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    Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide
    Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide
    Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide
    Audiobook6 hours

    Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide

    Written by Peter Allison

    Narrated by Antony Ferguson

    4.5/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Whatever You Do, Don't Run is a hilarious collection of true tales from top -safari guide Peter Allison. In a place where the
    wrong behavior could get you eaten, Allison has survived face-to-face encounters with big cats, angry -elephants, and the world's most unpredictable animals-herds of untamed tourists and foolhardy guides
    whose outrageous antics sometimes make them even more dangerous than a pride of hungry lions!Join Allison as he faces down charging lions-twice; searches for a drunk, half-naked tourist who happens to be a member of the British royal family; drives a Land Rover full of tourists into a lagoon full of hippos; and adopts the most -vicious animal in Africa as his "pet." Full of lively humor and a genuine love and respect for Botswana and its rich wildlife, Whatever You Do, Don't Run takes you to where the wild things are and introduces
    you to a place where every day is a new adventure!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateFeb 20, 2012
    ISBN9781452676166
    Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide

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    Reviews for Whatever You Do, Don't Run

    4.5/5

    60 ratings23 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Excellent, good description of the environment and animals. Not sad or graphic in animal kills, good story to follow - would recommend!
    • 5/5
      Peter Allison's stories about being a safari guide in Africa are pure entertainment. Whatever You Do, Don't Run is filled with fun-to-read stories ranging from idiotic things that tourists do, to dangerous face-to-face encounters with lions.

      He has a knack for relating the humorous happenings around camp, including being overrun by mice and a college-like party atmosphere when the guides are off duty. He is also honest about the less glamorous aspects of the job, yet manages to still make them sound interesting.

      If you have ever wondered what it would be like to go on safari in Africa, then I would recommend this memoir. It was so much fun to read that I still find myself chuckling at some of the stories a couple of weeks after reading it.
    • 4/5
      I read this while enjoying my first safari at Mala Mala in South Africa. The book echoed my experiences there. It is a lighthearted and enjoyable read.
    • 3/5
      "Whatever you do, don't run." This was the solemn counsel of the three guides who worked at the camp. "Food runs," added Alpheus, the tracker, his rough face split by an enormous grin. "And there is nothing here that you can outrun anyway."Summary: When he was 19, Peter Allison left his native Australia and moved to Africa to become a wildlife safari guide in South Africa and Botswana. Whatever You Do, Don't Run is a collection of some of Allison's stories from his experiences working in a safari camp, stories that involve charging buffalo, a plague of mice, misbehaving royalty, waterlogged Land Rovers, hungry honey badgers, lion pride drama, German tourists, and baby elephants.Review: This book is not a memoir per se; it's more of a collection of stories, the sort that get told when you're sitting around after work with drinks and somebody breaks out with "Hey, remember the time that ______?" I can say this with some authority, since the day after I started reading this book, my coworkers and I were having drinks, and we started telling exactly these same kinds of stories. Ours had a less-dramatic cast of animal characters, admittedly, but the gist was the same. Honestly, I think any biologist, park ranger, nature guide, or zookeeper - anyone that works out of doors, with animals, and/or with tourists - probably has enough equally funny and/or death-defying stories to fill a similar book.This cuts both ways. On the one hand, Allison's stories are undeniably entertaining, he's got a good sense of comic timing, and his love for his job and the wildlife comes across loud and clear from every page. On the other hand, the fact that it was a loose collection of stories rather than a more ordered memoir meant that it was not really organized in any cogent manner, so that the stories skipped back and forth in time, people were constantly referred to without any introduction or context, and some bits of Allison's life (a crappy childhood in particular) were brought up from time to time without ever being explained. This gave the collection a somewhat unfinished feeling that was reinforced by the occasional roughness of the prose; Allison is clearly a safari guide first and a wordsmith second. But, as long as you're willing to treat this book the way you would a friend that's shooting the shit over drinks, and not as anything more formal, the stories are an entertaining diversion for a few hours. 3 out of 5 stars.Recommendation: It's not a must-read, but for fans of nature documentaries and African wildlife, it's a quick and humorous look into what it's like for the humans that live with such things every day.
    • 3/5
      I'm not sure whether to call this memoir or a travel book. It's an entertaining reminiscence of the author's work as a safari guide. The stories are funny and the tone is light. You won't learn much about history or culture from this book, but it may inspire you to plan a safari.
    • 4/5
      This is an account of a novice, then later experienced, safari guide in Africa. Allison has a particular talent for telling a tale that gets inside the head - and soul - of his subject. It's mostly the animals of course, but it is also the tourists and his fellow guides. In these short stories Allison tells the story of modern safari tourism as well as I've ever seen done. There's humour there, but also great affection, and some very reflective thinking about the nature of the business, and human nature in general. Very highly recommended for anyone with an interest in wildlife in Africa, and essential reading for anyone who is considering travelling there.
    • 3/5
      A light, entertaining glimpse of life among the wild animals of an African Safari. Peter is likeable and interesting, but the tales of constant drinking and idiocy wear a little thin.
    • 3/5
      If you've ever been on safari, you'll enjoy this book.
    • 3/5
      Fun anecdotal stories from a young safari guide in Botswana. I learned about what not to do as a guest on safari.
    • 5/5
      I have been enthralled with African animals since my first visit to the Natural History Museum in New York City when I was a child. I loved this book! I especially appreciate Allison's honesty and candor re. his inexperience when first starting as a guide. I felt as though I took a safari and never had to leave the comfort of my living room. The descriptive, humorous writing style kept me reading and wishing the book didn't end.
    • 4/5
      This book is a series of anecdotes from drawn from the author's career as a professional game guide in Africa. The stories are told with a light touch, a bit of humor and, quite clearly, a deep love of animals. The book is not a naturalist's study of animals, but we get a nice series of vignettes of the wildlife in Botswana.Though he does not hesitate to skewer the rude or stupid tourist (such as the individual who almost crashed the bush plane because he insisted on lunging over the pilot to take pictures), by far the most common target of his stories is himself. He applies a great dollop of self-deprecation as he talks about running his Land Rover underwater, trying to drive an elephant out of camp by standing in front of it while yelling, becoming one of "those" bird-watching people.About the only regret one can feel is that Allison doesn't have a greater gift for comic writing. Many of the stories are inherently funny and I found myself smiling quite a bit. However, in the hands of another author, I probably would have been guffawing.If you're interesting in a quick, pleasant, mildly humorous read and have any interest in African wildlife, I would recommend this book.
    • 5/5
      Has just the right mix of hilarity and seriousness. I enjoyed that the stories were generally stand-alone, so you can set it down when you're ready for a break.?
    • 4/5
      While it was entertaining, it lacked a little polish. A little rough in the ending of chapters with cut offs, that left me wondering what was missed. All in all I enjoyed it. I know I would of protested going across the hippo pools?❤️
    • 5/5
      Has just the right mix of hilarity and seriousness. I enjoyed that the stories were generally stand-alone, so you can set it down when you're ready for a break. 
    • 5/5
      Has just the right mix of hilarity and seriousness. I enjoyed that the stories were generally stand-alone, so you can set it down when you're ready for a break. 
    • 4/5
      Originally posted at Read. Run. Study.I have always been fascinated with African wildlife, so I am drawn to books like this one. The author, Peter Allison, tells a series of stories from his time as a safari guide in Africa. The book is an easy, lighthearted read. Mr. Allison has a great sense of humor and clearly has a lot of respect and admiration for the animals he shares his life with. Some of his adventures were reckless, but he acknowledges that and pokes fun at himself for them. Overall, this is a quick read that provides a fun behind the scenes look at the life of a young safari guide while letting you learn a little about the region and the animals that inhabit it.
    • 5/5
      Last week I took a safari in Botswana at Chobe National Park. It’s my first time on the African continent. This book enhanced my understanding of the beautiful animals I saw and the guides who know so much about them. It is well-written, funny, and full of admiration for wildlife. The short story format makes you feel like you’re listening to him tell these tales at a bonfire under the night sky. Wonderful.
    • 4/5
      Very entertaining! This is basically a collection of short stories about Allison's time in Africa as a Safari guide. It made me wish I could go on a safari. I'm only giving it four stars because I wish we had learned more about the cultures he lived in.
    • 5/5
      This is a must read for anyone embarking on visit to the African bush. Behind the self effacing humour there’s great wisdom and the knowledge to get you close to the action whilst not becoming part of it!
    • 4/5
      Quick, lighthearted read, with many funny stories. Good for an airport/trip, or if you are just in between books.
    • 3/5
      Easy read; entertaining; a few good wildlife observations; good detail of Botswana geography
    • 5/5
      Absolutely hilarious! Allison is a great writer, with beautiful descriptions of the various people and animals in his life. The life of this African safari tour guide is filled with hijinks, accidents and quick thinking as he encounters lions, Japanese tourists and deceptively shallow watering holes. Living the life of a safari tour guide is a dangerous and frustrating one but Allison survives with wonderful grace and a sense of humor.
    • 5/5
      Funny! Exhilarating! Not as cruel as Hemingway (or as well written, I admit)!True! I wrote it!