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    Apocalypse Cow
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    Apocalypse Cow
    Unavailable
    Apocalypse Cow
    Audiobook8 hours

    Apocalypse Cow

    Written by Michael Logan

    Narrated by Steve Worsley

    3.5/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    When scientists with warped imaginations accidentally unleash an experimental bioweapon that transforms Britain's animals into sneezing, bloodthirsty zombies with a penchant for pre-dinner sex with their victims, three misfits become the unlikely hope for salvation.

    Abattoir worker Terry Borders' love life is crippled by the stench of death that clings to his skin from his days spent slaughtering cows; teenage vegan Geldof 'Scabby' Peters alternates between scratching furiously at his rash and baiting his overbearing New Age mother; and inept journalist Lesley McBrien struggles forlornly in the shadow of her famous war correspondent father and the star journalist at the Glasgow Tribune.

    When Britain begins a rapid descent into chaos and ministers cynically attempt to blame al-Qaeda, Lesley stumbles upon proof that the government is behind the outbreak. During her bumbling quest to unveil the truth, she crosses paths with Terry and Geldof, and together they set out to escape a quarantined Britain with the evidence and vital data that could unlock a cure for the virus.

    Standing in the way are rampaging hordes of animals, a ruthless security agent and an army ready to shoot anybody with a case of the sniffles on the off-chance the virus has mutated.

    Three losers. Overwhelming odds. A single outcome: the world is screwed.

    A Random House UK audio production.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRandom House UK Audio
    Release dateAug 23, 2012
    ISBN9781448154920
    Unavailable
    Apocalypse Cow
    Author

    Michael Logan

    This is Michael Logan’s first book. Excerpts from his book-in-progress, a work of nonfiction, have appeared in Conjunctions.

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    Reviews for Apocalypse Cow

    3.5/5

    51 ratings11 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Zombie cows, nuff said.
    • 5/5
      I loved this book. A contagion released from a facility where a new biological weapon has been created and tested on cows. Now, with infected cows biting and humping their way across the area, all animals (but fowl) are becoming infected. And, what happens if it crosses into humans?? Well, it does! A hilarious and awesome story of Britain's apocalypse brought on by a cow. Can not wait to read the sequel.
    • 4/5
      This is a hilarious read, if not a bit scary as well. I only hope it remains fiction!
    • 5/5
      I would like to hug the author of this book.

      I found this at Half Price Books, and bought it strictly because the name was hilarious. How could anyone NOT want to read a book called "Apocalypse Cow"? I didn't even care at the time if it was going to suck or not.

      Turns out it was brilliant. An absolutely hilarious book. The characters were quirky and lovable and wierd, the situation was downright ridiculous, while managing to be terrifying at the same time.

      What a wonderful read. I want a sequel.
    • 4/5
      Here's a twist on the zombie apocalypse genre that I'm pretty sure I've never seen before: a zombie virus that affects animals, but not humans. It's accidentally released by government scientists, and the resulting zombie mayhem starts in a slaughterhouse, where the cows are suddenly the ones doing the slaughtering. Things get worse from there, naturally, as we follow the adventures of a guilt-ridden slaughterhouse survivor, the inept reporter who fumbled her opportunity to reveal the truth about the virus' origins, and a teenage boy whose hippie mother refuses to believe that animals would ever attack a vegan.It's a ridiculous premise, obviously, but the book runs with it in ways that are often extremely funny. Although, needless to say, it's a very dark sort of humor. I admit the animal lover in me cringed in a couple of places, and I probably could have done without the idea of animals humping their victims before eating them. But I laughed out loud fairly frequently, anyway. It's also got a decent (even if ridiculous) action/horror/government conspiracy plot that's almost impossible not to imagine as a movie, and the humor is the kind that doesn't forget that for the characters at least, things are very serious. The ending (which might or might not be setting up a sequel) is a little anticlimactic. But, really, who cares? It's got zombie cows. And it delivers exactly the kinds of things you expect a book to deliver when you open it knowing that it's about zombie cows. Honestly, what more could you possibly want? It almost deserves four stars just for the title alone.
    • 4/5
      This tongue-in-cheek look at a cow-zombie apocalypse wasn't quite as funny as I was expecting, in all honesty, but it was still worth some chuckles and some (sympathetic) cringes, and the central trio of characters was endearing. It certainly showed promise, and it will be interesting to see how the author develops his comic touch.
    • 5/5
      A very (can I say "udderly"?) entertaining read, dark humor complete with zombie cows and sheep (among other mammals), corrupt government officials, and the necessary underdogs (uninfected, of course) that are facing mayhem and death at every turn!
      This was an outstanding effort from first-time author Michael Logan, and I'm looking forward to reading more of his work. A sequel, perhaps? ;)
    • 4/5
      Apocalypse Cow offered all the quirky humour I expected from a Terry Pratchett Prize winner with a pun for a title, and then it gave me a lot more. It's actually a good apocalypse story - thrilling and shockingly credible. It's gross enough at some points to have made me turn my head from the book (as if that helps). It's like all the people I love best - dark, smart, funny, and a bit disturbing.
    • 4/5
      It started with one cow who refused to die. Some brilliant British officials got the bright idea to develop a virus that uses animals to spread disease and kill people....problem is the scientist decided it would be cool to see how many transmission vectors they could add at one time. Soon "zombie" cows, sheep, foxes, rats, etc...are killing, or having sex with everything in sight. In the falling apart country the story follows a family of vegans, a lonely slaughterhouse worker, and a clueless reporter as they struggle to survive and get the story out......then the virus jumps to humans.A fun story thats well written and enjoyable.
    • 5/5
      So this was an adventure. This book was as funny as I expected, but also serious, which I did not anticipate. It follows several people separately as a government made virus is accidentally released and infects cows at an abattoir in Scotland. A terrifying government agent is sent to clean up the mess and tie up any loose ends. But a lone cow manages to escape the slaughter and sets off infecting animals along to countryside.The various characters' stories all merge until they are one group trying to escape Britian and avoid capture, torture and death at the hands of secret government assassin. All while trying to avoid slavering animals who were hell bent on screwing and then eating the uninfected to death.There were some parts with the slaughtering that turned my stomach and made me put the book down for a bit. But this was a good read. I actually connected with some of the characters and was rooting for them to survive and get the true story out about how the virus was actually spread. This book was a mess in the good sense. I'm looking forward to diving into the sequel.
    • 5/5
      Humour in novels is a hit and miss affair and a zombie cow apocalypse may sound more farcical than humourous, however it's surprisingly deft in its delivery. Logan's comedic style is similar to that of Ben Elton, creating humour from the well written and fleshed out characters, rather than just silly actions. The cast are certainly diverse and (very similarly to Elton) the taboo nature of the source material creates an adult read, with humour delivered sometimes in punches and sometimes more wryly. There's actually a plot in there too, rather like 28 Days Later in reverse, whilst the earlier chapters are reminiscent of Shaun of the Dead. albeit it more bovine. The fun is not as prevalent in the final fifth, where the action takes precedence, however, unlike Elton, there are no dry patches up until that point, Logan is consistent with his style and it's rare to find that in many books in the humour genre. This is a successful merger of horror and comedy and although it's another zombie book, this doesn't really feel like one since the characters are so important.