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    Bible Freaks and Geeks
    Bible Freaks and Geeks
    Bible Freaks and Geeks
    Ebook132 pages54 minutes

    Bible Freaks and Geeks

    By Ed Strauss

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    About this ebook

    Written in the humorous, gross style of the 2:52 line, designed to ignite the interest of boys.Bible Freaks & Geeks—This book helps boys to grow smarter, stronger, deeper, and cooler by showing them how hurtful name-calling can be. In a fun, engaging format, the book highlights biblical examples of machos, jocks, goons, wonks, slackers, airheads, and more. Through the biblical examples of characters who some would likely classify in these terms today, we learn what kind of people God has used throughout history to accomplish his plans. In Bible Freaks & Geeks we also discover that not only are people wrongfullylabeled today by such general and unkind terms, but that even in ancient times, humans exhibited the same traits that we see today. Readers will learnmore about the characters in the Bible, and also how to discern between descriptive labels and harmful stereotypes.Seriously Sick Bible Stuff—This book gives boys the lowdown on what living in ancient Israel was really like. In fun and engaging 2:52 style, it offers humorous, gross facts about day-to-day life in Bible times, shattering any illusions boys may have about how much easier things would have been if they had lived during Jesus’ day. This book exposes boys to the truth:sleeping next to goats (and cleaning up after them in the morning!), eating food that was spiced because it was spoiled, drinking water that was probably unsafe, and using bathroom accommodations that made outhouseslook good. Not to mention the tough, boring work kids had to do! Seriously Sick Bible Stuff helps boys understand the people of Jesus’ time—making them grateful for the life God has given them today. ED STRAUSS By his early teen years, Ed Strauss was writing several novels at once. He had a dresser for his clothing, but Ed had different priorities. The bottom drawer held his comic books—mostly Spider-Man, Tarzan, and Turok. The middle drawer overflowed with his story notes, research, and maps. The top drawer was stuffed with clothing. On a nearby shelf was Ed’s favorite reading material, an encyclopedia set he had won on a nationwide kiddie show. Ed lives in Chilliwack, BC.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherZondervan
    Release dateAug 30, 2009
    ISBN9780310865797
    Bible Freaks and Geeks
    Author

    Ed Strauss

    Ed Strauss lives in British Columbia, Canada, with his wife and three tween-aged children. Ed is a freelance writer with a passion for Biblical apologetics and fantasy fiction. Apart from writing, Ed enjoys biking and exploring nature.

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      Book preview

      Bible Freaks and Geeks - Ed Strauss

      ZONDERVAN

      Bible Freaks and Geeks

      Copyright © 2007 by Edward Strauss

      Illustrations © 2007 by Erwin Haya

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

      ePub Edition August 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-86579-7

      Requests for information should be addressed to:

      Zonderkidz, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Strauss, Ed, 1953-

             Bible freaks & geeks / by Ed Strauss.

                 p. cm.—(2:52)

           ISBN 978-0-310-71309-8 (so cover)

             1. Boys—Conduct of life—Juvenile literature. 2. Boys—Religious life—Juvenile literature. I.

         Title. II. Title: Bible freaks and geeks.

         BJ1641.S77 2007

         248.8’2—dc22                                                             2006035695

      All Scripture quotations unless otherwise noted are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

      Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

      Zonderkidz is a trademark of Zondervan.

      Editor: Barbara Scott

      Art direction & design: Merit Alderink

          CONTENTS

      Title Page

      Copyright Page

      Introduction

      1.    Sticking Labels on People

      2.    Machos, Jocks, and Goons

      3.    Dorks and the Seriously Uncool

      4.    Nerds, Geeks, and Wonks

      5.    Slackers and Mooches

      6.    Whiners, Wimps, and Wusses

      7.    Airheads and Dizzy Ditzes

      8.    Dolts and Dummies

      9.    Insane and Crazy

      10.    Jerks, Weirdos, and Creeps

      About the Publisher

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      INTRODUCTION

      In Bible times God’s people had a slang term for Gentiles, which meant anybody who was not a Jew. They called them dogs. This is different from the modern expression, dawg, which means a close friend. (Example: What’s up, dawg?) Dogs back then were mean, mangy mutts gobbling gross garbage. Dogs were considered unclean, so Jews couldn’t eat them or touch their dead bodies. (Like they would want to?)

      In fact, there were a whole slew of animals they considered unclean. The book of Leviticus, chapter 11, gives the lineup: camels, coneys, rabbits, pigs, sea creatures (except fish—fish were cool), eagles, vultures, ravens, owls, storks, bats, weasels, rats, geckos, great lizards, and skinks. A skink is a lizard, by the way, not a skinny skunk.

      One day God showed the apostle Peter that it was time to get over calling Gentiles unclean. Peter was up on the roof praying—the roof was fiat—when he became hungry. While his meal was being prepared, he had a grossed-out vision of this large sheet being let down from heaven by its four corners. It was full of beasts, reptiles, and birds crawling all over each other. It was like a picnic gone wrong.

      A voice commanded, Get up, Peter. Kill and eat!

      Peter nearly gagged. Surely not, Lord! I’ve never eaten anything [gulp] impure.

      The voice said, Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.

      Peter didn’t grab the nearest weasel, wring its neck with his bare hands, and force its raw body parts down his throat. He clued in that this was a vision, you know, a parable. God was saying that although the Gentiles seemed like weird critters, they were okay.

      Good thing Peter got the point, ’cause a few minutes later some Gentiles knocked on the gate and invited him to the home of a Roman officer named Cornelius. When Pete got to Corny’s house, he said, You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him. But God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean (Acts 10:9–35). Translation: You dawgs still seem weird to me, but hey, if God says you’re cool then you’re cool.

      You run into a lot of different kids in school—only instead of being called geckos, dogs, vultures, and lizards, they’re called geeks, nerds, kooks, and freaks. You wouldn’t normally call someone unclean these days, but you might call him seriously uncool.

      Now here’s the deal: if you hang with a certain group of kids, you’ll be tempted to dis others who aren’t part of your clique. Don’t. To paraphrase Peter: You’re well aware that a cool kid does not associate with a loser, but God has shown me that I shouldn’t call anyone a loser.

      No matter what kind of weird creatures other kids are—or you think they are—God

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