The hardest goodbye

‘Taylor was everything I was looking for’

Picking my newborn son up from his cot on the hospital ward, I held him close and breathed in his new baby scent. With his brown hair and tiny fingers and toes, Koa was absolutely perfect and I couldn’t have been more proud. But as I started putting him into his baby carrier to leave  the hospital, instead of the excitement that most dads feel when taking their baby home, I was numb. Everything was just wrong. There should have been three of us leaving that day. Instead, just hours old, Koa had been left without a mum, and, at 31, I found