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    Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition
    Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition
    Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition
    Audiobook7 hours

    Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

    Written by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan and

    Narrated by Joseph Grenny and Emily Gregory

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    The book that revolutionized business communications has been updated for today's workplace. Crucial Conversations provides powerful skills to ensure every conversation-especially difficult ones-leads to the results you want. Written in an engaging and witty style, it teaches listeners how to be persuasive rather than abrasive, how to get back to productive dialogue when others blow up or clam up, and it offers powerful skills for mastering high-stakes conversations, regardless of the topic or person.

    This new edition addresses issues that have arisen in recent years. You'll learn how to: respond when someone initiates a Crucial Conversation with you; identify and address the lag time between identifying a problem and discussing it; and communicate more effectively across digital mediums.

    When stakes are high and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation poorly and suffer the consequences; or apply the lessons and strategies of Crucial Conversations and improve relationships and results. Whether they take place at work or at home, Crucial Conversations have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a Crucial Conversation again.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMcGraw Hill-Ascent Audio
    Release dateDec 7, 2021
    ISBN9781638411208

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    Reviews for Crucial Conversations

    4/5

    490 ratings29 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Most books I just listen to, find good and give them 5 stars. For this book, I slowed down, took notes and started discussing the content with others. I plan on listening to it together with at least one other person. It will change how you think and act in challenging conversations. An amazing a potentially life-changing book!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Great book. I was really happy that i could listen to it and it has made me understood that there are many ways to have a positive conversation. Recommend to all.
    • 4/5
      It was great and there are some amazing practicals as a framework to handle and give tough conversations. I wish it was more leadership based but it was very general and well rounded.
    • 5/5
      Amazing book. More to learn from this book. Thank You
    • 3/5
      Essential guide to serious talk.
    • 3/5
      Actual rating: 2.5. Some good ideas but I don't think I walked away from it with as many usable lessons on communication as I've had with other texts. Also, it lacks an understanding of nuance in relationships and intersectionality that I can't fully express right now.
    • 3/5
      Some padding in the content, but most of it is actual, useful how-to with examples. It's not fluff, it's not hogwash, it just takes time to reshape or rewire how one defaults into old habits in conversations. With practise, this could be a game changer.
    • 3/5
      I'm not really certain how I feel about this one. I felt some similarities to Angela Duckworth's book "Grit" - I don't believe this needed to be an entire book and could have covered the main points in a smaller, more trimmed format. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot at the perceived simplicity of the topic and solutions, but I must admit I did find myself relating back to previous difficult conversations with my partner, friends and family and recognize I have a lot of work to do and can do much better. I think I am hesitant a lot of time to these kinds of books and lectures because a lot of the time it feels like a commercial, or that they're persuading the reader that "yes, this does work." I've already bought the book! I'm already here! Perhaps this is a proactive approach to breach listener's defenses since their initial reaction may be negative (like mine is) but I can't shake the feeling that I'm listening to a TED talk in book form, rather than reading something that requires 230 pages.
    • 2/5
      Hated the first section about how this book will transform your life and made your a super human being. This book can be summed efficiently into a blog post without losing any core material.
    • 3/5
      A key skill for any effective leader is the ability to navigate emotionally or politically risky issues.Some good insights. Implementing it's suggestions requires practice and reference to the book. Perhaps, not so good for an audio book.
    • 4/5
      Do conversations ever catch you off-guard? Do you ever feel unprepared for conversations that pop up spontaneously yet seem to matter a lot and to affect dramatically the course of our lives? These situations often occur in families and in businesses, and this book attempts to prepare us better for handling those weighty situations.

      This book came recommended to me as a part of a book club at my workplace. I can see why. It takes the topic (crucial conversations) and parses it from just about every angle. Readers will not only gain self-knowledge and self-awareness; they will benefit from developing skills in handling difficult situations. This mastery will allow its adherents to handle even everyday situations and relationships with greater ease and skill.

      It focuses on our ability to “dialogue” openly and honestly – with a free and thorough exchange of information. To some, this skill might seem obvious. For me, however, this skill is tangential to my main work at a computer screen. Relationships still are very important to my work, but I am not able to give prolonged thought to developing these over time. Conversations sort of pop up to me. The skills and concepts in this book empower me to handle those situations better – and with less anxiety.

      One concept I find particularly illuminating is that we all have a tendency to either silence (passive) or violence (controlling) in the way that we react. In truth, both of these are enemies of good dialogue because they do not extend the conversation.

      As the authors acknowledge, conversation for conversation’s sake seems to be not a great aim, but conversation for the sake of getting things done contains a higher aim. By learning how to work with others better, we learn how to become more effective and have greater influence.

    • 4/5
      A key skill for any effective leader is the ability to navigate emotionally or politically risky issues. In having these Crucial Conversations, when a lot is at stake and emotions are high, an adept leader must be able to manage themselves more than the situation. It became clear that Coherent Communication and other HeartMath techniques would provide the solid foundation for this self-regulation and allow a top performer to create a safe environment. Once everyone feels heard and unthreatened, then the decision-making and action can proceed.
    • 4/5
      Shouldn't a book on how to have productive dialogue be unneeded? Don't we already know how to talk with each other?

      We may, but we often don't.

      This is a useful set of tools and strategies for having those conversations with loved ones at home and with colleagues at work.
    • 4/5
      I first read this book in 2008. It was given to me as part of a leadership seminar I attended through work. I wasn't too fond of the book.

      It's longer than it needs to be, a good portion of the book is common sense, it creates silly jargon and refers back to little trite anecdotes over, and over, and over.

      I reread it a few years later, and I got the newer edition from the library and I reread it this year.

      All of the downsides of this book are still there. It's still longer than it needs to be, has a good amount of information that seemingly anyone reaching adulthood would already know, they still create silly management theory jargon, and refers to Kevin and other anecdotes over and over and over.

      On the other hand, ten years later, I've worked in more teams, and been in more types of situations. I've worked with people who certainly don't know the information in this book, and I dread working with them. Regarding length--most people can skim and read books like this faster than something dense and heavy. The silly management theory jargon is an artifact of this being part of paid leadership training--fun jargony phrases lend themselves to printouts and documentation they can share to look smart and prepared. The same goes for the anecdata aspect of this.

      On the other hand, ten years later, I can unequivocally say that there is useful information in here, potentially even essential information here on how to deal with those emotional conversations where there are multiple sides and high stakes.
    • 4/5
      This book is very useful. It provides lots of help in learning to have difficult conversations. Following some of the suggestions has made me a better communicator already.
    • 3/5
      While the strategies presented in this books are worth considering, I found myself struggling with the writing style. The authors kept extolling the virtues of their strategies, how "great" they are, and how much they will change your life. It felt a bit like reading an infomercial. The numerous examples felt half formed. The strategies presented seemed like common sense, but there was very little evidence beyond anecdotes to proved their effectiveness. There were only 5 citations in the book, despite multiple areas where references could/should be added. It is possible I just struggle with the genre of business books that feel more like an infomercial than good research. I will try to be more conscious about using the strategies in the book, but reading it was a slog for me.
    • 4/5
      A surprisingly good self-help type book about how to talk to people without getting emotional, have difficult conversations, how to get people to compromise with you, etc. Examples tend to be from the business world and include some jargon, but there are also examples from personal life. I got the book in conjunction with a training program.
    • 5/5
      I have read Difficult Conversations - Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and although both books talk about how to have these 'important' discussions, they are kinda different approach. I don't intend to say that they have any kind of a prequel/sequel relationship, but just that the ideas and techniques mentioned in this book are very interesting."Emotions don't exactly prepare us to converse effectively."Recommended to anyone.
    • 5/5
      I love this book! It changed my life and I recommend it to everyone. One of the major problems that has plagued me all my life was becoming too emotional when things were important to me. This book has helped me recognize that I was getting upset and helped me deal with my emotions so I could come back to the conversations from a calmer place. The book is written in simple language with lots of repetition and stories to make it easy to read and understand. The authors also use a lot of acronyms to help people remember what to do. Some of the reviews have complained about this. I have no complaints on this issue. The book is intended to accessible to low level readers. There are some areas where I don't feel they were simplistic or clear enough. I made myself flash cards of the basic principles to use during group discussion to keep myself on track. I didn't find chapters #9 or #11 very helpful. I expected more practical advice on "moving to action" and "putting it all together". But just looking at the table of contents reminds me off all the skills and tools I need to keep a productive discussion from becoming a heated argument. I wish they had an even more simplistic version of this book intended for teenagers. These are the sorts of emotion regulating skills teenagers could really benefit from.I buy copies of this book to give to my friends. I know that giving other people a self-help book is rarely helpful but I just hope if there are enough copies of this book floating around out there more people will read it and become better at discussing instead of fighting or withdrawing. The more information in the pool of shared knowledge the better!
    • 4/5
      If you are concerned about how to tackle a sensitive conversation with anyone, this is a must read book.
    • 3/5
      Like most self-help and business books, this book presented ideas in a straightforward approach and with simple examples and explanations to the extent that most of the concepts presented felt very "common sense" and leaving the reader with thoughts like "well, yeah, why didn't I think of that?" The book discusses the topic of Crucial Conversations which are conversations in which there are 3 Elements: (1) High Stakes, (2) Varied Opinions and (3) Strong Emotions. In these situations, the authors posit that people generally trend towards one of two veins of communication: Violence or Silence.The first few chapters do a good job at explaining their definition of what makes a conversation "Crucial" by presenting some key identifiers and using some "real world" examples. For example, what color shirt to wear or what to have for dinner may not be a crucial conversation…unless you're having that conversation on your anniversary with your spouse and even then, depending on your relationship with your spouse, that may not be a "crucial' conversation. Other examples include providing negative (or "constructive") feedback to a co-worker or (even more crucial) a boss, discussing sensitive lifestyle choices of a sibling/child/friend, etc. As the book continues, the authors make a point of teaching readers to look at themselves as much as they look at others…or even more, since the only person we can directly change/influence is ourself.So once the book explains WHAT a crucial conversation is and how to recognize it, the authors proceed to give methods for identifying our personal way of dealing with the stress of crucial conversations (do we move to Violence or Silence…do we lash out at others with hurtful accusatory language, or do we pull back and refuse to add anything helpful to the conversation?). They also help provide insight into recognizing the dialogue styles of others. Once the dialogue styles are identified, then the task is to bring the Crucial Conversation to a healthy middle ground where thoughts and ideas can and will be presented without driving any of the participants to Violence or Silence and as a result, the participants can move towards a healthy resolution. The authors also provide examples of how to identify that successful outcome (because we may feel like the conversation ended well, when in reality the other person is now off sulking silently).Overall, I felt like the book was an insightful and intriguing read. As I mentioned at the onset, many (or at least the better ones) business/self-help books are presented in such a way that it's easy to accept the concepts as logical and true. I felt like this book did a good job doing just that. The concepts and ideas presented may not be easy to adhere to (especially in the heat of an emotionally stressful discussion), but they are good ideas and I do believe that if a person could, at the very least, keep them in mind, that person would likely have more successful interpersonal interactions. The authors make some pretty audacious claims about things that will come if we master Crucial Conversations (ranging from being more successful at work or having a happier home life or a healthier body) and once again, they back their claims up in logical ways. I would be skeptical of their claims to the extent that they are based on becoming a "Master" of Crucial Conversations and so the caveat is that the definition of "Master" may not be possible to fully achieve. Still, I do believe that any progress along the trajectory will be beneficial and will help you make strides towards reaching the outcomes they claim.I felt like this was a worthwhile read. It moves pretty quickly and has some humorous anecdotes to keep the reading fresh and accessible. If you're interested in communications, have your own "crucial conversation" coming up, or are just looking for some general advice that may help you relate better to others around you, go ahead and pick this book up. It had good advice and ideas that would help in both personal and professional venues.***3 out of 5 stars
    • 4/5
      This is an exceptional guide to approaching life-changing conversations in a way that handles the baggage and emotions that so often derail them. It includes a general framework, plus some self-diagnostic tools and plenty of realistic examples.
    • 4/5
      This book tackles a very important topic, and from the right perspective, in my opinion. The lessons taught are very fundamental and helpful.The basic lessons are also rather simple and explained quickly, though not necessarily *easy* to really grok. And here is where I felt the book didn't do a very good job: the examples provided often felt superficial and contrived to me, showing the mechanics of the process, but not really communicating the spirit of the ideas.This became especially apparent in the chapter on "tough cases", where the standard advice seems to be "this actually isn't a special case, just do what we have adviced to do in earlier chapters" - just in more words.Still, a very valuable read, with good, sound advice.
    • 4/5
      Good practical way of dealing with difficult conversations & situations. It helps you to get into the mind of others and recognize the same issues in your own mind as you address issues. Excellent material.
    • 4/5
      It seems that most of the books I've been reading and reviewing lately have been fulfilling a personal crisis. Wounded by School came at a time when I was looking for help with my son's academic career. Crucial Conversations arrived around the time I was preparing for my annual review and several months after receiving feedback from several peers that still has me reeling.I picked up this book hoping to help me be able to better converse with my co-workers, who declared that I was rude, confrontational and unapproachable. While I may not be quite where I want to be, this book did not disappoint in providing me with helpful hints and tools to use to better converse with everyone in my life - from loved ones to managers to peers. It's going to take me some time to master these skills, but at least understanding some of the issues I face and how to initiate overcoming them is half the battle.The authors freely admit that this book is not meant to be read in a short time frame but meant to be absorbed chapter by chapter. The goal is to get the reader to master each skill and build upon it. In order for me to best be able to absorb these lessons, I will definitely have to revisit each chapter. But I did come away with some initial lessons that emotions are our biggest downfalls when it comes to conversations that matter. Knowing how much my heart pounds and the blood rushes when I get truly upset or nervous, this definitely touched a cord. Being cognizant of the damage emotions do to conversations will help me be able to take steps to minimize their impact. In fact, I've already started incorporating this lesson and hope to remain cognizant of my emotions in all of my conversations. Some days I will do better than others, but at least I am trying.The beauty is that these skills have their place in your professional and personal life. The concepts are presented in an easy-to-understand manner, and the authors provide many mnemonic devices that help the reader remember the skills. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their ability to converse and field their way in the trickiest, most sensitive of conversations.Thank you to Anna Suknov at FSB Associates for the opportunity to review this book!
    • 5/5
      Highly recommended. W- and I have both read this, and it makes those tough conversations go so smoothly! =D
    • 5/5
      This is a seminal book with concepts that should be taught in schools, churches, and every workplace. Lives will be changed when these principles are consistently practiced.
    • 5/5
      Every teacher, principal or other leader should read this book. It has powerful advice on how to handle conversations within board meetings, parents meetings, etc.
    • 5/5
      Not a Christian book but helpful for people coming out of abusive churches or confronting someone in a cult.