Pray for Today
By Barb Rogers
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About this ebook
Barb Rogers
Barb Rogers became a professional costume designer after beginning her journey of recovery. She is the founder of Broadway Bazaar Costumes, and author of three books about costuming. She's the author of Keep It Simple & Sane: Freeing Yourself from Addictive Thinking, TwentyFive Words and Clutter Junkie No More. Barb passed away in 2011.
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Pray for Today - Barb Rogers
Introduction
Some people say we are deluding ourselves by believing in God to make our lives seem more tolerable. They suggest that prayer is nothing more than an exercise in frustration. There is no real point to our existence, they say, and our lives end at the grave. I was one of those people.
At thirty-five, I thought I had nothing left to live for. I'd been stripped down to nothing. I'd outlived my children, what family I had left wanted nothing to do with me, even friends I thought were in worse shape had deserted me. All my possessions were gone, and I had no idea who or what I was—except a mess. I lived in half of a garage; didn't own a television, radio, or even a fan; walked to work most of the time; had to count how many sodas a week I could afford to buy; and lived on soup and crackers that I had to share with my dog so we might both survive.
A funny thing happened on my way to suicide. I discovered a flicker of hope, a small flame of life living deep within my heart. If I could just find a way to live for one more day, maybe my life wouldn't be totally worthless.
I wanted to live, but I didn't want to live this way. I believe God took care of me even before I was able, or willing, to ask him for help. Granted, my life was not good, but he made me see that I was still alive, and where there is life, there is hope. All it has to be is a tiny flicker, a pinpoint of light, a small wondering.
Through messages given me by others who had been down a similar path, my hope grew. I wondered, I watched, I listened. Prayer was the one thing they all had in common. They said I didn't even have to truly believe; I just had to find the willingness to try it. I became desperate enough to try, to use their spiritual exercises to get started. In my desperation, I cried out for help with one problem each day. It worked!
With each baby step I took, I got stronger, my spiritual muscle grew. Each time I came to prayer and the solution was made clear to me, I was amazed. The answers were not always easy, and I had to do things I didn't want to do to take care of problems, but the results were worth it.
At thirty-seven, I surrendered my life to the God of my understanding, gave him all that I was on a daily basis. My life was waiting for me, the life God wanted me to live. It was no longer a worthless existence, nor had it ever really been worthless. Everything that had gone before, everything that brought me to my knees, was shaping me for what was to come.
God has given me more than I ever dared to dream. All I had to do was open myself up to the possibilities and do the work required.
1 Is Anyone Out There?
God, that elusive being, with many faces and names, is not that hard to find. He's not the one who has been lost.
"Do you believe? Do you really believe? I've heard ministers yell that out to their audience. Perhaps what they need to ask is,
Do you wonder?"
If life flows like a river, with each of us in our own canoe, and you are paddling upstream as hard as you can and getting nowhere, or your canoe is swamped and sinking, you might wonder what it would be like to turn it around. Well, the choice is yours—and wondering is the first tug in the other direction. It might be a struggle, but it can be done.
Now that you've begun to question, to wonder if there might be a better way, it's time to consider faith. Faith is a sense of knowing without understanding. When you think about it, we practice faith every day without even realizing it. When we walk into a room and flip the light switch, we have faith that the bulb will light up. There is no need to understand the mechanics of electricity for the light to enhance our