Nice Girls Can Be Nudists Too!

Nice Girls Can Be Nudists Too!

An irreverent collection of musings, essays and

writings about nudists, naturism and nudity.

By Liz Egger

Copyright 2012 : Liz Egger

Published by Wicked Books

Smashwords Edition

Cover image ©Depositphotos/Larysa Solodka

Smashwords Edition Licence Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Introduction and Notes

1: The Day Of The Toads

2: The Naked Lunch

3: Nice Girls Can Be Nudists Too

4: If Le Cap Fits . . .

5: Clothing Kills

6: Bore Wars

7: Five Reasons To Choose A Nudist Vacation

8: Can We Have Our Nudist Back?

9: Should Size Matter To A Nudist?

10: Strut Your Fluff

11: The Lost Generation And Eternal Youth

12: Quiz – How Good A Nudist Are You?

13: Sleep Nude And Live Long

14: Camming On Strong

15: Pants Down, Ratings Up

16: Barely Logical Naked Laws

17: Nude Health

18: The Facts Of Life Modelling

19: A Very Distinguished Minority

20: Why I Don't Always Want To Be Naked

21: Lies, Thighs And Not So Vital Statistics

22: Peeping Toms Are Always With Us

23: Niche Work If You Can Get It

24: My Breasts Are Like Melons, So I'll Do The Cooking

25: It's Just A Phobia I'm Going Through

26: How Does A Nudist Spend Christmas?

About The Author

Other Books By Liz Egger

Introduction and Notes

When all you're wearing is a smile, you've got to smile a lot.

As an old hand at this nudist lark I'm often asked for advice by those who are contemplating trying out the nudist lifestyle for themselves. As a professional writer and author of a guide book for nudist beginners I know I should tell them to invest a couple of pennies in my book and help keep the wolf from my door for a while longer. I should do. But I don't. Always ready to espouse the nudist cause I give them the best advice I can. Free of charge, poor unworldly, befuddled old soul that I am. I'll never get rich.

Anyway, my advice usually contains the admonition to take it slowly. Starting in nudism is a strange and daunting prospect for a newcomer. Don't rush, I say. Experience it a little at a time.

Publishing an e-book for mass distribution, (so-called indie publishing) is a bit like that for me. A new and daunting experience. It's something that I've never done before. I'm sound on traditional publishing. It holds no fears for me. But indie publishing is a step into the unknown. It's unfamiliar and a bit frightening, but those in the know predict that it's the future of publishing, so I'll have to get to grips with it sooner or later. And now is as good a time as any.

Oh lawd. Now I know how those new and nervous wannabe nudist feel.

So I've taken a leaf out of their book and digested as much advice as I can before taking the plunge. Which in my case included actually buying someone else's books, as there wasn't another gullible old trot handy to dish out free advice.

And guess what? Amongst all the information and instructions that these books threw at me one familiar mantra came through. Take it steady. Don't get too ambitious too soon.

OK. Good advice. Not a 250,000 word fully illustrated four colour guide to the world's nudist hot-spots then. Not yet anyway.

So, something a little more modest. About 30,000 words is what the nibs recommend for a first indie book of this type. A little anthology type thing, perhaps?

I've been writing articles, essays and musings, including a regular syndicated column called From a Nude Perspective for the nudist media for over 20 years. The thing is, this whole body of work was written specifically for the nudist media, those magazines, websites, journals and newsletters dedicated to those of us who have a penchant for getting our kit off. It was hardly a mainstream readership, and unless you were a nudist yourself, (or occasionally sneaked a peek at nudist websites when the boss was out of the office,) you wouldn't have encountered any of it. In fact some of the earliest work has probably disappeared from public view entirely by now.

So I had the idea of presenting some of this previous and largely unseen material to a wider audience. I like to think that most of it is entertaining enough to interest a casual reader, and who knows? It might even tempt some of you to give naturism a whirl yourself.

Which is how this book came into being.

Nice Girls Can Be Nudists Too is a collection of 26 of those articles and essays. I've chosen writings from across the years, which cover a fairly wide spread of topics within the main theme of nudism and naturism. Other than that it is a fairly arbitrary selection.

I've dug them out of my hard drive, blown off the cobwebs and, where necessary, updated them with some footnotes and the odd reference to help you find a little more information on a particular topic should you be interested in doing so. I now present them to you in no particular order, fully restored and digitally remastered, with all the scratches and crackly bits removed.

And so let me welcome you to Nice Girls Can Be Nudists Too, a distillation of 20 years of my nudist writing and my first indie book.

I hope that you enjoy it enough to have made it all worthwhile, and that some of you at least, are piqued and intrigued enough by the insights into nudist life to try naturism for yourself. There I go again, preaching the cause. I must stop. All this espousing really takes it out of a girl.

So without further ado, I'll hand over to you. Best wishes, and please enjoy.

Liz Egger,

Herefordshire UK.

October 2012

Just some quick notes before you move on...

Nudist v Naturist

A question which often crops up is whether it should be nudist or naturist, and what if anything is the difference. My own view is that both words are interchangeable and I use either and both terms at random throughout this book.

Hyperlinks

Some of the web addresses given in this book were incredibly unwieldy. For the sake of convenience I have used the excellent utility Snipurl to shorten the long urls into something more manageable. (For example Snipurl pruned the monstrous http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/6586031/Women-should-bare-40-per-cent-of-their-bodies-to-attract-men.html down to http://snipurl.com/250h1q3. Pretty neat ehh?)

Back to contents

1: The Day of The Toads

First published September 2008

I was sitting this morning on the terrace enjoying an early morning cuppa. Minding my own business, thinking of this and that, at peace with the world. The sun was shining and the early morning quiet was gently washing my soul clean of the impurities acquired from inadvertently polishing off several large and splendid single malts the night before. Everything, in fact, was almost perfect.

And then the frog appeared, tooling about on the edge of the pool. Not just a little frog mind you. This was a big frog. In fact, it was a very big frog, and his beady little eye was regarding me in a most marked manner.

At first I attempted to ignore it. This is my house. An Englishwoman's castle and so forth. I pretended not to see it, and tried to contemplate a passing bird, a blade of grass, a flagstone on the terrace; anything, in fact, but the blasted frog.

But it was no good. Wherever I cast my gaze there it was, in the corner of my eye, like a malevolent presence from a nightmare. I just knew it was sizing up the distance to my cleavage, prior to making a mighty leap.

I'm ashamed to report that I beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen, my morning ruined.

Why is it that everything about frogs is grotesque?

Frogs are evil. They're slimy, ugly and make a hideous noise, and I hate them. Always have, ever since I was a little girl and got a big wart on my hand from picking one up. ( And if you tell me that that's an old wives tale I'll show you the scar on my hand where I had to have the wart removed. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!) If I walk past a frog pool I'm convinced that one of them will jump up my skirt, or puff out its throat in that revolting way they have. It's disgusting.

I've written elsewhere in this book of my friend who found a large frog in her knickers after taking a leak in a field and ended up going to hospital for multiple lacerations. She is now an incurable ranidaphobe and is no longer able to enjoy her favourite tapioca pudding due to its similarity to frog spawn. (She won't pee behind a hedge again either actually, but that's beside the point.)

Toads are just as bad. We had an infestation of toads at our nudist club some while ago. One moment we were basking in the sun, happy, naked, relaxed, carefree and, crucially, toad free. The next we were overrun with the things.

They came all at once, and from nowhere, suddenly appearing on the lawn like a swarm of large fleas, hopping and jumping and croaking like corncrakes. They moved across in a wave, broadly in the same direction and popping over everything in their way - prostrate bodies, picnic tables, newspapers, cooler bags - nothing stopped them.

There was, as you can imagine, a flurry of naked people towards the clubhouse - yours truly