Audiobook4 hours
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
Written by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Narrated by Anna Fields
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
4/5
()
About this audiobook
The New York Times Bestseller!
Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare.
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want. You'll learn how to:
Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
Make it safe to talk about almost anything
Be persuasive, not abrasive
Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want
Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.
Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare.
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want. You'll learn how to:
Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
Make it safe to talk about almost anything
Be persuasive, not abrasive
Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want
Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.
More audiobooks from Kerry Patterson
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Influence, Third Edition: Leadership Skills to Create Lasting Behavior Change Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Influencer: The Power to Change Anything Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Employee Experience: How to Attract Talent, Retain Top Performers, and Drive Results Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related to Crucial Conversations
Related audiobooks
Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/535 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say That Widen the Diversity Gap Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Principle-Centered Leadership Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Got You Here Won't Get You There in Sales: How Successful Salespeople Take it to the Next Level Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bringing Out the Best in People: How to Apply the Astonishing Power of Positive Reinforcement, Third Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Think and Grow Rich: The Original 1937 Classic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Perfect Phrases for Performance Reviews 2/E Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Woo: Using Strategic Persuasion to Sell Your Ideas Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leadership is Dead: How Influence is Reviving It Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Whale Done!: The Power of Positive Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Who: The A Method for Hiring Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/57 Rules of Power: Surprising - But True - Advice on How to Get Things Done and Advance Your Career Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Heart-Led Leader: How Living and Leading from the Heart Will Change Your Organization and Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Too Soon Old Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Small Big: Small Changes That Spark Big Influence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Public Speaking Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Business Communication For You
Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Communication Book: 44 Ideas for Better Conversations Every Day Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Win Every Argument: The Art of Debating, Persuading, and Public Speaking Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The First Minute: How to start conversations that get results Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Get to the Point!: Sharpen Your Message and Make Your Words Matter Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Six Cs of Effective Storytelling Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What to Say Next: Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love—with Autism Spectrum Disorder Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success Communicating on the Job Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5You've Got 8 Seconds: Communication Secrets for a Distracted World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Rational Optimist: How Prosperity Evolves Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The First-Time Manager Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Secrets of Successful Public Speakers: How to Improve Confidence and Credibility in Your Communication Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for Crucial Conversations
Rating: 4.089251517082534 out of 5 stars
4/5
521 ratings32 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great read. Definitely educational and useful for any person to use in any circumstance in life.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5One the best book only work if we put into practice the skills taught.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Good book every one should read it and learn from
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is worthy of putting into practice. It will be read more than once.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent perspective and actionable skills on how to have difficult conversations. We all learn to talk and wait to talk but listening and proper dialog is a skills that will take you far.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent book, practical, insightful, one to go back to again and again for work and personal benefit.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Read and learn that you need to listen and know how your comments effect others
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Essential guide to serious talk.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Actual rating: 2.5. Some good ideas but I don't think I walked away from it with as many usable lessons on communication as I've had with other texts. Also, it lacks an understanding of nuance in relationships and intersectionality that I can't fully express right now.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Some padding in the content, but most of it is actual, useful how-to with examples. It's not fluff, it's not hogwash, it just takes time to reshape or rewire how one defaults into old habits in conversations. With practise, this could be a game changer.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'm not really certain how I feel about this one. I felt some similarities to Angela Duckworth's book "Grit" - I don't believe this needed to be an entire book and could have covered the main points in a smaller, more trimmed format. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot at the perceived simplicity of the topic and solutions, but I must admit I did find myself relating back to previous difficult conversations with my partner, friends and family and recognize I have a lot of work to do and can do much better. I think I am hesitant a lot of time to these kinds of books and lectures because a lot of the time it feels like a commercial, or that they're persuading the reader that "yes, this does work." I've already bought the book! I'm already here! Perhaps this is a proactive approach to breach listener's defenses since their initial reaction may be negative (like mine is) but I can't shake the feeling that I'm listening to a TED talk in book form, rather than reading something that requires 230 pages.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Hated the first section about how this book will transform your life and made your a super human being. This book can be summed efficiently into a blog post without losing any core material.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A key skill for any effective leader is the ability to navigate emotionally or politically risky issues.Some good insights. Implementing it's suggestions requires practice and reference to the book. Perhaps, not so good for an audio book.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Do conversations ever catch you off-guard? Do you ever feel unprepared for conversations that pop up spontaneously yet seem to matter a lot and to affect dramatically the course of our lives? These situations often occur in families and in businesses, and this book attempts to prepare us better for handling those weighty situations.
This book came recommended to me as a part of a book club at my workplace. I can see why. It takes the topic (crucial conversations) and parses it from just about every angle. Readers will not only gain self-knowledge and self-awareness; they will benefit from developing skills in handling difficult situations. This mastery will allow its adherents to handle even everyday situations and relationships with greater ease and skill.
It focuses on our ability to “dialogue” openly and honestly – with a free and thorough exchange of information. To some, this skill might seem obvious. For me, however, this skill is tangential to my main work at a computer screen. Relationships still are very important to my work, but I am not able to give prolonged thought to developing these over time. Conversations sort of pop up to me. The skills and concepts in this book empower me to handle those situations better – and with less anxiety.
One concept I find particularly illuminating is that we all have a tendency to either silence (passive) or violence (controlling) in the way that we react. In truth, both of these are enemies of good dialogue because they do not extend the conversation.
As the authors acknowledge, conversation for conversation’s sake seems to be not a great aim, but conversation for the sake of getting things done contains a higher aim. By learning how to work with others better, we learn how to become more effective and have greater influence. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A key skill for any effective leader is the ability to navigate emotionally or politically risky issues. In having these Crucial Conversations, when a lot is at stake and emotions are high, an adept leader must be able to manage themselves more than the situation. It became clear that Coherent Communication and other HeartMath techniques would provide the solid foundation for this self-regulation and allow a top performer to create a safe environment. Once everyone feels heard and unthreatened, then the decision-making and action can proceed.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shouldn't a book on how to have productive dialogue be unneeded? Don't we already know how to talk with each other?
We may, but we often don't.
This is a useful set of tools and strategies for having those conversations with loved ones at home and with colleagues at work. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I first read this book in 2008. It was given to me as part of a leadership seminar I attended through work. I wasn't too fond of the book.
It's longer than it needs to be, a good portion of the book is common sense, it creates silly jargon and refers back to little trite anecdotes over, and over, and over.
I reread it a few years later, and I got the newer edition from the library and I reread it this year.
All of the downsides of this book are still there. It's still longer than it needs to be, has a good amount of information that seemingly anyone reaching adulthood would already know, they still create silly management theory jargon, and refers to Kevin and other anecdotes over and over and over.
On the other hand, ten years later, I've worked in more teams, and been in more types of situations. I've worked with people who certainly don't know the information in this book, and I dread working with them. Regarding length--most people can skim and read books like this faster than something dense and heavy. The silly management theory jargon is an artifact of this being part of paid leadership training--fun jargony phrases lend themselves to printouts and documentation they can share to look smart and prepared. The same goes for the anecdata aspect of this.
On the other hand, ten years later, I can unequivocally say that there is useful information in here, potentially even essential information here on how to deal with those emotional conversations where there are multiple sides and high stakes. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book is very useful. It provides lots of help in learning to have difficult conversations. Following some of the suggestions has made me a better communicator already.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5While the strategies presented in this books are worth considering, I found myself struggling with the writing style. The authors kept extolling the virtues of their strategies, how "great" they are, and how much they will change your life. It felt a bit like reading an infomercial. The numerous examples felt half formed. The strategies presented seemed like common sense, but there was very little evidence beyond anecdotes to proved their effectiveness. There were only 5 citations in the book, despite multiple areas where references could/should be added. It is possible I just struggle with the genre of business books that feel more like an infomercial than good research. I will try to be more conscious about using the strategies in the book, but reading it was a slog for me.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A surprisingly good self-help type book about how to talk to people without getting emotional, have difficult conversations, how to get people to compromise with you, etc. Examples tend to be from the business world and include some jargon, but there are also examples from personal life. I got the book in conjunction with a training program.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I have read Difficult Conversations - Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and although both books talk about how to have these 'important' discussions, they are kinda different approach. I don't intend to say that they have any kind of a prequel/sequel relationship, but just that the ideas and techniques mentioned in this book are very interesting."Emotions don't exactly prepare us to converse effectively."Recommended to anyone.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I love this book! It changed my life and I recommend it to everyone. One of the major problems that has plagued me all my life was becoming too emotional when things were important to me. This book has helped me recognize that I was getting upset and helped me deal with my emotions so I could come back to the conversations from a calmer place. The book is written in simple language with lots of repetition and stories to make it easy to read and understand. The authors also use a lot of acronyms to help people remember what to do. Some of the reviews have complained about this. I have no complaints on this issue. The book is intended to accessible to low level readers. There are some areas where I don't feel they were simplistic or clear enough. I made myself flash cards of the basic principles to use during group discussion to keep myself on track. I didn't find chapters #9 or #11 very helpful. I expected more practical advice on "moving to action" and "putting it all together". But just looking at the table of contents reminds me off all the skills and tools I need to keep a productive discussion from becoming a heated argument. I wish they had an even more simplistic version of this book intended for teenagers. These are the sorts of emotion regulating skills teenagers could really benefit from.I buy copies of this book to give to my friends. I know that giving other people a self-help book is rarely helpful but I just hope if there are enough copies of this book floating around out there more people will read it and become better at discussing instead of fighting or withdrawing. The more information in the pool of shared knowledge the better!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5If you are concerned about how to tackle a sensitive conversation with anyone, this is a must read book.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Like most self-help and business books, this book presented ideas in a straightforward approach and with simple examples and explanations to the extent that most of the concepts presented felt very "common sense" and leaving the reader with thoughts like "well, yeah, why didn't I think of that?" The book discusses the topic of Crucial Conversations which are conversations in which there are 3 Elements: (1) High Stakes, (2) Varied Opinions and (3) Strong Emotions. In these situations, the authors posit that people generally trend towards one of two veins of communication: Violence or Silence.The first few chapters do a good job at explaining their definition of what makes a conversation "Crucial" by presenting some key identifiers and using some "real world" examples. For example, what color shirt to wear or what to have for dinner may not be a crucial conversation…unless you're having that conversation on your anniversary with your spouse and even then, depending on your relationship with your spouse, that may not be a "crucial' conversation. Other examples include providing negative (or "constructive") feedback to a co-worker or (even more crucial) a boss, discussing sensitive lifestyle choices of a sibling/child/friend, etc. As the book continues, the authors make a point of teaching readers to look at themselves as much as they look at others…or even more, since the only person we can directly change/influence is ourself.So once the book explains WHAT a crucial conversation is and how to recognize it, the authors proceed to give methods for identifying our personal way of dealing with the stress of crucial conversations (do we move to Violence or Silence…do we lash out at others with hurtful accusatory language, or do we pull back and refuse to add anything helpful to the conversation?). They also help provide insight into recognizing the dialogue styles of others. Once the dialogue styles are identified, then the task is to bring the Crucial Conversation to a healthy middle ground where thoughts and ideas can and will be presented without driving any of the participants to Violence or Silence and as a result, the participants can move towards a healthy resolution. The authors also provide examples of how to identify that successful outcome (because we may feel like the conversation ended well, when in reality the other person is now off sulking silently).Overall, I felt like the book was an insightful and intriguing read. As I mentioned at the onset, many (or at least the better ones) business/self-help books are presented in such a way that it's easy to accept the concepts as logical and true. I felt like this book did a good job doing just that. The concepts and ideas presented may not be easy to adhere to (especially in the heat of an emotionally stressful discussion), but they are good ideas and I do believe that if a person could, at the very least, keep them in mind, that person would likely have more successful interpersonal interactions. The authors make some pretty audacious claims about things that will come if we master Crucial Conversations (ranging from being more successful at work or having a happier home life or a healthier body) and once again, they back their claims up in logical ways. I would be skeptical of their claims to the extent that they are based on becoming a "Master" of Crucial Conversations and so the caveat is that the definition of "Master" may not be possible to fully achieve. Still, I do believe that any progress along the trajectory will be beneficial and will help you make strides towards reaching the outcomes they claim.I felt like this was a worthwhile read. It moves pretty quickly and has some humorous anecdotes to keep the reading fresh and accessible. If you're interested in communications, have your own "crucial conversation" coming up, or are just looking for some general advice that may help you relate better to others around you, go ahead and pick this book up. It had good advice and ideas that would help in both personal and professional venues.***3 out of 5 stars
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is an exceptional guide to approaching life-changing conversations in a way that handles the baggage and emotions that so often derail them. It includes a general framework, plus some self-diagnostic tools and plenty of realistic examples.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book tackles a very important topic, and from the right perspective, in my opinion. The lessons taught are very fundamental and helpful.The basic lessons are also rather simple and explained quickly, though not necessarily *easy* to really grok. And here is where I felt the book didn't do a very good job: the examples provided often felt superficial and contrived to me, showing the mechanics of the process, but not really communicating the spirit of the ideas.This became especially apparent in the chapter on "tough cases", where the standard advice seems to be "this actually isn't a special case, just do what we have adviced to do in earlier chapters" - just in more words.Still, a very valuable read, with good, sound advice.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Good practical way of dealing with difficult conversations & situations. It helps you to get into the mind of others and recognize the same issues in your own mind as you address issues. Excellent material.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It seems that most of the books I've been reading and reviewing lately have been fulfilling a personal crisis. Wounded by School came at a time when I was looking for help with my son's academic career. Crucial Conversations arrived around the time I was preparing for my annual review and several months after receiving feedback from several peers that still has me reeling.I picked up this book hoping to help me be able to better converse with my co-workers, who declared that I was rude, confrontational and unapproachable. While I may not be quite where I want to be, this book did not disappoint in providing me with helpful hints and tools to use to better converse with everyone in my life - from loved ones to managers to peers. It's going to take me some time to master these skills, but at least understanding some of the issues I face and how to initiate overcoming them is half the battle.The authors freely admit that this book is not meant to be read in a short time frame but meant to be absorbed chapter by chapter. The goal is to get the reader to master each skill and build upon it. In order for me to best be able to absorb these lessons, I will definitely have to revisit each chapter. But I did come away with some initial lessons that emotions are our biggest downfalls when it comes to conversations that matter. Knowing how much my heart pounds and the blood rushes when I get truly upset or nervous, this definitely touched a cord. Being cognizant of the damage emotions do to conversations will help me be able to take steps to minimize their impact. In fact, I've already started incorporating this lesson and hope to remain cognizant of my emotions in all of my conversations. Some days I will do better than others, but at least I am trying.The beauty is that these skills have their place in your professional and personal life. The concepts are presented in an easy-to-understand manner, and the authors provide many mnemonic devices that help the reader remember the skills. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their ability to converse and field their way in the trickiest, most sensitive of conversations.Thank you to Anna Suknov at FSB Associates for the opportunity to review this book!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Highly recommended. W- and I have both read this, and it makes those tough conversations go so smoothly! =D
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a seminal book with concepts that should be taught in schools, churches, and every workplace. Lives will be changed when these principles are consistently practiced.