ConZentrate: Get Focused and Pay Attention--When Life Is Filled with Pressures, Distractions, and Multiple Priorities

Introduction

Would you like to be able to keep your mind on what you’re doing—even while phones are ringing, people are walking back and forth, and you’ve got seven other projects competing for your attention? Would you like to know how to set up the state of flow so you can perform your best? Would you like to learn how to be here and now, instead of here, there, and everywhere?

You’re in the right place, then, because that’s what this book covers. I know you’re busy, so I promise not to waste your time on theories. Theories don’t help much when we’re trying to ConZentrate on something and our mind is a million miles away. You’ll learn how to focus on what you want, when you want, for as long as you want. You’ll also discover how to:

• Lengthen your attention span and keep your mind from wandering

• ConZentrate in a chaotic office—despite DNI (distractions, noise, interruptions)

• Stay on task even if you have ADD or ADHD

• Switch from project to project (without losing your mind or sense of humor)

• Motivate yourself to pay attention when you’re tired, bored, or overwhelmed

• Have peace of mind anywhere, anytime

• Access and sustain the exquisite state of ConZonetration

• Block out bothersome thoughts

• Improve your ability to remember names, data, and daily details

I’ve had fun writing this book, and I hope you have fun reading it. I’ve divided it into read bites—short chunks of self-contained information—so you can dip into it and derive value even if you only have a few minutes to spare. I’ve also packed the pages with laugh-out-loud anecdotes, thought-provoking quotes, and inspiring success stories so you can see how other people have already applied these ideas and benefited from them.

In L. Frank Baum’s classic Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow desperately wants to be given a brain. The false Wizard promises him, If you will come to me tomorrow morning, I will stuff your head with brains. I cannot tell you how to use them, however; you must find that out for yourself. If you’re ready to learn how to use your brain (what Woody Allen called his second most favorite organ); if you’re ready to learn how to pay attention to what’s really important at work, home, and school, in relationships, sports, and life; turn the page and let’s grow.

PART 1

Want to Get a Head?

Life consists of what a man is

thinking all day.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

WAY 1

What Is ConZentration, Anyway?

Every time I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.

—Henny Youngman

I know how Youngman feels. Every time I ask people what concentration is, I get a different answer. Former New York Mets manager Wes Westrum said, Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand. Concentration is like that. We do it every day, but up until now, few of us have understood exactly what it means or appreciated the pivotal role it plays in almost everything we do. The following five definitions incorporate both the traditional interpretation of the word and my new approach to this all-important skill.

As you read these definitions, please think back to a specific time you experienced that type of ConZentration. Remember where you were and what you were doing. Re-experience how good it felt to focus so clearly and comprehensively.

1. ConZentration is the ability to be single-minded. Charles Dickens described a character in one of his books this way: He did each single thing as if he did nothing else. Focusing on one task can be a challenge because we often have many different things to do. That’s why it’s important to understand that ConZentration means temporarily ignoring less important obligations. Deferring other projects doesn’t mean they’re not important, just not as important as the priority we’ve selected right now.

2. ConZentration is interest in action. What did the Zen practitioner say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. Can you think of a time you were so engrossed in what you were doing, you became one with it? Perhaps you were reading a good novel, playing chess, or gardening. Remember what an exquisite experience it was to lose yourself in that activity? Athletes call this the zone, that blissful state in which we’re not even thinking about what we’re doing, we’re just doing it. When we’re enthralled, captivated, or spellbound, we are in a state of flow, or as the poet Virgil observed, all aglow in the work.

3. ConZentration is mental obedience. Do you sometimes suffer from mind mutiny? One student laughed upon hearing this definition and said, Sometimes my mind acts like a rebellious teenager. I tell it what to do, and it ignores me. ConZentration is the power to make our mind do what we want, rather than letting it do what it wants.

4. ConZentration is cerebral staying power. Noel Coward commented, Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: ‘Do you have staying power?’

Bryce Courtenay, author of the best-selling novel The Power of One, was asked by a Maui Writers Conference attendee, What’s the secret to being a great writer? Courtenay replied in his dramatic, gravelly voice, "Bum glue. Nothing beats sitting at your desk and writing until it comes out right."

Famous philosophers throughout time have arrived at the same conclusion: mental tenacity—the ability to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement—is the key to attaining what we want in life. As Seneca said, There is nothing which persevering effort and unceasing and diligent care cannot accomplish.

5. ConZentration is mindfully managing our T.I.M.E. (Thoughts, Interest, Moments, Emotions). Please note the new definition of T.I.M.E. Traditionally, we’ve measured time in days, months, and years. Wouldn’t you agree, though, that when we think back over our life, we don’t remember days, months, or years; we remember moments. Specifically, those moments in which our thoughts, interest, and emotions were fully engaged in a person, place, or process.

While developing the concept of ConZentration, I reached an interesting conclusion. If we reframe our concept of time, we can remove our compulsion to race through life. Instead of thinking there’s never enough time, we realize we have all the time we’re going to get … right now. We come to understand the best way to make the most of our time, is to make the most of this moment.

American psychologist and philosopher William James said, Our experience is what we attend to. In other words, our life consists of what we pay attention to. If we focus on meaningful, positive things, we’ll have a meaningful, positive life. If we focus on meaningless, negative things, we’ll have a meaningless, negative life. Yes, this is simplistic. It is also enduringly profound and one of life’s great truths. As Buddha said, We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.

In the final analysis, the quality of our life depends on our ability to consciously choose who and what we give our Thoughts, Interest, Moments, and Emotions to.

Examples of ConZentration

For one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of

friends. But for one who has failed to do so, his very mind will

be the greatest enemy.

—Bhagavad Gita

Seminar participants often ask for a good example of ConZentration. One of the best demonstrations of ConZentration I ever witnessed was years ago in New York’s Grand Central Station on a busy Easter weekend. For some reason, only one person was manning the octagonal information booth in the center of the concourse. Travelers were running up from all sides, pounding on the glass windowpanes, waving their arms, and yelling, Where’s Track 19? How do I catch the train to Connecticut? Can I purchase my ticket on the train?

By all rights, the employee should have been a nervous wreck. Instead, he was the picture of ConZentration. Why? He was calmly giving his complete attention to the individuals who had waited in line, instead of chaotically trying to serve everyone at once. He was the personification of all five definitions of ConZentration. He was single-minded, putting his interest in action and making his mind obey. He was courteously controlling these very stressful circumstances and mindfully managing his T.I.M.E. He persisted in giving unceasing and diligent attention despite a confusing environment that was doing its best to tear him to mental pieces.

Focus and Flow

At times I think and at times I am.

—Paul Valéry

ConZentration is a focus we facilitate and a flow we fall into. One is a thinking doing state, the other is a nonthinking being state. One requires exertion (we ConZentrate on studying for a test) and the other is effortless (we get caught up in a movie and lose track of time). You’ll learn how to do both in this book.

When was the last time you experienced the congruent state of focus and flow when everything was right with the world? Perhaps you were sharing a holiday meal at the dinner table with your family. Everyone was in good spirits and good health, and you were flooded with a sense of gratitude. Maybe you were skiing through fresh powder snow on a beautiful blue-sky day. Your knees were pumping on the turns and bouncing over moguls, and you were in a state of pure exhilaration. Perhaps you got caught up in reading a romantic novel; hours went by and you weren’t even aware of it.

What those experiences had in common was ConZentration. You were completely immersed in and connected with what you were doing. Alan Watts said, This—the immediate, everyday, and present experience—is IT, the entire and ultimate point for the existence of a universe. ConZentration helps us focus on and in the moment, instead of frantically rushing from moment to moment.

Action Plan 1. What Is ConZentration, Anyway?

I used to think the human brain was the most fascinating part of

the body, and then I realized, What is telling me that?

—comedian Emo Phillips

I still think the human brain is the most fascinating part of the body, and you will too as soon as you start noticing how exquisite experiences can be and how effective you are when you give things your full attention.

Today’s assignment is to increase your awareness of the many different ways you focus during the day. Consciously catch yourself ConZentrating. Put your interest in action by savoring every tangy bite of a crunchy apple. Discipline your mind to stick with an unpleasant chore and experience the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Turn on your answering machine when you get home and control your T.I.M.E. by enjoying an evening at home without interruptions.

When an interviewer asked TV newscaster Diane Sawyer the secret to her success, she said, I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. Promise yourself you’ll accept no substitutes. Resolve today to give notice, and you will reap the rewards of a day lived mindfully versus mindlessly.

WAY 2

If You Don’t Mind

We are the hurdles we leap to be ourselves.

—Michael McClure

Some participants attend my workshops out of self-proclaimed desperation. I’m losing my mind, they say half seriously. I can’t ConZentrate, they claim.

I share the good news that in almost every instance, an inability to ConZentrate isn’t caused by a mechanical failure of the brain. It’s not that they can’t ConZentrate; either they’re doing something that’s undermining their ability to focus or they’re not doing something that would enable them to focus. If they identify and fix that fault, they’ll be able to fix their attention on what they want, when they want.

Blockheads

Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

—African proverb

The following twelve ConZentration no-nos are the obstacles that keep us from paying attention as perfectly as we’d like. As you read through them, ask yourself which have been compromising your ConZentration. In the future, instead of getting frustrated if you can’t ConZentrate, stop and notice where you slipped up. Once you’ve identified what’s wrong, figure out how to go around that block and you’ll free up your ability to focus.

Block 1. No privacy. Science fiction author Isaac Asimov said, Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn’t look up. Well, maybe once. Many of us have the exact opposite situation. Everything interferes with our concentration. Our workplace is such an orgy of distractions and interruptions, we look up every other minute to see what’s happening. Do your surroundings support or sabotage your efforts to stay focused?

Block 2. No instruction. I’ve asked thousands of people if anyone ever taught them how to ConZentrate. Only a handful have said yes. Most of us had the mental equivalent of being thrown into deep water and told to think or swim. ConZentration is a skill, much like playing a musical instrument or using a computer. We can’t expect to do it well if we’ve never been instructed how.

Block 3. No discipline or patience. Helen Keller said, We can do anything we want if we stick to it long enough. Unfortunately, some people don’t stick to much of anything. They’ve adopted Carrie Fisher’s tongue-in-cheek philosophy that instant gratification takes too long. They’ve developed what’s called a low frustration tolerance, the unhealthy habit of abandoning activities as soon as they become uninteresting or unpleasant. As Robert Byrne describes it, there are two kinds of people; those who finish what they start, and those who …

Block 4. No clear order or plan. Robert Frost quipped, I’m not confused, I’m well mixed. If your mind is confused about what it’s supposed to do, it usually doesn’t do anything. It can’t ConZentrate if it is given:

• no order (I really need to work through that in-basket isn’t an order, it’s wishful thinking.)

• a negatively stated order (I don’t want to forget that appointment.)

• an impossible-to-achieve order (I’m going to study all night so I can ace that test.)

• too many orders (I’m going to listen to these language tapes while fixing lunch, monitoring the kids in the pool, and cleaning the kitchen.)

• contrary orders (I’m going to stop smoking today, but it’s okay to have a few cigarettes while I’m playing poker with my friends.)

Block 5. No energy. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, Suffice it to say that after about an hour of solitary pillow-hugging, I began to realize that for two years of my life I had been drawing on resources I did not possess, that I had been mortgaging myself physically and spiritually up to the hilt. Do you sometimes feel you’ve been mortgaging yourself to the hilt? Are you running on empty? ConZentration is directed mental energy. It’s hard to direct mental energy if we’re exhausted and don’t have any.

Block 6. No one-track mind. Who do they think I am? Leonard Bernstein once exclaimed. Everybody? People with a peripatetic (movement hither and thither) schedule find it almost impossible to focus on one think at a time. Type A people and those with ADD (attention deficit disorder) have hyperactive minds that go, go, go all the time. As one woman described it, I have one speed—all—out. Such people find it hard to stay focused because their butterfly brains constantly flit from one thing to the next.

Block 7. Nobody home. Other people have a brain that ruminates more than it races. When asked what she thought of the city of Oakland, California, Gertrude Stein said, There’s no there, there. Daydreamers can relate to this: they are physically present, but their minds are often elsewhere (hence the word absent-minded). Part 8 of this book suggests specific steps people can take to stay O.N. T.A.S.K. despite spaciness or a mind that’s going a mile a minute.

Block 8. No interest. If you only care enough for a result, thought William James, you will almost certainly attain it. A fundamental rule of human behavior is that action requires incentive. The mind needs stimulus to start. In other words, if our heart’s not in it, our head won’t be in it. You may be thinking, I’m in trouble, then, because I’ve got to ConZentrate on things I don’t care about. Rest assured. Part 3 covers a variety of ways to arbitrarily provide interest so you can focus when you don’t feel like it.

Block 9. No belief. When Yoda levitates a spaceship in The Empire Strikes Back, Luke says, I don’t believe it. Yoda replies, That is why you fail. The reason some of us can’t ConZentrate is because we believe we can’t. When skeptics walk into my seminars and claim, "I’ve never been able to focus," I ask them to think of a time they concentrated well. It could be the time they stayed up all night to finish a term paper … and only became aware of the time when the morning paper plunked against their front door. One women said she ConZentrated very intensely … while giving birth!

Maybe they were in a survival situation and had to ConZentrate or else. I’ll always remember the scary story a cave diver told the class about the time he switched over to his second oxygen tank, only to find it almost empty. He realized he had less than five minutes to find his way back out of the cave and up to the surface before he ran out of air. He related how, instead of panicking (which would have scrambled his brain and used even more of his precious little oxygen), he had the presence of mind to first take a few seconds to mentally retrace the route he had taken in. He knew he had only one chance, so he ConZentrated with all his power at every junction to make sure he took the right turn. He realized his ability to face up fully in that frightening situation saved his life.

In the twenty years I have been asking this question, everyone has been able to think of at least one occasion in which they focused completely on someone or something. It doesn’t have to be a situation as dire as the one the cave diver found himself in. It can be something as simple as becoming engrossed in a video game. Identifying an occasion where they’ve ConZentrated well helps people drop their self-limiting label so they can approach ConZentration with an open mind. The truth is, everyone can ConZentrate—maybe not every time we want, maybe not as long as we want, but we can do it.

Block 10. No frequent practice. Just as a couch potato wouldn’t be able to jump out of his La-Z-Boy lounger and run a half-marathon, a couch potato head can’t expect to ConZentrate on command if he’s been mentally lazy. If we want to be in good physical condition, we need to exercise our body frequently. If we want to be in good psychological condition, we need to exercise our brain frequently. Many retirees tell me they’re afraid of losing mental acumen as they get older. I tell them studies on aging show senior citizens can stay sharp if they regularly involve themselves in cerebrally challenging activities that require complex thinking. In other words, a decreased ability to ConZentrate is more often a result of the brain rusting out, not wearing out.

Block 11. No right. Sometimes when you look in his eyes, noted David Letterman, you get the feeling someone else is driving. Are you ConZentrating on your priorities? Or are you a people pleaser who lets other people drive your life? Some people know they’re focusing on the wrong things, but they don’t want to disappoint friends, hurt family members, or alienate customers and coworkers, so they go along to get along and end up saying yes to T.I.M.E.-consuming commitments when they would rather say no. The result of all this? A life that is not their own.

Block 12. No commitment. To affect the quality of the day, observed Henry David Thoreau, that is the art of life. Unfortunately, many people entertain any and every thought that comes to mind, even those that adversely affect the quality of their day. Either they don’t realize they’re thinking by default, not design, or they are not disciplined enough to focus on thoughts that serve, rather than sabotage, them. Perhaps it’s simply never occurred to them they need to learn how to think proactively—that this just doesn’t happen by itself.

You’re different. Robert Louis Stevenson said, To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end of life. By reading this book and making a commitment to improve your ConZentration, you are taking steps to become more of what you’re capable of being.

Action Plan 2. If You Don’t Mind

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable

ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor.

—Henry David Thoreau

A clever student once quipped, It seems like I’m a blockhead because I do all these ConZentration no-nos. Is there hope for me? His question gave me a perfect opportunity to share Martin Luther’s encouraging quote: Everything in the world is done by hope. I reassured him by saying that people who hope to elevate their ability to ConZentrate can—if they make a conscious endeavor to leap these hurdles instead of crash into