affects the time you have to devote to your goals and resolutions.

In addition, some of the things you decide to do or change can have an effect on these other people. For example, if you decide you want to move to a warmer climate to a state with a low cost of living, you'd better hope your spouse and kids are on board -- or they'll fight you every step of the way.

Go for Wants Instead of Shoulds

I should eat healthier. But unless I get to the point where I want to, staying motivated will remain a challenge -- and will probably mean I won't be successful. If you focus on what you should be doing, or should be resolving to do, maintaining any kind of life change will be difficult. You'll dread doing what you need to do to reach your goal. And that means you'll cheat. You'll slack off. You'll come up with reasons not to. In short, you won't reach your goal. Instead, focus on the life changes you want to make. If you're tired of eating junk food and want to eat healthy, to feel healthy, then you'll be more motivated to succeed. And that means it'll be easier to reach your goals.

Create a Life You Want

Most importantly, make sure you're making changes for the right reasons. If you reach your goal, will you be happy? Or are you doing something just to make someone else happy? This is your life, and you're the one who has to live it. Be sure that any changes you make will bring you that much closer to creating a life you truly want.

Set Mini Goals

If you're anything like me, you're looking at the huge life experience that you want to change and you're feeling a bit overwhelmed. That's a huge undertaking you have there!

To keep yourself from getting overwhelmed, you may want to break it down a bit, and separate your main goal into manageable chunks so you have smaller, more tangible goals that are attainable in a much shorter time frame. The goals can be as big or as small as you need them to be -- anything that will keep you motivated and pushing ahead. Here are some examples:

* Career

Enroll in a class or program -- then pass it and graduate

Apply to (specific number here) jobs a day, a week, a month

* Money

Pay off a single credit card or loan

Save (specific number here) in a savings account or retirement account

* Relationships

Set up (specific number here) dates or meetings with people you want to boost relationships with

Attend (specific number here) family functions

* Health

Make a doctor's appointment -- keep it -- and follow the doctor's recommendations

Commit to a vitamin regimen for (specific number here) days

* Making a Difference

Volunteer for (specific number here) days, weeks, or months

Mentor a child for (specific number here) days, weeks, or months

As I said, you can make your goals as big or