THIS WAS GOING to be my minute-by-minute guide to planning the perfect Christmas, but I’ve just read a dozen articles on the subject and I’ve gone from relatively calm about the upcoming festivities to freaking the f*** out in about 20 minutes.

Now I feel guilty that I haven’t yet set my goals for ‘the Christmas I want’, tested the Christmas lights, and researched the availability and cost of that organic bird. But then I remind myself why our Christmas lunch is the same every year: 1)

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