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Varnos Goodshoe
Little is known about the author of this book. Who, exactly, was this Varnos Goodshoe? Where did he grow up? What, exactly, was his shoe size? Granted, the ancient text as tran...view moreLittle is known about the author of this book. Who, exactly, was this Varnos Goodshoe? Where did he grow up? What, exactly, was his shoe size? Granted, the ancient text as translated by Professor Schtupenheimer provides us with a few paltry clues--yet when we go to investigate them, we are left completely in the dark.
Where, for example, are these Plains of Despair? When we look to the text we find references to large mountains, rocks, and sand--but I think you'll agree, there are a great number of places on the globe where all of that can be had. And these whizzing, flying snakes--now, that--that should have been a sterling lead but our trained team of investigators found little evidence to indicate that they ever existed outside a few references to them in some ancient texts. When our crack team of investigators then turned to the alleged translator of the text, Professor Schtupenheimer, we were again left without a pot to boil a pig's ear in or a window to throw it out (though why we would want to do either of those things is a complete mystery to me).
Finally, and only as a last resort, our determined team of investigators turned to the author of the foreword. There--now, there, they actually found something. Oddly enough, they did manage to find a Nancy Maloney hiding out on the periphery of some obscure town known as Hallsville, Missouri. But this woman, who refuses to be interviewed, seems to be a most unlikely author of any books about anything. Indeed, how could a mother of six girls find the time to do aught besides weep and tear out her own hair, I ask you? And so--the search for our mystery author goes on.....view less