Bullying, Related Problems and the "Stupid" Professor

Bulling, Related Problems and the Stupid Professor

Jon Van Loon

Copyright 2013 Jon Van Loon

Smashwords Edition

Warning!

You are about to read a monograph by me the stupid Professor, (Full Professor with PhD University of Toronto now retired) but with only grade nine capability in spelling, vocabulary, grammar and syntax. Due to a learning disability my visual and auditory memories are only in the 40th and 60th percentile ranges respectively. Although despite these problems I have several peer reviewed and well received science books published by major publishers together with a medley of other academic achievements; throughout life I have suffered persistent severe verbal bullying abuse for a variety of individuals suggesting that I was/am stupid.

The facts here-in have only with great difficulty been extracted from a miasma of memories and notes scratched on odd bits of paper. As a consequence of being unable to compose this type of document using conventional chapters strung together to form a continuous manuscript, this memoire is comprised of a sequence of events accumulated over a lifetime of suffering verbal bullying.

It is important to note that I was not subjected to cyber bullying and hence what follows lacks experience with this one of the vilest forms of modern bullying. Despite this gap the reader will identify most of the common traits of tyrannical and ruthless bullies to be present in my experiences.

Thus I hope by writing about my experiences of life as a stupid Professor, much of which is related to my learning disability it often resulting in reprehensible verbal and written abuse; others who suffer from any type of bullying will hopefully find an important degree of inspiration from my ultimate success in life.

Many of the incidents described have been published by me elsewhere but have in most cases been recomposed to emphasize the bullying components.

I hope this properly defines for the reader the structure and content of the manuscript below.

Preface

One fall a laudatory front page article in a popular Toronto newspaper featured a celebrated, widely sought after, multi scholarships awarded, secondary school graduate.  This scholastic hero had achieved nearly perfect grades in his finishing year and after having been pursued by a plethora of Universities was shown proudly entering his Institution of choice, the University of Toronto.  Through implication and probably rightly so, students of this calibre were being showcased as possessing the raw material that would not only ensure academic distinction, but after graduation allow attainment of eminence and provide an example of the typically high quality standards exhibited by their alma mater.  What a boost of pride such high standard student acquisitions must also be to the University Alumni.

Individuals like me could never able to hope to receive such accolade. In fact I was said to be stupid by most of my peers. Why did this seem to be my reality?

Cast in a different format; how did my being bullied evoke learning and emotional horrors beginning in early grade school that continue to this day to manifest themselves? It was certainly not the day a frustrated public school teacher threw a blackboard brush bouncing it off my head, after ripping up the unintelligible title page of my assignment. Nor did acquiring a mark of -29 in a typing test initiate my feelings of angst. Then what about achieving a rating of 98 on an IQ test? No, my unidentifiable stupidity was revealed much before these incidents.

My being bullied dilemma emerged simply enough. In grade 4 I was still unable to spell straightforward words such as their and always correctly, in marked contrast to the rest of the class who had ceased such errors. Even after much practice with my harried but sympathetic mother, no matter how hard I tried, these words most often appeared spelled as thier and allways. Ever try solving arithmetic equations with a likelihood of number reversal or dropping terms as happened to me when executing a lengthy solution? Even on lined paper my assignments seemed fated to have written material slanted at odd angles down the page. And my organizational skills promised disaster leaving my working places arranged in a hopelessly arbitrary mess. Exacerbating my memory difficulties with recalling material when answering questions later on in my schooling was the knowledge that the time allotted for an exam was usually only about 2/3 of what I would actually require. For these deficiencies I was regularly told I was for example stupid, loonie and an idiot.

An assessment of my stupidity predicament reveals 2 watershed factors among others. The first of these relates to reading comprehension and the second to an unexpected commitment by a wonderful teacher.

Probably the Alpha and Omega of my academic difficulties lay in understanding what I struggled to read and listen to and much of the bullying about my alleged stupidity resulted thus. Although able to read sentences I could usually not comprehend what they meant or having achieved this then would not remember this material even upon reaching of the same page. This point must be stressed because although a root cause in my childhood years of my stupid moniker this problem was a particularly devastating obstacle in my later professorial pursuits. To illustrate, new scientific laboratory equipment was acquired frequently. Such was usually accompanied by thick Instruction Booklets. As the head of the lab I was expected to proficiently and confidently demonstrate the intricacies of these often complicated new devices. In recognizing the futility of attempting to read the instructions I would begin a random practice pushing promising looking buttons. Most times not only was success not achieved but the equipment would suddenly come to life in some unknown fashion often becoming unstable and I would have to quickly pull the plug to prevent possible damage. Perceiving disaster a certainty I would hand this duty to a senior researcher together with the instruction booklet as often as not still sealed in its original container. What an embarrassment when my junior sometimes blindsided me with the homily; when in doubt why not read the instructions

With this erudition other problematic issues I struggled with become more understandable. Unlike the teacher who resorted to blackboard brush violence to vent his bullying frustrations others were much more subtle in their reprimands. Upon observing my spelling difficulties many were prompted to ejaculate; use a dictionary to determine the correct spellings. Unfortunately this route was disabled in my case. My horrible spelling prevented location of most words from my dictionary. Others harped on my unsuitability for the academic stream what with my low IQ, a failure in grade 11 French and horrible reading skills I had no hope of ever acquiring a satisfactory status for University entrance.

Although bullying by classmates and teachers had large part convinced me of my stupidity, somehow a flickering vestige of self-confidence remained. I refused to give in.

Introduction

I was born in 1937 and am thus 76. Recent attentions focusing on the phenomenon of bullying made me realize that in my day this was the word that referred mainly to acts of physical menacing and physical violence. Today the term bullying relates to a broad spectrum of acts both physical and mental including cyber attacks of threatening, intimidation, belittling, browbeating and being made a laughing stock. These later were commonly not treated very seriously in my time by society. You just took your lumps be they verbal or physical and only a chicken succumbed. This was a serious deficiency of that time

Belittling, browbeating and being a laughing stock were factors I lived with much of my life.

Considering the plethora of forms that make up bullying each can have its own disabling serious effects on the recipient. This story referring mainly to belittling, browbeating and being made a laughing stock from an intellectual stand point was inflicted by many levels of humanity. The bullied Individual, me, almost succumbed to my accuser’s contentions that I was indeed stupid.

This account will sometimes take place in unusual locales and include amusing foibles and sad observances, which have arisen here in Toronto and from when I lived and did scientific work for short intervals in many countries all the continents except Antarctica.

Cyber Bullying

It is crucial to stress from the beginning that cyber bullying was not an issue during my upbringing. This form of very debilitating bullying coming as it did with the advent of computers and related devices often imparted through the social media is an experience that I cannot directly relate to. Its precursor, in a commonly employed tactic, similar material in written form was transmitted in anonymous hand delivered notes and by mail. Admittedly this manner of bullying never reached the vileness that cyber forms have now achieved.

However those of you who suffer any type of bullying including the more recent cyber type will relate to most of the details that follow. This is because the bullies have typical characteristics to and use degrading verbalizations and physical threats in a manner that will be easily identified with. It must be stressed that the following chronicled offences in my case begin in grade school and are detailed from then continuously through adulthood. That I successfully resisted the intended purpose was a combination of encouraging loved ones, inspirational individuals that wandered into my life and even luck.

Self Worth-(A positive Self Worth being the Ultimate Goal)

Generally speaking the following approximates what we view as self worth and its nuances.

I’m me and what the Hell can I do about it? Langley, towards the denouement of his seemingly irrational Fifth Ave New York existence, utters this frustratingly terse self appraisal in E. L. Doctorow’s epic study of 2 eccentric brothers in Homer and Langley. This succinct and cryptic message jolted me to the realization that as we zig-zag along life’s corridors from birth to maturity this just about sums up our ultimate fate. The only question to be resolved really is how I became Me and how you became or will become you.

Change comes to the world through the attitudes and deeds of individuals. As Ghandi stated, You must be the change you want to see in the World. Our daily attitudes and actions piggy-back upon our perception of our self worth.

World leaders effect the major changes in the world. It is hard to imagine a humble Head-of-State; two important living examples to my mind might be the Dali Lama and Nelson Mandela. Of course in the recent past Gandhi springs to mind. On the other hand humility unlike notoriety sometimes results in persons of importance being enveloped in a shroud of obscurity. It is not uncommon to think of an important life changing discovery but then be unable to remember the mastermind.

Names such as Mao, Hitler and Stalin stand out not only due to their deeds but because of their, violence, self hype and demands for subservience. The desire to intrude into the limelight is a trait much too common in the human race.

Self opinion and our actions there-from is the engine that powers the tenor of our daily living and often strongly affects the esprit of our family friends and colleagues. Development of self worth